Help! Cry out method happening now

[iloveburmese3]

Hi mamas. I need seriously encouragement and help... currently sleep training method when you leave baby 3 minutes, 6 minutes, 10 minutes. Daughter is 18 months and is having an absolute melt down. Screaming Dadda and choking she's crying so much. Going in doesn't soothe her she's just desperate to be held. Help! Anyone done this? Am I doing the right thing? I have an baby on the way in April and really want to nail the sleeping thing.

drgabormate.com/no-longer-believe-babies-cry-sleep/

trust Your gut. If it feels wrong, don’t do it 🥺
Go hold your baby. 🖤

People do it, I couldn't cope with the crying myself. It sounds awful.

Have you considered gradual retreat/withdrawal? I did that when I was pregnant and worrying about having 2 babies to put to bed

No crying with the method I did.

sounds like your child is in great distress - comfort her and search for other solutions that are more suitable.

It's only half 6. Go and get her and calm her for a bit and try again in an hour.

She's choking she's crying that much. How can you leave her so distressed? Seriously?!

Oh god why would you leave her crying?? You wouldn't leave an adult choking in another room in distress. Brutal.

It's a very personal decision.

We did controlled crying when DS1 was 10 months old. He is 14 now and I still consider it one of the best parenting decisions I ever made. I was utterly, completely broken from lack of sleep. DS was sleeping though within 3 nights and we never looked back.

I’d keep going in but not pick up, hush and rub her back and walk out again

Trust your instincts and cuddle her. Have a look at gentle withdrawal sleep training like the no cry sleep solution.

Go and get her. There's enough change in her little world with a new baby coming. She needs you now more than ever.

Have you tried gradual retreat first? What exactly is the issue? Is it that she takes a long time to settle, she wakes in the night or both?

This sounds like some form of torture, and absolutely unnecessary.

It's up to you but that kind of 'training' isn't for me. What exactly is the problem you're trying to solve? It's normal for a child that age to be cuddled to sleep. Is it night-waking, bedtimes, what?

Please go in and cuddle her. What about the gradual retreat instead?

Imagine that you are in a room screaming and you know that your loved ones can here but they leave you….

We did it with all 3 of ours at some point, because it was bedtime and they needed to be asleep not playing/having endless stories. It's hard and it's such an emotive topic that you'll get very strong opinions. You've got to do what's right for your family though.

That's an early bedtime. Try again tmrw an hour later and make sure she's had a really active day

Please go and pick up your baby OP.
Please

Sleep is developmental, you can’t force her to sleep. All you’re doing right now is distressing her and teaching her you won’t come. Sleep training is sometimes necessary but it’s really not needed for most babies. Please don’t feel you have to do this, her sleep will change when she’s ready
Half 6 is also a really early bedtime, is there a reason you’re doing this now?

Sorry clicked send too soon. Just go and hold your baby. You don’t need to do this to her, it’s not necessary and there’s a good chance you’ll make her more scared to be alone like this not happier to go to sleep.

I cuddled my babies to sleep every night until they were old enough to fall asleep on their own... eldest started reading books to herself at bedtime at about 6 yrs, so after a quick cuddle she now reads and turns her light out when she's ready to sleep, youngest is 5yrs and I still cuddle her to sleep every night, she's much more tactile and I think will need some physical presence to fall asleep for a while longer... I absolutely wouldn't change a thing, they are both extremely independent, confident, loving children. Imagine, being a defenceless, dependant, falling to sleep out of pure exhaustion in a destressing state every night, until you eventually learn that trying to get your caregivers attention doesn't work, so you just start falling asleep without trying to seek comfort as you know it's your only option. Your caregivers aren't going to come to your calls, so you just have to fall asleep, even if you're scared, in pain, worried about something, or just seeking some physical presence or interaction at the end of a long day.

Your baby is distressed. A child doesnt learn to relax and sleep this way. Go get her.

We still cuddle 3.5yo DD to sleep. It's a lovely calm way to end the day. Stories, cuddles and chat and she drifts off. Now DD2 is here one of us tends to do DD1's bedtime while the other looks after the baby but I've done it solo when DH has been away and we managed fine.