Bed sharing/co-sleeping

[CucumberCool]

How do you do it?

With your partner in bed too? Where does little go? In the middle between you?
What do you do about covers/duvet?

How do you ensure your little doesn't roll out of bed?

My little is 5 months and over the hot weather has started only sleeping when fed to sleep when I'm laying next to her. It's lovely close way to feed and sleep. But ive only sleep like this over two nights and I wasnt confident, quite broken sleep as I couldn't relax.

I fortunately have a king sized bed but she takes up one side and I'm on the other. My partner doesn't want to move her so doesn't sleep in with us. (He has another bed to sleep in!).

I put up a bolster cushion as she rolls alot and wriggles in the night. This however will not stop her, only slow her/provide some cushioning if she does fall (I hope!).

The other thing is partner takes strong painkillers at night (has done for a long time) and is a relatively deep sleeper. He does occasionally flail also...

Just wondering how others actually do it!

There’s safe sleeping guidance online. Lullaby trust I think it’s called.

Thanks, i know it and read it several times. Id like some practical experiences if possible...

I co-slept for the first 13 months, feeding through the night if he seemed restless. It was too warm with 3 of us in the bed so DH mostly slept in spare room during this time.

At the time I really didn't mind and loved having him close but after finally moving him into his own cot and room I realised just how broken my sleep had been.

Since we moved him into his own room (over a year ago now) he has not bed shared with us since.

It's hard going, especially when they start moving more and you worry they might roll off the bed. We put a mesh bed guard on one side and I slept on the other to reduce the chances of falling out the bed.

You say he’s not in with you but then that he flails and is a deep sleeper, which isn’t a problem if he’s not in the bed with you. As you’ve read the advice you’ll know that it’s not at all safe for a baby to share a bed with an adult who’s on strong medication so making sure he’s in a different bed is essential. If he’s not then you can’t have her in with you.

With a big bed you and she can both sleep in the middle and she’ll have plenty of space to move without falling out.

I’ve found the lullaby trust info practical and useful, what is it you want advice on? Happy to help if I can but not sure what you’re after.

I’ve co slept for 17 months so far, not really planned but how things worked out! My DH only slept in with us for the first couple of weeks, baby on outside of me asleep in a ‘c’ shape as I slept on my side, no blanket or duvet and only one pillow very carefully placed. The bigger he got and more he moved the more space he needed and gradually DH just moved into the spare bed so we could all sleep. I definitely wouldn’t put him in the middle of us and wouldn’t share at all if one of us was on medication or drinking which can affect awareness.

I don't know what current advice is.
We years ago we co slept by taking down our bed and putting the mattress on the floor, we put a single mattress next to it.

Do people sleep in a sleeping bag or nothing covering you?

Just curious if others do have their partner in bed with them too.
Fully aware it's not advisable in my case. I guess I gave tmi in my post!

Also wondered what practical solutions people had to stop babies rolling out.

No partner in bed and sleep on the furthest side then he has plenty of room before he’d fall out (we also effectively used the next to me cot he refused to sleep in as a barrier on that side) put pillows on the floor either side just in case. My LO basically slept on my arm for months or I hooked an arm or leg around him so I’d feel if he moved too far. Slept with no blanket for a long time but now tuck it around my lower half but nowhere near LO.

DD (11 months) moves around too much for partner to be in bed, she’s so small I don’t know why she demands so much space 🙄

But a drugged up partner is asking for trouble imo. You don’t need him there, do you? Nothing is worth the risk of him potentially rolling on top of the baby.

We only cosleep if DD wakes and won’t go back down in her own cot. I find I don’t deeply sleep so as soon as she even shuffles I wake up. No bumpers, just pillows on the floor 😂 but we have a very low bed so if she were to roll of there’s not far to go. I do use a thin blanket but I tuck it right in to me on the side she is on so both “ends” are behind me if that makes sense? It’s not recommended like. I use pillows but I keep her away from them. If she was in a sleeping bag I would also try and lay my leg over a corner or something so I would feel it tug if she moved.

DP is in the process of redecorating and making a floor bed for us all to sleep in which will be loads safer and bigger so we can all sleep together. If either of us were to have a drink / smoke / medication we would use the spare room though.

I exclusively co-slept for about 13/14 months, now baby is in a cot but still comes in with me at about 4am. She is now 18 months.

The more mobile they get the more concerning it is regarding falling out etc.

When she was smaller I would have her on one side of me, partner on the other so not in between us - would just be too hot, plus he is a deeper sleeper than me and was scared that she would be squished.

Now he has been kicked out & me and DD share the bed.

I have co-slept with both my children. Youngest is almost 1. I use this: www.argos.co.uk/product/4631640 as he fell out of bed once (he's a thrasher). I do the c-shape and just have a sheet over my lower half but not on him. I sleep with a pillow but it's nowhere near him. I don't move in my sleep, neither does DH.

We always used sheets and blankets as quilts were a no go. I used to dream feed DC and so they would end up v close to me. I was worried that sleeping bags would lead to overheating. We pushed the single mattress against the wall.
It was the most beautiful of interior arrangements, but it was practical and cosy. Brings bag fond ( probably rose tinted) memory's

We had a bed guard on one side, me on the other. Partner in a different room. One pillow for me, a bedsheet as a cover for my legs and wore a cardigan for top part if chilly, baby in sleeping bag. Miss those days now they have gone.

Oh, and I didn't tell many people in real life because I couldn't be bothered hearing them tell me that I was doing everything wrong 😉

Just one of us sleeps our son at once, we never drink and sleep with him and we use a 1 tog single duvet (very thin) and keep it well away from him. Dress him in only a vest during summer as it's warm anyways and he will always have body heat and worst case scenario would maybe end up with a 1 tog duvet on him. We use a pillow but that's out of his way.
We are on an ikea floor bed. He still quite often falls out but we have a totter and tumble play mat for him to land on and sometimes he doesn't even wake up when he falls. Sometimes he screams but he's fine straight after.
We don't worry so much about the whole C shape thing and we are willing to roll away from him now that he's a bit older (13months)

DD slept in the snuzpod happily through the night until 6 months and then wouldn’t sleep without me since! Nearly 10 months now & we co sleep.

king bed against the wall & me on the outside so she can’t fall out. The small gap is plugged by pillows so she couldn’t possibly fall down it.

I do use a duvet and pillow, but the duvet is only on me a little and the rest falls out the bed onto the floor. So the weight of it means it only stays on me if I’m holding it and it couldn’t roll onto her it that makes sense?

my husband sleeps in with us sometimes, it’s a tight squeeze and we all get more sleep if he doesn’t! For our family we do whatever gets us the most sleep and whenever people ask about the cot I just repeat ‘it gets us the most sleep and it works for our family, if it stops working we will change it’.

I was nervous at the start, but I’m a light sleeper anyway and actually really enjoy it now!

I still co-sleep with my now 5 year old but that's a different thread! Back then my partner would sleep in another room. I would put her in her sleeping bag on top of bed sheet and I would be underneath covers. She was in middle of bed and I was on the edge. I would sleep with my arm around her so that I was aware if she rolled and because at that time she would often wake up choking (tongue tie). I have to say I really hurt my arm doing this and for a long time couldn't bend my elbow properly. I would also get cold as I had to keep covers away from her. I sleep very lightly which helps from a safety aspect. I didn't drink at all when co sleeping with her as a baby as I was paranoid about rolling over her. I followed lullaby trust guidelines at that time.

where Do the little ones go ?
our house the littlest 3 are 16, 12 and 11. Usually there’s at least 2 of the 3 in with us watching tv then conveniently falling asleep 🤦‍♀️

Thanks for sharing your experiences guys!

Interesting how many sleep without a sheet or cover over your top half or at all! Also sounds like most partners sleep elsewhere too.

The times I have shared my bed with little I used a sheet and had her on top and me under. I also didn't touch her in her sleep, so no way the sheet could cover her face.

Obvs my partner is not in the bed with us.

Having said co-sleeping is the one thing we would never do my DD decided at 11 weeks it was the only way she would sleep for more than 30mins so for sanity's sake we did.
We have a king size bed but my partner is a big guy so takes up his whole side. We don't have another bed he could sleep in so we just made do the best we could.
She slept between us, if she was on the side she would have fallen out. We kept covers to our waist level which meant at most her feet were covered.
I tried to sleep so that she was on her back with me on my side round her like shown on the lullaby trust guidelines. Unfortunately DD is a stubborn pickle who decided she would only sleep on her side in complete contact (head to toe) with me! So either we both slept on our sides facing each other or I slept on my back with her tucked into my side.
Completely not in line with the guidance but as I always said DD apparently has not read the guidelines! It made me very nervous but both she and I had to sleep so we did it.
Thankfully now at 5.5m she is now accepting being in her cot- something we have blocked out the end of this week and weekend to work on. Last night she spent the whole night in her cot for the first time! And I didn't have to go in too often.

Mattress on the floor but from 18 months you can move to a real bed with bed guard although this is more practical around 2 years. In this weather I would use a single sheet over both you and baby.

Daddy slept in another room as there is no point in us both being knackered. When she/they got older (coslept with 2 children 3 years apart) we would alternate which parent slept with the child.

How did you start the process? I'm desperate to get mine back in the cot

Sleep on a mattress on the floor in the baby's room. Buy a basic junior bed from ikea, cut the legs off and hey presto they have a bed that is identical to current set up. That's how I did it. Worked wonders and means no worrying about rolling off the bed.

As for how to keep warm, wear a hoody in the winter, or a Cardi. Always keep the blankets at rib heigh or lower and have little one opposite you.

@Tabitha888
We have always put her down in her cot at the beginning of the night- mostly she wouldn't last more than 30mins but gradually that has increased to a couple of hours so I guess she started the process herself!
We decided to do some sleep training with controlled crying but actually we really haven't had any crying at night as the only time she has woken properly has been when she is due a bottle (still has 2 a night)- it's like she decided it was time at the same time we did! 😂
Naps however are very hit and miss