6 month baby girl.. trying to get her to sleep 7-7 with controlled crying

[SimonTheDad]

So.. here is the story.. we have a 6 month girl who has never really slept well. Here routine until this week:

wake 8-9am
feed
nap on/off untili 11am
feed
various feeds/45 min naps throughout the day awake 2hrs nap 45
right up until 10:30 then feed and sleep
various waking in the night

she has only slep through twice and typically wakes 3-4 times often just for a dummy replacement.

This week we started her on a more structured routine. We tried EASY and are essentially following it. Although she hates the PU/PD. The PU particularly drives her crazy with crying so there is no PD. So we have adapted it to controlled crying but with the EASY sched.

Day 5.. usual bed at 6:15 and crying on/off until currently 8:10 probably until 9 and a breast feed. She has learnt to roll over in her cot (progress for her motor skills) but i think that is mainly as she knows we come to arrange her when she gets all out of shape. She hates having the light off so we have some dim lighting in there. Ermm.. what else.. she is trying to sleep but just cannot.. we are entering her room every 10 minutes and giving light petting and replacing a dummy.

Any advice welcome.. its haaaaaardddd!!!

Oh.. she seems her usual happy self in the day.. but cannot sleep beyond 45 mins in the day so guess what.. its more controllded crying EASY PEASY during the day too... phewwww

i don't think you've understood what cluster feeding is.

it's feeding on and off for AGES. my dd would get the tired signs you see in your dd at around 6 or 6.30, then she'd lay on my lap, in the living room while i'd watch tv, feeding and dozing for between 2 and 3 hours. perfectly normal and fine.

she'd then wake every 3 hours for a feed, 12am, 3am then 6am. at the 6am i'd put her in bed with me (dh would be up for work at this point) and we'd doze until 9am when we'd get up for 'breakfast.' then again she'd feed at 12pm, 3pm and 6pm start to cluster feed.

gradually these feeds all got further apart, and the cluster feeding got less and less. so she'd feed at 6pm, then be ready for bed by 7pm, sleeping through to say, 3am.

IMVHO you are trying too too hard to 'solve' your baby. she doesn't need 'solving.' you're tiring yourself out by all this reading and thinking and working out the problem. as soon as you THINK you've 'solved' it, something else will need solving, she'll get ill, be teething, you'll go on holiday, whatever.

however, i guess you don't want to hear that. what is your day job?

Good stuff, Simon!!

Stick to your guns - it seems to be working!

Keep us posted on how things are going,
you asked for support, support you'll get

What you are doing at the moment is the hardest bit, Simon.

Once you have established a positive routine
with everyone getting a full night's sleep
the other things like teething and illness
become a lot more manageable.

Oh...well done you! It seems to be working! Stick with it because I assure you it IS worth it and as for babies going through different stages and this having an impact on their sleep, I have to say I have not experienced this. Even when my dd was ill (heavy cold) she still slept. She is nearly one and I can honestly say that even teething has not disturbed her sleep....so keep going....you will thank god that you did!!!!

Simon,

If you have the energy have a look at this:

Infant sleep habits are learned early

Reasons why your baby won't sleep

Here's to a good night's sleep

or another way to get a good nights sleep
//www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp//

i like this one too
www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070200.asp

Or even try

BEHAVINGSOMESUCCES.co.ok

Bugger that came out wrong....try

www.keepdoingwhatyouaredoingcosyouseemtobehavingsomesuccess.co.uk

cluster feeding is not the answer for sleeping problems. you seem to have found the solution for your problem simon, well done!

Day 4/5 (cannot exactly remember)

Bed at 6:45 (very sleepy.. rubbing eyes etc.
She slept until 9:45
-->HOW? Mummy sat with her for 1.5 hrs watching her behvaiour.. she appears to jolt awake after 30/45 mins.. so we are now making sure we are present so we can hold her head, dummy and legs every 30 minutes.. result.. happy sleep.
She woke at 9 and cried.. I stayed with her for 45 minutes soothed with hands on head and stomach.. then lay hands for 30 minutes while she slept.
10:00 dream feed
10:25 sleep
3:40 feed
4 sleep
6 awake for the day
7:30 back to sleep.. with helper in room
9 awake (after some jolting but sleeping through)

So.. we are having some sucess.. its not exactly CC anymore but more an adapatation fo EASY and wake to sleep.. it seems to be working for her better.. the aim is to wean her from the assisting sleeping hands on approach in the next weeks, hoefully we are teaching her settling skills at the momement that she can do later on her own.

Thats its so far

Simon - It sounds like things are going well for you. I just thought i might add a point about day naps (which might help with the nights) My 6 month old has only just stopped needing quite so much sleep in the day, and now manages on 2 naps (of varying lengths) one in the morning (2-3 hours after waking) and one in the afternoon (waking no later than 5pm) with bedtime somewhere between 7-7.30pm.

I think if you can stretch the time your DD is awake in the morning it might help her sleep until a bit later - it sounds like from what you have said in your last post that her nap at 7.30am is actually the last chunk of her nighttime sleep that has kind of "detached" itself. This is quite common, especially when their day sleep requirements change as they develop.

Just a thought anyway

I'm really pleased you're getting somewhere Simon.

I think a lot of the argument on this thread arose because the title suggests that you're expecting a 6 month old to sleep an uninterrupted 12 hour stretch every night. Of course, some people will tell you they got their child to do that by doing x, y or z but in reality I suspect they are just lucky . I could tell you I got my child to sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time by breastfeeding him every 45 minutes but then you might not believe me or want to do the same

It's a shame that those of us who are urging you to enjoy her babyhood are dismissed as the "Suffer. It's what I did" crew. I'm sure the mumsnet philosophy says something about learning through shared experience ... and you did post asking for help ... [shrug]

Excellent!

I suspect you are still knackered but it sounds like
you are moving in the right direction, at your own pace.

A routine is really one of the most useful concepts but
it does take a little while to put in place.

Have a good weekend and keep us posted

glad you have found she is settling better with you being there for her, stroking her, patting her, shushing her etc. at this age it's important they feel secure and it seems that it is exactly how you are making her feel. good luck and well done for getting this far

INFORMATION UPDATE

Little one is now sleeping 6:30 until 10:15pm... dream feed.. then asleep very soon after.. until 4 breakfast night feed.. then up at 6 for her day.

Now its not like she does it all on her own.. for 2 nights and days we held a vigil by her cot side. This would involve us staying in the room during naps for 1.5 hrs and when she is disturbed putting our hands on her quickly so that she can go back to sleep without crying if much fuss. At night we do the same from 6:30 until 9:30, although she is getting much better at settling herself now. We stopped the CC as it was not really working for her and 2hrs of crying is just to much for her and us. She seems to be responding well to the vigil in the baby room.

So its now the third night since we started the vigil method and it seems to work.. she is getting much more equiped for sleeping on her own. She can now nap (with some help for 1:45 mins in the day) she can now sleep with us only coming up when we notice a distrubance from 6:30-10:30.. its early days but seems to be working.. and we did not need the controlled crying thank God.

Good stuff, Simon. It is difficult, isn't it? On the one hand there's all the stuff saying "Oh, if you're in the room with them they'll never learn to sleep without you", and then there are some babies who do settle much better if left on their own. Yours sounds maybe a bit like mine - she gains confidence from not being left, and so associates bedtime with comfort and Mummy and Daddy, so just keeps those good associations as we reduce the time spent with her. Hope it continues. But if it does go through blips, don't panic - all sorts of things can set it off, and you think "we will all never sleep again". Sometimes you just need to restart the process for a few days to settle things down, or make adjustments to routine to go with her developmental stage. Good luck!