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Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

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Original poster

6 month baby girl.. trying to get her to sleep 7-7 with controlled crying

168 replies

SimonTheDad · 17/01/2008 20:13

So.. here is the story.. we have a 6 month girl who has never really slept well. Here routine until this week:

wake 8-9am
feed
nap on/off untili 11am
feed
various feeds/45 min naps throughout the day awake 2hrs nap 45
right up until 10:30 then feed and sleep
various waking in the night

she has only slep through twice and typically wakes 3-4 times often just for a dummy replacement.

This week we started her on a more structured routine. We tried EASY and are essentially following it. Although she hates the PU/PD. The PU particularly drives her crazy with crying so there is no PD. So we have adapted it to controlled crying but with the EASY sched.

Day 5.. usual bed at 6:15 and crying on/off until currently 8:10 probably until 9 and a breast feed. She has learnt to roll over in her cot (progress for her motor skills) but i think that is mainly as she knows we come to arrange her when she gets all out of shape. She hates having the light off so we have some dim lighting in there. Ermm.. what else.. she is trying to sleep but just cannot.. we are entering her room every 10 minutes and giving light petting and replacing a dummy.

Any advice welcome.. its haaaaaardddd!!!

Oh.. she seems her usual happy self in the day.. but cannot sleep beyond 45 mins in the day so guess what.. its more controllded crying EASY PEASY during the day too... phewwww

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Original poster

SimonTheDad · 17/01/2008 21:54

okay gnight all.. thnx for chatting

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 17/01/2008 21:54

Tipex - I seriously doubt it would be dangerous or even bad advice, as I heard if from a paediatrician whose diplomas I actually saw (as opposed to yourself - no offense).

Assuming for one second that you are right and 6 month old babies have a physical need to feed at night, the sleep training would not work and they would not sleep through after a couple of nights. Yet the vast majority do. [And for the rest, we don't know if it really was a need, or if the parents didn't follow through, or if the baby had another problem.]

LadyJogsAlot · 17/01/2008 21:54

she WILL get it but you must be consistent.

put her down, leave her to cry, go in as often as you feel comfortable with.

do it for a couple of weeks and if she hasn't improved then maybe it's too soon for her.

Tipex · 17/01/2008 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 17/01/2008 22:04

She's a baby. Babies cry. It's what they do. Parents are tired - it goes with the job. If you live to be 75, the few months you spend being tired because you are attending to the needs of your baby amount to about a eightieth of your life - not very long if you think about it. Certainly if you're anything like me much less than the time you spent being tired because you'd been up partying the night before! Before you know it, she'll be grown up and away - cherish her babydom. Oh, and if she falls asleep with you in the living room, who says it has to be dark and TV free? Can't she fall asleep on your lap while you watch Eastenders?

Oh again, a LOT of babies are not ready to give up night feeds at 6 months and are genuinely hungry.

seeker · 17/01/2008 22:08

"she WILL get it but you must be consistent.

put her down, leave her to cry, go in as often as you feel comfortable with.

do it for a couple of weeks and if she hasn't improved then maybe it's too soon for her."

So you find out it's too soon for her by a couple of weeks of experimentation?.......!And just what has been going on in her mind and psyche during that two weeks?

HeppyChick · 17/01/2008 22:09

I couldn't bear to leave my 10 month old to cry, why do you think the baby is crying? I echo Desi's comment - Fuck me!

CoteDAzur · 17/01/2008 22:09

Tipex - Obviously we are not talking about premature babies, or underweight babies. We are not talking about sick babies or those born with abnormally small stomachs.

We are talking about normal babies. And how they don't have a physical need to feed in the middle of the night.

If you are really a paediatrician, you would know that the vast majority of 6 month old babies whose night feeds stop sleep through the night after a few nights. Ergo, it was not a need, it was a habit that was lost.

ThingFish · 17/01/2008 22:11

ummm... seeker, the op asked for advice about cc which i gave. i'm not saying it's right for everyone

tbh, i'm not going around telling all you non-cc parents to agree with me, do things my way, or trying to prove you wrong so why do you to me?

ThingFish · 17/01/2008 22:11

i am ladyjogsalot btw!

sherby · 17/01/2008 22:12

ThingFish, but it sounded like he was asked for help with CC because he didn't realise there was another way to do things, which other posters have tried to explain to him

LadyJogsAlotAlsoThingFish · 17/01/2008 22:18

no i think there's loads of great advice here for people who don't want to cc and i have no problem with that.

it's just that seeker's comment:

"So you find out it's too soon for her by a couple of weeks of experimentation?.......!And just what has been going on in her mind and psyche during that two weeks?"

felt a bit harsh.

if you don't agree with what i do then post what you do rather than tell me my ideas are crap.

seeker · 17/01/2008 22:28

I didn't say your ideas were crap - I questioned them.

The guy who dreamed up controlled crying recommended it for babies from 12 months. I question whether it's a good idea to find out if a baby 6 months younger is going to respond to the system by letting her cry every night for two weeks.

LadyThingFishAlot · 17/01/2008 22:36

the thing is that there are lots of excellent theories about which you can use and adapt them to suit your needs.

i am not a fan of letting a baby cry and cry for hours on end.

with ds, the first night he cried on and off for 15 mins before falling asleep. after 2 weeks it was about 30 secs. i guess he was ready for that approach (he was 5 and a half months btw).

you do have to give it time though. it'd be worse to leave the baby to cry one night and pick it up the next. confuse the poor mite.

there are too many people on here who are too quick to rubbish other people's ideas just because it doesn't sit with them.

i'm not someone who wants my baby to fall asleep in the front room watching tv with me, or to co sleep, or to go and rock the baby to sleep for half an hour because that's the only way i have TAUGHT her to go to sleep.

although i don't agree with baby training as such, i do think you can give a baby the skills it needs to go to sleep by itself without it being too traumatic.

LadyThingFishAlot · 17/01/2008 22:38

oh btw, i don't think there is anything wrong with letting your baby fall asleep in the front room watching tv with you, or to co sleep, or to go and rock the baby to sleep for half an hour. whatever works for you.

Original poster

SimonTheDad · 18/01/2008 06:30

"i don't think there is anything wrong with letting your baby fall asleep in the front room watching tv with you, or to co sleep, or to go and rock the baby to sleep for half an hour. whatever works for you."

Me neither its just not always practical, and once it becomes an established method or the only known method then it is problematic.

UPDATE:
Day 5.... bed at 6:30.. cried on/off until 8:30.. slept until 10 (no cluster feed at 9).. dream feed.. slept until 4:30 (fed) slept until 6:30.. up / fed and all smiles (although i thought her mutter the wors 'like hitler' whist i was changer her but i could be wrong).

OP posts:

FlllightAttendant · 18/01/2008 06:46

I wouldn't try and control her at all in the sleep department. It is like making a rod for your own back. But that's not directly helpful so I'll shove off

sherby · 18/01/2008 07:59

I still don't get why you are trying to put her to bed at 6.30 when she is obviously not tired until 8.30? Your just making work for yourself

LIZS · 18/01/2008 08:05

Does she have to go 7 -7? tbh I'd focus on getting her through from 8.30 until morning(which may well not be 7am!) , then try to bring bedtime forward. Think you're trying to do too much at once.

nappyaddict · 18/01/2008 08:05

simon i urge you to read this

Original poster

SimonTheDad · 18/01/2008 08:21

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1963899.stm

OP posts:

Original poster

SimonTheDad · 18/01/2008 08:23

"Does she have to go 7 -7? tbh I'd focus on getting her through from 8.30 until morning"

nope. she does not necessarily need 7-7 6-6 9.3-9.3 or any other 12 hr blocks.. it is however a text book starting point for our introducing the idea of 'sleeping the night'

OP posts:

Original poster

SimonTheDad · 18/01/2008 08:25

"I still don't get why you are trying to put her to bed at 6.30 when she is obviously not tired until 8.30? Your just making work for yourself"

why send kids to school when they would clearly rather be at home.. seriously.. she likes 9 because its what she is used to , its not some inate magic number for her.

OP posts:

Original poster

SimonTheDad · 18/01/2008 08:29

"I still don't get why you are trying to put her to bed at 6.30 when she is obviously not tired until 8.30? Your just making work for yourself"

also she is tired at 6.3.. she rubs her eyes.. yawns.. shows all the signs.. she just does not know how to fall asleep in her cot alone yet.

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 18/01/2008 08:31

hmmm "Mothers who learn to let their babies cry themselves to sleep have better nights and suffer less postnatal depression, research suggests"

Yes cos being upset at leaving a baby to cry is reeeeeally going to help with PND if you have it. I don't see how it can prevent you getting PND cos most people will have already developed PND if they are going to by the time you start cc.

"Mothers who were not getting enough sleep tended to become more stressed and suffer more from mental health problems, she said."

This i totally agree with but "she stressed there were other ways of dealing with sleep problems and said she advocated the child sleeping with its parent" - cc isn't the only way forward for everyone getting a better night's sleep.

Yes, it might work in getting your baby to sleep through the night, but at what cost? From sears' research we can see it is rather a large cost and imo the ends do not justify the means. i would rather have a non-sleeping baby than a depressed one that's for sure.

Have you thought about using the baby whisperer method - it's much more gentle.

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