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Sleep

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Original poster

10 week old awful sleep

28 replies

seaswim33 · 10/12/2021 12:43

Hi guys, really need some advice.
In a FTM with a 10 week old baby. Her sleep is awful. At the moment she has a cold and suspected silent reflux. She had a TT diagnosed late which was cut a week ago. She had her first jabs a few days ago. So a lot going on! We have tried gavisgon which was prescribed buy the GP but it made her more uncomfortable and a pain to give as I'm EBF. At night she tends to have a nap untill 5/6 then is really unsettled and cried all evening. We give her two feeds one usually around 7 and one at 9 and she often then falls asleep and we transfer her to the side cot. Now what happens next is very variable. She has at times done 4 hours but lately she just wakes very soon after and won't go back in. I then chuck my partner out of bed and co sleep which I hate doing. I then feed often to resettle her but often lying down and I think this might then make the reflux worse... I'm barely sleeping and I thought things would be easier by now. I'm not expecting sleeping through by any means but just staying in the cot all night with a few feeds. I actually don't mind waking up to feed and find it quite magical but at the moment it's just not working! Should I stop feeding to sleep? Should I try and put her down earlier? Any tips on a coldy refluxy baby?

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Original poster

seaswim33 · 11/12/2021 13:00

Any help out there? I'm desperate, I didn't sleep at all last night.

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Tashyyy4 · 11/12/2021 13:19

Hi there, I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I have a nearly 5 month old and she most of the time wakes once a night and she sleeps in a cot next to me. I do know they like things to be similar timing each day, so I feed her at 6.30pmish and put her down to bed around 7 with the aim to get her up for the day from atleast between 6 to 7am. Feeding to sleep is up to you, I feed her just about to sleep before bed but before naps I feed her within an hour of her waking and not to sleep before the next nap, I just use a dummy and she's not fully asleep when I put her down but this took alot of practice.
Bi know my first bub who is now a toddler acted very unsettled in the evening it is quite common but it normally settles after a few months but he didn't have reflux. Have you researched what makes reflux worse? I once fed my bub lying down and she power chucked after and when I rung the baby care hotline she said lying down was the worst thing to do so I probably wouldn't do it any more.
Sorry not much help really! I don't have alot of experience with a reflux baby if that is definitely what she has.

MrTumblesEyebrows · 11/12/2021 13:26

That sounds like really hard work! It's up to you about feeding to sleep. I fed my daughter to sleep until she was 10 months because it was a nice way to end the day.

Could you try dream feeding her so she doesn't wake up and therefore doesn't need to settle back to sleep? I found that helped my little girl sleep for longer

Original poster

seaswim33 · 11/12/2021 14:03

Thanks both. When the baby wakes do you advise feeding to sleep then? It's all I know but feel it's a bad habit. Or do I get up and rock her (the only other way that works but takes ages)?

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MrTumblesEyebrows · 11/12/2021 14:13

My motto is "it's only a problem if it's a problem for you"

I fed my daughter to sleep for ages. She liked it and I liked it. When I started to want more freedom from always having to be the one to put her down, I weaned her from feeds for naps and then finally feeding to sleep at bedtime. At this stage you have to do what you need to do so you all get enough sleep. If you're happy feeding to sleep, keep going. If you want to stop, stop.

Everyone has opinions but you're the one dealing with a grumpy baby in the middle of the night!

Try dream feeding first, where you feed her while she's asleep at around the time she'd usually wake up so she doesn't wake, then she won't have to settle back to sleep again and you might get a bit longer. Could she be napping too late in the afternoon? She might be in a nap transition. Plus around 4 months they have a sleep regression anyway. It never ends but you're doing a great job. This too will pass 😊

Original poster

seaswim33 · 11/12/2021 14:22

I don't think dream feeding will work, she is such a light sleeper especially with this cold. I'm so so lost and extremely exhausted, I'm so at this.

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FATEdestiny · 11/12/2021 15:54

A dummy will help. It allows for comfort sucking without feeding.

Some babies take a while to get used to a dummy, but it is without doubt worth persevering with.

Tashyyy4 · 12/12/2021 08:05

Are you following wake windows? Look up appropriate wake windows for your babies age, any longer and they are harder to get to sleep due to stress hormones from being awake too long.
Also I have found if you transfer after they are asleep then if they stir they will be like hang on why am I waking up in a different spot, so try to get her used to going to sleep in the bassinet I know it might take a bit but we'll worth it down the track.
Dream feeds are recommended more for above 4 months, not all take to it, my son didn't.

cherrytopcake · 12/12/2021 21:52

Hi OP, I'm in the exact same boat as you. You're not alone, I know how exhausting it is... I'm afraid I don't have any practical advice. I exclusively breastfed my first born and fed her to sleep until approx 10 months I think. Eventually it stopped working for me as I was exhausted feeding her back to sleep when she was just waking multiple times in the night for a comfort feed (not hunger at this point). I also wanted my evenings back and to be able to put her down awake and walk out the room... We had gotten into a bad habit that was only broken by controlled crying I'm afraid. She would have kept the status quo for ever if I hadn't put a stop to it, she persevered for 2 weeks. It was very hard but totally worth it.

I'm in similar situation as you are in now with my second child who is nearly 5 weeks old... doesn't do more than 2 hours when we initially put her down around 11pm. Then she's awake for 2 hours and we're stuck in a cycle of feeding, napping changing, burping, helping her fart... then she wants a feed again and we're back to square one. Feel like we're going around in circles. If I try to simply put her down after her first wake/feed, she cries, grunts, strains etc and doesn't resettle. We HAVE to burp, wind her etc or it's just worse but this means we're up for ages and ages with her. I also think she has silent reflux, she's very windy, straining constantly (all night). Grunting etc etc... I feel like her sleep is getting worse and she's spending less and less time in the cot. So then started co sleeping with me and even that doesn't seem to be working now. Very unsettled in my bed - whether I feed sitting up or lying down. She takes in loads of air and seems in pain afterwards and needs a lot of help burping. All this meaning she's basically impossible to put down. All this doesn't help you I know but struggling here too and at a loss about what to do. Looking back with my first born, the thought that I just fed her back to sleep and put her down was a total breeze and the least of my worries!

As of today we've bought our first dummy because she is just so unsettled and unhappy - haven't used one before, but really hoping she will take to it. We're desperate. Suspect it won't be easy either. Nothing is. Re the night feeds I do keep her up right on my shoulder for 15mins or so to help with the reflux/burping after the feed, don't know if that makes a difference. I then wait for her to go into deep sleep on me (which can take two three attempts) before finally being able to put her down in the cot or in bed next to me... but only for an hour to an hour and a half before we start all over again.

Good luck, this won't last forever. Try not to dwell too much on the bad nights.
Sorry you're going through this. You're not alone in these sleepless night

cherrytopcake · 12/12/2021 21:57

Also, don't know if you do this already but I keep lights off during the night so she doesn't become "too awake". Leave the bedroom door ajar with the hall light on so just enough light to see what I'm doing but remaining in the dark (put light on for a nappy change obvs).

Indecisivelurcher · 12/12/2021 21:59

Mine are 7 & 4 now, with the power of that hindsight you're still in the stage of do whatever you need to do to get through it. Sorry. Sleep deprivation is the worst. For now, I would honestly just do whatever works and deal with the consequences down the line. If feeding to sleep is a bad habit, sorry but rocking is too and can be a very hard habit to break. I wouldn't say bottle feeding will be any help other than your partner being able to share the load more, but as a flip side you lose the ability to breast feed for comfort. Once you get to 4 months they can often have a sleep regression so imo there's not much point trying to resolve anything until you're past that age. Perhaps try to put baby down awake in the day when it's less critical. But just do whatever works at night. Sending caffeine

Amammai · 12/12/2021 22:00

A cold and reflux will be making it all worse. Keep her upright as much as possible. Is the reflux linked to her cold? My DS brings up his feeds so violently when he has a cold but is otherwise fine! Saline

Sleep at 10 weeks is unpredictable and baby will still want to be mostly on you too. Feeding to sleep is completely normal and natural- it’s why it works so well! It is not creating a rod for your own back- it gets them back to sleep so much quicker than rocking etc (I formula fed my first and BF my second and although my second wakes more frequently, I get him back to sleep so much quicker because I can feed to sleep!)
Follow Kathryn Stagg on FB/insta and Lynsey Hookway. Great info about normal sleep and BF habits.

Original poster

seaswim33 · 13/12/2021 15:32

Thanks all, surprisingly she did 9:30 - 4am last night!! I was in total shock. But the. I feed her and held her up for 20 mind and out her back in the cot and she woke again so I had to feed her again and bring her into bed.... I know this is a one off and prob won't happen again soon but I can only hope. Need her to be able to go back in the cot too!

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cherrytopcake · 13/12/2021 18:47

Oh that's a good stretch of sleep! Definitely a step in the right direction and hopefully you will see more of these in the next several weeks. If you want baby in the cot long term then keep trying to put her back as much as possible. Have mostly co slept with mine this week but she did a few hours in the cot two nights ago and last night she did the whole night there... so always worth a go. Does she a baby sleep bag?

cherrytopcake · 13/12/2021 18:48

And have you tried white noise ?

Original poster

seaswim33 · 13/12/2021 19:08

Yes to both! Yes I will keep persevering, I should probably wind her after the night feed and not just hold her upright but then would wake and not settle again.... Trying to get the GP to prescribe something better than Gavisgon for the reflux but they are being difficult. She chocked a little this morning! Fingers crossed for tonight!

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Original poster

seaswim33 · 13/12/2021 19:08

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StickyStickyStickStickSong · 13/12/2021 19:26

Hi OP
My DS has silent reflux and he is on Omeprazole which I think is similar to Gaviscon, I have to give it him first thing every morning, he's also on Carobel instant thickener which I put in his bottles to thicken the milk so it stays down and since he's been on these from 5 weeks old he's gotten progressively so much better. Before this, it was tough he would scream after feeds and arch his back and spit up a lot and it affected his sleep. I also have to hold him upright for 20-30 minutes after feeds too to prevent it coming back up and burning so you are doing the right things just keep at it and it will improve!
My only advice for helping with sleep has been said already by pp. I give my LO his dummy for bedtime so he associates it with sleeping and I find that when he cries out I just pop it in and it instantly settles him.
No 2 babies are the same but we went through a period from about 4 months - 7 months where he was sleeping 9pm-8am with no feeds and only 3-4 little unsettled episodes a night then it all went downhill with teething, cold and possible sleep regressions he ended up co sleeping with me for pretty much a month so that we could both get sleep. He's 9 months now and I'm trying to transition him into his room, it's tough but I'm just persevering and taking each night as it comes. It is what it is and I know it won't last forever.
You're not alone 😊 xx

Original poster

seaswim33 · 13/12/2021 19:38

I wish she would take a dummy but she just won't... @StickyStickyStickStickSong any tips on how to get them back in the cot after a night feed? Do you wind after holding up? And how did you get prescribed the omprazole? It's apparently a lot better than Gavisgon and More suitable for silent Reflux. My GP suggested I would need a referral which would take ages...

OP posts:

StickyStickyStickStickSong · 14/12/2021 07:43

@seaswim33

I wish she would take a dummy but she just won't... *@StickyStickyStickStickSong* any tips on how to get them back in the cot after a night feed? Do you wind after holding up? And how did you get prescribed the omprazole? It's apparently a lot better than Gavisgon and More suitable for silent Reflux. My GP suggested I would need a referral which would take ages...

@seaswim33 he was referred to paediatrician from my GP for something else, he was really poorly and I was BF at the time and GP couldn't work out what was wrong, then paediatrician referred him to a dietician and it was she who diagnosed him as being a primary lactose intolerant baby aswell as having silent reflux so she prescribed him the Omeprazole originally. When he falls asleep on bottle I find he doesn't burp even if I sit him up and Pat his back do I just keep him sat upright for half an hour before lying him down and he's alright then xx

Original poster

seaswim33 · 16/12/2021 15:02

Her sleep hasnt been great since that good night. Have now been given omprazole so hopefully that will help her, However first dose was yesterday and she's been awful today. It's so hard! @StickyStickyStickStickSong how long did it take for it to work for you?

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StickyStickyStickStickSong · 16/12/2021 16:05

@seaswim33

Her sleep hasnt been great since that good night. Have now been given omprazole so hopefully that will help her, However first dose was yesterday and she's been awful today. It's so hard! *@StickyStickyStickStickSong* how long did it take for it to work for you?

@seaswim33 you should see a difference after about 2-3 days once it's in her system properly

Hellohello8910 · 31/12/2021 11:37

@StickyStickyStickStickSong how is your bubba doing on the omprazole now? We’re experiencing the same with our 4wo and I’m at a loss as to what to do!

thingymaboob · 11/04/2022 05:09

Just came across this thread. How did things pan out @seaswim33 ?

Original poster

seaswim33 · 11/04/2022 08:26

Hi @thingymaboob its so much better now. She was prescribed omeprazole for the reflux but actually we've stopped that now. She sleeps well at night, sometimes sleeping through, sometimes a couple of wakes. She no longer feeds in the night.

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