13 Month Old Night Wakings Driving Me Nuts

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imisscashmere · 07/12/2021 09:15

Could it be his teeth?

Original poster

n0shy · 07/12/2021 09:50

He's not been dribbling like he normally does when a tooth is bothering him and he's not chewing at things, he's not got his back teeth yet though, DS1 had all his teeth by 11 months!

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TinyDancer275 · 07/12/2021 20:03

Hi n0shy
This sounds a bit like what my daughter is doing. She is 2.
I end up lying in the cot , it soothes her a little but even then she wi toss, turn head bang stand up, scream, cry and be awake for hours even if I'm in there with her.

It's so strange that they don't even settle when we are there isn't it!

Original poster

n0shy · 07/12/2021 21:48

@TinyDancer275 it's crazy I just can't figure out what to do. Problem is I'm quite tall so my knees and hips start to hurt after about 20min! I'm going to keep telling myself it's just a phase and hopefully it stops because I really don't know what else to do. He does so we'll up untill around 11 and by 1 am he's up. I didn't get I to bed untill 6am today and the was up an hour later for school run!

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livinthedream1995 · 08/12/2021 00:23

Just came here to give my solidarity. My youngest was sleep trained at 8 months using a form of (very) gradual retreat and up until roughly 12 months, was a brill sleeper except when he was ill which is understandable obvs. Has gone down independently since 9 months. Since 12 months however, we go through these horrific phases where he is up for HOURS in the night, screams the second you leave him, happy as Larry when you’re there though. Actually thinks he’s hilarious and is raring to go. Bedsharing makes no difference, I end up just getting the hump cos he headbutts, scratches and pinches me and it doesn’t even reduce the amount of time he’s awake. I’ve mostly resorted to sending my eldest into my bed and laying in my eldests bed so I’m in the room with youngest but slightly more comfortable than just sitting on the floor. It’s been an ongoing issue for 5 months now, every time we think we’ve cracked it and fixed the issue, we get a period of good nights (anywhere from a few days to a few weeks) and then he reverts back to this. I’m due our 3rd next month, I’m effing exhausted, frustrated and frankly had enough. As I type now I’m laid in my eldests tiny mid sleeper bed, I first tried going to sleep 3 hours ago. I love the bones off of him, but my god I wish he would just sleep. Again, solidarity.

TinyDancer275 · 08/12/2021 01:52

@livinthedream1995 gosh that sounds so hard, especially with number 3 on the way too!!

Isn't it strange how they don't even settle when we are there- that's what I find really hard!
Because everyone's like oh just put them in with u ! And you eventually give in and then it just doesn't work anyway!!!

@n0shy I'm tall as well, 5.10 and I feel your pain!!!
When I'm in her cot I just can't sleep as I'm all crushed up and she moves about constantly anyway.

I did wonder of she had sensory needs of possible autism, due to the headbanging. She is also.fine in the day.
She woke before screaming, I went in and just couldn't comfort her. So ended up giving a bottle , came back.imto my room, but she's now screaming shouting mummy
Now head banging. It's so so hard.
It's exhausting!!!

Its nice at least to know that we are not on our own!!

TinyDancer275 · 08/12/2021 01:54

@livinthedream1995 really random.but just out of interest have you tried to get any help , like a sleep consultant?

I tried this months ago and pinned all my hopes on it, but then it just didn't work.
I said I wouldn't do it again, but now I'm desperate that I feel I may have to save up again!!

Hope you're both OK and tonight isn't as bad for you both x

TinyDancer275 · 08/12/2021 01:57

@n0shy that really does sound like torture, getting to bed at 6 am!
I've been coming back to my bed at 4.40, 5 ish and its just awful!!

Original poster

n0shy · 08/12/2021 10:10

My mantra has become it's just a phase lol I spoke to the health visitor and she said it's probably teething....that seems to be the response for everything! I think the headbanging might be out of frustration because they're still tired, my DS also pulls his ears but ear infection has been ruled out! I cant remember what a full night sleep feels like lol @livinthedream1995 that's such a tease when you get a few good night's and then they go back to waking up!

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InTheLabyrinth · 08/12/2021 10:18

I spent quite a lot of time of the floor of DS's room, with my hand through the bars when he was that age. I had every spare blanket and duvet we owned to make a makeshift bed that could be rolled up each morning. Can't imagine getting in the cot!
He would be awake for 1-3 am without fail for about, OK ill just say a while, cause you don't want to hear the actual number....

Caspianberg · 08/12/2021 10:28

I just bring Ds into our bed.

He was an awful sleeper until 12 ish months. Since then he goes to sleep in his cot whilst we sit on chair in room ( takes about 20 mins). And if he wakes sometimes he can be resettled, but otherwise I just bring into bed with me.
At least that way your in a comfier bed even if not sleeping.
He used to wake more like 4am and join us, but recently (now 19 months) he has been sleeping through until 5-7am. So it’s just time I think. If he wakes at 7am he just comes into our bed for a cuddle then we get up, if 5/6am we try to get him to doze another hour.

livinthedream1995 · 08/12/2021 10:51

@TinyDancer275 bedsharing hardly ever works for us, plus it’s not something I even want to do I just end up doing it out of desperation even though I know it won’t make the blindest bit of difference. I’ve been considering a sleep consultant, but they’re so much money and I suspect they’re not going to tell me anything I don’t already know you know? I’m wary of spending £££ on it and then like you said, it not work!!

HotMummaSummer · 09/12/2021 08:17

My daughter was sleeping through maybe 50% of nights from around 10 months, she is coming on the 16 months and has been sleep through less and less. This week she slept through Monday and Tuesday night and last night only woke once briefly and settled with a few pats on the back.
I spoke the the nursery and it turns out she's only been having 1 after lunch nap, no morning nap. Maybe you can try dropping a nap or moving it. A friend of mine has cut her son down to 1 nap and he's just turned 1.
DD has been more clingy and grumpy in the evening but I'll take it if she sleeps through

careerchangeperhaps · 09/12/2021 08:20

Is he cold? One of mine always needed considerably more layers than the safe sleep guides recommend. We ended up using a grobag-style sleeping bag from JoJo Maman Bebe that had padded arms. He slept much better in the winter when we made that change.

Original poster

n0shy · 09/12/2021 09:23

@careerchangeperhaps I had thought that initially but he doesn't like getting too warm, when I'm in the cot with him it doesn't feel cold

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Caspianberg · 09/12/2021 10:56

Yes cold could be it as well.
We ditched the sleeping bag around 6 weeks ago (18 ish months), and he’s been with toddler duvet and pillow and sleeps better.

careerchangeperhaps · 09/12/2021 11:45

[quote n0shy]@careerchangeperhaps I had thought that initially but he doesn't like getting too warm, when I'm in the cot with him it doesn't feel cold[/quote]
If you slip your hand down his vest and put it on his bare chest, he should feel quite toasty. If he's just a bit warm, then it might be the cold.

TinyDancer275 · 09/12/2021 18:44

@n0shy does your little one nap in the day?

Xx

Original poster

n0shy · 10/12/2021 10:18

@careerchangeperhaps I checked last night an put him in a cosy onsie and he was nice an warm, last night was tough he woke every hour from 10.30, @TinyDancer275 he naps for about an hour and a half to 2 hours

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TinyDancer275 · 10/12/2021 11:46

@n0shy @livinthedream1995 my little one slept through the other night, I couldnt believe it. I had put her down for her afternoon nap and she was just playing about, so I git her up and instead she had a 25 mins nap on way to and from school pick up.
Bed at 7 and I heard her about 5.30. I know that's 3arly but such an improvement on what had before. May b a fluke - but just wanted to share!!

Original poster

n0shy · 10/12/2021 12:54

Omg @TinyDancer275 that's fantastic thank you for the light at the end of the tunnel lol fingers crossed that it's the start of some proper sleeping! I'll try shortening his nap as sometimes he really fights his naps x keep us updated on your progress

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TinyDancer275 · 11/12/2021 07:25

Hi @n0shy so unfortunately last night it was back to the 3 hour waking, well actually it was 1.30 - 5 after just having a 30mins cat nap in the day

So I'm feeling a little ( a lot!) disheartened as had really got my hopes up. Ahhhh well.

Maybe I'll go back to giving her naps in the day then at least I get some peace!!

Hope your night wasn't as bad last night x

Original poster

n0shy · 11/12/2021 11:12

@TinyDancer275 maybe it's a test run the start of better days to come I've got covid at the moment feeling exhausted he's playing up alot more refused to go down himself last night it's like he knows!!!

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TinyDancer275 · 11/12/2021 15:38

@n0shy oh gosh, really feel for you, covid as well!!!
What a nightmare, I hope you get better really soon ( prob all you want to do is sleep!)
Xxx

FATEdestiny · 11/12/2021 15:51

@n0shy

I'm hoping someone can shed some light. My 13 Month Old DS2 falls asleep himself in his cot (we used the Ferber method at 12 months please don't judge as it worked amazing for DS1 and there was minimal crying) but he wakes up during the night and I have to physically lie in the cot with him I don't pat him or anything just lay there, he will toss and turn and flip around the cot, eyes closed this goes on for hour's, and the second I close the door he's screaming. Anytime he turns over in his sleep it's like he automatically stands up holds onto the rail of the cot and starts jumping and screaming. This stops the second I go in. Hes not hungry and his nappy is fine how do I help him to sleep, I'm at my wits end DS1 never did this he would wake for milk but go back to sleep.

When you did controlled crying last month, you needed to do it for all and every time baby goes to sleep. So that includes for every wake up in the night - not just at bedtime.

That's what will solve this for you.

I wouldn't go limiting naps, your average 13 month old is still having 2-nap days, so considering stopping or massively limiting naps is not developmentally appropriate.