Please Help. I feel so lost :(

[TallulahTaboo]

Firstly, thank you for reading. Just like my title explains, please help, I feel beyond lost. My LO won't sleep through the night. And I know this i is a completely normal but this has been ongoing for months.

My LO used to be a fab sleeper, 10/12 hours a night sometimes and since the 5 month sleep regression, he wakes every night. He's nearly 8 months.

And I feel I've tried everything (or maybe not?) and I'm still no further forward. Ive tried allowing him to nap long, nap short, an early bedtime, a late bedtime and still nothing seems to work. We have a routine in for bed and have had that since he was a newborn and never had any bother putting him down. Naps are good too, maybe 1/5 are a struggle but he always goes down.

What am I doing wrong? Am I not doing enough? Should I be calling in a sleep consultant? I should say I bought Just Chill Mamas online course, done everything and still nothing!

He's not got new teeth coming through, he's not ill.... I'm nearly at breaking point. And not to mention how mentally I feel like a failure (I know I'm not but I feel like it) especially when all my friends little ones who are similar ages are sleeping through.

And people who say 'it's just a phase' are probably absolutely right but if doesn't help.

Can anyone suggest anything else? Am I doing something wrong?

When you say he won't sleep through the night what is his sleep pattern like? Multiple wake ups/awake periods? What does he want when he wakes?

8 months is still quite little, definitely not unheard of to wake once at least

Don’t blame yourself, this is one of the reasons people say the baby stage is hard work.

What do you do when he wakes? Have you got support?

What's a typical day for him?
From waking to bedtime nap wise.

Does he have a dummy, comforter?

Do you use white noise?

@LefttoherownDevizes @Moonshine11 @MacNTosh thank you so much for your replies 🤍

And yes sorry I should have said. His schedule yesterday was the following -

Woke at 6.20
Nap at 8.40 for an hour and 15 minutes
Nap at 1.15 for an hour and 25 minutes
Bedtime at 7pm
(The third nap is a struggle so I try to let him sleep around 1.45 if he can in the second one)
And last night he woke up at 10pm unsettled. We went through 4/5 times to put back in his dummy and reassure him. He was then up at 12am until just before 2am. Again unsettled but it escalated quickly into sobbing and proper crying. I attempted to try the 'crying out method' but he wouldn't settle and eventually semi asleep in my arms. He slept until 5.22am.

Give or take timings but this is what's happening every night. He's always put to his bed well fed and awake too.

And yes I use white noise, a comforter and dummy. How wake windows were about 3hours but I use Huckleberry and it suggested a smaller WW around 2/2.5 hours.

He's such a fab baby during the day and hardly cries. So warming and lovely. Just the nights are so horrendous 😢

How is he going to sleep? Does he self settle?
I would make sure he is warm enough and not hungry. How is he eating?
Regards naps, try and cap the first one to an hour max and extend the second one to 2 hours or even 2.5 hrs.
So it would be more like nap 9.15-10am; nap 1-3, bed 7pm.

Is he feeding through the night? You don't mention any feeds in your night's summary

@LapinR0se when he's tired, he literally had his bottle bd goes straight to sleep. He's a dream baby when it comes to that. And I thought he was good a SS but maybe not?

He's on solids, has porridge in the morning with fruit and he will eat what we eat for lunch and dinner. I mean he doesn't eat loads but he eats some. He's still drinking 4x bottles a day.

When he started getting up through the night we tried feeding him and he would take less than an ounce. He usually demolishes 7oz before bedtime too.

So unlikely to be hunger. Make sure he has protein at lunchtime to be on the safe side.
Is he warm enough?

Also when I say self settling, can you describe your exact routine for putting him down for the night?

@ThatsNotMyReindeer I've made him bottles before and I'm lucky if he takes an ounce. So I know he's not hungry. Although when he was screaming and sobbing last night he took a couple of ounces... I assume the crying gave him a dry throat?

[quote TallulahTaboo]@ThatsNotMyReindeer I've made him bottles before and I'm lucky if he takes an ounce. So I know he's not hungry. Although when he was screaming and sobbing last night he took a couple of ounces... I assume the crying gave him a dry throat? [/quote]
Their needs change so quickly at this age, an impending growth spurt will have him hungrier than normal for example.

I do wonder if you're expecting too much from him. He's 8 months old, it probably feels as though he's been around forever but he's still very small. I say that as the parent of a 3 year old who still doesn't sleep through the night and starts his day before 5am though!

@LapinR0se ok I'll try and give him more protein led food at lunchtime.

Start bedtime around 6.30/7 (bath night is every second night) and putting him down will depend on how his day has gone in terms of naps/morning wake

Bath for 15 minutes with dad
Nappy and dressed with white noise on, low lights
Fed in arms with low lights, comforter and white noise
He's then put down semi awake in his cot, comforter, dummy, 2.5tog sleeping bag.
Room is usually around 20 degrees and the white noise is noise activated so will come on if he moans etc.

Naps are very similar, nappy change, low lights, white noise on but he's fed in his cot. And he goes off very quickly unless he's overtired but this maybe happens once or twice a week.

That sounds tough.

If you are going to do CC you need to do it properly and wait for then to go to sleep. If you ended up picking them up they learn that there crying gets then what they want.

However! They are really going, could it be they just want you? Have you tried popping them in with you to see if they settle?

^young!

@ThatsNotMyReindeer I probably am I won't lie. It's so hard to digest that this is happening every night when he was a great sleeper and all his baby friends are sleeping. It's so hard not to compare?

I go back to work FT in 3 weeks and I know I won't function if this happens every night.

Has he got a vest and sleep suit on?

[quote TallulahTaboo]**@ThatsNotMyReindeer I probably am I won't lie. It's so hard to digest that this is happening every night when he was a great sleeper and all his baby friends are sleeping. It's so hard not to compare?

I go back to work FT in 3 weeks and I know I won't function if this happens every night. [/quote]
@ThatsNotMyReindeer also sorry to hear your 3 year old is still waking up too! 🤍

@LapinR0se yes, long sleeve vest and baby grow too. Although the room is 20 degrees it's a cold 20 degrees if that makes sense? I've just ordered a rug to see if that will retain some heat too.

@LefttoherownDevizes yup! He will not sleep beside me. I've never done this with him so I guess he isn't used to it? He will fall asleep in either mine or hubby's arms though. So I know that if we are having a tough night, scoping him up and cuddling in will work but it's not a habit I want to continue. I sounds such a harsh mum saying that? 🤦🏽‍♀️

I would pop socks on over the sleep suit.
Today try doing a shorter first nap and a longer lunch nap. The 10pm wake up could well be over tiredness.

@LapinR0se great thank you. He's just about to go down for his first nap so I'll try 45/1 hour. Thank you for your advice, I really appreciate it 🤍

[quote TallulahTaboo]@ThatsNotMyReindeer I probably am I won't lie. It's so hard to digest that this is happening every night when he was a great sleeper and all his baby friends are sleeping. It's so hard not to compare?

I go back to work FT in 3 weeks and I know I won't function if this happens every night. [/quote]
It's just a case of muddling through and finding what works for you. I don't sleep well, I get up.in the night and it'll take me over an hour to fall back to sleep. My husband has the ability to lie down, close his eyes and he's snoring (which which keeps me awake!). We've found what works for us is I will do the night waking (usually only once in the night but he'll be awake for 3-4 hours) then my husband gets up with him at 4:30 when he wakes up for the day and I get a few more hours sleep undisturbed by child or snoring husband. A hot shower also does wonders for feeling awake and alert too!

Just to reassure you it does get better in most cases! Mine is autistic with sensory processing disorder and has never slept well, always needs cuddling to sleep, weighted blankets etc.

@ThatsNotMyReindeer that sounds tough but seems like you and hubby have got a good rhythm of it and it's working. And what a shame for you LO. My friends son is autistic and I see how hard it is for her (my issue seems very trivial in comparison actually) the cuddles to sleep sound lovely though. 🤍

Thank you for your advice also. I'll keep trying and hoping something works. Hubby does help out a-lot too but he has a physical job that means sometimes helping through the night massively impacts his concentration etc which isn't ideal.

That first nap is very early today. Is it because he woke early?