Baby refusing to nap

[kallia]

My 10 week old DD has suddenly refused to sleep during the day.

She had her jabs about 10 days ago which messed up her sleep schedule a bit, and since then she has simply refused to nap. She won't sleep in a sling, cot, rocked, shushed, car seat, anything. I can see how exhausted she is - her eyes are purple - but she's consistently awake for 12+ hours. Eventually (around 9-10pm) she crashes, sleeps for a full night, wakes (seemingly happy) but then gets crankier throughout the day until by early afternoon she's screaming with tiredness again.

At the moment she is lying on my chest, in a quiet dark room, screaming her head off. Nothing is comforting her. She's been checked by the GP and she doesn't think anything is wrong because she can sleep at night and seems happy in the morning when she wakes. I'm at my wits end, can anyone offer a handhold/sympathy/advice?

My DC2 was like this, I think it was fear of missing out as I had DC1 at home due to lockdown.

If your baby is crying then they are probably hungry, could be a growth spurt and needs more milk if FF/ to cluster feed if BF. They won't sleep if they are hungry. If they are content, but just won't sleep then you can't push it, then will work out what they need when.

She's not hungry. She's taking in the right amount of formula for her weight and if I offer the bottle she refuses it or gags. Occasionally she has one suck and then rejects it. I'm confident she's not hungry; if she wants milk she takes it from the bottle fine.

I've done a nappy change, burped, rocked, sung, left her to self-settle, picked her up and cuddled. She's not ill and it's not too hot or cold. I can't figure out what the hell is wrong.

Swaddle?

And I would say dummy too?

As above - swaddle, then feed, then dummy, then movement.

I would use white noise as well. My DD was awful at that age to get to sleep but swaddle, dummy, white noise and rocking sent her off.

How often does she feed? Mine had a phase where she wanted milk every hour (I breastfeed on demand) and because she drank so often was never really hungry or really full and couldn't sleep. I gradually lengthened the time between each feed till it was more than two hours and then she started napping again.

My eldest was like this. A dummy did the trick to help him self settle.

I remember that phase well. I just used to repeat those things till something worked.

I also found a change of scenery helped for us both, so a walk in the sling, or a bath.

Its such a hard stage, you have my every sympathy!

It does get better! Forgot to mention white/pink noise always works a dream too

Thanks for your suggestions & sympathy! She's on formula and has approx a bottle every 3 hours, but I always offer one if she's crying. If she's hungry she takes it, if not she bats it away.

I've got into a routine now of trying something new (dummy/walk/white noise/rocking) every 15 mins. It doesn't do anything but it keeps me a bit sane. She's now been awake 10 hours grr...

I'm probably panicking unnecessarily but is there any risk to her development if she doesn't sleep? She's not getting more than 10-11 hours sleep per 24 hour period at the moment; most advice says she needs 16-18 hours.

How about a bath? After bath, massage (I always found belly and legs were best for my LO) , blackout room, swaddle tightly, dummy, pink noise loud enough for LO to hear.

I offer my sympathy - my LO was a bad sleeper at times. And literally would only sleep on me.. Make sure you get some food and sleep

I've got into a routine now of trying something new (dummy/walk/white noise/rocking) every 15 mins

You need to do all of those things, every time. Not just ^Oh I'll try dummy this time... or whatever. All the help, all the time, every time.

The 5 S's of emergency sleep:

• Swaddle
• Sucking (dummy)
• Side ways (hold facing you, not upwards)
• Swaying (bouncy chair works)
• Shushing (or white noise)

Do all of these, every time. My "experienced mum easy version is:

• Make a pot if tea/coffee
• Get a cup, the pot, TV remove and phone with charger
• Sit on sofa with all the above within reach
• Put fed & winded baby into bouncy chair
• Bouncy chair at your feet
• Use your foot to bounce rhythmically and continually
• reinsert dummy whenever not being sucked. Then Just. Keep. Going. Don't stop foot bouncing, reinsert dummy, non stop. Dont stress, just watch TV, drink four cuppas, scroll on your phone.

Repeat the above 1 hour after waking up.

Continue until bedtime.

@FATEdestiny I really have tried doing all of those at once. Yesterday I spent 4 hours with her in a dark room, shushing and rocking. She just stared at me, eyes open. I only put her down because I had to go to the loo and came straight back to it. I was there the whole day.

Today I tried mixing it up a bit more, changing what I do and don't do, in case there was one thing she didn't like which was distracting her. No luck. She's just gone to sleep (having been up since 7.30am).

Basically - from an hour after she wakes up I spend the entire day trying to put her down for a nap. At eightish she crashes out from exhaustion but by then she's been up for over 12 hours. She quite simply will not sleep no matter what I do.

I don't mind so much about me, I've got nothing better to do. But I'm worried about her, her little eyes are purple from exhaustion and I'm sure it can't be good for her development.

Op, sleep finds us all eventually and it'll find her if it was my baby I would be heading to a dark bedroom, white noise on, and be stripping her and I off to get some skin to skin cuddles under a cosy duvet. Feed her the next bottle like that if you can. She will be fine and she will sleep eventually!

@linerforlife

Op, sleep finds us all eventually and it'll find her if it was my baby I would be heading to a dark bedroom, white noise on, and be stripping her and I off to get some skin to skin cuddles under a cosy duvet. Feed her the next bottle like that if you can. She will be fine and she will sleep eventually!

Thanks :) yes that's basically what I've been doing all this week.

If it's what I have to do for the next few months of my life, then so be it. I'm just concerned by how distressed she seems to be by the lack of sleep. Most of the advice I've been given suggests that 10 week old babies shouldn't be awake for 10+ hours at a time, but maybe she's just different.

I might suggest to add more structure and routine to the day rather than just trying to get her back to sleep (though I'm sure you're not literally doing that all day). My dd was becoming quite alert at 10weeks so I see the routine quickly. And to separate day and night too.

Wake up at xx Curtains open etc first feed
Downstairs for some floor play over a brew and breakfast.
Upstairs for a shower put her in bouncer chair and singing
Feed
Into the pram for a snooze with dummy and bunny. I'd often walk her at this point.
And so on, separate the day into 3 hours blocks between feeds and snooze, then. Then bath and bedtime at 6:30 (assuming up at 6:30/7am)

More routine than less, and everything else you are doing.

Have you got someone to give to you a break too? It's so hard when they need you (and your mothering instinct means you need to be there) but keeping your calm along the way will make it less stressful.

Oh and maybe check her temp, I didn't realise that dd would get a low temp when she was unwell not just high, until Hv suggested I check when she wasn't herself one time. So anything around 35.5 and I'd give her a little calpol, the vaccines do cause a bit of havoc in my opinion whilst their body processes it.

Gosh. No advice. Sounds like you've done everything. That sounds really hard. Make sure you look after yourself too.

You sound like me OP when my daughter would be awake all day and crying in frustration. Could you change when you feed her, say every 2hrs instead of three as that is a big gap. Doctor advised me no more than 2hrs.

* also tommee tipee dummies the lightest ones are excellent and the only ones my daughter took to

She is only 8 weeks, my daughter settled down more as she neared 12 weeks.

@1990b

You sound like me OP when my daughter would be awake all day and crying in frustration. Could you change when you feed her, say every 2hrs instead of three as that is a big gap. Doctor advised me no more than 2hrs.

* also tommee tipee dummies the lightest ones are excellent and the only ones my daughter took to

She is only 8 weeks, my daughter settled down more as she neared 12 weeks.

A three hour gap seems massive for such a small baby, but then I have no ff experience, but I thought modern advice was to watch for hunger cues just as a bf mum would rather than set a time between feeds?

Thanks for all the tips. I’ll definitely try them out today.

@YoBeaches today I plan to go back to her “usual” routine of wake, brief play, feed, play, rock to sleep. I’m recovering from my second COVID jab today so will be taking it easy anyway. Will see how it goes. If she doesn’t sleep, should I just skip that nap and start over, or keep on trying to get her down til she sleeps? Unfortunately for the last few days it really has been an 8-10 hour marathon of trying to get her to sleep (with very brief breaks to run to the lol or get water, which usually results in her screaming herself sick).

Checked her temp and she seems fine and is otherwise healthy, the mornings she is bright and happy and alert. It’s just when she’s overtired she starts screaming.

Foodwise she’s eating fine - it’s not like she gets a bottle and then nothing for two hours, i stage the feeding through the two hours as and when she wants it. If there are hunger cues she always gets a bottle, Im not feeding to a schedule. I always offer it if she’s crying but often she bats it away (she’ll always take the bottle if she’s hungry so I’m confident she gets what she needs).

Fingers crossed for today!!!

I spent a lot of the first sixth months of DS life in a dark room with white noise on rocking him or wandering round aimlessly with the buggy. Naps basically got better when we sleep trained him and he learnt to put himself to sleep. In the meantime, do you have a sling? This always worked for me when nothing else would. And I know your DD is very little, but tiring her out with activity during wake windows - tummy time, reading to her, play with ribbons/muslins songs etc. They do need some stimulation.

My sympathies - you sound admirably patient and sane given the circumstances!

If she doesn't nap when you think she first should then stop trying and move on to next 'thing'. Watching for tired queues.

Have your tried music also? My dd loves the hushabye lullabyes on bbc iPlayer, even now I willPlay it on my phone it has a calming effect on her., but anything like that, play it low and walk her round in the pram.

Also babies can formNew routines in about 2 weeks so don't give up today if it doesn't work - be religious about it and stick at it.

Hope you don't feel too bad from the jab and good luck.