Baby refusing to nap

[kallia]

My 10 week old DD has suddenly refused to sleep during the day.

She had her jabs about 10 days ago which messed up her sleep schedule a bit, and since then she has simply refused to nap. She won't sleep in a sling, cot, rocked, shushed, car seat, anything. I can see how exhausted she is - her eyes are purple - but she's consistently awake for 12+ hours. Eventually (around 9-10pm) she crashes, sleeps for a full night, wakes (seemingly happy) but then gets crankier throughout the day until by early afternoon she's screaming with tiredness again.

At the moment she is lying on my chest, in a quiet dark room, screaming her head off. Nothing is comforting her. She's been checked by the GP and she doesn't think anything is wrong because she can sleep at night and seems happy in the morning when she wakes. I'm at my wits end, can anyone offer a handhold/sympathy/advice?

Thanks all for your support and suggestions! Will try all.

This morning so far:

7.30am awake and up, she seemed pretty alert and happy. Nappy change and into day clothes.

Tummy time whilst I prepped a bottle and then she drank most of it. Some play time, songs etc.

9am she started yawning so I offered bottle (refused) and then swaddled her and into bedroom. Rocked and shushed with dummy for an hour. She just lay in my arms, eyes open and staring at me, occasionally yawning.

10am I needed to go to the shop so I put her in a sling and walked there. She was quiet but awake the whole time, just looking around her.

I’ve just got back. Feeding her a bottle now and then will try putting her down again. I’ve got my Kindle and a glass of water so should be able to stay here for a few hours, poor thing is getting whiny and yawning so I know she’s tired. Fingers crossed…

Any luck Op?

Ah not yet, she’s still fussing. I’ve got white noise playing on my phone and am rocking her. I’ll give it a few more mins (promised myself I’d give it 3 hours) and then I’ll take her out, play with her etc. to see if she needs to be a bit more tired.

Not sure if this helps and you may already have tried but my son has never showed traditional sleepy cues such as yawning until he's on the verge of me him getting to sleep. He was similar to yours at 10 weeks old, frantic and wired all the time. I found following awake windows much more helpful. I think at that young age they might only want like 45 mins or an hour awake at a time? Lyndsey Hookways book has good guidance on this. It feels really counter intuitive trying to get them to sleep before they seem tired but it worked for us.

@LGBirmingham I definitely need to get better about recognising when she needs a nap. How did you manage to get your son to sleep in the end?

She’s now not slept since she was up at 7.30 despite hours of trying.

Oh wow. Your still going? How does LO sleep at night? X

I think you should try for a nap sooner than 9am, regardless if she’s not yawning. Yawning is usually a late cue and she might be overtired by then. 1.5 hours seems a long time for a 10 week old baby to be awake, especially first thing. I’d try after 45-60 minutes and see if you have any luck!

She's a champion sleeper at night, mostly. If she's not disturbed she'll manage 2 5-hour shifts.

Today she has been awake 7.30am-4.30pm. She managed about a 30 min nap in my arms then but woke up about 5ish and has been awake since. Given the last few days I think she'll crash out in a couple of hours and sleep for the night. Oh well, tomorrow's another day!

@Vicky1989x I will try that tomorrow morning, thank you. It usually takes over an hour to get her full enough to sleep (she takes the bottle very slowly or she'll be sick) but I'll do my best to get her napping as soon as she's done with it.

Oh wow. Least your getting some rest in the night.

I haven't read all the posts apologies. What about a pram and long walk? I have to cover the pram up until she's asleep when I'm out - too Nosey still at almost 6 months old 😂
Or failing that a car journey? Some people swear by that 🤷🏼‍♀️ my LO will only sleep in car if we're holding her hand 😂 I know there's probably so much advice given to you... But your find one that works best for your LO. The bouncer never worked for me - only for my DP did it ever work. She was too interested in staring at me. Though I do agree excellent advice.

My friends LO at that age used to only sleep 30 mins 3 times a day and has developed amazingly - trying to reassure.

What size teat is your LO on? This is going to sound crazy but my LO had reflux/sickness (whole bottle used to come up too) and we moved up a teat size quicker then the "norm" and she was on 6month plus teat at 4 months 🤦🏼‍♀️but it helped massively with sickness.

I agree to 45mins to 60 mins wake windows.

Sounds crazy too - but when my LO going sleep - I don't do no eye contact. Sounds so cruel but anyone gives her eye contact it's game over. When she's going sleep in buggy I reach round from side hunt for dummy and pop in that way 🤦🏼‍♀️

Interesting thought about the teat! She's very refluxy so I have wondered if that might be why she's struggling to settle. I always thought she'd need a smaller teat if that were the case but maybe she could move up one. I'll see if I can get her some larger teats tomorrow.

I've tried the pram, only thing I haven't tried is a bouncer (because we don't have one, and I can't justify the space - we live in a very small one-bed apartment). She does sleep in the car but only on motorways/fast roads... just our luck living in central London haha

@kallia now you mention using a slower teat, I agree to up a size. My DD was awfully refluxy and had trapped wind cause I thought using a slower teat would be better. She then wouldn’t sleep because of the trapped wind. Try a faster teat (might make her a bit more sick until she adjusts so don’t worry) but that might help massively!

You can only but try. If it doesn't work, you can go back. It can take a few days for LO to get used to it, initially may be a bit more sicky. An hour seems a long time to feed - maybe LO getting too tired and wants a faster feed. Is your LO hitting bottle or seeming to get frustrated with it?

Mmm yeah London your not going to find any motorways. Maybe some roller skates in a pram may help 🤣

Oh reflux, tilt the base of the pram slightly, I put a couple of folded Muslins underneath the bassinet mattress where her head would be so that she would be slightly tilted, this helped. And if you have a next to me cot they are designed to allow you to tilt the feet end for the same reason.

Have you tried gripe water/infacol before a feed etc? Does she wind well?

You've progressed - she napped this afternoon ... keep going x

I hope you don't think I was being flippant earlier, it does sound super hard and I know it's difficult not to worry! I think the suggestion about using wake windows is a good one, check what it should be for her age?

[quote kallia]@LGBirmingham I definitely need to get better about recognising when she needs a nap. How did you manage to get your son to sleep in the end?

She’s now not slept since she was up at 7.30 despite hours of trying.[/quote]
I think I'm lucky that I could breastfeed so a combination of feed then rock and sing then feed then rock and sing would eventually work but timing really was key to how easy it was to get him to sleep. Still is actually but he's now 8 months and he needs less naps thankfully. As I said before sleepy cues like yawning aren't reliable for him so being aware of the appropriate wake window for his age and trying to get him to sleep 20 mins before the end of it is usually the best bet.

Around 8 weeks we realised he had silent reflux, now gone thank god. It really was miserable. I remember many hours holding him crying with him refusing to feed and not falling asleep and he'd go totally manic. I notice you mention being sick and wonder if it might be reflux? Could explain the long stretches at night - crashing from exhaustion but staying asleep ok because less feeding means less reflux? We were prescribed both infant gaviscon and Lansoprasole to vary degrees of success but keeping him upright as much as possible really helped.

Naps were definitely best in a sling upright. We also ditched the carrycot pretty swiftly and went to the chair bit on our pram as we could have it on a slight incline. A car seat was absolutely the worst for him as it scrunched him up in a terrible position. I remember our first motorway journey with him crying for half an hour. If it was a nap at home it was best if I held him in my lap at an incline. Any rocking was done with him bolt upright not in a cradle hold. Also I realised it was best to do any floor time/nappy change straight after he woke before feeding otherwise putting him flat after a feed was game over.

I'd definitely say if you try to get a nap by going for a walk (pram or sling) just bear in mind it might take 20 mins of walking before sleep is achieved and you might have a child like mine who will wake if you stop moving. I did a lot of bobbing up and down on the spot at traffic lights with the sling.

Not sure if this helps? But hang on in there. If it is reflux it will definitely get better. It just disappeared for us at 5 months.

Have you tried sling/wrap/baby carrier?

Thanks all. I’ll definitely try wake windows today although at the moment my priority is getting her to sleep at all, once she wakes after a decent nap I can start putting her down in age appropriate wake windows. I’m not really sure what she needs as she has never been a baby to correspond to the books. From Day 1 she has always been awake for 2-3 hours, asleep for 4/5, almost like clockwork. The HV was very surprised but she was happy like that so we didn’t change it. Even now in the night she takes 1.5 hours to have her feed and go down again.

Now she doesn’t really have awake windows, just an awake day…

She awoke st 6.30am so I fed her (she didn’t really want much, mostly refused the bottle) and I started trying to get her to sleep from 7am. She now absolutely irate and inconsolable. Might be a long day…

@CallMeRisley yes i take her for a walk at least once a day for at least an hour in a sling. She just sort of looks at me the whole time, isn’t interested in sleeping at all! She sleeps for my husband in the carrier but he’s out at work all day so not v practical.

Also this might sound so annoying but the more confident and relaxed you can be whilst trying to get her to sleep the more likely you are to succeed. I know it's easier said than done believe me! I used to get in a stew about it all and they pick up on your anxiety. I found the wake windows helped me be more confident that sleep would come and helped me relax.

One more thing. Is it worth considering cows milk protein allergy? I know someone who's baby had that and they barely slept and also had terrible reflux.

I have considered it but I’m really not sure it’s a medical issue as she can sleep so well at night and when she does go down she sleeps for hours. No problems with nappies etc.

All this came on very very suddenly. She had her jabs and was cranky/sleepy for a day, plus the next day her grandparents came down and kept her entertained and I’m pretty sure they overtired her (they usually do). Ever since she has just refused to nap.

@kallia You said it takes 1.5 hours to have her feed and go back down… how long is she taking to finish a bottle? And how much is she taking?

I think you need to go back to the GP.

That is far too long for a little baby and she must be beside herself with exhaustion. Something is not right.

@kallia

I have considered it but I’m really not sure it’s a medical issue as she can sleep so well at night and when she does go down she sleeps for hours. No problems with nappies etc.

All this came on very very suddenly. She had her jabs and was cranky/sleepy for a day, plus the next day her grandparents came down and kept her entertained and I’m pretty sure they overtired her (they usually do). Ever since she has just refused to nap.

How long has this been happening for? How did she nap before that? Could she have a virus?

I felt with my son that around 6/8 weeks old it was as if he 'woke up' and became much more alert and achieving naps was harder at that point. Although I could normally manage it within in an hour of trying, not like what you're having?