2yr old still comes into our bed need help to stop it please

[Tania2]

HELP HELP HELP
I know this has proberly been done b4.
My ds wakes in the middle of the night and will scream until i bring him into our bed and then he falls straight back to sleep. I think that it has been the easy way and thats why we have done it cause everyone then gets there sleep. But now he is getting bigger he tries to kick us out of bed and noone is getting any sleep.
Last night i tried to give him some cars to play with hoping that he will play with them then fall back to sleep in his own Cot. He just screamed for his bottle of milk and mummys bed. i cant leave him in his cot as he tries to climb out and i am worried that he will fall out. Iam angry that i have left this too late and worried if i put him into his own big bed that he will just keep getting out and climb into bed with us.
Please someone help me he turns 2 in 2 weeks and would like him to sleep through by then.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and i hope someone has gone through this that could let me know how they broke the habit.

Tania2 - got this link from the TTC thread. Poor you - really feel for you as we have very similar with DD - so much so that she unzipped her grobag and climbed out of the cot - very frightening! I had really loved her grobag and was in no hurry to get her out of her cot but she just decided it was time! Sort of forced the issue for us to get a bed and suprisingly she has never climbed out of that ...although that doesn't stop her shouting! We had really made progress until she got ill this last few weeks! We worked on peer pressure and took her to see some of her older friends and showed her their beds "Do you want to be a big girl like ...." its amazing how even at such an early age she understood this and wanted to be a big girl too.

When she shouts now we just go in and tell her that its night time and to go back to sleep. She does persist but its the same as other people have said - consistent is the key. Such a killer though when you are tired and emotional - you know that the easy option is to scoop them up with you but you really need to make a decision and stick to it! I have a wonderful all singing all dancing sticker chart (with choc!!!) that did help and just using a ridiculous over the top praising tone of voice (like you would with a puppy!!!) in the morning and that worked too!!! She would preen to herself!!

Do feel for you though - I felt like such a failure as all my friends children are sooooo good it sounds like they pracically take themselves to bed (after doing the ironing!!!).

Stick with it! Feel like I know you from the TTC thread and think we are the same CD aswell!! Cannot keep up with that one and have been a bit put off as its too easy to get swallowed up in other peoples problems and other peoples happy news!

Good luck - xxxx

Thank you silverlining it really helps knowing that other people go throu this aswell. You should just drop in to the ttc thread now and then we would love to hear how you are going. Hope you are well.
Well nearly 8:30am here and ds woke at around 7:45 but stayed in his cot playing and singing to bob the builder and baa baa kept him in there for a little while so his realises that its not that bad in there when i went in he was in such a good mood and i praised him up. AND he still loves me wish me luck for tonight!!!
Thanks again girls for your support i will keep posting my diary like Hula did and hope that it encourages other mums too.

Well done Tania! I'm sure it will get easier, and I think he will learn to snuggle down himself. Does he have a favourite teddy or something to tuck in, to encourage him down there?

But well done for perservering - not easy at 4am

Thanks Tickle

I have been a registered childminder for 13 years. My advice would be this...
A definite and repetitive bedtime routine; bath, bottle of milk and story (same story every night - Peepo very suitable! while getting established). All this done quietly and calmly. Into cot, lie him down (but only once), say goodnight,and leave the room. Go in every 5 minutes, but only if he's really crying, not if he's quietening down. Say "IT'S TIME TO SLEEP" and nothing else,lie him down once, and leave the room. Repeat exactly as before for as long as necessary! If he climbs out of his cot, lift him straight back in, saying the same words in the same "boring" voice. You may have to do it 20 times on the trot (I did!), making sure there is nothing dangerous within his reach when he's out. Wait outside his door if he can open it.If he asks for milk, ignore the request and say same words. On each visit, only say these words once and lie him down only once. Every time he wakes in the night, repeat exactly. Good idea for both parents to take turns if you can both be strong enough. DS needs to know that you two are in control and you mean business! I have just helped a DESPERATE mother I mind for to do this with her dd of almost 2 (she has another almost 1 and another due in Jan), so really needed her sleep! To her absolute amazement, it worked in 2-3 nights! Try it for 3 nights and see if it works for you.

Thanks blodwen. I have done that b4 with his day sleeps and yes it worked really well i had a sleep nurse come out to our house at his nap time this was just after he got over the croup. didnt do the night sleeps then as we didnt mind him in our bed and agreed that we would wait until we could reason with him. He does have a bedtime routine same one since he was a baby problem is that somewhere along the line he started having bottles so we have to deal with that too now. The problems we create ourselves come back to bite you in the butt!!!

Well done Tania - I wondered how you were getting on in the middle of the night around 2.30am when my little one made her appearance. Your thread made me strong enough to put her back about five times but gave in at around 5.30am. I can relate to the routine working well and then one incident throwing it all. We moved house and had to share a room as a family while doing up the other bedrooms she could see us so started launching herself out of the cot, we were upset to see her on the floor (luckily not hurt) and so put her in with us for a few weeks until the room was ready and we had a bed for her, by then it was to late. So pleased to hear you are getting on with cracking it now before the bed, your hard work will all be worth it. Keep going xx

Stripymouse we are in the same situation as you and like you we have tried everything but all too late! Ds (4) gets into our bed everynight and just takes over. Smetimes we don't notice he's even got in. However, there has been many occasion when dh or I simply get out and go to sleep in Ds s bed!
Tania2, well done and hope it continues...

I feel for you Tania, dd was like that at two, and it was very hard to keep her in her own bed. As soon as she was able to climb out of her cot on her own, I left the side down so that she could get out more safely. She's going to get out anyway, so keeping the drop side up just means she has further to fall....

We used the Christopher Green 'rope trick' in the end - it took about a week before she stopped trying to get out of her bed and into ours. I did feel mean, 'locking' her door like that, though.

Luckily, ds(now age 1) seems to hate being in bed with us, I suppose that it's because I never made a habit of taking him into bed with me, whereas dd slept with us for the first six months!

With the bottle, it's just the same, you need to be strong, and NEVER give in. Same goes for your dh, don't let him give in either. any time you give in, you prolong the problem. Hope you have some restful nights soon

Kirk

Hi girls,
Thank you Winnie & Kirk for your encouragement.
Stripymouse Iam glad that this thread helped make you strong to do the same maybe we can do this together and help eachother through it.
Well had a bad day today hot water service broke down have we have to get a new one $$$$$ so we went off to MIL to have our showers. DS so worn out that he went straight to sleep when i put him to bed asked for a bottle and i just said good night sweetheart love you see you in the morning and he went to sleep with no bottle. Lets hope he stays asleep till morning but you may hear from me at 4ish again (my time)
Wish me luck

Ok early update. 10:10pm here ds has just woken at 10pm distrest and very hot with a temp. offered a drink of water didnt want that offered water in bottle "no milk" then went to give him panadol and wouldnt take that and yes i gave in and gave him lucky to be 15mil of milk with the panadol in it. and yes he went straight back to sleep.
HOW am i going to do this bottle thing i can deal with him wanting to come into our bed atm but dont know if i can take this away from him too i keep reasuring him that i love him but i dont want him to think that i have not only banashed him from out bed but now i am taking one of his comforters away from him.

10:50 he just woke again just as i got into bed. still feels warm and was quite upset. gave him a cuddle for a bit then layed him back down he found his empty bottle and started to suck on it and went back to sleep.
Do you think he may be getting his 2 yr old molars or maybe he is comming down with something????

Oh tania - I do feel for you! Isn't it hard when they are ill? We had DD awake at 1.30 wailing for Mummys bed and was almost going to give in but thought I really need to take a stand! DH tried his best but I ended up going in and telling her that big girls sleep in their beds etc etc and I would be soooooo pleased if she waited till morning for a cuddle and she seemed to get the idea! She did keep shouting and I thought she was saying "I want to kiss you" so I went in (soft touch) all ready for a big love but she looked at me as if I was mad and said "no I want a tissue!", how stupid did I feel!!! Still she did sleep till after 7 which is amazing for her and made me all the more determined to keep it up and so must you!!!

I do know where you are coming from and do wonder if he might be getting his molars - is it such a bad thing to let him suck on his bottle?? I might get struck down here but like you said, doing this to him and taking away his comfort .....

My boss is a Consultant paediatrician and her daughter still had a bottle at night till she was (shhhhhh (whispers) nearly 3!) Good enough for them then good enough for ours!!!

Anyway - nearly time to get out of here for me! Will be thinking of you! Good luck! xxxx

[yawn] He woke at 2:45am i went in there said time to sleep etc, he handed me his bottle said milk and lied down. he wouldnt even lie down last night so how could i not give him a bottle. so YES i gave in and gave him 15mil lucky to be a mouth full... it is very quiet in there now.....
Thanks silverlining, it is so hard isnt it? Iam hoping that he wont bother with the bottle soon only being a mouthful and all. fingers crossed. You hear alot of people saying my child had a bottle till he/she was X age and they are fine??? Good luck to you tonight hope she wants to a big girl tonight too. How old is she again??
Off to bed now i think he is asleep??? hummmmm was it about 10min tonight instead of 1 hour??? even though i gave in for a bottle at lease iam not up freazing my t*ts off.

DS got woken up this morning by dh leaving for work at 6:15am have i stuffed up i brought him in bed to watch Bob the Builder and he fell back to sleep. Surely he can still come in for morning cuddles????