9 month old wakes up at 5am no matter what!!!

[mumtobeinsept]

Please help!!

My daughter is almost 10 months old and for the past 3 months or so has been waking up at between 4-5.30 everyday. Some nights she wakes up 2-3 times in the night too. She was a great sleeper at night from day 1 and I just don't understand what's caused this change. I held on thinking it might be teething or a sleep regression but it's just not going away.

I cut down her naps to 2-2.5 hours max and dropped it from 3 to 2. So at the moment she has a nap at 9.30 for an hour or an hour an a half max then another one at 2.30 for 45mins to an hour.

She used to go bed at 8, I tried making it later to 9pm and that still didn't work. I've now brought it forward to 7.15 because she wasn't getting enough sleep. It basically doesn't matter what time she goes bed she still wakes up at 5. She has no problem putting herself back to sleep in the night most of the times but even though I can see her trying she just can't go back to sleep after 5. She has blackout blinds but they let out a bit of light from the sides. It's still quite dark though.

I tried rocking her, walking around with her, bringing her to our bed but nothing works.

She's definitely not waking up because of hunger because when I take her down she's happy to play and doesn't ask for food until I feed her around 7.30-8. I dropped the night feed very early on around 4 months because she was sleeping through. She loves her food and has 3 full meals, snacks and 3 bottles everyday. I keep her routine consistent every single day.

I'm back at work now, working from home with a heavy workload and looking after her on hardly any sleep. I am at the end of my tether exhausted all day everyday. I honestly just want to run away!!

A friend of mine said to give her a bottle but is it wise to reintroduce night feeds at 10 months?

I am after helpful suggestions so please keep smart ass comments to yourselves. To some people getting up at 5am might not be an issue but it's just not for me. I am miserable and tired all the time.

Thank you in advance xx

So last night she woke up at 4. I settled her 2-3 times but she just kept waking up even though it was pitch black in the room so it definitely isn't the light that's waking her.

Got her out of bed just after 5 changed her nappy and gave her a bottle and put her back down at 5.30. She then slept until 6.30, woke up again and we settled her again and she slept until 8!!

The milk definitely helped. So tonight if she wakes up I'm going to give her a bottle straight away rather than trying to settle her without.

She was so well rested when she woke up, full of smiles it was so lovely! ♥️♥️

@mumtobeinsept that's so great to hear! Well done all of you. A little bit of milk does the world of good sometimes

That was short lived!

Last night put her down at 8.15 she got up at 1.45 managed to settle her back down and again up at 5.20 gave her milk slept for 5 mins and she's back standing up in her cot.

Great start to the week!!

@mumtobeinsept I honestly think the 12 hour sleep thing doesn't fit all! It's why I would never pay for a sleep consultant, as some babies and toddlers just don't fit that pattern. DD started waking at 5 around ten months. She's now nearly 2, and her average wake up time now is 6am. Sometimes she wakes at 5.30,5.45 and we get the very occasional 6.30, but not often. She genuinely doesn't need to sleep later and is fine waking at that time. Even on the odd day she doesn't nap, she still wakes at 6 the next day. It's just the way she is. She's slept through since 3/4 months, never wakes in the night, self settles to sleep and gave us our evenings back at 8 weeks old, so I feel I can't complain too much that she doesn't sheep until the mythical 7am! I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but some babies and toddlers are just early risers.

Sleep, not sheep!

Annoyingly I do too, dc and puppy are still fast asleep but I've been awake since 5 as with every morning so can't offer much advice apart from going to bed earlier to get more sleep

And yes to the 12 hour thing being a nonsense. I don't actually know many babies that confirm to that.

My mental health is not great and this is just pushing me over the edge. It's making me want to just walk out. Her cries are just making me so angry I end up staying in the room while my husband takes her downstairs.

Sounds exhustingly normal to me. I go to bed as early as possible and make sure there's strong coffee ready to put on when I have to get up in the morning. It's far from easy but not for ever - although in my experience it only takes a couple of unbroken nights sleep to start thinking another baby is a brilliant idea!

Mine used to do the same...

So I would give her her breakfast, pop her into her swing, stick on children channels, usually channel 5 at that time, and then because i was in a bungalow, I would doze in bed till it was a reasonable hour.

Dd was happy, I could hear her (I had my hearing aid in) but I was able to catch 20 winks before getting up for the day.

If she cried or was grumpy, then I would get up, but usually it worked

I have had two that are not great sleepers. It is exhausting but weirdly just accepting that’s their sleep routine helped. I found that getting stressed trying to ‘fix’ their sleep made it all worse for me. My first didn’t sleep through until 3.5 and my youngest wakes at 4 am every single day. We assume it’s when they hear the birds as the curtains are blackout.

We haven’t been successful in changing their sleep patterns so I either go to bed earlier or really look forward to the weekend to get more sleep.

I've been with DH for 12 years, it took me 10 years to agree to having a baby because I was always apprehensive. I thought I was finally ready for it but judging with the way coping I guess not!

I do not see myself having another now and to be honest I'm in awe of women who have 2,3,4.. kids. I don't know how they can manage.

I think I might be suffering with a bit of depression tbh as I don't think I'm having normal thoughts. I feel so tired and negative. I keep saying tomorrow I'll wake up and I'll exercise... that day never comes! I know that I'm drinking way too much too but I feel like I have no other outlet.

I'm just stuck in a rut. My DH seems to breezing through it which makes me feel more inadequate.

Sorry for my nice bit of doom and gloom on a Monday morning!

I feel guilty that I'm not enjoying my DD like I should be and I really feel both of us getting a decent nights sleep would go a long way towards that.

I'm thinking of splurging on a sleep consultant as a last resort. Can anyone recommend one? X

Oh bless you. You've got this, you will get through it. Perhaps talk to your doctor about how you are feeling though?

Have you tried a late evening feed/resettle? The idea is that you wake baby up when you go to bed, say 11pm ish. It is to act as a "restart" on the nights sleep, so push morning wake up later. It might help and is an easy thing to implement.

Whoever is last to bed does it (you or DH). You want to fully wake baby up, rather than maintaining a lumbered state. It's a good idea to do a nappy change - this helps wake baby and also means that by morning the nappy is a bit less full so more comfortable to stay asleep in. Then give a warm milk feed and wind baby really well afterwards. Then resettle baby back down as you would at bedtime.

Try eating earlier, we used to have dinner 6ish with baby in high chair beside us, they would have a drink and a snack. Put them to bed and then go yourself at 9pm. The time between bedtime is your time to relax, we had a rule no housework in the evenings. It will get better you just have to adjust your life for a while.

Oh OP I do feel for you, I do, but children do wake up very early.

You have said she tries to go back to sleep, she can’t. At the moment this is where you are at.

I honestly do sympathise but I think adjusting your own routine rather than getting so worked up trying to change this would be helpful.

Hi OP

Just wanted to say I can completely relate to your feelings on motherhood. My GP did diagnose me with PND when baby was very young and it sounds like you could be suffering too, I would suggest having a chat with your GP, mine was so understanding it really helped me. X

Thank you for all for the support ♥️

I thought PND happened after birth not after 9 months? I'm going to try my best to change my outlook and look at positives and hope that this will soon sort itself out.

My sister has taken my DD for a sleepover tonight and I hope she's not a nightmare for her 😩 but I must say I'm so looking forward to a night of uninterrupted sleep xX

My PND was diagnosed at 10 months, and I'm convinced sleep deprivation played a significant role. Dont discount it.

Post Natal depression can develop many months after the birth. Or it could be "regular" depression.

Either way, you don't need to be feeling like this and I feel sure you'll cope better if you look after yourself by talking to your doctor.

My little boy is 1 and has always woke around 5:30am but recently started to wake at 5am. He has been able to self soothe for some time and will sleep solidly from 6:45pm but he was waking up tierd and so were we. I decided to do some research and a lot of the info talked about the negative effect night lights have on sleep. I’ve always used a bright blue night light which is directly across from his cot. I decided to get rid of the nightlight completely but on the first night he got really upset. I read that red Light dosent interfere with sleep so instead of buying an expensive night light that may not work I went to the pound shop and bought some red Xmas tree lights and put them in a clear container (I put them were he couldn’t directly see them but gave off enough light for him to see) I then decided that if he was to wake at 5am I would give him a few mins and if he stood up I’d go in him lie him down and stroke his face. I’d carry on doing the same until after 6am and Then go in turn the lights on and say good morning. I’ve been doing this over a week and he is now sleeping till 6:15 am. He then has a 2 hour nap at 11:45. He was napping about 9am because he was so tierd but now dosent need to.

Have you tried giving her a slightly earlier morning nap? 5am to 9:30am is a very long wake window so maybe she is getting overtired. At 10mo I think their wake windows should be about 3 hours. I would suggest moving it to 8:45am to begin with and see if that helps any. It might be an idea not to put her back to sleep at 5am and keep her up for her 1st nap so that she gets into a better cycle? 5am wake ups are the balls and apart from this I have no other advice. You are doing just great!