What's your bedtime routine?

[florenceuk]

At the moment DS takes ages to get to bed. In theory it is teeth and bath, then two stories then bed. But this is interspersed with much running around, and lots of rituals eg having to play with handheld shower until bath is big enough to float in; at least one of the stories is the Cat in the Hat, which takes a good 15min to read; goodnight kiss must be accompanied by at least two stories about when he was a baby (from both Mum and Dad). Then he won't stay in bed, but that's another problem of its own... All in all, it can take up to an hour and a half to get DS off to bed - or longer.

I'm a bit worried about managing this when baby no 2 arrives on the scene. Any advice - what's your routine?

DD is 2y 1m, her evening routine looks like this...

5.00 - 5.30 - Eat evening meal with fruit & yoghurt

5.30 - 6.00pm - Watch TV and wait for Daddy to come home

6.00pm - Bath time with Daddy

6.20pm - Warm milk in beaker and 15 mins of CBeebies bedtime hour (64 Zoo Lane). Brush teeth.

6.35pm - Bedtime.

7.00pm - Sleeping 'til 7.15am !

I know she goes to bed earlier than a lot of toddlers her age, she also has 2.5hr nap in the day. She's just one of those children who needs her sleep

How old is he florence and has he always been like this or has it got worse? Very briefly my dd (2 on Sunday ) has tea around 6pm then I try to involve her in quiet activities (no t.v. on at all) with me then she has her bath around 6.45pm and I get her straight out to be dried and put in pajamas. We go down for stories around 7.15pm, I try to limit it to 2 but if she seems more awake than usual I'll give in to her protest for 'just one more.' Then we do some soppy stuff (she has a thing called a 'baby rock' in which I hum to her and rock her), I put her in and leave and she chats for a while or sings a nursery rhyme but she's usually asleep by about 7.30pm though frequently I'm running late and the whole process takes place half an hour later.

No idea if that's going to be any help? I know bedtime procrastinating is a very typical toddler trait.

Both of ours have the same routine as NDP, except that mummy does the bath bit too. I put DS to bed first (17months) and whilst I'm doing that DD (5) gets to watch cbeebies in mummy and daddy's bed or have a chat with dad if he's home. I then put DD to bed and we read to each other. DS has to have his books during the day after lunch 'cos otherwise the bedtime bit would take all night!!
In the end DS is asleep by 7pm and DD by 7.30pm. Both sleep until 7.30am....at the moment!!

My ds's are 10 months and five years. With ds2 he normally has a bath around 7pm with daddy who then dresses him in PJ's and takes him downstairs for his milk. Then it's ten minutes of sky sports news wich is enough to make anyone sleepy. Then he's put down and left to mumble and cry unless it's persistant (more than 2 minutes without a break to listen for us) . Most of the time he settles himself and it's only the odd night that we have problems.

Ds1 get's in the bath when ds2 and dad get out and he plays for about ten minutes. Then it's into PJ's and then 20 minutes of TV (on a timer and he can't reach the remote or the TV) , then he has his music on (Saturday Nigh Fever soundtrack) and goes to sleep.

Both sleep until at least 7.30am. Weekends until 9am usually.

We've always had a definite bed time routine and with ds2 it was put into place from about three weeks old and he was sleeping through around 10 weeks.

We went through a stage with ds1 of doing the controlled crying when he was about 2.5 and we had to put a lock on his door. But since we've introduced the 20 minutes of quiet TV in his room he's fine and he watches video's so I know he isn't seeing anything he shouldn't. At weekends he get's sometimes 40 minutes or an hour depending on the time. But I swear by it and so does my neighbour who has the same routine with her two.

Get a TV and put it out of reach. You'll never look back. It was also brilliant for those afternoons naps. Once he stopped wanting a sleep in the afternoon he had telly time instead. He went in his room for an hour or so and watched a disney film. It gave us both a break and he was often much calmer afterwards.

DD (age 2.5yo) has a loose routine which is not always kept too. For example, bath isn't always done every night. And timings can change too - but she is normally in bed on her own by 8pm.

We have:

• playtime after nursery/DH goes in
• sits at table whilst Dh and I have dinner; she will eat with us but has already eaten tea too
• more playtime with daddy
• bath (or wind down)
• cuddles whilst getting dry and dressed for bed
• kisses with one parent; other to take to bed
• in bed, story, kiss, say "night night"
• sleep follows shortly (hopefully)

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DS is 3 and a bit. We have dinner around 5.45-6pm, then he plays with dad while I clear up. In the bath 6.30/6.45, into pjs and downstairs for small beaker of cold milk and some books, normally with dad. Back upstairs about 7.30, clean teeth, bedtime wee wee, kiss and cuddle for mum, kiss and cuddle for dad and then into bed, lights out.

We've always had a variant of this routine since DS was a baby. We are very lucky though in that DS is like me in that he likes going to bed and like his dad in that he isn't a big fan of getting out of it!

DS (21 months) loves his bedtime routine. If we're a bit relaxed on a Saturday he reminds us at exactly the right time "Milk, Tweenies!"

Milk & Tweenies & Fimbles and a lovely big cuddle on the sofa.
Up to bathroom, strip off, sit on potty and read a book.
Into bath (incidentally, never wees in potty, always wees second he gets in the bath, and he stands up to do it, so he knows its coming!)
Cuddle dry, nappy & PJs on, sit in cuddle chair in his bedroom & read stories
Stand up, lights off & cuddly nursery rhymes
Into bed, brush teeth, say prayers, night night.

All over by 7pm at the absolute latest. Usually nearer 6:30 (or earlier if Daddy's out!)

Sometimes we get all hippy and instead of a story we switch on his glitter lamp & relaxation music and all sit on the floor in the semi-darkness! - very chilled!

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Thank goodness for essbee! DS (13.5 mos) has last meal of the day about 6:30 or 7:00, teeth and bath at 7:30 to 8:00 then runs around until 9:00 (although lately it is creeping until 9:30). Still gets up once at about 2:00 a.m. for a bottle, sometimes again at 6: a.m. for same then up for the day about 8:00.

Dinner for both at 5pm. Then play until Daddy comes home (around 5.45pm). DS and Daddy have 1/2 an hour playing football in the garden while I play with DD and get pjs ready etc.
6.15 Daddy baths DD ... DS has 15 minutes on the computer.
6.30 DD gets out of bath ... we top it up so that DS can get in and have a good long wallow (We would bath them together but DS doesn't like to bath with DD as he is scared she will do a poo in the bath ) while DD has her last b/f of the the day ...
7pm DS gets out of the bath ... and DD goes to bed.
DS then watches a video for 20 minutes while I get dinner ready for me and DH.
7.20ish DS goes to bed, has a story and can look at books or do a puzzle until he is ready to turn out his light.
He is normally asleep by 8pm.
Both of mine are early risers no matter what time they went to sleep ... DS is always awake by 6.30am even if he goes to bed at 9pm ... so I am very insistent that he is in bed by 7.30pm. If I can't have a lie in I might as well have my evening to myself.

Ditto about the early risers, Ghosty. For ds there is no truth in later to bed, later to get up. He will get up between 6am and 8am, usually sooner rather than later, no matter what. He's just like me. If I stay up late I still wake up by 8 at the latest, I just wake up grotty rather than rested. At Uni it was great as I had a part of the day to myself. While pg, however, my body seems to see any time between 3am and 5 am as the best time to wake up. Hmph!

DS is almost 3. I notice that if he doesn't have a nap, he is much much harder to deal with that night (but will tend to spend less time mucking around getting out of bed once in). Maybe I should try the glitter lamp? I try to keep things calm, but end up shouting and threatening just to get him to settle down and have his story (why is Cat in the Hat soooo long?)

The one saving grace is, once he's asleep, he's asleep!

5pm tea then play and clear up
6pm bedtime hour (we love cbeebies)
6.20 64 zoo lane (!!) take DD2 up to bath/bed
daddy usually sits with DD1 for a bit and then comes and cuddles / dresses DD2 for bed then back town to DD1 to watch rest of BTH whilst I give DD2 her milk and put her down to sleep.
7pm. Night night cbeebies - we all sing the song. Then she switches off the telly. We make a cup of milk, then it's off for bath, brush teeth, PJs, turn down lights night night mummy, sit on daddy's lap and read TWO (NO more or I make threats towards daddy) stories. Bed, lights out, "One Snowy Night" on the tape!

BTW - there are board book versions of cat in the hat which are "abridged" - might be worth a look.

The point is that it is so very easy to let things slide over time... It has nearly happened to us on many an occasion. The imminent arrival of DD2 was MY wake up call to put a stop to these things.

DD1 says "want to play with (whatever)". I simply repeat over and again "No - not toytime now, bedtime now. No loud noises - quiet time now." And it is a cliche but you have to be relentless and never let it slip (even when you are tired and it seems SUCH hard work)

Good luck!

DD is 22 months and I have used following routine from 2months (except when V little got her up at 10.30pm for breast feed).

6.15 arrive home from child minders play until 6.30.
6.30 bath
6.50 milk on my knee in her room
7.00 into cot
she sleeps through till 7.20 am on v few occasions she chats to her self after 7.oo usually goes to sleep though.

This routine means I hardly see her Mon - Fri but as a full time working, single parent I have loads of household stuff plus office work to do in the evening so couldn't cope if she wasn't in this brilliant routine. She sleeps 1.5 hours in afternoon.

Totally agre Ghosty.
My dd is up at 6.30-7.30 every morning so i make sure she's in bed by 7.30 as she now has nursery too. (Except on Saturday when she stays up to watch pop idol with me but i'm not impressed with the language this year as it WAYT before the watershed and last week they said piss 3 times i think ).
Will do my routine later florenceuk, am off to make a rainstick out of an old water bottle with dd

DD is five on Monday and has had the same routine since she stopped breast feeding. Supper at 6. Play with Mummy or watch tv till 7. Tidy up till 7:15. Bath till 7:45. Two stories. Lights out at 8:10. It has never ever worked. (!!)

5.OOpm - I start geting stressed and clockwatching for the magical hour.
5.01pm shout at dd just because it is 5.01 and It geives me a sense of comfort to do the same thing every day at the same time.
5.02pm put tea on
5.30 partner comes home to find teary stressed mum, untidy house and child dancing without a care in the world
5.45 have tea
6.00 -7.30pm something magical happens while I drink wine and eat chocolate, dp takes daughter up stairs, in the bath, play a quiet game, have stories and it is bedtime. a sense of calm starts to fill the house
7.15pm I go upstairs telling myself what a fabulous mother I am for having such a calm houshold, prayers kiss goodnight
7.30 sit downstairs with fingers crossed and another glass of wine!

LOL nikkim!

I don't usually do routines as such, but bedtime is the one thing that we are strict about and I'm glad we are, with 3 to put to bed now it could take ages if we didn't have a system.

All times are approximate!

6.15 Bath - all 3 in together
6.30 - start getting them out. Massage, nappies and jammies on.

From now on we have a 'no pretending' rule. Dd1 is always pretending to be someone else (mummy/fairy/unicorn/cat etc and can get silly, so we are 'just ourselves' after the bath.

6.45 - supper. Warm drink, cereal or fruit or yoghurt.

Then clean teeth, toilet, hair brushed etc.

Then up to bed. 2 stories, 2-3 songs, prayers, night night kisses and we leave. At this point dd2 gets her last breastfeed and goes to bed. Dd1 and ds have the light on to 'read' for 15 mins, it goes out at 7.15. And thats them until the morning.

Like others have said, its keeping to it that can be the bother - btu I just do my very very best not to let it slip - no pretending, no racing, no jumping on the bed etc - try to keep it all quiet and subdued,a dn it seems to work. If it does start to get a bit loud, then threatening to lose a story or song works - I probbaly threaten that about once a week, but it is over a month since I have had to carry out the threat, as they know I will do it so it calms stuff down nicely.

Sometime around 64 Zoo Lane - depending on whether or not DD2 has done a poo, to be honest - I urge them towards the bath. Preferably together although DD1 is currently objecting, and has got her Imaginary Big Sister to support her on this. Ideally I manage this so that I can avoid the Fimbles but catch 64 Zoo Lane, especially if the crocodile who sounds like Alan Rickman is on. Some time after that get DD2 up the stairs and try her on Literature in guilty manner of mother who has English degree but does not read enough to neglected second child. Give up if DD2 is keener on charging round the room than reading That's Not My Tractor. Wrestle her into her sleeping bag. Tackle DD1, bath her if this is necessary/her father cannot be persuaded to do this, read her up to three stories, get her into bed...

Nikkim, I love your style!

6.55 pm tidy up toys (this is a recent addition and is known as "when the big hand gets to number 11).
7.00 pm upstairs for bath. DH does DS (ie stand over him while he undresses, puts his clothes in the basket, does a wee and finally gets in the bath). I sort out DD. They go in the bath together.
7.15 pm DD out of the bath and into pjs and sleeping bag followed by DS.
7.20 pm DDs breast feed. DS cleans teeth with Daddy then has one story (used to be 3 but has he has got older the books have got longer).
7.30 pm DS comes through and kisses DD and I goodnight, then back into his bedroom turns the light out and DH puts him to bed.
7.45 pm DD finishes breast feed and goes in cot.

If DH is away then DD has to wait for DS's teeth and story before her feed. Although sometimes can manage to get DS out of the bath and sorted/clean teeth with DD still in the bath.

Before DS stopped having naps it used to be a 7.15 to 7.45 routine for him. DS is 3.7 and DD is 5 months. All slightly to pot at the moment because DD has chicken pox.

5.30pm teatime for ds1 (3) and ds2 (15 mths)

6.00pm me and ds1 "special time" - puzzle, dot to dot, drawing, general chill out together time. Ds2 potters around with his toys.

6.30pm half hour of cbeebies for ds1 while I do "special time" with ds2 - get ready for bed, milk, story, songs.

7.00pm ds2 to bed.

7.15pm ds1 tidies up toys, gets special sticker on chart for doing this.

7.30pm pyjamas, then up to bedroom for story and bedtime for ds1. If dh is in he now does this .

I do bathtime in the morning, but am sahm currently, so have the flexibility to do this. If I was having to get us all out at 7.45 in the morning, this would be different!

5-5.30 (depending on whether ds has after school club) - ds (age 5), dd1 (4), dd2 (18months) have dinner

6ish - bath (all 3 together)

6.25 dd2 has story and goes to bed by 6.30
6.35-6.50 dd1 and ds have story and go to bed by 7.

7.15 dh gets home and makes me dinner!!