Lucy Wolfe's sleep solution

[kate288]

Hey! Just wondering if anyone is currently trying this or has used the book previously? I've always been a bit anti 'sleep training' as I know babies are meant to wake during the night as it is developmentally normal. However, I'll be going back to work soon and my 9 month olds sleep is still difficult (waking every 1.5-2 hours during the night) and will only feed back to sleep and I just don't feel I'll be able to function at work! Luckily her naps have really improved recently.

One night during night feeds I decided to buy the book on Amazon and it arrived today, but from giving it a quick skim through it looks quite intense! Just wondering if anyone has used it or if about to start maybe we could use this as a support thread haha.

I hate the idea of my DD being upset but I also need sleeeeeep!

Hows it been going @kate288 has intervals worked any better? I hope your LO is coping a bit better.

@merename yeah I only just realised that there was a bit in the book about intervals. I've just been kind of following a controlled crying (hate that phrase!!) protocol going in 2-10 mins. I think for certain babies it must just help them to settle rather than having their parent there but not picking them up!

@loladisco it's been going much better thanks. Only on night 3 but tonight only took 20 mins (took an hour night 1 and 30 mins last night) and she didn't really cry just a few moans, can't believe it. She stirred about 30 mins after I put her down but managed to settle her self so we're going in the right direction. Feeling much more positive now! Although very aware it might all go wrong again!

How's the sleep going?! I've had the Lucy Wolfe book for ages, but haven't braved it yet! My DD is 6 months in a week, so thinking of moving to own room and starting this at the same time...do you think that's too much change at once? (plus maybe get rid of the dummy as well!!)

Just need to take the plunge, did any of you do any prep before hand, or just start it?!

I know there’s not been posts about this for a couple of months but we’ll be starting the Stay and Support method next week due to 6 month old waking up every 20-30 minutes crying. It’s now just so unsustainable and I don’t feel as though I’m being a good enough mum to him on so little sleep.
He’s EBF and responds much better to me than DH but was wondering of those who have done it did you have your partners do the first few nights? X

Yes my DH did the night's to start with, and I did the naps. It was really hard to stay downstairs and resist the urge to go in and "help". It worked though! Good luck

Oh that sounds so hard. It can just become so untenable. My DH did first nights, mainly because we had just night weaned but maybe you won’t have as yours is a little younger. I think either will work, depends on you and your partner. A friend of mine used a similar method and had to do most of it as her Dh would be inclined to sack it all off if baby cried a bit. DH was more up for it than me, but I actually found the nights he did harder - she sounded more upset when I couldn’t see her. When it was myself I could
See she was angry at the change and complaining, but didn’t seem really upset all the time as I imagined listening from afar. Totally worked for us too. Was challenging at times but so amazing to have a baby that sleeps.

I’m so nervous about starting it but I know that our situation isn’t sustainable now. I know he’ll be screaming with my DH because he always is as he’s so attached to me. I’ll just need to ride it out and think about how it’ll feel to potentially get more than an hours sleep at a time.

My husband did the first 3 nights too, we were in a similar situation with my DD only wanting put down by me. We've cracked put downs as she wil now go down awake with no tears but I find it really hard to be consistent at night so I haven't really followed the plan and still feed 2-4 times a night. But still more manageable than the every 1.5 hours before! I am thinking about night weaning soon (but my DD is 12 months, wouldn't have done it earlier than that) and so will probably need my DH to go in to soothe. But at the moment she still only wants me during the night but again we have only been half heartedly following the approach

First night of doing it and my husband has been upstairs with DS for 50 minutes and there’s been no break in the screaming. I feel like the worst mum in the world.

Aww @Laura1609 it's so so tough! I felt so terrible too. It took almost 2 hours for us the first night, it really is tough. Your not a bad mum though, sleep deprivation is total killer!

Thank you @kate288. He eventually settled after an hour, I thought I’d gone deaf at first! Fingers crossed the next wake up is just a quick feed and back down again 🤞🏻

Good luck @Laura1609 I've still not cracked the during night wake ups and tend to just feed back to sleep but it's lovely being able to put her down without tears and have most of our evening back! By the way night 2 for us was worse than night 1, almost like they realise what's going to happen but after that it got much easier (although there were still ups and downs). Also we found having a solid bedtime routine really helpful and we pretty much do the same thing every night. Let me know how tonight goes!

How did last night go @Laura1609? Hope it wasn't too bad

@kate288 Well, he went to sleep at 8pm, woke up with a little cry at 12.30am but settled himself back down. He then woke up at 3.10am (!) so I fed him and my husband put him back down and he was asleep by about 4am but woke at 5am and had a screaming fit with my husband until finally falling back asleep around 6am until 7.45am!
This morning I put him down for a nap in his cot, awake, and he whinged for about 15 mins while I stayed with him but then fell asleep for an hour and 20 mins. He’s never napped on his own for longer than 45 mins so I’m in total shock!

Wow well done that's amazing! Sounds like he did really well for the first night. That's great about his nap too, I still have to cuddle my 12 month old to sleep for naps before she goes in the cot. Well done! Hope tonight goes well too.

@kate288 well, so far we’re on an hour and he’s still screaming with my husband 😭 I was really hoping tonight would be slightly better but still early days.

Well, it’s night 5 and although the nighttime wake ups are SO much better (we only had one last night!) the screaming at bed time just isn’t getting any better, every night it’s an hour of him getting so upset and I’d really hoped it would have gotten easier by now 😢

Hi Laura, we had the same experience, and unfortunately the bedtime screaming did happen on and off for quite a while. Or rather, bedtimes weren’t so bad for us but nap screaming was awful. I can’t remember how long exactly, but a few weeks. And I wasn’t prepared for how upsetting and difficult I found it, the unpredictability of it all, and how the improved nighttime sleep didn’t fix all my problems! But now, 6/7 months on and she sleeps like a dream, that’s all a distant memory. I found it so hard to see her upset and feel responsible - I would have never let my first baby cry like that - but in hindsight, I probably should have, as in the longer term, I am so much better as a parent now that I get sleep.

Sorry that ramble is probably more about me! But I hope helps. You will all get there.

@Merename Hi, thanks for your reply. Although it breaks my heart to think of a few more weeks of the screaming at least he’s not the only one. It does make me dread putting him to bed though because although he’s now going 7 hours from first falling asleep and then doing another 3/4 hour stretch after a feed I just wish he wasn’t quite so upset. Also makes me wonder how the hell we’ll manage to move away from his cot!

Thought I’d come back with an update. So, we’re no closer to being able to put him in his cot and leave the room. The screaming at bedtime (not so much for naps) is still horrendous, generally takes between 20-60 minutes of him screaming every night. He doesn’t even open his eyes so he doesn’t know I’m there which makes me feel awful and as though we’re letting him cry it out 😭
Once he’s asleep though he’s really asleep, usually going from 7.30ish to 4am for a feed and straight back down until about 7am afterwards. We did have one night of him sleeping through which was mad! I obviously woke at 5am in a blind panic and watched him breathing on the monitor for a while 😂
Naps can be hit and miss, one day he’ll go 45 mins for every nap and the next it will be 1hr+ 🤷‍♀️
So overall sleep is massively improving but we’re still no closer to him being settled and calm at bedtime so I think I might spend more time playing in his room with him as he gets upset just getting ready for bed.

@laura1609 thanks for the update! Although it's still sounding really hard at bed time, that's amazing progress you've made with his sleep. I can only dream of one wake up for my little one 😂 I don't know if it's worth trying but my DD found it much harder with me in the room as she was getting so upset/frustrated that I was there but not picking her up. So I ended up having to leave the room and go back in at intervals which felt horrible but was less upsetting for her. It still took us a good month before she stopped getting upset and even tonight she cried when I put her down eventhough she hasn't done that for a while so it can still be tricky at times. I think tonight was due to being out of routine the past few days due to Christmas/new year. It sounds like your doing a great job! Hopefully your little one will stop getting so upset at bedtime soon x

@kate288 I think we’ll have to try intervals. It’s now night 16 and it took an hour for him to go to sleep and he basically just cried so much he tired himself out. I don’t think he knows I’m even there with him, nothing soothes him other than being picked up (by me, never my husband) but as soon as he’s put down he’s back to screaming so I don’t see the point in picking him up.
The idea of intervals (it’s basically controlled crying isn’t it?) breaks my heart but at the moment I’m wondering if there’s any difference in doing that vs what I’m doing now 😭

Sorry it's been so tough @Laura1609 , yep it's pretty much controlled crying which I never ever though I would do (and still feel a bit sad that we have done it to be honest). But it definitely was less distressing for my LO than being in the room soothing her. Although we've had a tricky few nights, she has been going down awake without a peep for a few months now so I thought we had cracked it but the last few nights we've had over an hour of crying again, even with me soothing her ☹️ as well as lots of night wake ups. I've noticed a big change in her in the last week or so (lots more walking and talking) so I'm thinking its a leap but not sure. This sleep stuff is so tricky!!

Perhaps as your LO is still little maybe it's not the best time and yo could try again in a month or so? I know it's so hard with the sleep deprivation though so I totally feel your pain x

@kate288 Oh that sounds really difficult. They do like to throw us curveballs don’t they?
Weirdly last night he didn’t cry with me at all for the first time but spent 25 minutes shuffling around, throwing his dummy around, looking at the monitor camera (😂) and trying his new trick of attempting to crawl! Then tonight it was back to an hour 🤷‍♀️ For naps he goes down in 5 minutes so I just don’t get it.x