Wtf do I do to get my baby to sleep?!

[discopisco]

He's 11 weeks old, EBF and we co-sleep. I have no issues with any of his behaviour. He's showing all the signs of being tired and then falling asleep (following a feed, laying next to me) but the tiniest of f#cking sounds will wake him up and we're back to square one. I have just spent 3.5 hours trying to get him to sleep. Babies his age are meant to be averaging 15.5 hours every day- he manages 6.5 ALL f#cking day. I've tried slinging, rocking, walking about with him and even f#cking cranial osteopathy. Nothing works. I'm going without food and drink in an attempt when he falls asleep to keep him asleep- eg. The tiniest little jerk and he's up. When I'm next to him, I'll pat him gently until he calms again and falls asleep. However this doesn't always work. What do I do? Other babies his age are looking happy, calm and content- mine looks like a miserable git. He's got bags under his eyes which really upset me. However, I can't do ANYTHING to get him to stay asleep. He used to hate being swaddled, I've managed to get him into a zip up one that he's beginning to tolerate. The room is dark, well ventilated, lit just enough. He's full from a feed (sometimes will throw up because he's had too much) and has had a number of colds already because his immune system is underdeveloped plus he's not getting the rest to fight off the germs. Please help. I dread being around him when it comes to him wanting sleep- I have no life. My husband gets home around 7pm from work and I've already spent hours trying to get him to sleep and then soend the rest of the evening in the bedroom like a hostage trying to get him to sleep. I'm writing this sitting in the bathroom (have left him with the husband) with the shower running and crying my eyes out. What do I do?!

I would really recommended contacting the sleep lady - we used her and she identified that ds actually had cmpa and was able to offer lots of helpful advice. She has a wealth of experience and said 80% of the cases she sees are not sleep issues but either cmpa/ reflux etc. My GP and hv on the other hand were useless. Once we got the milk and reflux sorted he was like a different baby.

I really sympathise. It's hell. And no wonder the poor baby can't shift his cold if he isn't getting into a deep sleep.

Here's a link to her website - useful list of silent reflux symptoms as well
Oh and although you've cut out dairy have you Cut out soya? As both are very similar

www.thesleeplady.co.uk/silent-reflux-tips/

Ah just rtft And well done for contacting GP! If ranitidine doesn't work (it worked for us initially and then stopped after a few weeks - the dose needs to be adjusted with weight gain) then go back and ask for omeprazole. Honestly reflux is horrible horrible horrible

Also I can recommend the reflux wedgehog - get it on amazon or on their website, it really helps to keep their head raised as the acid doesn't come up as easily

The making noise in sleep is definitely reflux related. Ds used to grunt all night long he was very noisy and I couldn't sleep because I kept checking him!
Other tips is to avoid feeding him and putting straight down. You need to keep baby upright for 20 mins after a feed at a minimum.

Also feeding toooften is another reflux sign - feeding actually helps soothe it but what happens is they then overfeed and get more reflux as a result!

Once the medication kicks in then it will all start to fall into place.

My baby was not a keen daytime sleeper. Cat naps here and there. So rather than trying to force him into a routine that wasn't natural to him, I tried to work with him. I've never tried to put him in his cot for a nap - I can't think of anything more stressful, for either of us, then trying to force a reluctant baby to sleep to order. If he seemed tired then I either cuddled him in a rocking chair or put him in the pram (so gave him the opportunity to sleep). If he slept, then he slept. If not, no problem, cuddles and walking are nice. He's nearly two now and has never had a nap in his cot.

To encourage night sleeping (if he wasn't get much in the day I wanted him to get as much as possible at night) I tried to encourage his circadian rhythm - lots of bright daylight and outdoor time throughout the day (including when he was napping - I wanted him to learn that there was a marked difference between his daytime short naps and his nighttime long sleep). And dark and quiet at night.

At 11 weeks old he was easily awake for 6 hours at a time in the day. It was just his rhythm.

Oh, and when he was tiny he used to cry when he was put down at night. I started putting him down awake and continuing to cuddle him whilst his back was on the mattress - so I'd lean over the side of his cot, hug him on either side with my arms, and put my head on his tummy. Made it easier to move away when he then fell asleep, rather than jolting him awake by putting him down already asleep.

@discopisco the congestion symptoms sound really like dairy intolerance/CMPA. Hopefully you’ll see the paediatrician soon.

Glad your GP has listened xx

How are you doing OP?

Dr suggesting no walks sounds like a tit. Get out there! Wrap him up (sounds like he was toasty!), and pound the pavements. No one cares about babies crying outside, I promise! A walk and an adult convo with your husband sounds lovely.

Glad the white noise is working better. Keep that volume up!

You are doing a superb job.

I know I’m late to the party but just wanted to say I ABSOLUTELY understand how you’re feeling - and if it makes you feel any better you’re doing a darn sight better than I ever did with naps - by your DS’s age my DD either napped once (in a continuously moving vehicle - as in even stopping at traffic lights was risky so had to tactically choose routes/alter speed to miss as many as possible 🙄) or not at all, in spite of literally constant effort! Echo all of the above however about getting yourself and baby outside - daylight is hugely important for encouraging normal circadian rhythm and differentiating daytime and nighttime sleep. Also excellent for your own sanity! And also second white noise, and trying to some extent to get on with normal activities as far as possible - there is NOTHING wrong with a baby crying in public - and the added bonus of breastfeeding is at least you’ve got the necessary settling equipment with you at all times! DD is now the 2 year old toddler of dreams, in spite of being an ABSOLUTE nightmare until just after she turned one. You can do this 💪🏼💪🏼 - but only if you look after yourself!