Wtf do I do to get my baby to sleep?!

[discopisco]

He's 11 weeks old, EBF and we co-sleep. I have no issues with any of his behaviour. He's showing all the signs of being tired and then falling asleep (following a feed, laying next to me) but the tiniest of f#cking sounds will wake him up and we're back to square one. I have just spent 3.5 hours trying to get him to sleep. Babies his age are meant to be averaging 15.5 hours every day- he manages 6.5 ALL f#cking day. I've tried slinging, rocking, walking about with him and even f#cking cranial osteopathy. Nothing works. I'm going without food and drink in an attempt when he falls asleep to keep him asleep- eg. The tiniest little jerk and he's up. When I'm next to him, I'll pat him gently until he calms again and falls asleep. However this doesn't always work. What do I do? Other babies his age are looking happy, calm and content- mine looks like a miserable git. He's got bags under his eyes which really upset me. However, I can't do ANYTHING to get him to stay asleep. He used to hate being swaddled, I've managed to get him into a zip up one that he's beginning to tolerate. The room is dark, well ventilated, lit just enough. He's full from a feed (sometimes will throw up because he's had too much) and has had a number of colds already because his immune system is underdeveloped plus he's not getting the rest to fight off the germs. Please help. I dread being around him when it comes to him wanting sleep- I have no life. My husband gets home around 7pm from work and I've already spent hours trying to get him to sleep and then soend the rest of the evening in the bedroom like a hostage trying to get him to sleep. I'm writing this sitting in the bathroom (have left him with the husband) with the shower running and crying my eyes out. What do I do?!

Sounds like your little man is struggling to settle as he's over tired. Are you trying to put him down as soon as he's asleep? Babies I'll be in a light sleep for about 20 mins so will wake if there sate sudden noises.

If you can, I'd either let him sleep on you, bobbing on and off the boob in his sleep and keep him there as long as you can to try and catch up a bit. Get some snacks, phone charger and have a rest.

My dd is almost six months and she's still downstairs with me in the evenings. We settle down about 7.15 once toddler is tucked up and she falls asleep on me, go up to bed about 9 when she's in a deep sleep and I grab a little snack then. We then co-sleep, it's un comfortable but it means I get a fairly good and so does she.

During the day I try get her to sleep a couple of hours after she's woken for 30 mins usually in the buggy in the dining room or in the car. I aim to go out for a walk around lunchtime, wrap her up nice and warm, lay her back and she nods off. She will stir at. 45 mins and at this point keep pushing that buggy till she goes back and into a nice deep sleep. Then I find a coffee shop and park myself down for a well deserved drink and she will stay asleep for a good hour or so. Then we aim for another 30 min nap in the afternoon depending on what time she wakes.

It's a pain somedays having to go for a walk but I'd rather do that and have a well rested baby than have her overtired and crying.

Sorry for the typos I should have previewed that post!

Beansprout, perhaps as my DS gets older he will go into another sleep cycle in the buggy or on me downstairs, but if the OP's baby is anything like mine, he will not go over 45 minutes, usually less if I accidentally move or make a noise (for example, once when I pressed the home button on my iPhone it woke him) and once he's awake he is usually wide awake and ready to go! I think they probably get better the older they get though and he is starting to improve so I'm crossing my fingers for better naps soon!

Yes that will come, sleep changes so much in the first year, I think the Buggy is a good place to start with encouraging them to link sleep cycles, until then, keep going with short and regular naps to avoid overtired baby

I've always put mine to bed awake so they learn to self soothe . I think this is the key to getting babies to sleep . I always put them to bed with some music on so they dropped off on their own . Always had a bedtime routine and 7 was always bedtime regardless of what I was doing .

DS was similar - it sounds like you're doing great and it DOES get easier eventually.
Stuff we tried:
Pram until he fell asleep then put it in the kitchen next to the cooker hood on full to keep him asleep.
Hairdryer on max next to his bouncy chair
Walking up and down stairs with him in the sling, or doing a sort of box step dance and swinging him to sleep.
Cosleeping lying on side so I could roll away when he was asleep (lifesaver).
Car seat, 70mph on dual carriageway worked best.
An app called sleep genius, it worked just as well as white noise and I didn't find it unbearable to listen to.
Drastically lowered standards with housework.
Hope you find something that works!

Not sure if anyone’s said it but a swinging chair saved us those early days!! honestly best money we’ve spent, it’s a joie one swings side to side or forwards/backwards have it in the kitchen when I need to clear up/eat or lounge when I want to watch TV / chill and the baby to nap. Only way LO would nap alone at first, would nap for 2 hours in it sometimes - a godsend!

Hi OP. I really feel your pain. My 10 month old was just like this, and is still a shit sleeper but much easier to settle and goes to bed easily. Some babies are just cat nappers - especially at this age.

Just to echo what other posters have said ... I would definitely investigate reflux. Congestion is actually a sign of poorly controlled reflux as is being easily disturbed/startled while sleeping. Maybe talk to your GP about trying some ranitidine.

Oh forgot to add, the swing was a LIFE-SAVER for us. It's the only way we could get her to nap for months

How are things now OP?

Hope you've had a better day today OP... Have you managed to get out for a walk?

Hello ladies, an update:

I rang the GP and she also suspected silent reflux after I mentioned it (thank you for being so astute and sign posting me as to what it might be) and has prescribed Renatidine. We collect that today hopefully and I hope and pray it works.

I also mentioned baby's on-going cold and congestion- we just don't seem to be able to clear it. She's referred us onto a Paediatrician to check his sinuses (DH suffers badly too- not sure if it's linked).

We did take him for a late night walk- me and DH loved it as the baby fell asleep (YAY!) and we managed to catch up on life (we have felt like ships in the night because I'm usually locked in our bedroom forcing the baby to sleep and DH is tiptoeing around our badly soundproofed flat). That was lovely but I noticed baby whimpered a lot in the night- what could that be? Could the cold air have made him feel worse? (He was in a snowsuit with the rain cover down and when I put my hand in, it was nice and toasty inside the bassinet). The Dr suggested I keep him indoors until he's over the cold...

Another thing, I've started to give the baby 20 mins to calm down (if he's crying) when I'm trying to soothe him to sleep. If not, I'm bringing him out to the living area until he's showing signs of wanting to go back to sleep and then bringing him back. He's still exhausted but at least I'm not calling him names in my head and/or wanting to run away and not come back!

Another thing, when he's asleep, he's stirring constantly and making 'uh' 'uh' sounds- it sounds as if he's awake and unhappy but he's still got his eyes closed. He also has a lot of trapped wind and farts a lot but I'm petrified of picking him up and winding him in case he fully wakes up and screams the place down. Wwyd? Pick him up and burp him or leave him be?

I feel so sad for the baby and how I can't help him. He's the only baby I've known who yawns the minute he opens his eyes from a nap :/

Also, I've realised I can't just take him for a nap/sleep at the first signs of tiredness (yawning/rubbing his ears/burying his face in my shoulder/chest, etc) as that takes hours. I have to wait until he's crying and squirming. That makes me feel bad too :/ and when he's fussing at the breast, I'm now blasting the white noise- it's worked 2 times out of 3. Thank you for putting me straight on that! Should I leave the white noise playing for the duration of his nap though or turn it down/off once he's nodded off?

My 7 week old makes a lot of noise when she's sleeping including the farting but I just leave her be! She'll let me know if she needs me and I think that she can get the wind out when she's asleep rather then getting distressed by it when she's awake. Glad to hear that you have a plan and are trying the ranitidine hope it al works and he (and you) gets some sleep.

I had a meerkat light sleeping baby too. I hope things start to get better with the medication from the GP.

This might not work for you but when my DD got into the over tired cycle I would spend the day feeding and letting her nap on me on the sofa to try and reset things.

I'm glad to hear the GP has prescribed Ranitidine for you to try...it was like a magic potion for us

My son was like yours until it was prescribed and he now sleeps 10-7 pretty much every night (he's also 11 weeks), it literally saved my sanity

Hope it has the same effect for you!

We used the sound sleepr app for white noise, mountain river most of the time but pulled out the big guns when baby was unsettled (womb or car). On all night, quite loud.

Glad you've had some progress! Regarding the ignoring first cues thing - we had this with feeding, if I tried to feed DD at the first cues she just refused and messed about, she had to be on to later cues for it to work.

I used to try to wind DD near the end of a feed when she was looking sleepy and pop her back in to fall asleep, because winding after her woke her up all the way and that was that.

It was a bit hit and miss, too soon and she'd be windy, too late and she wouldn't fall asleep, but it got better with practice. I'm sure you'll figure out what works for you, they really are all different.

Feel free to join us here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/3398261-Parents-of-Criers-Support-Thread-Respite-from-the-Screaming
Mine is 7 months now and still awful, you are not alone.

@polkadotpixie - your post gives me so much hope! Fingers, toes and everything else crossed!

@HermioneWaslib - lol at big guns! Ours is a one trick pony the white noise only I'm afraid. Every other sound distracts him and defeats the objective!

@Frlrlrubert- glad mine isn't the only 'late cuer'. I was beginning to think I was being really mean but you the nail on the head EE: messing about. The amount of time mine has latched on/off and/or wrestled my nipple is seriously frustrating!

@WTFdidwedo - done! Glad I'm not alone!

White noise on loud. And continuous- it should be on throughout the whole night. Won't damage ears - it'll be fine. Also, we have always had the room totally dark - as in, black out. Baby used to basically just get bored to sleep.

We did a bedtime routine from literally a couple of weeks old and it worked well. Half Bottle downstairs, warm bath, moisturise and massage and into pjs and sleeping bag then do the second half of bottle in the dark. My baby attached himself to a Muslin and it's his little comforter and helped him self soothe when he was tiny - perhaps try one of your tops as a cuddly.

OP, so glad you've had your baby checked for silent reflux. My eldest was very similar to how you described! Wouldn't nap in the day unless held but thankfully at night he slept for ages (think he was exhausted!). He was also very nasal and snotty. I think he perhaps had something like cows milk protein allergy because he always had loads of spots I was told was just baby acne and now he has asthma.

What helped with my eldest was ranitadine and weaning early. Once his reflux got better he slept better. He always slept better when he wasn't flat, so liked the car seat and we raised his cot at an angle. We always had to keep him upright for ages after a feed, was probably at least half and hour to an hour before he could be laid down after feeding.

It's not a nice time. The first four months of his life were very dark days for me. But we got through it.