We're still not sleeping

[Meepmoop]

New thread for those whose babies are avoiding sleeping through.

My DS is now 11 months old today..

Hi all. I haven't posted on here for months. Sorry to see some of the originals still having trouble. My DS is now 9mo. He had a few good weeks but now it seems a holiday and this hit weather has thrown him out of whack. He wont and i say WONT go to sleep without cuddles and or the boob all of a sudden and like PP will punch kick and scream otherwise. Last night was another evry 40min jobby. I am absolutely broken today. Whats worse is I an trying t o arrange return to work stuff and feel like this week has been ruined by being constantly tired and the constant drain of getting DS to sleep.

He looks Like he has teeth coming through too. What do you do - calpol and hope your right? Try sleep training? cuddle and feed to sleep because they beed comfort?? Its so, so difficult to know what to do.

Teary day here. for you all in same boat xx

Jellybabie, sorry to hear you are so down. I recognise your name from the sept due date thread and on here - my son is having a few sleep/ nap issues at the moment and I’m blaming wonder week 7, so maybe take a look at that for reassurance if you subscribe to WW theory.

I find baby neurofen way more effective than calpol for teeth. Hope you and your son have a better day tomorrow

Hi

Yeah its defo a nasty combo of ww7 teething (i count top 4 coming through at the same time ) and some sleep associations creeping in. Its just took an hour to get him down albeit hes had only 30min naps today so hes overtired too. Hes screamed in my face like rabid dog. Awful. I gave him some ibroprofen so hopefully if it is teething it will keep him down.

Today though hes absolutely mastered crawling at speed and pulled himself to stand for the first time. Hes also spoke his first non mamma/dadda word this week so hes developmentally flying atm. I cant imagine how confusing it is for him. Just wish you could tell them that sleep would make them feel so much better!!

Fx we will have a better day tomorrow.

@Jellybabie3 going through exact same thing. Mine is 10 months. I'm facing the same dilemmas. I just don't know what to do... Teething wise calpol and there's suppose to be some good granules that you can buy in pharmacy! My DD can't try them because they have lactose but give them a try! I heard good feedback from other mums about it.
Mine just slept 45min (after putting up a fight, always) and woke up crying. I came to pick her up and cuddle, but she kept screaming her lungs like something was seriously wrong. I gave her the boob and she shut up. On the breast now. Whoever hears this crying thinks I'm hiting her or leaving her alone to cry. No, I'm right here...
I return to work on the 23rd July... Haven't managed to settle all details. She did an hour alone in nursery today. Monday she will do a morning. That will be the real challenge.... Doesn't surprise me if I get there and she hasn't slept at all... Then she should start a full day... How will she manage?! How will they manage her?!
Any experiences about bad sleepers in nursery? And how that impacted nights?
God help me! Sleep was never worse!!

Sorry to read so much suffering. Sorry you are back with us @jellybabie, it never ends does it!

DS currently fighting sleep despite being awake since 1.30pm and obviously massively tired. I'm getting so frustrated! I'm also upset because this weekend is my birthday and I'd (naively) made plans for it. Nothing big, just a meal out on the evening with DH. Parents to look after both DC. We would only be out two hours at the most. Well, DH is ill with a very bad tummy bug, and the way DS is right now, no way can I expect my elderly parents to deal with it. So I'm cancelling it.

I know it's a small thing and of course there will be other birthdays. But I was so looking forward to it. DS is 8 months now and me and DH have had no opportunity to go out as a couple. I was excited about putting a nice non bf friendly dress on and being us again, even just for a couple of hours! I'm so fed up that we are at this point and i still can't leave DS. He won't take a bottle and sleep is awful, even though he's loving solid food and is crawling and pulling himself up - no chance of him tiring himself out! That boy does not stop!

So yes. Feeling very sorry for myself and exhausted. With DH being ill it's all on me with the childcare and it's taking its toll. Not for the first time, I'm in complete awe of single parents...

Oh but in good news, nursery sorted our DD's naps out! With so many of them in a routine and doing the same thing, you'll be amazed at how quickly they get it - we honestly had no daytime nap issues again

Bartos yes, we also had no issues with napping at nursery, which frankly amazed me. It took him a couple of weeks to fully settle then his key worker could just pop him in his cot and he'd sleep (whereas I'd be pacing his room holding him...)

@frozenmargarita17 how is nursery and napping going for you? I remember you were worried about it and I said it had been fine for us. I hope it's going ok for you too.

I thought I should post an update as I was catching up on the thread and could really identify with what many of you were saying about not feeling able to do any sleep coaching because of the fear of them crying and the inability to be up for hours in the night. I felt exactly the same. My DS is now 15 months and we started a plan with a sleep consultant a couple of weeks ago. It was a last resort for me, I'd hoped he would start sleeping better on his own, but any improvements were only temporary and he'd started getting molars which had made things worse than ever. DH and I are both working and we couldn't go on any longer. Anyway.... There's been barely any crying from DS and his sleep improved immediately... And he's now (after 16 nights of the plan) basically sleeping through and we've dropped all night feeds (before he'd wake at least 3 or 4 times a night, have milk whenever and sleeping on or with us was the only way we could get him to settle). I'm not at all saying this is something people should do but I just wanted to share my experience as I was very afraid of doing it and it has been so much easier than I thought. Even when I have had to sit by his cot for an hour or two in the night, that's been easier for us than our attempts to settle him before when he was awake. It could be that he's a good age for it, but I've been really surprised by how well he's learned to self settle. Happy to provide more info if anyone is interested, we've basically done standard gradual retreat method, but I really needed the consultant to ensure I would stick to it

Hi all I know I’ve let a couple of you know but I used a sleep consultant and within three nights my little girl was sleeping through and it changed our lives. My little girl was 6 months old when we did it but I know they start from newborn up until 7 years old. They also work with newborns and up to 6 months to reduce the number of wakes and help with naps xx

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs happy birthday! Totally right to be upset. It's not a little thing. It's something really meaningful! I hope you took a chance at having a quite meal with your husband and to use the non BF dress!
@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs @kiwiblue I hope it goes for her as well. Just now I've spend 40 min trying to get her to nap. She really fights it. I had a meltdown while trying to get her to sleep. Her Muslim now basically is used to dry my tears and blow my nose I'm such a mess.
Regarding using a sleep consultant. I'm really considering it. I thought I could t sort it out but now with all these changes, holidays abroad, followed by start at nursery followed next week by my return at work I have no idea when and how to do it. She is sleeping worse each day. Taking longer to settle. It's a nightmare, day and night.
I keep thinking I won't ever have a normal life again and that my career will be ruined because I'll be to tired to think properly.
Thanks for those who shared your (positive) experience regarding nursery! Fingers crossed!

whoate sorry to hear about your birthday. We had a similar thing when DS was 8 months old. I felt the same as you, that we'd had no time together as a couple. I'm glad to say things have improved since then. I hope you get another chance to celebrate.

Bartos I actually found going back to work wasn't as bad as I thought. You manage somehow. I think the mental break actually helps some of the time. That said, I would really recommend a sleep consultant. I never thought I'd use one but it's been so helpful and really improved the sleep (and our situation was really bad). I think having a definite plan you have to follow makes all the difference. Hope things improve for you soon.

@kiwiblue thank you for sharing your experience! I am very keen to go back to work. I enjoy working! I am very concerned that sleep deprivation will affect my performance though...plus I've signed up for new challenges and I think if I do well it could really help my career develop. I feel a lot of pressure to do well.
Today has been really emotional. DH saw me crying. I've been really really stressed. She is taking so long to settle and wakes up so malt times that I feel desperate.
I am reading about the method you are using. I read it's more efficient in older babies... I am trying to see if it's applicable for my 10 months. Do you know if sleep consultant said something about what age should be used for?
Can I ask if your husband was involved, or was it always you staying /going to baby?
I used controlled crying before, but today I was reading more about it in Gina Ford book and God I'm not able to do what she advises. At a certain point it says to leave baby until 45min have passed, without checking on baby. 45min!! Crying unattended! I could never!
HV is coming this Thursday to help me. I am even ashamed. All the improvements we had done totally disappeared. We are back at square one!

The sleep consultant we used worked from any age but as long as your baby is over 14 pounds and has doubled their birth weight (usually around 5 months) they can sleep through the night: otherwise they tweak it to allow for feeds but instead of waking say every two hours like mine did, they wake twice (or once or however many times they need) for a feed xx

My husband helped and we did alternate nights but she slept through by night three. Also there is no controlled crying with the consultant I used. Is much more gentle xx

Hi bartos - I know what you mean about work, I've been afraid of making a mistake while sleep deprived and I have felt my brain has not been at full capacity!

Our sleep consultant did say she uses the pick up put down method in babies up to around 8-10 months (as I asked if we would use this method and she said no as too stimulating for babies of my DS' age). Then after that our method. She does not recommend controlled crying which is good as I definitely couldn't do it. She actually said in her experience other methods have better long term success, plus are less stressful.

My husband was involved, although consultant recommended we split the bedtime and night wakings consistently at first (so I did all bedtime for a while; we had set feed times overnight at first which we then dropped). Sometimes I think DS actually settles better for DH in the night.

You have nothing to be ashamed of, although I can relate as I was the same. We'd been doing ok, then DS got four molars in a month and we'd regressed to probably the worst his sleep ever was. I was almost embarrassed to tell anyone about it.

I totally get the stress. A couple of weeks ago another mum at swimming told me how her son (similar age to mine) slept 11 hours overnight without waking. It made me want to cry as I realised how much easier my life would be if that was the case- work, relationship, ability to parent, everything! I also found the bedtime battles almost worse than the night wakings by the end of it as I hated having no evening.

It will get better and you will get through this. If you want any further info feel free to PM me. I have to say I love your sense of humour, your posts are so funny and cheered me up many a time when I was having a bad day, so thank you

Hi all, please can I join?! I have 8 month old DS2 who is a terrible sleeper and it just get seems to get worse! I am a bit broken and feel like there might be safety in numbers! DS1 was a great sleeper and fortunately still is so this has all come as a real shock! Sympathy to all exhausted parents out there Zzz

Such a shitty night here. DS just will not settle! It's 2am and i haven't been to sleep yet. Even on me he won't sleep! He's obvs tired but has only managed a 30 min stretch so far tonight.

I'm losing my mind and losing my temper. I really fucking hate this. How can he be so incredibly awful at sleep, I don't know anyone else who has a baby who fights sleep this much? I'm wondering if it's worth going to the GP, surely something must be wrong here?

Sleep consultant would be lovely but we don't have that kind of money! Plus getting DS to nap when he doesn't want to is impossible so if their advice is to stick to a timed nap routine, it isn't something we could do.

I can't go on like this.

@bartos do let me know if the HV is any help. Considering calling mine but all they did last time was offer me counselling which was fuck all use in getting my baby to sleep.

Tried pick up put down. It just over stimulates him and I don't have the energy to keep with it.

Might just stay awake now till 6 when I can hand him over to DH. There is no point in me trying to sleep, he will only keep waking.

People whose babies sleep well have no idea how lucky they are.

My son for some inexplicable reason decided to wake up every 40mins on the dot last night. Why why why? He’s a bad sleeper but never done that before. We had an action packed day so he must have been tired. We are half way through wonder weeks leap 7 - does this leap cause such huge sleep regression?

Sorry there's been some rubbish nights. DS is still waking for 2 hours at a time at night. It's really starting to get to me.

I'm going to night wean now as the only reason I haven't was it made him go back to sleep. It does not work now. I just have to be squirmed on until he falls asleep.

In exciting news though DS has taken his first steps this week! His birthday party is on Sunday so it'll be his party trick

@kiwiblue thank you! :) it is nice to know I express my misery in an humorous way :D I cannot think of being funny!! I was trying, but my memory is basically non existing at this point... its good to have each other support, that's definitely true.
Thanks for sharing about the sleep consultant. I'm really leaning to get one. I'll contact you for more info. if we decide to try it!
11 hours?!! Lucky parents! No idea what's raising a baby! What did we do?? Were we stressed when we made our babies, on a rush?! bah! We deserve that everything else in our lives goes nice and easy!

@WhoAteAllthePercyPigs did you get some sleep in the end? Hope so!! Not sure about something being medically wrong with our babies. But definitely contact HV and GP and say how much is disrupting your lifes! I did all of that. GP say "it's a baby, it's normal!", "well you suck!! Is that normal?!" (didn't say it but thought it). HV has visited me twice. I can't say it has helped, but at least it gives me venting time and if this really carry on for many years she can probably get her referred to a sleep clinic. I hope I don't need that though. Can't conceive being another 2 years like this.
My advise is blow all the horns! Hopefully someone will listen to you and get you some support!
Hope night goes better today!

@Meepmoop well done for baby first steps!! let us know how night wean goes. Mine is also waking up 2/2h,hourly, 40/40 min, I don't even know anymore and want the breast every time! In the end of the night I no longer have breasts, just flat balloons...
Good luck with night weaning and I hope 1year birthday brings many good nights sleep!

Thank you @Bartos I really hope it does. I'll let you know how it goes. Probably not very well.

Just had an absolute battle to get DS asleep even though he refused his afternoon nap. I did loose my temper though and had to put him in his cot and walk away. I can't believe I've had a year of this and it's not getting better.

@Meepmoop same here. Its unbelievable. I hope we don't have to put up with another year like this sleep(less) wise. It took me 45 min to get DD to sleep. She slept one hour and woke up crying. Held her for a bit now and manage to get her in the cot. Let's see if she does another hour, doubt it. What it it that wakes her constantly??
Good luck for all you wonder women just trying to survive!

Hi all, bumped into the new thread, been a few months since I looked, sad to see some familiar names, if you know what I mean! So my little boy is 14 months now, sleep continues to be a wonky donkey. This heatwave is lush but it doesn't exactly help matters!

3.5yo has a knack of needing a wee in the middle of any decent sleep blocks too!