Sleep is for the Weak! we got too big?!!??!?!!??

[cruisemum1]

can you believe that?! we got too big?
we should surely get an award from Mumsnet?

Tapster, crossed posts. Those HV's are rubbish aren't they? We're still doing four milk feeds and three square meals at nearly 10 months. I don't know about you but my LO won't eat if she's not hungry so what's the big deal. Your lo might be a little and often person so I wouldn't worry about it.

ginger just 'saw' cruise on another thread for early risers.wanted to hijack and say 'you can come back to us if you like...i though not! '
Hi cruise if you see this

thought

Morning. Tapster for your good night. How I look back longingly on those early weeks when LO would only wake 2 or 3 times a night! Seems eminently doable compared with recent standards.

Anyway last night wasn't toooo bad. Bed at 8, crying/flailing at 9.30 but settled with a shush, fed at 11, fed at 1.30ish, then DH came to bed and (as predicted) snored his head off til I sent him to the sofa around 2.30. Then I got what seems like a good couple of hours' sleep til 4.30, then he was unsettled til 6 (not awake all the time but I was up shushing and putting the dummy in quite a lot), slept til 7, then in bed with me til 8.

Doesn't sound that great when I put it like that, but I feel OK this morning.

Tam, yes I've 'seen' her lurking about on the early riser threads. Ha serves her right for having a baby that sleeps all night

we've got the worlds biggest whinger today ... must be teeth. i've given him cold melon to suck on and its keeping him a little bit quiet. ah, so tired.

Afternoon all.

tam, amber. Hope you are getting some rest today (highly unlikely, I know).

Our night was great - only woke at 1am. But our day started at 5, so I'm still knackered. Ginger - I hadn't thought about the clocks going back . Not looking forward to that one.

Tamdin - I hope things go ok for the LO at Granny's, and that you get a chance to enjoy your break

hello bags, good night, but for the 5am. when are the bloody clocks going back? not soon is it? i thought it would be in autumn sometime won't it?

Dunno Amber - to be honest i'm not sure what day it is half the time. September maybe?

ah, rest is for the weak. a strong cup of coffee later and i'm powering through the day! have become obsessed with facebook, sigh. will i ever get anything done.

Has anyone here tried GW/GR? I keep feeling like I ought to be doing something to help DS self-settle, instead of hoping that his sleep will get better by itself. But could never do CC.

TBH I am so desperate for sleep that I wouldn't even mind him sleeping all night with a dummy if it worked; trouble is that although it's great for settling, he can't keep it in or put it back in so you end up with yet more trips to the cot to put it back in...

Meg, yes me and Tibsy are doing it although speaking personally I'm not consistent enough. It is the milpond clinic's technique i think. Basically you start with rocking to sleep, then holding to sleep, holding in the cot to sleep, holding hands, standing next to the cot etc etc until you gradually retreat out of the room. It is a long slow process because each stage may take a few days maybe even weeks and I found that I reached a stage and then had to back track a bit.

The one thing I've learned while following these 'techniques' is that one thing works one day and then not the next. My DD can settle herself to sleep at 7pm but is then awake screaming her head off at 8 and doesn't settle for the rest of the night yet other nights I've held her hand and she's slept for hours without stiring. I really don't get it.

There will be a time when your lo can put the dummy back in themselves but for a while it was my saviour and the bane of my life all at the same time.

I have realised, if it's any comfort, that my DD is not having the dummy half as much anymore. I don't give it to her during the day unless she's inconsolable with teething. or sleeping. If we're out and she creates I put her in the sling which usually stops her crying.

amber and ginger thanks for that. i do think its more out of habit/comfort and yes, i do feel like a big dummy sometimes i dont mind having her in bed with us although i did kick her out this a.m at 3ish cos i woke up and she was taking up so much room
i think because she is so wee (between 2nd and 9th centile) i dont want to deprive her of anything iyswim, but shes just nibbling rather than taking a substantial feed. guess i'll have to pull my socks up

meg, yes, as ginger says we're doing the gr/gw. its not as fast as cc, but more manageable if you dont do crying we've had some great results, but as ginger, i'm a bit slack sometimes and, yes, teething, illness etc puts us back a bit too

went back to bed with dd this afternoon, as am so tired, but just cant sleep, so have given up. early night for me i think

Ginger/Tibs, is there a book or website that tells you how to do it in detail?

Also what is the best time to start? DS is 4 months and sleep only gone haywire in the last 3 weeks, so I'm hoping it's just the old 4-month sleep regression and he'll get over it soon, but was thinking of maybe giving it til 6 months and then trying something concrete, even if to make myself feel better about trying to help his sleep!

Meg, I think that sounds about right. You might find that things settle down in there own way before that anyway. I haven't followed any strict patter just kind of made it up to suit myself but using the principle of gradually trying to break the contact. My DD has never een one to be held to sleep anyway so I felt like I started a couple of points up but she does like me to hold her hand so we've gone from that to standing by the cot and then sitting on a chair next to the cot. This has taken sometime tho and like Tibsy says any number of things can set us back (from what others have said CC isn't a guarantee all the time either) anyway, I don't think there is any harm in you applying the principles and seeing how you go. Basically I guage moving to the next stage on the amount of crying. If it's proper mega meltdown I don't move on and if it's just a moan or protest then I stand my ground. Having said that, I have found that I have only recently been able to differentiate those crys with any real confidence.

I think the key to any of these techniques is consistency which given sleep deprivation and the emotional wrench that it is, is easier said than done.

Tibs, I think it's really sweet that you and DD can sleep with her latched on. The ultimate in comfort. If it works for you both then what's the harm.

Hey, do you think Tam is out enjoying herself yet? Hope she enjoys herself

this is what i'm following meg x

meg, i think LO's sleeping settled down about 5 months, can't say whether its anything we did or not. we just kept slowly persevering with trying to teach him to self settle. sometimes now, he does wake up and puts himself back to sleep. we still have our share of bad nights, but there seem to be some better ones as well. and its not so bad as when he'd wake every 1-2 hours all night.
its hard to say whether you need to do something or nothing. it could be just time or could be time + the cumulative effort of trying to help them sleep better on their own clear as mud? i thought so.

thanks ginger, i guess i'm just having a paranoia attack atm!

yeah, i bet tam is all glammed up with somewhere to go, unlike us saddos

Tam, hope you're having a fab night

No real improvement here, apart frmo getting DS to sleep (easier) and naps (longer). Hope it will have aa knock on effect on wakings soon

I really must get to bed, so good night all

hi all you'll all be dozing atm...hopefully and i've just gotten home! had fab night. delicious food and then some drinks and dancing at bar/club. ds waved me off at 5pm and i text mum at least 3 times between 5-9 to see if he was ok. he was still up at 10.30 (normally goes to bed 7-8) so mum was off to bed herself with him to see if that would work (dad banished to spare room!)
am planning to go collect him about 11 tomorrow but until then dh and i have the apartment to ourselves.................

ps thanks for thinking of me. might be the booze but touched that you care X

nah, we're just jealous that you got to go out! kidding, hope you really had a great time and a good sleep in. please report back on what time your ds actually went to bed!

morning girlies and tam.
hope you manage to have a lie in today. we want all the goss on your little man later

hope everyone else managed to have a good night.
ours was improved, woke just as i was getting in to bed at 10.30 so brought her in with me (was hoping to have the bed to myself for a couple of hours as dp was out on a stag night, grrr!!) anyway, i fed her then, although she was just nibbling. she woke again at 12 so i tried cuddling her back to sleep,...it worked! then nothing til 4ish up at 6.45am for day. well done dd!!!!

am off to meet bf in town this afternoon to window shop and grab a coffee or sneaky glass of vino remember those days, long leisurely boozy lunches?.............. just me then

yaawn - still lots of wakings for us, but temoporary blackouts meant that DS didn't wake properly till about 8 so I managed to snooze till relatively late

Hope Tam is still in bed and her mum didn't arrive with DS at the crack of dawn

Glad you had a good night Tibs