The non-sleepers are still not sleeping

[NinaMarieP]

New thread, guys!

Comforters are great, both my kids love theirs, it's really helped my ds now he's started nursery and my 3.5yo still has hers for bed.

Missonhartbaby I feed ds back to sleep too, but when I go to bed I cosleep and feed lying down so I don't have to get up.
Haypanky good to hear comforters helped you too...will definitely start doing this.

How is everyone getting on?

Last night was better, back to normal. Was talking to a friend (her baby doesn't sleep either) at baby group yesterday when we realised that we'd talked about 30mins of sleep in the evening as a good block...how sad is that.

@Missonhartbaby well, the bottle did the trick for one night only. Maybe it was just a coincidence... Yesterday I gave her the breast only cause night before had been bad as usual. This night was bad as well. It seems she is uncomfortable, tummy or wind. I'm again giving her laxative once a day because she got constipated, so I'm hoping once her poo is soft again she will sleep better. Also she really, really struggles to burp. Even giving her gripe water before feeding, overnight is really difficult... Day time she moves a lot and eventually they come out. But night burps just get stuck and then she keeps waking up. She had a poo I think around 5ish and after she settled better until 8h. She has been going down really late, around 9pm,because she is sleeping a lot (for her) during day.
Due to bad nights sleep we both wake up exhausted, she slept yesterday nearly 2h30 in the morning, in a row!! Why can't she at night?! And then 1 hour and a bit in the afternoon waking once in the middle. Then at night she only calmed down after having a poo. She has such a sensitive tummy!!
I use to always have to feed her to sleep. It's better but still far from ideal. I read to try to dissociate that we should move the feedings a bit earlier from going to bed. So for example, feeding, changing nappy, sleeping bag, cot. Or feeding, story time, sleeping bag, cot. I always feed her during day with lights on, even before going to bed at night, so that she doesn't fall asleep on the breast. Slowly she seems to be loosing that habit. But if something is bothering her she needs the breast, and she will scream until I get there. In those situations DH feels really hopeless. How is you baby doing Missonhartbaby? Last post was pretty good! I hope he continues to improve!

There's a thread on here, 'you know you're tired when...', I can't work out how to link it, but it's made me cry laughing, in an oh no, that sounds like me kind of way!!!

@bartos oh no! I'd hoped the bottle was working for you!
You dont think she has an allergy to anything does she if her tummy so sensitive... Or has she always been like that? My DS did get some really hard stools when we started weaning and he slept awful then cos he was in pain but I make sure to give him alot of fruit and he will drink some water now so that helps!
Well... I don't want to jinx it but last night he slept 12 hours straight 😮😮😮I'm hoping it's not a fluke but we'll see tonight!
He still really fights going down and we do have some tears but I go in often to reassure him and it normally takes about half hour ish before he gives in. I heard him whinging abit about 3 last night but then he want quiet after 5 mins or so.

@Missonhartbaby I'm glad sleep training worked so well for you! I don't know why isn't working for me? :( how come my nights don't improve?!
She does have a dairy and soy allergy. It was diagnosed at 4 months. When I gave her carrot pure it really flared up her eczema and the allergy team said only to give small amounts of carrot. She got constipated when we started weaning but it got really bad. Even with a lot of fruit, prunes and water. The laxative helps but I need to be careful not to give her too much as well. Because she is so sensitive, and a lot of the times when she cries is because she has to pass wind or because she is uncomfortable in her tummy. So I'm afraid of letting her cry overnight. But I think that might be what I have to do... I was going to last weekend but then she was crying because of the constipation and it put me off...

@bartos aw bless her that sounds awful! That must be alot harder to sleep train her then though because you don't want to let her cry if she could be in pain...
What method are you using?
I do my bedtime routine, put him In the cot and read him a story while he's in there so he doesn't start crying instantly, then I say 'night night, it's bedtime now I love you' give him his taggy and then leave. I then go in at 2 mins, then 4,6,8,10 (I've never got past that!) and put one hand on his head, one on his tummy and say shhhh it's bedtime, this seems to be what works for him and instantly calms him down and then leave again if he's calmed down or not. The first night I still fed him twice but the other times, he woke up every hour, I'd go in after 2 mins repeat what I did when he went bed and then leave and he'd either go back off to sleep or I'd have to go in again after the 4 mins and then he'd go. And from that first very hard night with a fair amount of crying he's been so much better! Maybe he was just ready and it clicked for him or maybe its cos I was at my wits end and did not back down that first night at all! I dunno. I did pick him up very briefly a couple of times the first night though actually when I could tell his crying had escalated. Hopefully it'll just click one day for your LO!! But honestly the sleep training has been the best thing I've done for his sleep, and I always said I would never do controlled crying but I don't think i thought it was just letting them cry all night not that you are still being there for them just helping them learn to sleep on their own
Hope you have a better night!
P. S sorry, I think that is quite a garbled message but I don't have the energy to go back through it!!

Crawling in to say hi. The last few weeks are a blur. She's going down a hell of a lot better (possibly due to her learning to crawl forward, to climb on bloody everything and actually eating food instead of just throwing it) but is still waking several times a night. I'm trying to leave her for slightly longer when she cries because sometimes she goes back without help and my going in there makes it worse.

But I always crack at 3-5am when I'm in a bit of a daze and very very sleepy. So I bring her in with us and she sleeps until 7:30ish.

I don't think I have the energy to be consistent and keep her in the cot. At that time in the morning all I can think about is getting back to sleep.

To be honest, half of me thinks just keep going, she'll grow in to it (she's improved enormously in the last month or so) and as long as we are both sleeping then everything will be ok.

Well I don't want to jinx it, and I'm touching all the wood in the world, but I think my short time in this thread might be over...

Wishing many sleepful nights to you ladies! You've got this. x

Oh my god she did it. Last wake up probably 10:30-11ish? So pleased

@Missonhartbaby I think that's where I went wrong. I trained her to fall asleep by herself but then would go to her overnight if she cried right away so that she wouldn't disturb DH and also I was afraid she would get more alert and harder to get back to sleep. But really, things don't help. Yesterday the baby monitor started beeping twice, for lack of breathing movement. First time me and my husband go on the run I get there first and she is still with her eyes open, I've put my hand in her face and she didn't move right away, it was just milliseconds but I almost died there. Then she looks at me and gives me and DH a big smile, like "oh so nice of you to pop in!" God, I can't even say the stage I was left... The second time less worry, DH went there and everything was fine again. Thanks God! Stupid monitor!! so these kind of things put me off! Always afraid she really might need me. But again last night loads of wake ups, needing the breast a lot. Would be asleep, I would put her in cot and she would wake up. This is not good. I really need to break this habit. I'm wondering if I should start tonight. They say not to do this when you have a big week, ours is kind of busy until Sunday, bit stressful. But then not sleeping definitely doesn't help.

@flowerpicture and @flowerpicture I'm really glad for both of you! By the way this is going I'm going to be left here in a monologue

frozen that's great!!! I hope that's the start of more sleep for you.

Bartos I'll still be here with you. Ds has occasional good nights now(good for him) which never happened before, but he's not consistent and still wakes alot. He usually settles well once I've gone to bed if I feed him so I'm lucky in that sense. I've got 2 and a half weeks till I'm back at work and I think that all the changes will impact on his sleep.

Thanks! We've had a solid week of bed at 6.30, dream feed around 11, then sleep through until 7, with one 5.30am blip over the weekend. I'm delighted. No idea if it's going to last, but...

Naps are still absolutely shit though, naturally.

So pleased some of these babies are sleeping more. We had to reluctantly do some controlled crying as feeding to sleep stopped working! DS is 10 months but sleep was worse than when he was newborn! I wasn't crawling in to bed until 2/3/4am and he was waking at 6. So we moved the mattress of the spare bed in to his room, and co slept for 2 nights whish I've never done before. Last night is took him 20 minutes to go to sleep then he woke at 10 and 2.30 for very quick feeds, otherwise I just put my hand in to the cot and he went back off to sleep.

I'll still be here 😔 I'm glad that lots of you have had break throughs!

Oh dear, tonight is not going well. Ds only had one (long) nap at lunchtime. I got him to sleep tonight, he woke up when I put him down now he won't sleep. He's sitting up then bending over and putting his face on the bed....he looks like he's worshipping the duvet.

Hope everyone has a good night. so pleased that some of you are getting good sleep now, there's hope for all of us.

@bartos oh god I bet that was terrifying!!! That's why I didn't get one of the monitors because I knew it would just make me even more paranoid.
Ahh yeah maybe you just need to be more consistent with it through the night then. It's honestly worth a try, I've had such good results!
He slept 12 hours straight again last night. I'm actually beginning to feel human! Haha
@Tealandteal thats definitely an improvement!!!
@MummyCuddlesSolveEverything oh bless him haha! Hopefully you don't have a long night... If he's not crying maybe just leave him to continue worshipping the duvet on his own and see what happens!!

It wasn't a repeat performance :( tangry

mummycuddlessolveeverything that made me giggle so much! I think I worship my duvet DS also only had one long nap yesterday and he woke 3 times in the night. I didn't have to do any little resettles though so I am feeling refreshed for swimming today!

Frozenmargarita17 it's the worst when you know they can do it buy they don't

Glad ds gave you a giggle with his duvet worshipping.
Tonight going really badly, the longest he's been in his cot is 20mins and that took 2 hours to do. Tried to give him Calpol because he's top teeth are coming through and he had a melt down, he got himself so wound up he projectile vomitted everywhere.
Frozen sorry she didn't sleep again last night.

Nightmare. Dh went out tonight. I put her down at 6:30. She woke at 7 and has been awake since. I was trying to cook dinner for myself after hardly eating today and I couldn't leave it so I brought her down as she was wide awake. Then when my dinner was cooked I turned the oven off and went upstairs to try and get her down so I could eat. An hour later she was still awake and I'm starving. I cried and just gave up and brought her down again. I was so hungry.

I've not had any time to myself today at all. I was looking forward to sitting and doing my puzzle in the quiet. Dh is home now and my chance is gone. He's annoyed at me because I'm not talking much. I just need to be left alone for a bit but someone always wants something! Does anyone else feel like this?

It's been all night and she only went down half an hour ago.

Dh said to go to bed. Which I have done but I'm bloody miserable and can't sleep.

@flowerpicture I'm so sorry! I hope you got some sleep! How come he gets upset with you? You need support now, not to feel worse. I've had this before. My DH would spike me or something and I would tell him to stop that I'm not in the mood to talk, to just leave me alone. He understands now that when that happens is because I'm really fed up and best thing is to remove himself and DD from my eyesight and give me 5 min to do whatever I'm doing in peace. Even if it's just doing the dishes. We all have those days where we question why is my life like this? What am I doing wrong? But really, it's not your fault. Your baby is a bad sleeper, it will improve with time, until there it's survival mode. And I know they are little only once, little hands, little hears, but hey, I'm only 30 once as well and it's slipping through my fingers. I feel like 50,i look like 40,and I only live once as well. You need to eat to take care of baby! Sometimes focusing for 15 min on you, to get a meal, and leave DD to cry for a bit or fussing is the best you can do for both. Take care!

@FrozenMargarita17 I'm sorry for your evening. I don't know if there's something in the air but I felt the same yesterday, desperately needing a minute to myself. I think we both have high needs babies and they are more demanding than anyone can possibly understand. I hope your OH realised why you didn't feel like talking.