Will ds learn to sleep longer by himself? 45min cycles at 16wks

[Jellybabie3]

I appreciate this is the regression. Its been getting worse since Christmas day. He now wakes every 45 min to an hour, i lift him out of his side cot. He has a 5min nibble on my boob, back to bed and repeat.

Will he learn to sleep longer himself or do i need to something??? Baffled

Will do. Its taken 3 hours to settle DS tonight thanks to overtiredness. Even the boob isnt cutting it

I'm not sure how to overcome the transfer issue though... .loves his bed if put in sideways not lowered down cant do sideways in cotbed. Aargh

Well as an update DS took until midnight to settle properly thanks to overtiredness but then slept for 2-2.5 hour chunks through the night! He was properly feeding at each wake up so I am taking it to mean he needs it. He also detached himself when finished and rolled onto back.

Call me stupid but after strings of 45-1hr wake ups for 7 weeks - this is progress??

I’d say that it’s definitely progress. There’s an argument that younger babies habits are more easily moulded. Good luck today

Well thats with no sleep training just the pull off method

Hi OP

There are some people who will argue that you don’t need to do anything and your baby will learn all by himself. I suppose they all do eventually but the question is how long it takes (as it will be different for each baby) as well as just how bad their sleep is in the meantime and whether you can survive without throwing yourself and or your baby out of the window. I suspect the people who are very against any kind of intervention whatsoever are either lucky to have decent sleepers or have superhuman powers to survive extreme sleep deprivation. I am in neither of those categories and I therefore think that gentle age-appropriate intervention is helpful to the well being of baby and parents.

One of my favourite sources of sleep advice (and I’ve obsessively read a lot of the damn stuff) is this website which has a good article on the 4 month sleep regression:
www.babysleepscience.com/single-post/2014/03/12/The-Four-Month-Sleep-Regression-What-is-it-and-What-can-be-Done-About-it

They also have an ebook which I haven’t downloaded myself but could be helpful.

I’ve also heard good things about Tracey Hogg FWIW.

That’s great to hear Jellie It’s so satisfying when they detach and fall back asleep like that. Do you feel like you can cope ok with those intervals of sleep? My toddler was on similar at that age and now pretty much sleeps through (I guess as he isn’t hungry in the night)

@Sophia1984

Yeah i think 2.5 hours would be ok. Unfortunately DS had his 16 week jabs Tuesday and has turned into a nightmare again. he refused to sleep tues night by himself so i held him (no sleep for me) and last night did the same until 1.30 but then woke every 45mins after that.. One step forward....3 back 😣

It's demoralizing isn't it? I had a non-sleeper. Sleep training apparently works for some babies, but never would have worked for either of mine. Most of what we tried, and we tried a lot, was just a way to fill in the time until they sorted themselves outI don't think it made a blind bit of difference. My advice would be to focus on getting what sleep you can (and yes, that might mean your partner taking a hit, but you really can't do it all), and then to stop thinking about how tired you are. There is evidence that thinking about something (anything) else means you will feel less tired. Also, if he catnaps during the daylet him! recent evidence has suggested that is better for night sleep than big sleeps.

@Placebogirl couldnt agree more. I tried PUPD and hated it. He screamed and he got a 20min nap. On me he sleeps for an hour and wakes up smiling.

I also read a load of stuff on kelly mum about feeding to sleep and STTN. I believe this website is regarded as one of the bibles as a mum so it suprises me so many people are keen to do CIO etc as this site says they will grow out of it. Alot of sites also mention how baby only stops crying with these sleep training methods because they believe noone is coming. Tragic IMO. I think while I am coping I go with it. If at 6 months or so I am getting nowhere (albeit by doing next to nothing) I will have to rethink but my gut at this time says ride it out.

I have though, ordered a myhummy. If i have to press that blinking sheep's leg one more timw to stop my DS stirring I think I will lose the will to live!!

You might be interested in this thread:
Does sleep training cause long term damage?

Thanks. I am by no means saying i wont have another go at training.. Just not now at 4 months old. 😊

Well no, 4 months is too young. The website I linked to in my first post says that. It does have useful advice about what you can do in the meantime though.

Thanks all. I've purchased a myhummy (arrived today!!) And have the gentle sleep book on order. Were going foe the softly softly approach but with a bigger white noise hit than bloody ewan that lasts 20mins

Fx for tonight or myhummy will swiftly make an appearance on ebay

I have both. I would like to burn the Gentle Sleep Book (it’s full of “no shit Sherlock” common sense “advice” like having a bedtime routine... yeah we have a bedtime routine and it didn’t stop my son waking every 1-2 hours for months on end). Also have a Myhummy and it’s not a miracle solution either although it might help a bit... I prefer to tell myself it does given the price.

Oh. 😕

And have the gentle sleep book on order.

It’s a great book. It has lots of gentle suggestions but also reassures you of what is normal and how we have lost sight of this.

Thats what I am hoping to understand. Someone somewhere pointed out they brought sleep books which although probably didnt do anything....they killed time before things naturally happened. That will do!

My poor nipples 45min feeds is a killer

Yep, been there. Of course Ockwell-Smith and her disciples will tell you “it’s normal” (it is within the normal range but that doesn’t mean you have to be a 24h buffet if you don’t want to be).

How long did you last before doing sleep training @NameChange30

‘disciples’

😂😂😂

Well my DS’s sleep went downhill at 5 months. Before that he’d have stretches of a few hours and would wake maybe 2 or 3 times a night. So I was happy cosleeping and feeding to sleep. But then he started waking every 45/60/90 mins. Two hours if we were lucky. We were going away when he turned 6 months and I knew sleep training was not recommended before that age so I waited until we got back before doing anything. It depends on your definition of “sleep training” though, some people think it just means CIO or CC. All we did to start with was switch from feeding to rocking to sleep, for naps and bedtime - we did that before he turned 6 months actually. And then when he was 6 months I managed to get him falling asleep in his cot at bedtime, just very gradually, by putting down a bit sooner each time in the falling asleep process - there was very little crying as I stayed with him and just picked up if he got upset. I suppose it was PUPD but I didn’t time it or anything. So that was working well until just before he turned 8 months and his sleep got even worse, he started suffering with silent reflux (we now think he had it all along but it wasn’t until then that the symptoms got bad enough for us to realise). Obviously there was no way I was going to sleep train at that point, we did what we had to in order to comfort him and survive, so carried on feeding/rocking to sleep and cosleeping. It wasn’t until the reflux was under control when he was just under 10 months that I felt we were ready to do some proper “sleep training”. I always wanted to use gentle methods but by that point we were absolutely on our knees with sleep deprivation so we were open minded about other methods. In the end I followed advice from someone I trust (friend who is a child psychologist for the NHS) and did get a bit stricter, so there has been crying but we have been comforting him, and his sleep has improved dramatically thank the Lord (with the exception of illness/teething/reflux flare up but even then it’s not been as bad as it was at its worst touch wood). The best outcome is that he is better rested and happier in the day. I am 100% sure that good sleep is essential for their development. I don’t mean sleeping 12 hours straight without needing us, I mean being able to sleep more than 45 minutes! That level of interrupted sleep isn’t good for baby or parents.

Thanks for sharing. My son has reflux

Ah I expect that is a key factor then. I sympathise, reflux is a bitch. (Also annoys me that Ockwell bloody Smith most of the sleep books I read don’t even mention reflux or other medical conditions that could be contributing to sleep problems.)

I’m sure you know this already, but reflux is another reason to break the “feed to sleep” association, as you would ideally keep baby upright (or at least not completely flat) for 30 minutes after a feed. Easier said than done especially as a breastfeed was the only thing that would calm DS when his reflux was at its worst (and I obviously fed him at that point).

Will yours take a dummy? DS never did but apparently that can help.

Does your baby have CMPA (suspected or confirmed)?

Not that i know no.

He wont take a dummy no. We didn't want to give him one but after a night from hell (a while ago) DH caved with no luck. He wont take bottle so no suprises.

I guess i am waiting this out.

Hes treated with ratinidine which works except the doses need to go up with his weight. I think hes due an increase but i don't have doc appointment for 3 more weeks