Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Will ds learn to sleep longer by himself? 45min cycles at 16wks

139 replies

Jellybabie3 · 01/02/2018 07:42

I appreciate this is the regression. Its been getting worse since Christmas day. He now wakes every 45 min to an hour, i lift him out of his side cot. He has a 5min nibble on my boob, back to bed and repeat.

Will he learn to sleep longer himself or do i need to something??? Baffled

OP posts:
Jellybabie3 · 04/02/2018 20:49

Theres also the ridiculousness that i dont want him to not need me anymore.....pathetic I know. I love my baby cuddles for naps. Stupid baby hormones.

OP posts:
Chocwocdoodah · 04/02/2018 21:41

He will always need you Smile

Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 07:23

He's feeding like crazy in thr night.

He managed1 2hour stretch. I thought we were on to something Sad

OP posts:
Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 09:00

So here is truly how it goes:

Somewhere between 6 and 7 depending on naps we take DS up for bath, massage and book. In our bed by 7-8pm.

I feed him in our bed and will hold him asleep. I watch t.v..

Ar some point he will wake. I feed him again laying down. I will remove nipple when hes comfort feeding. If he roots i let him have it back until he finally gives in.

I lift into sleepyhead very nearly almost asleep.

He will usually grunt and wriggle for abit to het comfy and sleep. Sometimes his eyes are open when put down. More often not.

Wakes 45 min to an hour later. Usually he rolls back and forth and bangs his arms on the side of sleepyhead moaning. I pick him up. If i leave him he cries. He can see me.

Repeat until i give up about 8am ish.

In the day i try to get him 3 x naps. All on me unless we are in the car or pram. If the car or pram stop he wakes. The naps range therefore from 10mins to 2 hours (on me). All naps by himself in his bed usually last about 20mins to 40mins.

What am i doing wrong??

OP posts:
Gizzymum · 05/02/2018 11:07

First of all, don't think of it as "what am I doing wrong", I'm sure we've all taken the same approach when we had newborns (I did). It's just now is the time to stop treating them like newborns and to make a few changes.

Personally I'd suggest moving the last feed to earlier in the bedtime routine and not in your bed. Also do not hold LO to sleep. I'd perhaps add in a certain phrase which will be the last thing LO hears before going to sleep eg, sweet dreams, sleep tight - whatever comes naturally. This phrase can also then be used at nap times and eventually hopefully your LO will link the words with sleepytime.

If you feed LO after every wakening, I'd suggest limiting this to the frequency you feed during the day eg if you feed 3hrly in the day, do the same at night. For the other wake ups there are a variety of approaches you could choose:

  • give a dummy instead (but at some point you'll want to wean off that so could cause problems later on. I did this approach to replace the feeds during the night and weaning off the dummy wasn't a problem for us though)
  • pick up and cuddle when LO cries and put down when no longer crying but awake/drowsy
-hug them in their cot/sleepyhead without picking up and gradually decrease contact, eg, full on cuddle, change to hand on chest/head, remove hand etc... (we did this too for main bedtime) as they settle, but with the aim of not touching them at the moment they fall asleep.

I'd also practice naps in the cot/sleepyhead rather than on you. I wouldn't worry too much about the pram/car thing for now as you need a life and need to get out and about. When doing the naps, do the same as for bedtime but without the whole bedtime routine but using the sleepytime phrase of your choice (which I mentioned earlier).

I hope that helps. Good luck

Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 11:49

Well i had a go at getting him to sleep in the sleepyhead for a nap in his nursery. Picked him up maybe 6 times and now hes wide awake and overtired.

FFS.

OP posts:
RockinRobinTweets · 05/02/2018 11:57

Routine at 4 months old:

Wake up and milk
75 minutes after wake up start to settle for nap
nap routine - into room, draw curtains, cuddle, into cot awake - settle in cot. Hopefully asleep by 90 minutes after last waking.

Repeat until last cycle before bedtime.

Bedtime cycle

Wake up and milk
One hour awake
Bath if needed
PJs
Milk
upstairs and brush any teeth (prob not yet!)
curtains
gro bag
book - the same one
Bed, wide awake, settle in cot

At nighttime, I'd feed a 4 month old once or twice between 7-7. I'd resettle to sleep without feeding before 11pm and then again for 4 hours after that first wake up and feed.

RockinRobinTweets · 05/02/2018 11:58

This might help for settling in the cot

www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/shhpat.html

Gizzymum · 05/02/2018 11:58

@Jellybabie3 unfortunately it's not a quick fix, it's going to take perseverance. Try again in 15min, and repeat. Consistency is the key (as frustrating as that is).

EllaJ1984 · 05/02/2018 12:13

But how do you 'settle in the cot'?? I've tried shush pat so many times as well as progressing to pick up put down and it just leads to baby getting agitated and then having a meltdown!!

BrassMonk · 05/02/2018 12:18

Possibly a bit of a tangent, but have you tried putting him in the crib without the sleepyhead? At about the same age my niece seemed to need more freedom to get comfy. Just a thought.

RockinRobinTweets · 05/02/2018 12:20

Ella I think that if you try for every sleep for a week, they should get it. It is just down to consistency. Always try to settle them that way and that, together with the routine, should signal that its time to sleep now. They won't get it straight away.

Also, if they're not asleep after 15 minutes, settle to sleep however you can, because overtiredness is the worst culprit for bad sleep IMO

Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 12:44

@EllaJ1984

I agree.

My DS is overtired now.

I think the 15 mins rule could be a good one

OP posts:
Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 12:49

Just tried 6x again. Still hysterical when he feels me leaning over the cot.

Hes asleep on me now else i have no hope tonight.

Next nap i will do the same.

Fx by the end of the week he will be a bit better

OP posts:
Gizzymum · 05/02/2018 14:46

@Jellybabie3 he will get a bit agitated to start with as he's used to you only leaning over to pick him up and will wonder what's happening. With consistency they learn they aren't getting picked up and calm.

Each baby is different in how they like to be settled. When overtired my LO likes a gentle head stroke (back of head to front), but when not overtired likes hand on chest with shush pat...

You will get there. The first few days are the worst, but it gets better.

Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 15:12

Ok i will keep taking him up for naps.

Hes slept 20mins since 8am

OP posts:
MoodyTwo · 05/02/2018 15:22

My LO is EBF and was exactly like you described, he is now 1 YO and has slept through twice since Christmas (he's had a cold that threw him out)
His worse nights are up 3 times...
we just did everything at his pace, attached the cot to my bed (one side down) and he could crawl over and feed while I rested (it woke me up) but then we moved the cot in his room and DH would go into calm him down, and would just bring him into our bedroom if he was crying badly (we are a no cry house). He seems ready to sleep through slowly increasing his length of sleep 😊 without really doing anything we were uncomfortable with

Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 16:13

Well i finally got him to nap in cot.

He lasted 20min Hmm

OP posts:
RockinRobinTweets · 05/02/2018 16:46

Good work Jelly! I think that’s pretty good going. He will get better. 4 x 40 minute naps is so normal at this age and if they’re in their cot, you can at least do stuff during that time

Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 16:58

@RockinRobinTweets Hmm so a way to go at only 20min then!!

Hes asleep on me now. Hes hysterical if i try n put him down now. Its leaning over that gets him

OP posts:
Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 17:01

As in leaning over to put him in

OP posts:
Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 18:23

I really don't think we are ready for this sleep training Sad it feels awful

OP posts:
RockinRobinTweets · 05/02/2018 18:54

Oh dear Jelly, it’s up to you. There’s no harm in waiting it out or just waiting until you’re more ready. Flowers

Sleep training is just to try and encourage something that will happen on its own. I felt better trying to do something but others feel better waiting it out.

Jellybabie3 · 05/02/2018 19:45

I think whats bothering me is the fact hes gulping milk in the night. I dont want to be messing about with routines if hes hungry due to a growth spurt.

I might be being soft but i cant bear him upset n not for a 20min nap

OP posts:
Chocwocdoodah · 05/02/2018 21:57

If you’re not ready, don’t do anything yet. You might decide to never sleep train, which is totally up to you. But if you do, really look into whichever method you think will work for you, decide when you’ll start and go for it - but whatever you do, be consistent. You need to do the same for naps as for bedtime, otherwise you will confuse your DS. Good luck x