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Original poster

Non-sleepers unite...

999 replies

Jellybean2017 · 18/01/2018 22:40

New thread for night (and daytime!) chatter for those awake more than they'd like with a non sleeping baby/child 😊

My DS is five months. First baby likely to be only baby if I don't start getting more sleep He is a nap and sleep fighter but incredibly cute so I choose to forgive him 😂

OP posts:
GinUnicorn · 25/01/2018 22:58

Well tonight is a fail already

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 26/01/2018 01:48

Not great here either... He's really unsettled, no 💩 yesterday so I wonder if he needs to go... Hope everyone else is doing better.

OP posts:
Meepmoop · 26/01/2018 02:03

Not doing well here either, DS just won't stay asleep. I've already lost count of the number of wake ups.

AdorableMisfit · 26/01/2018 02:17

Well, I'm here again. DS is 15 days old today and this is our worst night so far. I've been trying to settle him since 10pm without any success. He falls asleep on my boob, but wakes within minutes of being put in the crib and screams until I give him the boob back. Every previous night I've managed at least a few hours sleep before he starts this, but not tonight. My husband goes back to work tomorrow and I'm feeling quite panicky at the thought that I might literally end up being awake all night and then I'll be completely on my own without any support tomorrow. I'm hoping that I'll at least be able to sleep a little in the day while DS naps in the pram. He seems content to sleep for 2 or 3 hours in the daytime, so why won't he do it at night?!

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 26/01/2018 03:06

Sorry to hear of all the bad nights. DS slept from 9 till 12.45, fed, then asleep from 1.55..till 2.20 in his cot Hmm now feeding and snorting away. Just been sick on me. Needing a while outfit change. TWICE. Argh!!!

He's 12 weeks today and his sleep is worse than a newborn. Why???? I am utterly fed up.

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 26/01/2018 03:18

stolensleep.com/2015/04/27/how-to-get-your-baby-to-sleep-through-the-night-in-just-two-years/

This made me laugh! Think we can all relate...

NinaMarieP · 26/01/2018 03:49

It's been particularly bad here too. He wasn't too bad during the day - I was expecting him to be worse with his cold. He wasn't his usual self but he played on his own a few times and had a 1.5 hour nap in the middle of the day.

But tonight... he had a twenty minute nap at tea time and woke because I coughed and wouldn't go back down and that was the start of him being ratty, overtired and falling asleep for five minutes then waking up for no reason screaming. That went on for about five hours. His longest sleep was fifteen minutes, around 8 and I though that was it, started eating my tea and we put an episode of ER on and nope it started again. Thing was he would settle from raging and screaming and thrashing in about ten minutes and was grumpy but ok to be held and walked about with but as soon as the dummy came near him or you lay him back he had a meltdown. He had calpol and ibuprofen 2 hours apart and they made no discernible difference.

We got him to sleep about 10 in our bed and I went into the spare room to try to get some sleep and woke up at 11, 12 and 1.30 because he was hysterically screaming for ten minutes at a time and then I swapped because my OH has work in the morning.

He's woken at 3.30 and cried more normally so I'm feeding him and hoping he's over whatever the hell it was!

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 26/01/2018 03:53

I think it's the cold as DS was the same - fine during the day but very unsettled tonight. He's struggling to breathe and has been sick a third time. I'm not sure what to do. If I feed him he brings it straight back up and I've changed him 3 times already! He's so restless and keeps wailing, I just don't know what to do for him.

actino · 26/01/2018 04:12

Hi. Sorry to hear about the bad nights.

We've had an ok night sleepwise, but just finished an epically bad nappy change with 2 pees, several pukes and a whole outfit change. And then as soon as I got into bed to feed her she pooped 3 times. Whole thing took like half an hour and now we're all wide awake.

OuchBollocks · 26/01/2018 04:24

The 3yo keeps waking up in hysterics and shouting and screaming, which wakes 10mo DS. This is the third wake up of the night, I've been awake since before 3am, I am properly losing my rag. I would cry but I'm just too tired :(

user1489931797 · 26/01/2018 05:09

Hi everyone sorry to hear of all the irritable babies tonight I do sometimes wonder if Those who constantly post pics loving life with their babies are also in reality dealing with inconsolable crying and puke and fussiness too or we are just that unlucky?!

I know that sounds bad but I feel so isolated and upset and helpless that my baby just always seems upset uncomfortable or sad when I know deep down in their when I see flashes of a smile that there is a happy baby in there somewhere.

Other day attempted to go to baby massage and 12babies and mums all on time all in the sensory room relaxed and ready to go.. me and DS late and balling his eyes out wanting boob despite having decent sized nutramigen bottle feed and we sat at the back BFing whilst everyone else got to do something lovely!

Just so frustrated that whether it be reflux or CMPA that the solution hasn't been sorted yet currently on ranitidine and nutramigen and the sickness and fussiness is just as bad as it was 9 weeks ago!

I'm now not sure whether to go to an afternoon tea which is s prize I won with my mum tomorrow as means I will be gone for 3hrs whilst DH and FIL take care of DS reason I'm worried to leave is because boob is always answer when comfort is needed and if he doesn't get it is very upset, so would it be cruel of me to go???

xxrealistmumxx · 26/01/2018 07:01

It sounds like a lot of us are feeling pushed way past our limits of dealing with fussy / unsettled / unwell babies. It's awful feeling so powerless when LOs are distressed and we can't fathom what's up. I honestly think that being a baby is harder for some babies than others. It's such a big adjustment to come into the world with immature digestive systems and the host of intense developments that they go through in the first year. Do I wish it wasn't so hard? Yes, but mostly I just wish we all had more support. I don't believe we're meant to raise kids on our own like most of us are with OHs out at work all day and often not much use even when they are home At least if there were more adults around to help care for LOs we'd be able to get adequate rest.

whoAteAllThePercyPigs that smug mum will have it coming in one way, shape or form at some point! Smugness is never a good trait in a parent. But to be fair I can't really handle the sympathetic looks from parents of good sleepers either. Probably best for me to just not talk about it with anyone else unless I know they have a poor sleeper too

Hugs to all of you, me included. One more day to get through then it's the weekend and hopefully we can get a bit more rest!

Catscatsandmorecats · 26/01/2018 07:18

NinamarieP I expect it is the cold and hopefully it'll pass soon, DS2 is the same. I hope you manage some rest today.

User go to the tea and try to relax (hahaha easier said than done I know). With you not there to see or smell he probably won't get desperate for the boob. You have had some improvement from your other posts but it is such a hard slog with reflux. Your smiley baby will come out, I am sure.

I'm sorry there have been so many bad nights.

We have had a good one at last - DS1 slept all the way through and didn't get up til after his sun came up - I am overjoyed! DS2 had three feeds but barring thinking it was time to play for ten minutes at 4am he slept well too. We're off on holiday tomorrow so I am sure it'll all go to pot then!

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 26/01/2018 08:37

I'm shattered. Bad one here. Was reading an article about sleep associations at about 3am. The writer used an analogy ie. That being fed or rocked to sleep is same sort of association as an adult having a pillow to sleep. I don't know about you but I could easily fall asleep without a pillow... A cold hard floor would do. 😱 anyway we definitely have a sleep association problem with feeding back to sleep as he was up about 8 times.

Sorry to see others had bad nights too. Let's hope we can all rest up today ahead of the Friday night shift...

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WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 26/01/2018 09:15

@user definitely go! The worst that can happen is a few hours of crying- they'll cope! When my DF looked after DD and she started crying, he'd just take her for a long walk. Go and enjoy, you deserve it!

@xxrealistmum your words sum it up exactly. Back when I was a kid, my mum was a SAHM but had the support of a neighbourhood- everyone had young kids so were in it together. We live a few hours away from both our families, and really feeling that now with two DC. My parehts come up as much as they can, but it has to be scheduled in advance. Yes I've got a lot of friends but I'd feel bad asking them to babysit at this stage. Plus with DS being EBF there's not much point in me handing him over anyway!

My parents do pay for us to have a cleaner, which is such a huge help!

DH took pity on me and took DD to nursery, so I've just done some chores and now relaxing with DS asleep on me. Going to see a friend who is overdue with her first baby and will try not to scare her with tales of non sleepers What's everyone else up to?

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 26/01/2018 09:35

@user I agree you must go for afternoon tea. It's only a couple of hours but will make the world of difference for you and your sanity!! I did similar a couple of months ago. Baby was fine until just before I got back anyway and I wished I'd just relaxed and enjoyed it more 😊

I will be getting on with some more sorting for our impending house move this morning if DS lets me then we have got baby sensory this afternoon.

Uh oh, sounds like 💩 o clock!!!

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yolkybokey · 26/01/2018 11:34

Definitely go @user1489931797 - yes you may feel guilty if you get home and find the baby has been crying for a bit, but think of the benefit to your own mental well-being of getting to have a treat!! The baby will have no memory of crying and you will feel refreshed.

I gave DS some expressed milk mixed with baby rice yesterday (early at 23 weeks 😱😱) he seemed to enjoy it! I'm going to try him on some pear and carrot today...

He has also officially doubled his birth weight - got him weighed yesterday and he's 18lb 4oz 😊 my months of breastfeeding have been worth it!

Catscatsandmorecats · 26/01/2018 11:59

Like jellybean I'm trying to do some sorting and packing but DS2 isn't letting me get much done. His cough keeps waking him early from his naps poor little love, so now he's having a nice sleep attached to the boob! Very unproductive but nice and snuggly and peaceful. DH needs to hurry up and finish work so he can do the packing.

I think I may have put commentators curse on though for holiday, DS1 had a blocked ear, we softened the wax with olive oil and it has cleared but the ear looks like it might be infected - we have a doctor's appointment after nursery to see if he's ok to fly. Fingers very tightly crossed, he's so excited about going and going on a plane.

UtterlyConfused111 · 26/01/2018 13:33

Bad night.
Have cold and have received bad news from home. Feel like death. Not sure how it is possible to keep doing this for months on end...

xxrealistmumxx · 26/01/2018 13:58

Sorry to hear that utterlyconfused I hope you're ok. I try not to think about it stretching out for months on end bevause it's too distressing! Just focus on getting through one day / night / hour at a time. Easier said than done I know. I airways feel at my lowest at the start on another day wondering how I'm going to get through it knowing there's more to come that night. I just try to get some nice moments into my day

user I really hope you went for tea. It's important we get a break when we can

Where are you going on holiday catscatsandmorecats?

I was teaching this morning at home. My mum came to sit with LO upstairs for an hour. I was feeling anxious about how it would go but I got him to go for a nap just as the student arrived. He cried out just as we got started but my mum popped his dummy back in and he stayed asleep til nearly the end of the session then sat happily with my mum. So relieved! Felt really good to do something un-baby / child related! Now sat in bed eating a chocolate muffin whilst he sleeps on me

Original poster
Jellybean2017 · 26/01/2018 16:16

Sorry to hear that @utterlyconfused Flowers

Well I didn't get any packing done but we made it to baby sensory and also had a walk afterwards. Now cosy back at home enjoying some quiet time while baby sleeps.

Although I'm tired, all I really want to do tonight is curl up on the sofa with DH, and have pizza and wine. But alas I don't think I will be doing that for a few more months years 🙈🙈🙈

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AMagdalena · 26/01/2018 17:52

Sorry to learn last night was bad for so many...What sleep thieves, eh?!
My DD woke up at 3am, then at 7am for a poo... Not bad, but still in my bed.

Still massively upset by the consultant suggestion to atop bf. It's the only thing
I feel I am doing right as a mum. I know DD is happy because of it, putting weight on (75th centile), hitting milestones.
So as of today I am dairy, soya, egg, nut, wheat and fish free. Ugh Sad
There is no way formula will work for us. Even if DD takes some, she won't have enough, so I would still need to bf anyway or she'd lose weight.

AMagdalena · 26/01/2018 17:54

@user it's so hard having an unsettled baby. My DD was really insettled as a newborn, but all HCP's tell you babies cry.
Nothing is straightforward, is it?

AMagdalena · 26/01/2018 17:54

Sorry for typo's. Stuck under baby

actino · 26/01/2018 18:10

Hi, @AMagdalena, breastfeeding is not the only thing you're doing right as a mum, noticing the abnormal poos, going to see the consultant and eliminating parts of your diet to find the culprit are all things that you are doing RIGHT.

I would also be heartbroken if I had to give up breastfeeding, so I can imagine how you feel, but be kind to yourself, you will find a solution that works.