10 week old won’t sleep anywhere but my arms help!!

[YorkshireMam96]

DS is 10 weeks old and since birth wouldn’t sleep anywhere but in someone’s arms. I was able to lie down and rest (not sleep) with him on my chest or next to me in my arms. As the weeks have progressed, now he will only sleep if I’m sat up holding him in my arms. We’ve had to resort to co-sleeping as he will not touch his cot but he won’t even let me lay him down in the bed with me!! Hellllpppp!!! I’m going insane

Hi sorry I haven’t checked in @SophieGiroux. I’m basically in the same situation I was in 16 weeks ago. Except now I can’t put him down for naps anymore. I went to stay with my mum for a month and he just wouldn’t sleep there so I started holding him for naps. Now I’ve definitely made a rod for my own back because now I have added separation anxiety on top of sleep issues.

Hang in there! It can be so rough, and I'm sure you're doing a great job.

We're really suffering with the 4 month sleep regression and so I've just let my house go to pot and have had to just sleep when he sleeps, otherwise I'd go mad from sleep deprivation.

It will be a phase! Are you OK? It can be so depressing. But it is always a phase...

Although he might cry and shout when in pram/sling, I would try take him out and ride it out. The crying always feels like longer than it actually is. If you know he has been fed and it's time for a nap he is crying because he is tired. My baby refused naps and I took him out in sling 4 times a day! Then maybe you can move on to the pram etc

I hate the expression "rod for your own back". You are doing an amazing job and giving your baby lots of love and affection which is lovely for him

I can’t even sleep when he sleeps. If I lay down with him he wakes up after 5 minutes. I just have to sit up holding him for all his naps. I just don’t want to get in the habit of taking him out in the pram for every sleep because he gets used to things and (I know it sounds bad I but)I can’t physically or mentally be bothered to go for a walk four times a day.

Hi, I came across to your conversation about baby sleeping in your hands? I’m going through similar thing, please tell me it’s improved at some point?

Our LO liked to be held for naps at that age too. But I made an effort every time to put him down after about 20 minutes when he was in deep sleep. That way he didn’t scream when his head touched the mattress. It was nowhere near ‘drowsy but awake’ but got him used to the crib. Then I started doing the 5S from the Happiest Baby on the Block to settle him to drowsy, he enjoyed it at first, then a few days later started screaming and pushing me away, as if saying ‘put me down and leave me alone’. So at 12 weeks we tried putting him down sleepy but awake and boom- he didn’t protest! He was just developmentally ready to self settle and has done ever since (bar teething and when has a cold). One day your LO will be ready, just keep trying. If he cries, pick him up to shush/pat and then put him down when calm. If after, say, three attempts to settle he still cries, let him finish the nap in your arms and try again next time. I stressed far too much at every nap when there was probably no need.

Cot mobile made the crib interesting for our LO and he used to thrash around watching it, then fell asleep. After he got older and more alert, he cot mobile became too stimulating so it was taken off.

In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with providing comfort until our babies are confident to sleep on their own, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get them used to only sleeping on the go (pram, car seat, sling), as you often see suggested, because then that’s all that they will know and it will be very hard to break that habit. I believe the same goes for co-sleeping long term, how is a baby meant to learn to self settle when they can smell mummy and get hugged to sleep. I have two friends who can’t get their toddlers to sleep on their own because they have co-slept since they were newborns.

That’s exactly what you would have to end up doing (walks for every nap) if you make it a habit. Trust me, self settling and sleeping on his own are developmental milestones, and your son’s brain will be ready for it sooner than you think. I could never lie down with mine for naps either, so like you, sat there completely exhausted holding him. Take selfies of him in your arms for memories because soon he will push you away and want to sleep on his own ;)

Is he waking up that often hungry? Then possibly need to get him checked by a tongue tie specialist. Mine was feeding frequently and for ages because of tongue tie that was initially missed.
Also, mine had silent reflux and meds weren’t helping. So I took him to an osteopath/chiropractor specialising in babies and within two sessions reflux was gone.

Also, I’ve just read your comments about your mum not following your routine and baby being difficult to settle after you go home. Why do you not insist on her sticking to your routine? Do you have to stay with her every week? She could maybe help you out during the day but you would then do night routine alone?