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Original poster

10 week old won’t sleep anywhere but my arms help!!

108 replies

YorkshireMam96 · 13/01/2018 09:23

DS is 10 weeks old and since birth wouldn’t sleep anywhere but in someone’s arms. I was able to lie down and rest (not sleep) with him on my chest or next to me in my arms. As the weeks have progressed, now he will only sleep if I’m sat up holding him in my arms. We’ve had to resort to co-sleeping as he will not touch his cot but he won’t even let me lay him down in the bed with me!! Hellllpppp!!! I’m going insane

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FortheloveofJames · 17/01/2018 14:06

DS slept in Moses basket for 3 weeks after he was born, in a sleepyhead. He hen refused to sleep in it at all. We eventually bought a next to me crib at 10 weeks and although it wasn’t a magic cure and he still woke through the night he would actually sleep in it mostly and didn’t need to be on me.

You could always sell it on if not planning anymore more- I always see them going for good prices on secondhand mums groups on facebook and they are always sold quickly!

littlemissminor · 17/01/2018 16:07

They are a lot bigger than they look - my DD is big for her age and still had loads of room, but yes they are expensive!

I think they have a pretty good resale value though? They are on offer in Argos at the moment too

Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 17/01/2018 17:11

I was apprehensive but I’ve just bought one from Argos and it’s arriving tonight. I’m hoping it wasn’t a waste of money as I don’t really have money to we wasting at the moment Confused

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Namethecat · 17/01/2018 17:15

It's a learned response . Maybe try to put down patting team back for 5 mins despite the crying. Then 10 minutes getting longer speaking gently and trying to stay calm and relaxed yourself. It will get better. Congratulations on being a mum.

Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 17/01/2018 17:41

Namethecat I don’t really want to let him cry it out. My mum has advised me strongly against it and everyone around me. Plus he’s my one and only baby it makes me ill to hear him upset

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SophieGiroux · 20/01/2018 16:52

@YorkshireMam96 so did he suddenly not cry anymore when you put him in the cot for his naps? I so want to be able to do this with mine but she just doesn't go in the cot without loads of screaming! I only seem to get 20-30 min naps with her on me or in the swing occasionally

Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 20/01/2018 17:06

It took weeks of trying him and picking him up and putting him down. One day he just went down and didn’t cry. He’s not took a nap in my arms since Monday. I think playing with him in his play gym and singing songs etc tires him out so much that he doesn’t protest. Plus sticking to a nap after 1hour and 20-30 minutes of awake time

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SophieGiroux · 20/01/2018 18:28

Thanks I'll have to just keep trying. I'm the same as you though, hate hearing them cry. Have you got your next to me crib yet? How are the nights going?

Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 20/01/2018 19:45

It’s really stressful having a baby who won’t sleep even when held. It’s just a matter of routine and perseverance. I got it the same day I ordered it through Argos but he’s not slept in it at night really just for naps. We’re still working on nighttime sleep.. there’s been little improvement in that area

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Oly5 · 20/01/2018 19:47

Don’t leave him to cry. He’s tiny. Naps get so much easier once they’re older

Ohyesiam · 20/01/2018 19:53

My first was exactly the same. Buy a sling, and read Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson, full of lots of useful info.

Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 20/01/2018 21:20

I have a sling but he won’t go in it. I’ve just read a short summary I’ll have to order it on amazon tomorrow thank you

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Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 27/01/2018 20:47

Update: he’s sleeping in his cot for all his day time sleep still and sleeps in his sleepy head in the living room with me till I go to bed around 10:30pm. Still no improvement on night time sleep and still continues to wake up every hour if not every 30 minutes. He still wont nap in his swing or his sling. Still at a loss as to what to do next

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purpleviolet1 · 28/01/2018 15:13

Sleep consultant? I can recommend www.thesleeplady.co.uk/

Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 28/01/2018 17:18

I had a few sleep consultants as a baby and I’m a bit sceptical as I am yet to sleep through the night at 21. I’m not asking for him to sleep through just that he sleeps longer than an hour at a time as it’s affecting his mood.!

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Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 28/01/2018 17:18

I didn’t mean to put the exclamation point

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purpleviolet1 · 31/01/2018 14:00

Sleep consultants can help with helping baby to link sleep cycles by using a basic routine. It's worth a shot!

Choccyhobnob · 31/01/2018 16:16

You're doing so well! My son slept in my arms *(and then nursery workers arms) for all naps until he was over a year old then I started to be able to transfer him to the sofa next to me and then to bed next to me. He never slept in his next 2 me crib or his cot ever. Between the ages of 3-5 months I held him from 7pm until 7am and 'slept' sitting upright surrounded by pillows. Eventually progressed to him sleeping across my chest and finally next to me in the bed. Still woke every 90 mins to feed until he was 18 months old. It is bloody hard!!

Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 31/01/2018 16:47

I feel like there’s been been no improvement as he still wakes up constantly over night. He’s a decent sleeper in the day but night time it’s difficult.

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Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 31/01/2018 16:53

Choccyhobnob my ds is a very particular individual he won’t sleep on anyone’s heat who has boobs. He will sleep in my arms but a couple of minutes later he’s writhing and grunting nestling his head into my chest to eat(he’s EBF).

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Goldmandra · 31/01/2018 19:39

DD1 was just like your DS and this thread has brought back memories of feeling utterly desperate with sleep deprivation. I really feel for you.

Many years of childminding taught me the power of putting a baby down on a sheet or item of clothing that the mother has slept with for a night. It helped me to get babies settled in cots on many occasions. The smell seems to really help them settle and stay asleep.

Original poster
YorkshireMam96 · 31/01/2018 20:33

Goldmandra I’ve tried putting a bra and a vest that I’ve slept in in his cot but he just wakes up straight after like normal

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ILikeYouToo · 31/01/2018 21:26

Did you get an appointment re: (silent) reflux? Two of my three had it, and lying down was so painful for them. I felt really guilty when I realised (one was 14m before it was diagnosed, despite visits to docs). Thank god I hadn't ever listened to the million and one people who told me I just had to let him cry it out! I'd never have forgiven myself! Instead I was just a zombie for well over a year...

codswallopandbalderdash · 31/01/2018 21:36

Umm my DS was like this. He did sleep in the cot for short periods but ended up in bed with me. Ditto the toddler bed - halfway through the night he would join us.

So I've embraced co-sleeping and we still do this a lot ... much to the disgust of many older relatives - but it works for us. It won't be forever

codswallopandbalderdash · 31/01/2018 21:41

oh read your post about a sling. I bought one of these in desperation. Fat lot of use it was. But the babybjorn bouncer was a godsend when he was old enough to go in it. He tired himself out in and would nap there