10 week old won’t sleep anywhere but my arms help!!

[YorkshireMam96]

DS is 10 weeks old and since birth wouldn’t sleep anywhere but in someone’s arms. I was able to lie down and rest (not sleep) with him on my chest or next to me in my arms. As the weeks have progressed, now he will only sleep if I’m sat up holding him in my arms. We’ve had to resort to co-sleeping as he will not touch his cot but he won’t even let me lay him down in the bed with me!! Hellllpppp!!! I’m going insane

Really random but worked for me a couple of times whilst your getting baby off to sleep in your arms have a hot water bottle in the Moses basket/cot. Then remove this before putting baby into bed, it will make it very warm and hopefully baby won't notice that you've put him down 😘 good luck. It gets better

My HV told me to buy a bouncing chair as he won’t go in his swinging chair. So I’ll have to give it a go. I’ve tried the water bottle trick it has no effect. It’s not getting him to go to sleep that is the main issue it’s getting him to stay asleep for longer than an hour

A lot of ebf babies are very frequent feeders. Mine was every 90 mins to 2 hours all day and night for a year like I said so not quite as bad as yours. No tops smelling of me/hot water bottle/bouncer/swaddling made any difference. I'm sorry, I know it's exhausting and worrying but it really is just a phase (and after 6 months my body seemed to adjust to no sleep and I didn't think I was going to die anymore!) helpful/not helpful.

Hi @YorkshireMam96, just jumping in here to see if I can offer some help! You may have already posted this earlier in the thread, but whats his daytime feed and nap routine like? and do you do a bedtime routine each night?

Choccyhobnob I’m adjusting to having no sleep a little better but it’s just some days it gets a little much. Recently he’s been really grouchy and it’s been getting me down.

Bear buggy he takes naps approx 1.5 hours after he’s woken up. The naps last anywhere from 20 mins to an hour and a half. He feeds from every 45 mins to every 3 hours depending on the day. Yes he has a bedtime routine but we stay at my mumshouse once a week and she doesn’t stick to my routine and plays with him when it’s supposed to be wind down time and when he fusses he’s picks him up straight away

It’s hard and it’s rubbish and I know you don’t want to hear this but it won’t last forever, babies are hard and difficult and then one day it will just work out, my first born was 15months before he settled and slept on his own my second was fine sleeping sat upright in my arms like yours, so I got loads of pillows and put them in a comfortable upright position in bed with ones around-my arms to keep baby from falling. Maybe try lots of pillows in bed, first born are hard work because everything is new. It will get easier and baby will sleep one day x

Hi @YorkshireMam96, best advice I can give is to try and start getting him onto a better daytime feed / sleep routine and this will massively help with the nights. Over tiredness is a big problem for babies under 10-12 weeks and its important that they nap every 1.5 - 2 hours to prevent it. It might be that he is getting overtired and worked up to the point where he cries and won't be put down. Try and put him down for naps before over tiredness kicks in and he will learn quite quickly the routine and how to self settle.

When my son was around 10 weeks I was doing the below feed schedule -

07:00 - Full feed
11:00 - Full feed
14:15/30 - Full feed
17:00 - Small Feed - 2oz EBM or small BF if needed, just to get him to bedtime
17:30 - Bathtime
18:00 - Full feed
22:30 - Full feed - We would wake him fully, lights on, change nappy and give feed. A full bottle of EBM or formula and I then would express fully whilst my husband gave the bottle. It's fine if he falls asleep towards the end of the feed but needs to be awake at the start as this is how to break the cycle of him associating waking up and getting a very sleepy feed then expecting the same again frequently in the night.
04:00 ish - Middle of the night feed would then be a bottle of EBM and he dropped this at 12 weeks.

Then his nap times coincided with the above feed times -

07:00 - Wake up
08:45 - 09:45 - Nap, ideally in cot but could be in car or pushchair if you are out and about
11:30 - 14:30 - Nap, in his cot - does he have a comforter?
16:30 - 17:00 - Nap, a walk is a good idea at this time to encourage a nap as this one was always the hardest of the day!
18:45 - Bedtime

We used a comforter, white noise and a grobag as positive sleep associations and he still uses these now at 18 months for all naps and night sleep. I know the above might be daunting but take one day at a time and it will start to get much much easier once you find a routine that works for you both. I only remember all of this because my friends baby is 4 weeks younger than mine and I shared everything with her so had it all written down and thought it might be helpful to pass onto you! x

Hopefully one day it will get better! Hopefully. Those who persuaded me to purchase a Next2me update: he hasn’t slept in it once at night it was a complete waste of money so hopefully I can sell it and get some money back for it

Thank you bearhuggy he is never awake longer than 1.5 hours because after about an hour he starts getting restless. He doesn’t have a strict nap time or feeding time as we are out most days from early. I live alone with the baby so if I stayed in to compensate for exact nap times I’d spend all my time alone.

Does he sleep in the pram when you are out and about? If you don't like the thought of being at home alone all day then why don't you try and do his morning and late afternoon naps out and about in the pram, then focus on his lunch nap at home in the cot? Then you get some down time and rest over this break...I was also home alone with my son throughout the day but quite enjoyed having the lunchtime nap break to put my feet up and rest!

Also, you want to try and make sure he's not waking from his last nap of the day any later than 5pm as you want him to be nice and tired ready for bedtime at 7pm... best to aim for 1hr morning nap, 2hr lunch nap, 30 min late arvo nap x

Bearhuggy he always has his first nap at home in the morning but his naps are only short ones ld be lucky to get an hour so for me to expect a 2 hour nap would be unrealistic. He normally has 2 short naps if we’re visiting family and a long one if we’re using the pram or in the car. I will give all your tips a go . He knows his bedtime is 7 but after we come back from staying at my mums it’s a nightmare to get him back into his routine

Update: still no improvement. In fact I think we’ve moved backward since when he began taking daytime naps. He now refuses to take naps at all and refuses to go in his sleepyhead while I eat my dinner. He’s resorted to waking up every 20 minutes so I haven’t had any sleep in days

Have you taken him to the doctors to check for silent reflux? Sorry if you have already said further up, my baby brain doesn't retain any info at the moment!

I’m taking him tomorrow I’ve spoken to a different HV who thinks he has silent reflux after mine telling me he doesn’t.

Update he’s now 16 weeks. Unfortunately the 4 month regression hit like a tonne of bricks. He now wakes up every 10-20 minutes every night and will only sleep in his cot for an hour MAX. The Next2me has been a complete waste of money still since his body hasn’t touched the crib. I’m still at a loss as to what to do. I feel like I’ve tried everything with no success

Was reflux ruled out?

I feel I could have written your op - my DS is 16 weeks and very similar.
We are starting to come out the other side though.

Firstly, we got reflux medication at 10 weeks

Secondly, he surprised us one day. I had a stomach bug and needed the bathroom without him. Put him in sleepyhead and thought I'd have to deal with the crying. He fell asleep after a few mins! I too hated the thought of crying but now I just accept he cries for a few minutes with me patting and shushing.

Thirdly, I got tough with a routine at 14 weeks
I start each day as brand new at 7am.
Feed till I know he's full, both sides if necessary.
Play for an hour.
Nap. This is car, pram or sling. I tried to stay out until the hr was up. It was then 2and a half hours since last feed so I'd repeat the whole pattern.

I'd go be bed about 8pm with him, in my arms but with him lying down (only possible since getting medication). When he wakes, I try burping, walking, shushing. Feeding is a last resort as every 45 mins was a killer. I also use ewan.

Getting the day naps in helps, and made the nights easier (as in an hour and a half instead of 45 minutes) plus it gave me structure.

Things aren't amazing yet, but they are better. Each week is slightly better. I've had a couple of 3 hourly stints and he will go down in his sleepyhead (warmed with a hot water bottle) at night after feeding. Not always, but I do try each time.
Oh and a dummy helped too. He hated that but I kept with it and now it's a sleep cue.

Its so hard, I know. X

Sounds a lot like reflux which tends to be worse a night. Has it been investigated?

My now 8 1/2 month old went through a stage of only sleeping on me, and would wake every time I put him down/in his Moses basket.

I got a BabyMoov Cosydream and would put him on it in my lap to feed him until he fell asleep and then I’d put the whole Cosydream into his Moses basket. I did this pretty much right up until he could roll over. It was a lifesaver for me, though we had another awful patch at months 5 and 6.

There was a big safety thing about ‘sleep positioners’ recently which I wouldn’t feel right not mentioning, but from my research, the Cosydream doesn’t seem to count. It’s really just a slightly shaped mattress- you can take the leg support section off and it’s not designed to keep a baby asleep on its side, but a bit of googling will let you make your own decision!

When I moved him into his own room and cot at 6 1/2 months (after realising we were just waking each other up), I had the same problem. I now get into his cot to feed him- problem not so much solved as just eliminated. Have discovered I can get away with putting him down if he falls asleep on me, though it wasn’t due to any effort on my part.

Obviously, your mileage may vary but it helped me so thought it worth mentioning!

Also, I started wearing one earplug in bed (in the ear not on the pillow). His room is very close to ours, and I found that I could still hear him and would still wake up when he cried, but it reduced my stress levels when being frequently woken during the bad patches- I’d wake up, but not with that awful jolt!

My GP didn’t believe it was reflux but gave us gaviscon anyways. I gace it him for about 2.5 weeks but there was no improvement it was just a nightmare to give it to him as it has to be given with a spoon or in a bottle with cooled boiled water. He doesn’t accept bottles and he’s 4 months so a spoon is a nightmare. He also doesn’t accept anything from a syringe. He had his 4 month jabs on Wednesday so he’s been extra clingy and stressed so I’ve held him for 2 days. I don’t know whether to go back to the doctors and ask for a different medication

sorry you're still going through difficult times @yorkshiremam96 - I would def go back to the GP and discuss your concerns with them and they should be able to show you how best to give the medication, or give you something else. Did they book you in for a follow up after prescribing the Gaviscon originally?

I would also recommend speaking to Lisa Clegg, she is a wonderful sleep consultant and will talk at length to you about the issues you are experiencing and give you an action plan, based on her years of experience. Here are her details -

[email protected]
theblissfulbabyexpert.co.uk/contact/

Hope this helps x

Bear higgy- Thank you for your reply. I took him to the doctor this morning and she prescribed him lactalose and she has made him an appointment at the hospital with specialists for reflux. I haven’t slept in 3 days due to him waking every 5-10 minutes. She said in terms of his sleep there’s no advice she can give me. I’m reluctant to have a sleep consultant as I had many as a baby which didn’t improve my sleep st all it just cost my mum a lot of money which I don’t have. I’m a single mother supporting me and my son by myself.

How are you getting on @YorkshireMam96?