At my wits end

[candycanesforever]

I'm at my wits end with my 17 month DD.

Having previously been a good sleeper we have descended into sleep Russian roulette where she will either sleep through the night or wake between 2/3 and be awake for at least 2 hours if not longer. Last night she woke at 2.30 and wouldn't go back to sleep until 5.30.

This has been going on for 2 months now and I'm at the end of my tether. She washes up crying and will immediately lie down once I go in. But as soon as I leave she screams again. She won't sleep in our bed just climbs all over me and if I stay until she goes back to sleep she wakes up 20 mins later screaming again.

What can I do? It's so frustrating because at least once a week she does sleep though so I know she can do it. She's so tired and miserable in the daytime it makes me so sad.

Hopeful bump in case anyone has any ideas.

Is there any change to naps? I know sometimes previously ‘good’ sleeers can regress if naps change. Also, there is an 18 month sleep regression so could be that? Usually regressions last a couple of weeks x

How do you feel about being her into bed with you?

Is she too young for this www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/3076785-what-is-this-witchcraft-the-rabbit-that-wants-to-go-to-sleep

I really don't want her in the bed with us.
She has never slept with us and it's not something I would consider as the few times I have brought her in she wouldn't sleep. She just got excited and wanted to leap around.

She has 1 long nap at 12.30 for between 2-3 hours depending on how the previous night has gone.

I could try the rabbit. But she goes to sleep no bother. It's just the middle of the night chaos.

It's just the middle of the night chaos

My vote is regression or teething. Hopefully it doesn’t last too long for x

That's what I thought to begin with cat lady but surely teeth or a regression wouldn't last this long!

She washes up crying and will immediately lie down once I go in. But as soon as I leave she screams again

Could you either sleep on a mattress in her room? Or bring her cot into your room and park it know a corner.

Fate I was hoping you would respond. I have used some of your advice when DD way tiny and it was so helpful.

I'm not keen to move her into our room, if I slept on a mattress on her floor would it be easy to then get her out of sleeping with one of us there? I'm really not keen on co sleeping it has never worked for either of us. I just want to find a (semi) permanent solution.

Many children always go through these phases of needing extra tlc for a while, for one reason an another. It's useful to have a plan what you'll do you maximise everyone's sleep.

I have an emergency travel cot know my room for such occasions. If toddler is unsettled (ill, over tired, in pain, feeling scared or anxious) we whip it up and plonk her in it next you my side of the bed gorgeous the night. A bed in child's bedroom would work in the same way (and long term toddler will eventually need a bed do its not a wasted purchase).

As for it becoming a habit, ending up bringing her into your bed out of desperation is more habit forming. Or you sitting in her room when you could be lying in bed.

I would make sure she still goes to bed at bedtime on her own. Then if she wakes, sleep in the room with her. The hope would be that as she recovers from over tiredness then hefty night sleep will improve so she won't wake up anyway.

We have had this a few times with our 16mo, but only for a couple of nights at a time. Luckily we have a single bed in her room so can sleep in there when needed and that gets her back to sleep if she knows one of us is there. Usually if we do that for two nights it seems to settle her and she'll start sleeping through again. However this has always been teething/illness related with her, so can't say it would work if there's another reason.

Not much to add with what to do but I sometimes end up sleeping part of the night in my daughters room (13 months) and we had bought a “chair bed” from eBay for about £40 (once when we had lots of folk staying). It’s really comfy (I’ve slept on it for over 6 hours) and folds up into a chair. Would highly recommend especially if space is a problem.

The travel cot idea is great thanks FATE but unfortunately I think we have possibly created some bad habits already. I don't feel that this is a temporary problem that is going to resolve itself in a few days (like a tooth or an illness)

Could she be overtired? Or too much sleep in the day? It's so baffling because Friday and Saturday she slept through and then The last two nights up screaming for hours. I'm not sure if she's thriving from the attention. But she just will not go back to sleep.

Both my kids were like this at this age, sounds normal to me. It will pass!! It’s dark in the middle of the night, she might feel anxious. I’d just sleep on a mattress in her room on those nights and get some sleep

I've been doing the travel cot in my room thing with my 2.5yo.

She sleeps great in it instead of wiggling around in my bed and it seems to be helping her sleep better in her own bed too. She starts the night in her own room and comes in with us if she freaks out at night.

My other 2dc were not great sleepers either as toddlers, but they're fine now so i totally see this as temporary while she needs us there.

Good luck with your wee one. 😊

I'm not sure if she's thriving from the attention

She’s really little, she’s not trying to manipulate you although I’m sure it’s really tough. Isn’t separation anxiety at its peak around that age too? I agree with fate I think bedding in with her or the other way around is the best option. Sleep anyhow, anyway.