Right tell me how to do this AP parents...want ds and dd in own room and me and dp in SAME room

[FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit]

right i am sharing rather a lot here in an attempt to get some help. anyone mocks me for my hardcore lentilly nightime parenting, i shall get a pitchfork out

ok

since dd was born 21 months ago, dp has been sharing a room with ds (3.5 ) , dd with me. Because, tbh, that was the ONLY sodding way to get some sleep. Both of my kids are utterly, utterly, crappola sleepers, which is probably in part due to me needing only about 6 hours sleep a night.

But now, bascially, I want dp and me in the same room, and the kids in a room of their own (only 2 bedrooms).

So how do we achieve this?

Here are the problems.

1. Ds will not let ANYONE except dp put him to bed. He has a complex ritual involving stories.

1. dd will not let ANYONE except me put her to bed and furthermore is usually still fed to sleep. This could possibly change, there is scope for her to have her feed earlier and then go to bed without a feed.

1. The stories are important but the kdis squabble over which story and dd has little concept as yet of turn taking, your story next etc. Of course we are working on that but in the interim, it means bedtime stress.

oh and i'd like one parent to be able to do the whole bedtime ritual so that the other could bugger off the the gym or something.

hmm. I need to work out my own thoughts here really, yours also greatly appreciated,

filly - sounds excellent. may the force be with you!

UCM i am quite sure you are at least as wonderful a mum as i am. i am attracted to all the easy parts of earth mothering. like letting them be muddy all day. that sort of thing. this too, is selfish.

thing is, nappies. she won't understand that. she really won't.

its odd, she doesn't get time, really, at all. I think ds DID at that age, and she's generally better than him at talking but worse at comprehending (I am very clear as to what he was doing at 21 months cos it was just before he was born)

ok

ugly thomas crap

I can draw but feck me I am not faffing with drawing thomas, it would suck the soul out of me, I shall find a transfer

aside from that he wants the room pink

oh i must go to bed, thanks all

she said, humbly

and yeah! what the hell is it with that blinkin thomas crap???? is the dullest of all dullerama dull stuff if you ask me...

before she was born, aaargh

he is not that preccocious

have seen silver lining in that this will necessitate amazon credit card jaunt

oh we got a packet of transfers (lucky us) easy peasy. from homebase or b&q or wherever.

bed looks great. for him i mean.

NIGHT anyway! (am off too)

yes i like to argue that it advances a pro slavery line

when i am really bored

the only time i have been able to read thomas has been when high. and then on quite strong drugs, its tedium cut through hash and so forth.

(and can i just say that that was years ago)

and now i shall go to bed, goodnight

oh, re: her not understanding. then just trick her instead
tell her what you intend to do, but dont worry if it doesnt seem to be going in... and then sidle off when shes asleep. she'll get used to it in the end. promise. ds2 was the worst at settling and night waking. but now hes the best.
all swings and roundabuts if you ask me....

wow

good luck fillyjonk

any firther posts are intended for you to read in the morning! off to bed with you!

but yes, T the Wank engine is all about knowing your position in life and not getting uppity and being useful is the only value in life - Yeurch. and SOOOO boring to boot!!!

right i had 2 thoughts last night

1. does it make a difference if I explain that ds is moving out of his own room ANYWAY so its a case of whether he temporarily resides with us or goes straight to his own room, and that if he goes in with us we can start The Process tonight, whereas otherwise its 4-5 weeks ? (his to-be room is a TIP). And in the interim he is sleeping on a sofa bed in our study

1. Am thinking woodland scene mural on wall. This is making me feel a lot better, to know that handpainted badgers will be around to consol ds at 2 am.

so i guess he will have an interim period either way, right?
well in that case i guess it wouldnt hurt to get the routine started in your room...

i reckon its the routine that counts... same things in same order... darkened rooms, drinks ready and waiting (i make mine up before the bath)

on the occasions when they arent so dog tired they fall asleep in 2 secs, i hav ea 'rule' that says 'no, you dont have to go to sleep now, but you do have to stay in bed quietly. because its bedtime. thats the rule.' and i even let em have a car or something in bed if thats what he wants... amazingly, it seems to work.

oh, and ds2 is the one who cries in the night if he cant find his milky... so ive just started putting it in front of the nightlight so when he wakes all he can see is the gently glowing spare milky in the darkness. i did go to him to give him his milk last night, but then i was still up anyway and i havmnt needed to for about a fortnight (amazing for him trust me)

re: murals, i know of a great site i will try to link to but Iexplorer playing up at the mo... grrr

F&Z

I love the idea of AP (despite never really having the patience or unselfishness to really practice it with ds) but I co-slept with my sister in a big double bed from when I can remember until I was at least 10 or 11 years old and I can say for certain it did NOT stop sibling rivalry

In fact some of our worst fights were about who was on who's side of the bed. Then again I do remember being woken often to go to the toilet with my sister who was frightened of the dark. I'd stand guard outside the loo to ward off monsters while she pee'd. I grumbled when she woke me but I always went with her I suppose my mother knew what she was doing (otherwise it would have been her getting up [grin)]

hah! my ma an pa did that lazycow - put my little bro in my bed from theirs when he was about two (little sis was on the way). little bugger kicked me out every night, then cried coz he was alone! used to make me stay awake till he was asleep coz he didnt want to be all alone. he was v cute. got away with murder, little sod.

Lazycow oh no! I am only going on what I have read in, erm, AP books

I am still trying it if the need ever arises

Filly, had another thought, could you get sth like the Tomy Starlight Dreamshow for night time?
It is battery run little thing which plays a lullaby and projects stars and bears onto the ceiling. My DS, 2.4, loves it and finds it a nice part of bedtime routine.
Just a thought...

ROFL

ds is spending the night with...

his grandparents

becuase he decided in the car on the way up there (they are staying 10 miles away for the easter holidays) that he'd quite like to go and stay with them

so he did

puts a slightly different spin on it

Christ the house is quiet

this is an absolute, freaking, out of the sodding blue, first, btw

no warning, nothing

thank god they are accomodating

now i must go and speak to my husband, i think

wow Filly, how do you feel about it? I think I would be freaking out.

I live in fear of my dd1 doing this and us going along with it and being completely unable to sleep wondering if she will be ok when she wakes during the night.

10 miles away is ok though will they phone you if required?

Oh blimey

that's a turn up for the books

are you ok?

am just

me and dp bloody fell asleep about 8.30 or something daft last night, can you believe it? bloody waste...

right have to go and get him

still

nonononononononono

sleep is never a waste

Oh fillyjonk - looks like it has all paid off - He feels secure enough to go and stay the night somewhere else off his own bat.

You must be very proud and a bit

wow filly, how did it go? what was feedback from the gp's?

he slept all night no probs

but bear in mind here my mum had him in her bed

my parents co slept with us so this wasn't an issue at all

(in fact its THEM saying are you SURE hes ready for his own bed etc. grr)

last night dp was away so he had to be with me and was NOT impressed, wanted dp etc.