Right tell me how to do this AP parents...want ds and dd in own room and me and dp in SAME room

[FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit]

right i am sharing rather a lot here in an attempt to get some help. anyone mocks me for my hardcore lentilly nightime parenting, i shall get a pitchfork out

ok

since dd was born 21 months ago, dp has been sharing a room with ds (3.5 ) , dd with me. Because, tbh, that was the ONLY sodding way to get some sleep. Both of my kids are utterly, utterly, crappola sleepers, which is probably in part due to me needing only about 6 hours sleep a night.

But now, bascially, I want dp and me in the same room, and the kids in a room of their own (only 2 bedrooms).

So how do we achieve this?

Here are the problems.

1. Ds will not let ANYONE except dp put him to bed. He has a complex ritual involving stories.

1. dd will not let ANYONE except me put her to bed and furthermore is usually still fed to sleep. This could possibly change, there is scope for her to have her feed earlier and then go to bed without a feed.

1. The stories are important but the kdis squabble over which story and dd has little concept as yet of turn taking, your story next etc. Of course we are working on that but in the interim, it means bedtime stress.

oh and i'd like one parent to be able to do the whole bedtime ritual so that the other could bugger off the the gym or something.

hmm. I need to work out my own thoughts here really, yours also greatly appreciated,

oooh happy birthday aviatrix!

right franny, so...

should we move into the "children's room" and then move out after a bit?

or try to get them to sleep there alone from the start?

I think my problem is that dd seems too young (and not ready) to be alone for the night ( though my god it would be nice, and she's not bf, BUT I am not keen to move her into ds's room at a later date....

round my gaff:

only the 14mo naps, and if he hasnt napped by 2pm, its NO GO or he'll never sleep at bedtime. this way, come bedtime, they are all knackered. a good start.

6.30 - they are reminded bedtime is nearly Upon Them

7 -bath is run, all 3 kids bunged in for a good old splash about. theres fun, theres tears, theres teeth brushing, you get the picture.

after about 15 mins, i get them out one after tuther and get em into dinosaur bathrobe towel things (an important part i think. they look cute and they like them muchly)

then into their bedroom and nappies, pj's are applied along with giggle tickles etc.

room is all prepared in advance with lamp on, nightlights for older two on (little tiny pale things. a recent addition which-hallelujah-mean no more musical beds in middle of night. sold to ds1 as 'magical guardian angel light') is always the same and a clear signal 'it is bedtime'.

then all into own beds, and drinks given in bottles. (here i will be slated, but Bring it On, i can cope ) one for each mouth, and a spare for each child in case they finish first before end of story, or wake in the night, or for first thing in the morning allowing me 5 more minutes of peace in the AM.

ONE story, maybe two, but any squabbles over which are quelled with (hollow) threat to withdraw all stories. even turn off lamp to show you mean business. story read with passion-voices etc - then light out. kisses on heads. and i sit in the dark in silence while they drink and fall asleep. i used to have to sit for ages, now they are well away in about 10 minutes.

HEY PRESTO - evening free for dp to watch telly and me to MN!!! no, i mean, converse happily in civilised manner of course.

any questions??

Crikey,where do yuo folk find the energy????

i too am v lazy and they all slept in with me (attached to boob all night) for first 6months of their lives... i got them from there to here and if i can...

its because im lazy that we had to get it sorted. your way is WAY too much like hard work.

BF or not it might work if she is v set on you doing the bedtime thing.

Is there not enough room for you dh and dd in your room if she is not ready?

here is the other problem with them sleeping in their own rooms

I would have to get up in the night to see to them and, really, I cannot be arsed

hmmm, so many decisions

dd is very weird re stories

ds was well into them, even spotting a few words, by her age

she bascially does not do them, except to tear apart the odd book.

Joint story time is utterly impossible, I think. Story tapes...maybe...maybe...

(god that would be nice...stick a tape on and bugger off downstairs...)

Yes stories on CD are fab, we have a whole collection and these really helped in our quest for peaceful bedtime routine...
The V Hungry Caterpillar is lovely, plus Kipper read by Dawn French and a couple of Oliver Jeffers stories read by Paul McGann, my DS loves these (in addition to us reading him 3 or 4 books before bedtime!)...

lol. ditto. am kerrrap in the night.
till v recently they were both (biggeruns) waking in the night about once. instead of going in and comforting then coming back, id just climb in with them and stay there all night. seemed to do the trick.

but, like i say, the nightlights have put a stop to night scares!! huzzah!

Filly why would you need to go in to see them during the night?

Filly

DD1 in own room for most of the night until at least 5 normally.

DD2 in own room until whenever she needs fed after I have gone to bed.

It is worth the stumbling about for the few hours without them, although quite frankly at times I pine after sleeping completely alone.

what happens in the night fj?

ds is still in our room for the same reason, but he doesn't wake up any more. am feeling very motivated by your thread, own room this weekend i think.

Are you presuming they wont be settled in the night? Have read that often when two toddlers share they sleep better than when alone as they are comforted by the other one being there, this might work for you?

right so vote

is it an appallingly bad idea to bung them in our room first to get them used to being together and then move them out?

and

can I start ds in his own room then move dd in, say a year later?

both wake at least once in the night, dd often more

she is not bf in the night though, but is a bit wobbly about this

god i would like to be a kafkan wearing earth mummy with an enormous bed but sadly, i am not

Filly she wouldn't be alone, she would be with ds

does that make a difference? If I had another baby I would be trying to get them out of my bed well before 3 - "you can go and sleep with ds1"

How often does she feed at night? What sort of other things do they wake for at night? Ds stopped waking, virtually FULL STOP in the night not long after we put him in his own room. He still does wake sometimes, I stagger in. The main thing is when he can't find his drink, or when he's had a bad dream. I am assuming the night time disturbances thing is pretty much long term part of being a parent so other than knocking your two rooms into one and installing a 20 ft futon I think you will have to cope with that, to some extent...

is it an appallingly bad idea to bung them in our room first to get them used to being together and then move them out?

Yes Tis crap.
and

can I start ds in his own room then move dd in, say a year later?

Yes. Great idea.

sorry cross posts about the feeding

you don't feed in the night? Good GOD woman what are you complaining about?

ooh it really is like sims. ok i vote
move them in together in OWN ROOOM
i don't like your options very much they sound like more of the same but worse.

no. get them both in room together, at same time, and not yours.

it may well atke time, and if they wake in the night, feel free to take whatever pathof least resistance (dd in with you if she asks, whatever)

but get the night started out in the way you want it to go for the forseeable.

ours took a fair while to get to where we are but my word, id go NUTS if i didnt get some space of an eve.

I would put them into the same room at the same time so they dont feel lonely since they are not used to sleeping alone.
Wouldn't do this via your room, but thats just my opinion, think it better to start as you mean to go on and make it a fun adventure for them, rather than see it as anxiety making exercise for you and DH.
They might pick up this anxious vibe too so best to try and focus on the fun they will have sharing a room....

Is Dd weaned completely?