Right tell me how to do this AP parents...want ds and dd in own room and me and dp in SAME room

[FillyjonkIsMilitantAboutFruit]

right i am sharing rather a lot here in an attempt to get some help. anyone mocks me for my hardcore lentilly nightime parenting, i shall get a pitchfork out

ok

since dd was born 21 months ago, dp has been sharing a room with ds (3.5 ) , dd with me. Because, tbh, that was the ONLY sodding way to get some sleep. Both of my kids are utterly, utterly, crappola sleepers, which is probably in part due to me needing only about 6 hours sleep a night.

But now, bascially, I want dp and me in the same room, and the kids in a room of their own (only 2 bedrooms).

So how do we achieve this?

Here are the problems.

1. Ds will not let ANYONE except dp put him to bed. He has a complex ritual involving stories.

1. dd will not let ANYONE except me put her to bed and furthermore is usually still fed to sleep. This could possibly change, there is scope for her to have her feed earlier and then go to bed without a feed.

1. The stories are important but the kdis squabble over which story and dd has little concept as yet of turn taking, your story next etc. Of course we are working on that but in the interim, it means bedtime stress.

oh and i'd like one parent to be able to do the whole bedtime ritual so that the other could bugger off the the gym or something.

hmm. I need to work out my own thoughts here really, yours also greatly appreciated,

Yes don't move them around any more than you have to

if you think ds can cope with being alone at night then go for it

but I think the fact he will know you have dd in with you will make it harder, and it does seem kind of mean that the only one affected by the changes is him? Can you put some spin on this so he doesn't feel the injustice of it? (not saying it actually is unjust but seeing it potentially from his POV)

Ok I can't find it on the acronym list, but what is AP please, I was going to say that cod is right, but can't until I know what AP means....??

hmm

i need to think about the moving dd in later option

i am not sure re their dynamic

they get on fabulously well. think cos ds is quite girly and dd quite boyish so they kind of meet very well in the middle. ds is very protective of her, its really lovely.

BUT

a part of that I THINK is because he has always had his own space and time with us and so on. so he doesn't have to be nice to her, he chooses to be, if that makes sense, cos he can always just go away.

aaargh can't afford to move. crap.

only other option is study as bed #2 but actually dp does need this in order to work from home, and plus its our nominal boudoir. crap.

oh spin -absolutely!

spin spin spin it to them. be super excited about their fabulous new routine and 'ooh look at the new stickers on the wall in your new room!' etc etc etc.

do it for a week or two before you actually effect changes and they'll be GAGGING to go by the time you do.

You can't fit dd's cot in the study too can you?

yes franny i think you are right re the injustice from his POV

oh also dd rolls and likes to turn in a circle while sleeping, that will take some thinking on.

AP -attachment parenting

they say co-sleeping among siblings virtually eradicates fighting and rivalry and all that

but then they would, wouldn't they?

Don't wish to sound bossy but isnt it also about what you and DH need? You need some space for you and your relationship, for your sakes and to be happy parents.
Am sure the DCs will get on fine with sharing a room if no other option, think kids of that age are mcuh easier going than we perhaps realise...

filly - is anything i say of any interest to you or should i just bugger off?

(am happy to, not odffended)

OK, still not sure what that is so will shut gob now. I know it's been mentioned on here so will look it up,.

re this spin

dd is only 21 months old

now i quite prepared to consider that she might not be thoroughly gifted-she is baby #2, after all, and she hasn't been weighed since she left the hospital, but

I don't think she would understand the spinning

Forgot to add, good luck Filly, it sounds complex

mine hardly ever argue and are deeply protective and affectionate. and they sleep together.

spin is surely for your DS, let DD just get on with it...

no no no nappies, its really helpful, I am reading what you say and churning it. in fact i have saved your routine to word to modify to produce our own routine. its just-no i don't have questions really, cos you are explaining it all pretty clearly!

sorry thread is moving too fast, should have acknowleged you here.

UCM - i told you! look down a post or teo.

and at 21 months more goes in than you think. just be really excited and talk a lot in v positive tones about how great it will be to have her own bed and what colour sheets does she want and how fantastic it will be to be with her brother and how mock-sad you are that the kids room is just for kids and you'll miss out coz youre too big, not like her, the lucky wee thing etc etc

oh cool! and and

lol nappies

if i do that it will be "nonononono milky stay milky stay nonnononono....milky stay...please?"

I agree with Nappiesgalore, make it a fun exercise for all of you - am sure you too will be excited to have own space and let the dynamics unfold. Might take a while but am sure it will work better than current arrangement...

Nappies, I did read it, but still wasn't sure what it involved. I do now cos I read a thread on it. It sounds very earth motherish and lovely. Shamefully I will never be a lentil weaver, I am far too selfish

right need to go to bed, thanks all, will return tommorrow

so

plan is now

do up kids room with thomas (he doesn't even watch tv, WHY are they all obsessed with fecking thomas?) on walls and crap

spin it to him

stick 2 bed in there

dd uses room for naps and to go off to sleep

ds sleeps in there

ok and now you are going to shout at me but...

once they wake up in the night, they get to come in with us if they so wish...cos I can't be arsed with getting up in the cold cold night and also, a few hours is enough.

christ this is going to be hard, thank god I have to clear their room first.

Filly

That sounds brill. Go for it.

you being the milky, right?

hmmmm....

then say, lovingly but definately, that milky will stay dfor a bit... and will be back to check on her v often... but has to go to the toilet or something...

i avoid direct confrontation too. no point making it hard.

if i try to leave b4 ds1 is asleep enough, now i mean, and he asks why im going, i say im going for a wee. he lets that go. if i say im off, he wakes up more to protest. i dont go back tho...

Sounds very good for a start

well done indeed

I am only sorry to hear about the necessity of Thomas crap because he is so tedious and ugly to look at

but yes spot on you have it I think