Why won't he stay asleep??

[LillyBugg]

This is driving me to despair. DS is 4.5 months and wakes so frequently. During the day he only ever sleeps about 20 mins, if I'm lucky, before waking. At night it's every 40-60 minutes. He is so agitated all the time. It's like he never relaxes. He doesn't sleep on his back, he just flails around and ends up in a right state so he sleeps on his side. Swaddling doesn't work. He has a dummy, it falls out all the time and he wakes. White noise doesn't work. Sling does work but I can't have him on me all the time and obviously this doesn't work at night. Please don't tell me it's the four month regression as he has always been like this, you have to be sleeping to then regress from it. The longest he's ever slept is about 3 hours and that was overnight. He hasn't done that for weeks and weeks now. Please help, I feel like I'm being tortured.

Made some progress last night!!

He woke at 7.45 and 10.30 and just cuddled back to sleep. Then at 12 he woke and did a fair bit of crying. We tried to settle him but he wasn't having it. But he wasn't screaming, more moaning. So I went to bed and left him. He must have fallen asleep because next thing it was 4! So not only did he do a longer stretch than normal but he also self settled. I cuddled for about 3 mins at 4am. He then went to 6.45 when he woke for the day. I fed him then.

So, he did some long stretches, he had no milk ALL night long and he did one self settle! Hurrah!

Fingers crossed it's not a one off...

Same here! DD is 5 months, on an average day will do 3-5 catnaps of 10-30 mins, then up every 2 hours during the night. Also EBF, also co-sleeping, although we're trying to get her used to sleeping in her Moses basket. She won't take a dummy, or only very occasionally. She's basically been like this since 2mo. Also, she never goes down for the night til 11pm or later. I also have a 5yo so no opportunity to rest in the day, and I go back to work in a week's time. So I feel your pain.

Reflux hadn't occurred to me as DD2 is so happy and smiley most of the time, and doesn't spit up that much. She sometimes has an hour in the late evening of screaming her head off but I assumed that was over-tiredness.

That's great news LillyBugg, so pleased that you had a better night. It must make you feel so much more positive about things! Let's hope it continues for you. Good luck tonight x

n0ne I cant imagine going back to work. Hats off to you!!

Another improved night woke at 10.30 (cuddle), 12.20 (cuddle), 12.50 (self settled), 4.45 (cuddle) and 6.45 for the day. Actually I fed him and got an extra half hour out of him in the morning.

I feel like I had some proper sleep
Last night. 1- basically 5 was absolute bloody bliss.

Please let this be it. Please let this continue!!!

Don't give up !!! Even if you just get several better nights it's progress! X

Ah well done, that's great progress!

Excellent news..fingers crossed you've turned the corner..well done!! xx

Okay so I'm back. It's worse than ever. I now don't feed him at night and he still bloody wakes up all the time!!!! Last night it was every 40 mins until midnight. When he did two hours. Then every forty mins until 5am. Why why why is he waking up so bloody much??? I'm so tired I just want to cry.

How much is he eating during the day? Is he teething? Learning to crawl? what are his naps like during day? Every time he wakes us he screaming?!

Eating three full meals a day, a mixture of purée and ordinary food. Plus two snacks usually. Drinking plenty of water. Maybe 6 breastfeeds a day. I don't always count.

He has one tooth. It appeared without any trouble. No signs of anymore.

He's been crawling a couple of weeks now, can pull himself to stand easily enough.

Naps, generally a short morning one, up to an hour which is usually 2-3 hours after waking. Then a longer one after lunch. Up to two hours. Occasionally a third depending when the day started and how successful nap 2 was. The third is short, maybe 30 mins or so. The third nap doesn't correlate with a poor night.

When he wakes he cries a bit and works up to full on screaming. Stands in his cot. I go in and lay him back down, rub his back and put on Ewan. He usually goes straight back to sleep. It's rare he's wide awake in the night but sometimes has trouble going back off so can be up for 1-2 hours. He doesn't want to play, he doesn't want to feed. He is rubbing his eyes exhausted and crying. If I cuddle him he fidgets. If I lay him down he screams.

What are his purées? Are they carbs/protein? Do you cluster feed before bed?

If he has a purée it's usually alongside other solid foods. So sometimes it's a convenience thing at lunch, I grab a pouch rather than make a sandwich I know will end up on the floor. So it'll be a purée casserole or something plus some bits to pick at. He always has a proper dinner. Sometimes with purée fruit after, or a yoghurt. I alternate.

He has a breastfeed immediately before bed but I wouldn't say it was a cluster feed. He hasn't cluster fed for months. He usually falls asleep feeding at bed time, but not always. When he doesn't, I cuddle until sleepy and then lay him down with Ewan and he drifts off to sleep.

I think all I can offer is to go to drs to rule out all the usuals....is he still on 50th percentile?
When did you want him off the boob?
Is he in a cot? Do you think it coincides with his dummy falling out all the time? X

I haven't had him weighed in ages so I'm not sure. Maybe I should concede and get him weighed and speak to a dreaded health visitor.
He won't accept bottles so I don't think he'll be weaned any time soon. I'm a stay at home Mum so no need to not feed him. I'm in no hurry, I plan to feed as long as I'm happy to.
Yes he sleeps in a cot.
I don't think he wakes at every dummy fall out. And he can put it back in anyway. When he's stood up screaming it's often in his mouth.

thank you for trying. Maybe I just need to accept he wakes a lot and that is that.

Two out of three of my babies have been like this.. my 4 month old is currently up most of the night. It’s just babies isn’t it? They all learn to sleep eventually. My two eldest now sleep like a dream... I’m just riding this out now until my youngest does! Try not to get too stressed, hand baby to your partner as often as possible (especially weekends!) and try to catch up on sleep then

I'd avoid hv and go straight to gp.
I'm sorry I wish I could make it better. The only other thing is to officially sleep train but you need to be an ice queen like me

Oly you had a baby like this and then went in to have another one?! Are you mad?!

I know I should just say babies are babies but he's almost nine months now and he wakes as frequently as a newborn. I honestly thought I'd be getting more sleep by now. And it's seriously put me right off having a third baby.