If you've had an early riser PLEASE come in!

[upsidedown2017]

Almost 2 year old has been waking for the day between 4.50am and 5.30am for as long as I can remember. It's been a consistent theme since the early months and I think his body clock is very much set. We have tried lots of things. Nothing works.

Here's the thing; call me dramatic but it's ruining my life. For almost 2 years I've gone to bed soon after the kids do. I've not had an evening for that long. I can't function if I don't get 8 hours sleep (genuine medical condition). I can't get any freelance work done as I don't have an evening - by the time kids are in bed, dishwasher put on, clothes put away, stuff ready for the next day it's time for me to trundle off to bed. It's caused so many arguments between DH and I that are marriage is almost over.

I feel like I'm wasting my life. It was 4.50 today. I can't function at that time ... I've never been a morning person. I get my best work done in the evening. We end up sitting watching fireman sam or similar until 8.30am. That's almost 4 hours screen time before most people's day has started. I despise it! If he got up at a more reasonable time I'd feel up for getting everyone dressed, breakfast then out for an activity. As it stands I've had 3 coffees, a Diet Coke and am back in bed for a nap while DH watches the kids in the lounge.

I feel like we are wasting every weekend in this shitty routine. I feel awful and fed up all the time. All my friends kids sleep until 7 like our eldest did. I don't know anyone else that has gone through this like I have.

I am at the end of my rope.

I want my evening back! I want to be able to watch a series of an evening like most other adults! I want to feel like I'm living not existing. I want to start my day at a more normal time!

What can I do? I'm open to any and every suggestion!

Later bedtime makes NO difference.

Yes we have blackout blinds but he is always up before the sun rises anyway.

No, I don't think he's hungry - he's very well covered and slightly overweight if anything.

Supper makes no difference. He's definitely getting enough calories.

He's tired. He can't make it past 9.30am some days without napping. He looks shattered. I believe he needs to sleep longer.

It makes no real difference what nap length he has in the day.

HELP

2yrs are devious, he knows that if he moans/cries you will go in and then tv on downstairs

go in, tell him its nightime and leave room, after 5 mins repeat, then 10mins repeat

it will take time and in those 2/3w you will feel shattered as will be darined by in and out, rather then slumped in front of tv

gro colcks are good as long as you stick by them, so if stars then stay in bed, adjust clock to 10mins after their wake up time so that he sees when sun is up he can get up

he will get the pattern and wait for sun, if you make him stay in his room and say its still sleep time

then each day chnage by 10mins so after a week its just over an hour later

its time time to adjust a bad sleep pettern and wont be done in a few days so you neeed to stick to it

and yes dh should help

Blondes 2 year olds aren’t devious. And I tried that with my dd for 2 terrible bloody weeks because people told me I was a mug. It nearly broke both of us. Didn’t change a thing and resulted in well meaning neighbour asking if everything was ok. Dd2 I just accepted and did things to make it easier for us all, including letting her in bed, getting in bed.

Can I reiterate, just because a method worked for you does not mean it will work for everyone.

And to reassure about the letting them in your bed issue, at 7 and 11 mine never come in and I miss them!

No, he was overtired from waking up early on Saturday. He was horrible all day Saturday.

He woke up at 6.15 this morning, I sent him back to bed with the tablet until 6.55.

Gro clocks do work but you need to explain and show how it works and as I said first few days set few mins after they would wake up. So praise them for staying in bed and stickers as a visual reward help

So the first night it would only be a few mins moaning after you have gone in and said it's still sleep time. When the sun is up it's time to get up

Then sun is up few mins later. And you praise etc

Then slowly change wake /sun time

But it is does take time and you have to be consistent and may take a few weeks to see results

Yes what may work for one sometimes doesn't work for another but in most cases it does - I've sleep trained many babies and toddlers and this method had worked on all so it's not just me saying I did it on my baby so one child

It is easier to do someone else's child. You don't have the heart strings but hopefully with both parents working together (if are two) then more sleep can be achieved over time

Would 6yo be too old to start? I'm trying to find one on eBay, I can't afford a new one.

OP I'm 50 and still rarely sleep longer than 5.30 am, this morning it was 6 am because I was reading well beyond midnight.

I think getting up and putting cartoons on is a mistake.

It's not the waking that is the problem it is the getting out of bed and being 'up'.

People with far more experience than me will have suggestions but could you do the 'now you are 2 you are not a bay, you are a little boy', and tell him he has to stay in his room until - well pick a time for you.

Maybe some brand new big boy pajamas with a pastern or character he likes. Stickers for staying in his room.

Sounds awful, but there should be light at the end of the tunnel. It won't be long before you can leave him to play in his room with a DVD on and give him a packed breakfast you've made the night before to give you some more sleep.

Sorry it’s a long thread so I haven’t read all of it

I’ve just got an activity watch and looking at my own sleep cycles is fascinating. We naturally switch between deep and light sleep, your problem is the translation is waking DS close enough to ‘daytime’ that he wakes fully and loses a whole sleep
cycle.

So what worked for us were the following changes, consistently and rigidly enforced:

• more food during the day
• less sleep during the day
• much earlier bedtime (6.30 latest)
• ‘cold turkey’ on getting up

So when she woke, I went in, said ‘it’s sleeping time’ laid her back down and stayed like a stone in a chair by the door. Every time she stood, I laid her back down agIn. Repeat x 1,000 until she gave up / it was 6.30am. No talking. She was fucking furious with me but it took 3 nights, each night with less resistance until just one half hearted attempt, I laid her back down once and then she just went straight back to sleep. Then that was it, we were on 6.30 and used the gro clock gradual method to push back to 7am.

So it can be done - good luck

@FusionChefGeoff - lovely advice, thank you so much. I am committed to resolving this as I think it's really important. I at least want to try and if it's still not better after several weeks of consistency then maybe give up after that!

Good point about the food in the day - how on earth do you know if they're getting enough or not?!

Daytime sleep I know is a factor for us as I've noticed the pre-5am wake ups do seem to result following longer than normal nap. I think 1 hour max for us.

I just, again rigidly and consistently offered 3 meals and 2 substantial snacks throughout the day. Can’t remember exact times but 7, 10, 12, 2.30 5.30 feels about right! And sit down with her at the table to make sure she wants to stay and eat, not rush off and do something else.

Up.at 4.15 am with 21 month old after a crap night's sleep. Not sure how much more I can take.

We got 5 today! He woke at 3.30 and iwas worried that was it but he went back to sleep. I didnt though so feel very tired. The wind is awful here. Just a thought but my lb always been fidgetty sleeper and when younger i found he slept better quiet tightly tucked in or in gro bag.

Can I join please?

22 month old, regular 5 am wake up time. I’m going to give cc a go at the weekend to try and push it back.

She won’t even come in our bed, she just screams to go downstairs

My DD is 6, and has mostly stopped this now. However, I just wanted to say that if you get a Gro clock plug it in somewhere inaccessible to them. Ours was useless in under a week because I could only plug it in in one place, and DD learned to switch it off at the wall.

I had to go in to my 5 and 6yos and ask them to keep it down at 5.15 this morning.

What the fuck have we done to deserve this?

I don't have any answers because I didn't really crack this with dd and she remained an early riser until her teens. It just got better when she could tell the time and stayed in her room to read until 7 am.

Just start plotting your revenge! I've been telling dd for years that I will wreak my revenge when she's 16. Her birthday is in 3 weeks. She's nervous!

@onefortheroadplease - mine is also incapable of having a nice snuggle/doze/sleep in bed. We get hit and screamed at so have completely abandoned all ideas about that! He is so wilful and demanding

I can't believe how many of us there are on this thread. I don't know anyone in real life dealing with this problem.

@upsidedown2017 , it’s putting me off trying for another . I’m nearly 40 so don’t really have time to waste, but the thought of being up with a newborn and then starting the day at 5am is really worrying me!

I think we're stuck at 6.15 here.

@EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck - I’d be delighted with 6.15!  You are doing really well to achieve that!

@onefortheroadplease well that is really sad but I understand where you’re coming from. If DS had been our first he’d have been our only child. He’s absolutely lovely but such hard work in every sense.

I've put him to bed 10 minutes later every night. Even though I'm still doing that, it's been 6.15 the last few mornings.

What times he going to bed now @EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck ? later bedtimes have never amounted to any difference in wakeup for us

He was late last night because we had parents' evening with appointments spaced 30 minutes apart! 😨 The other night was 8.30.

Our DS has gone to bed at 8.30/9/9.30 before due to family occasions and still wakes at 5.30!

Another late night. This week we've had parents' evening, after school club and an international family food evening. It'll be interesting to see what time he wakes up on Saturday morning.