If you've had an early riser PLEASE come in!

[upsidedown2017]

Almost 2 year old has been waking for the day between 4.50am and 5.30am for as long as I can remember. It's been a consistent theme since the early months and I think his body clock is very much set. We have tried lots of things. Nothing works.

Here's the thing; call me dramatic but it's ruining my life. For almost 2 years I've gone to bed soon after the kids do. I've not had an evening for that long. I can't function if I don't get 8 hours sleep (genuine medical condition). I can't get any freelance work done as I don't have an evening - by the time kids are in bed, dishwasher put on, clothes put away, stuff ready for the next day it's time for me to trundle off to bed. It's caused so many arguments between DH and I that are marriage is almost over.

I feel like I'm wasting my life. It was 4.50 today. I can't function at that time ... I've never been a morning person. I get my best work done in the evening. We end up sitting watching fireman sam or similar until 8.30am. That's almost 4 hours screen time before most people's day has started. I despise it! If he got up at a more reasonable time I'd feel up for getting everyone dressed, breakfast then out for an activity. As it stands I've had 3 coffees, a Diet Coke and am back in bed for a nap while DH watches the kids in the lounge.

I feel like we are wasting every weekend in this shitty routine. I feel awful and fed up all the time. All my friends kids sleep until 7 like our eldest did. I don't know anyone else that has gone through this like I have.

I am at the end of my rope.

I want my evening back! I want to be able to watch a series of an evening like most other adults! I want to feel like I'm living not existing. I want to start my day at a more normal time!

What can I do? I'm open to any and every suggestion!

Later bedtime makes NO difference.

Yes we have blackout blinds but he is always up before the sun rises anyway.

No, I don't think he's hungry - he's very well covered and slightly overweight if anything.

Supper makes no difference. He's definitely getting enough calories.

He's tired. He can't make it past 9.30am some days without napping. He looks shattered. I believe he needs to sleep longer.

It makes no real difference what nap length he has in the day.

HELP

OP - you need to stick at it for a good two weeks or so to establish the nap at the right time and for it to start making a difference to the early wakings. It won’t make a difference if you only did it for less than a week, sorry.

I remember this. My youngest was and still is an early riser. I have no advice beyond what others have suggested. If its any consolation it makes things easier when they are teenagers. He's always up and ready to go to school while I'm losing my rag with his brother who would sleep til tea time if allowed.

Agree with others that it wont be long before you can reason with/bribe him into entertaining himself until a reasonable hour.

No don't give him breakfast just go in his room so so quietly, remove him from his cot whisper to him and change his nappy and then put him back to bed with only milk.
So make the milk before you go up and change him.
Then leave the room. He may whinge but then hopefully back to sleep

I have a two years old and I had a 4.50 wake up too! We go out every morning and nap tends to be around 11.30.

Bed time can be anything from 6.30 / 7.30pm. If overtired or napped late it can be 9.30 before he'll actually go to sleep. Still the same wake up time though.

He is in with us and will still breastfeed for comfort. He won't go back to sleep if I try and remove my boob though! We really need to move into own room and night wean I suppose!

I've had a gro clock suggested to me, but I think it's not a matter of keeping him away from me until I want to get up, I really believe he needs more sleep! He's got black eyes and seems tired. Will the clock encourage him to stay asleep after a while?

I set my alarm for 3.50 this morning so I had a chance to get washed, dressed and coffee'd before he woke up. He woke up at 4.55. I can't possibly get him to bed any earlier on a school night, when he goes at 6.30 he falls straight to sleep.

Contessa that doesn't bode well for me, DS2 was born at 2.26am!

My nearly 3 year old seems to be gradually coming out of this phase. She was a pre-5am walker about a year ago.... and then napped around 9 due to exhaustion. She just seemed to gradually get a bit later - to 5.30ish for a while. We have for a few months set the groclock for 6.30, she usually is still up well before then though, but it’s now a bad day if it’s before 6. Today, for the first time ever, we actually had to get her up at 7!! I’m expecting that to be a one off though....

Christ Evil, how do you cope?! I am full-on murderous if awakened for the day before 5.30!!

As for my theory: in my sample size of 2 it is accurate, as DS2 was born at the more civilised hour of 11.13pm and slept his first night like a good boy however, DS1 has trained him to awaken at 5.30am. Fucker

I have a sample size of 4, DD2 was born at 8.48pm and naturally wakes up 7.30am, so it holds true for her.

I've no idea how I cope. I go to bed straight after DD2, or at least after I've put washing on radiators and made packed suppers the night before their after school club day. 😴

@EvilDoctorBallerinaVampireDuck I've contemplated this many times the longer it's gone on...I so want to be the mother who is showered, dressed & coffeed before kids are but a 4am alarm is SO wrong! Did you feel better for it? The only time I set the alarm i hit snooze when it came to it!

The only thing that worked for mine was an earlier night, a MUCH earlier night. So she used to wake at 5, so I put her to bed between 5 and 6 to get her catching up on sleep. It was hard because everything had to be brought forward, but it did work. She still slept until the same time but was having an extra couple of hours at the beginning of the night so wasnt as tired the following day. She then just started sleeping later each morning when she wasn't going to bed absolutely shattered and morning wake up started being more around 6 (still from 5/6 the previous night depending on how she had or hadn't napped). She's now almost 4 and still needs an early night otherwise things backfire. She is always in bed fir 6/6.30 and usually sleeps until 6.30/7 the next morning. She still goes through overtired phases and the night before last was in bed fir half 5. It sounds weird and I never thought it would work but it does. And if we are on holiday and she goes to bed later, we have unsettled nights or early mornings or a combination of both.
I have a 13 month old baby who is exactly the same. And this time around I'm not worried about putting him to bed early. He will happily sleep from 5.30-6.30/7 but a 7.30 bedtime leads to 4am wake ups! It's bizarre

My son (19 months) always woke at 5 up until a couple of months ago when I started putting him to bed earlier 7 instead of half past and giving weetabix or toast before bed. Don't know if he would have grown out of it anyway though. Generally he sleeps until 6 which i am pathetically grateful for! Unless teething then it's earlier anyway I am worried sick about the clocks going back again in a couple of weeks which means we will be back to getting up early again does anyone have any ideas on how to overcome this change? I'm dreading it!

upsidedown I feel less frustrated that DS2's sitting on his arse playing Terraria rather than getting dressed and washed. He can do that after he's ready. I'm going to try and make bedtime 10 minutes later every night and see if that works. Then I have DD2 who I wake up at 6.15, and she still hasn't even undone her onesie at 6.45!

Deduct I can't physically get DS2 to bed any earlier on a school night, and at weekends it doesn't seem to make much difference. He's already in bed and straight to sleep at 6.30. The earliest he's woken up recently is 4.40.

Why is your DH allowed to opt out of his equal share?

It's the nap. No napping until 1pm ever - maybe even dropping it altogether.

Early naps reward early waking.

@OnionShite

Absolutely - both parents should absolutely take it in turns, unless one isn't home until quite late every day. You have to go to bed really early and lose your evening to keep enough sleep hours in the bank.

I'm concerned he's going to be like this for years to come. DH has pointed out that the clock change at the end of Oct means he'll be getting up pre-4am.
So will you, right?! I don't get his argument.

Your DH should definitely take half the mornings. If he takes the first hour, you can sleep until six and he can then go to work and be there nice and early

When my DS is awake this early I never let him leave the room, keep the lights dimmed and tell him it's still night time, everybody is still sleeping (the birds, the dogs, nieces, grandpa, etc.). Maybe change nappy or give him something to drink but then put him back to bed.
He can play with something if he wants, but not leave the bed/room until 07:30. Works like a charm.

In my house any baby over the age of 12 months isn't allowed to get up until after 6am. I treat anything before that as night time so-nappy change if needed, beaker of water/bottle in bed if needed, check temp then I leave the room. I don't talk to them except perhaps a whispered 'what's the matter', I don't turn lights on and more importantly I don't rush out of bed, it can take 10-20 mins for them to get a response so they have to work at it! No daytime naps after age 2.5 (unless they conk out themselves), and all kids under 5 in bed by 7pm. Those are my night time rules, summer and winter (although in the heatwave my 2 and 1 year old did have a couple of late nights as their room was over 30c tbf)

Oh and under 2.5 the afternoon nap mustn't go on longer than 3pm. I do wake my kids at 3 if need be.

I'm also one of those mums up before the kids! I get up at 6 and they wake up at 7 and 7.30 so I get showered and dressed before the day starts.

I got a gro clock for mine. You set it so the face changes from a moon to a sun when you want it to be morning. Ds is just turned 4 but we've had it since he was 2.

It's honestly life changing. He might awake but because it works as a light (with the sun being brighter) he just plays/reads until his 'special clock says it's morning'.

He's even gone back to sleep at 5:30 once or twice when it's been pointed out to him that it was still night time 'because look, the moon is still up so go back to bed'

It was a bit of a last hope purchase because absolutely nothing else we had tried made a jot of difference but that clock is a lifesaver

They're fairly inexpensive on Amazon

You may find that the clock change forces a change in the right direction. My eldest always did that in autumn.

So Mamabear what do you do if you do all that, but they don't go back to sleep but instead cry increasingly loudly? Do you leave them till 6am?

Ha well my dd woke up at whatever stupid time she felt like and was very noisy and unreasonable very quickly, and no amount of ignoring or drinks of water or nappy changes would have shut her up. Absolutely no way. The whole household including dc at school and adults going to work cannot start the day at 4/5am so really the only option for us was for one of us to get up with her.

Same no way would my boy give up that easily! He's so stubborn his screaming just escalates!