If you've had an early riser PLEASE come in!

[upsidedown2017]

Almost 2 year old has been waking for the day between 4.50am and 5.30am for as long as I can remember. It's been a consistent theme since the early months and I think his body clock is very much set. We have tried lots of things. Nothing works.

Here's the thing; call me dramatic but it's ruining my life. For almost 2 years I've gone to bed soon after the kids do. I've not had an evening for that long. I can't function if I don't get 8 hours sleep (genuine medical condition). I can't get any freelance work done as I don't have an evening - by the time kids are in bed, dishwasher put on, clothes put away, stuff ready for the next day it's time for me to trundle off to bed. It's caused so many arguments between DH and I that are marriage is almost over.

I feel like I'm wasting my life. It was 4.50 today. I can't function at that time ... I've never been a morning person. I get my best work done in the evening. We end up sitting watching fireman sam or similar until 8.30am. That's almost 4 hours screen time before most people's day has started. I despise it! If he got up at a more reasonable time I'd feel up for getting everyone dressed, breakfast then out for an activity. As it stands I've had 3 coffees, a Diet Coke and am back in bed for a nap while DH watches the kids in the lounge.

I feel like we are wasting every weekend in this shitty routine. I feel awful and fed up all the time. All my friends kids sleep until 7 like our eldest did. I don't know anyone else that has gone through this like I have.

I am at the end of my rope.

I want my evening back! I want to be able to watch a series of an evening like most other adults! I want to feel like I'm living not existing. I want to start my day at a more normal time!

What can I do? I'm open to any and every suggestion!

Later bedtime makes NO difference.

Yes we have blackout blinds but he is always up before the sun rises anyway.

No, I don't think he's hungry - he's very well covered and slightly overweight if anything.

Supper makes no difference. He's definitely getting enough calories.

He's tired. He can't make it past 9.30am some days without napping. He looks shattered. I believe he needs to sleep longer.

It makes no real difference what nap length he has in the day.

HELP

DD woke between 4.15 and 5am every morning until she was about 4.5. DH and I took it in turns to get up with her.

Your original post has described my weekends to a tee. We were up at 4.30 this morning, watched t.v. until about 9.30. I hate it.

I'm sure I've read that if you wake your child an hour before they usually get up so, say 4am then this rights their body clock and they will sleep for longer? A bit like waking a baby for a dream feed I suppose?

As a PP said - the gro clock is the way forward. Though your DC may need to be a little bit older. DD1 is a congenital early riser, even school hasn't sorted it. Usual wake up time about 5. BUT from about 2.5 yrs old she was able to understand that she had to stay in her room until the sun showed at 6.30. Reward chart helped as did a lot of being cross when she did come in to us. Also a monitor helped so we could hear if she had any legitimate issues (eg poo or lost fav toy) without having to go in to her and get her hopes up iyswim!

If you are going to try the nappy change and drink idea I'd do it about 10 when you go to bed rather than 4am

You have my sympathy OP. Both my boys (2 and 6) are congenital early risers up by 5-5.30 every morning. I haven't had a proper lie in since 2011. DH is useless at getting up early. He can't do the early morning without having to have a nap later on.
I feel like a shell of my former self. to you x

Massive sympathy op. My eldest dd has been an early riser for pretty much as long as I can remember. She’s nearly 5 and usually wakes sometime between 5-6 but we have had her wake even earlier before. There was one incident where she woke at 3am and despite being sent back to bed she didn’t go back to sleep (and neither did I) and then another time we found her downstairs at 2:30am watching bloody tiny pop at full volume, I was mortified and exhausted.

The gro-clock actually worked like a dream at first and she actually would go back to sleep if she woke early, we thought we’d cracked it but unfortunately for us it didn’t last. She’s now old enough to go downstairs in the morning, put the tv on and get herself an apple or similar as a snack, but due to the incident I mentioned previously she’s only allowed out of her bed when the sun on the clock comes out (6.30) or she loses that privilege. Often that means she’s lying awake in bed from 5am onwards but I don’t know what else to do. Her behaviour and temperament at home is shocking at the moment and it’s obvious she needs more sleep but we can’t force her. I would absolutely love for her to sleep till 7 which is when I usually get up anyway unless younger dd wakes and starts shouting for us.

Later/earlier bedtimes don’t seem to work for us. In fact later bedtimes are rarely a good idea as she will usually wake at her usual time and be even more tired than usual.

Sorry not really helpful. Hope you manage to find a solution op, will be following this thread for tips for my own dd.

Delete - that's my DD exactly. Let me know if you find a solution and I'll let you know!

Will do mini.

Forgot to add that after the midnight tv incident she did actually drop back off to sleep!

It is exhausting though. People think that once your dc start sleeping through you start feeling normal again, but if they’re a ridiculously early riser it doesn’t really make much difference!

I’m intrigued by the waking up to reset the body clock thing. But I’d be worried it would back fire and she’d end up waking up for the day at 4am or something.

When my baby was 6 months old I met a woman who told me she had to get up at 5am because her 2 year old did. Sod that I thought - she must be mad.

Come my dc's 2nd birthday, pretty much, she started waking up at 4 or 5am. Nothing would persuade her to go back to sleep.

All in all - it's a phase that many 2 year olds go through.

It stopped when she started pre-school/nursery at around age 3. No nap. Tired out mentally and physically.

She has never needed much sleep. She got into the habit of going to bed around 9pm, getting to sleep around 10pm, then getting up at 7am thereafter.

Ugh. DS2 woke up at 4.40 this morning. 😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕

Mine are 8 and 5, they both wake before 6am. The good news is they learn to look after themselves and we now have a rule they are not allowed to come into our room until after 7am.
Unfortunately our body clocks are well and truly set at 6am

DS1 was the same. I remember one holiday when he was 18 months when one morning I stayed in bed with him as long as I could, then got up with him, played with him for quite a long time, gave him breakfast, took him to the park, went for a walk along the sea wall, got into the town and looked for a coffee shop to have my breakfast - and nothing was open because it was still only 8am.

I don't have any strategies for you because we just lived with it to a certain extent. Our only strategy was that DH and I took it in turns to get up with him so the other one got a "lie in". But if it helps - he is now ten, and still a very early riser - I hear him get up at 5.30 sometimes. However he also goes to bed early (seven for lights out at eight) which means I do get an evening. And when he gets up he now reads, or plays quietly (no screens allowed) and I think he cherishes that time he gets alone. From the age of about four he was able to get up by himself and play (Lego was the saviour) for an increasing amount of time. So having an early riser doesn't mean hideousness for the rest of your life.

Apart from camping. Don't go camping with hideous early risers.

My 10 year old was up at 4.45am as usual today.
He has always been up early. From about age 3 he had a gate on the door to his room and he played alone until 5.30am I then very gradually lengthened the time until I got up to be with him. I now don't get up until 7 and later at weekends as he is allowed to go down and watch a bit of tv then.
I feel your pain.

One of mine did this and it nearly killed me but it does eventually end. I used to laugh at the friends who told me that when DS became a teenager I would have to drag him from the bed - but sure enough I do.

I was able to engineer some improvement (to 6/6.15am) with TOTAL darkness in DS's room, which meant an arrangement of multiple ugly blinds, bits of cardboard & black out curtains not just over the window but also the door to his room. I also found white noise helped, so had a small fan running, which kept up a constant hum throughout the night.

Mine sleep longer with the heating on

Sometimes it doesn't end Margo. DS1's 27 and still wakes at 5, which is pretty pointless as he's too ill to work.

Sorry to hear that Evil.

OP - did I see you’re letting him fall asleep again at 9:30am?

That’s your problem. He’s using that to make up the rest of his night time sleep.

You have got to push that back by 15mins each day until he’s napping around 12 noon or you’re on a hiding to nothing. Forget about waking him up at 4am and changing his nappy - I bet you that will just wake him up for the day even earlier.

Push that nap to lunch time and he should start sleeping a bit later within a few weeks. Only then will something like a GroClock work.

Thanks Margo, he just got dealt all the shit cards in life.

Did you try the milk thing? Our house is 22 degrees all year round, do you pop the heating on?

@ElphabaTheGreen - I don't 'let' him as such but unless we stay at home indefinitely he will fall asleep in car or pram on way to an activity or nursery. I make him walk to school drop off so as to avoid this. I've actually stayed in for almost a week ensuring a nap at 11-12 (he usually fell asleep in his lunch closer to the 11 mark) but it made no difference before I got cabin fever and needed to start going out again. Probably half the week I am managing the 1 nap around midday.

Up at 5am today in spite of 8.30pm bedtime. Warm in his room & he felt warm. He's not hungry or thirsty as not bothered about the food & drink I've just given him. In fact, he threw his breakfast on the floor in a rage as there were no bananas left to go with his porridge & kiwi. Lovely! Nappy a bit heavy I guess.

DH still not got back to me about which days he's going to do the early wakings this week so I guess that's not going to happen.

Anyone else up and furious?! Made the mistake of staying up and catching up on xfactor. Any time I actually allow myself an evening I regret it the next morning

He is now sat on the sofa yawning

Sorry you're having such a shit time upsidedown. DS1 was born at 5.30am and has never really woken much later than that since. He's now 6 he still doesn't quite understand that I'd rather punch myself in the head than be up at that hour though.

Actually.... I took him and DS2 bouncing for an hour yesterday (at 4pm) and they are miraculously still asleep. Maybe I've discovered something?!

Your DH sounds very unhelpful

Why are you doing all of the mornings? Are you SAHM & DH a WOHD? If that is the set up, then I still think your DH could manage one morning a week & on the others you could do the early shift & then go back to bed for an hour. I would suggest you just prod your DH tomorrow and, when your DC is pestering you, tell him to pester Daddy instead.
For years, we got up at 5.30. Anything before that, and they either came into our bed to lie quietly, looked at books in their room or played with quiet toys (jigsaws, train set etc). We were not in the room with them. It took several weeks to persuade them that that was what they had to do but it worked. Then, at 5.30, one of us would take them downstairs & put on a Peppa DVD and then doze on the sofa for an hour. I needed to be up at 6.30 anyway to get ready for work.
We gradually pushed back the 5.30 & now (7 & 5) rarely see DC2 before 6.10am & DC1 always go through to 6.30.

Only thing that really worked for me was him dropping his nap completely. Now he sleeps for 12 hours or sometimes even longer at night. But that leads to a very tired toddler during the afternoon.