6month old CC advise

[robyneHet]

Please help!
6month old DD2 is EBF. Always fed to sleep and would sleep 3-6 hourly until 4month sleep regression and it's all fallen apart!
So for 2 months now I have fed DD back to sleep hourly, all night long and I am feeling so sleep deprived and low in mood 😞
It has all come to ahead today when out of chronic exhaustion I reversed into the drive and ran over DS1 balance bike 🙈 resulting in irate husband and obviously upset toddler! Me sobbing and baby crying in the car
After lengthy discussions over the last few weeks DH and I (who is very supportive btw but obviously can't breast feed baby!) have decided enough is enough and we need to sleep train. So CC we thought would be suitable? DD takes a dummy and surprisingly she settled at bedtime in her own cot without much fuss!! Couldn't believe it...however...she has since woke hourly and the CC does not seem to be working? We are going in and replacing dummy, shushing/patting and offering reassurance every 5mins ...she goes back to sleep (after about 10mins) but then still wakes 10mins later and we have to repeat the whole process??
Is this to be expected 1st night? I think I assumed there would be a lot of crying at the initial settling stage but did not expect the 10min wakeups all evening. My plan is to feed 3hourly through the night (same as day) and DH settle with dummy at all other wakes.
Opinions/advise very welcome pls x

I've not used CC on a baby younger than 9m, but as long as you're not expecting her to sleep through and will still be feeding her at intervals suitable to you, I can't see the harm. Please don't leave her to cry, though, because she is very little. It might be kinder for your husband to do shush pat to comfort her. Also, you might be setting yourself up for more issues by replacing boob with dummy, as she'll need it popped back in until she's old enough to find it herself. Good luck!

(Disclaimer: I'm pro-CC but not sure young babies have the understanding for it to work as well as with slightly older babies. I know they say 6m minimum age, but don't forget just how young that is).

I did CC but at a later age. I agree with pp. could you get your DH to settle her in the room and stay till she's asleep rather than leaving her to cry for 5mins. That way she is learning to sleep without being fed and you could try leaving g her in a few months.

I think it's a big leap to go from feeding to sleep to controlled crying all in one go, without trying other methods first. Have you tried your DH doing shush-pat, or pick-up/put-down?

If you will sleep-train your baby, do it now, don't wait. Soon he will start teething and you won't be able to do it then.

Stop night feeds. Your supportive DH goes to DS when he wakes and puts him back to sleep however he can. First night will be quite horrible for all but baby will feed more in the daytime to compensate and will soon adjust his metabolism to not expect feeds through the night.

A normal 6-month-old has no physical need to feed through the night. There is no need whatsoever to wait for sleep-training. The longer you wait, the harder it will get. And you really want them to master sleeping through the night without a feed before they start teething.

I used CC with DD1 at about 6 months. Same as you- hourly feeding and I was a walking zombie.

It is very hard but so worth it. My experience was:
-First night 3 and a half hours.
-Second night 20 minutes
-Third night- cracked it.

I did something similar with DD2 at around 9 months. Similar results.

I know a lot of people on MN do not like it and you will hear opinions/ research about it being child abuse but I have two grown up very well rounded DDs who don't seem to have suffered any long term effects.

Cote I would agree once weaning is established, but I do think 6m is a bit young to be expected to sleep through. OP's DD might not have even started on solid food yet.

Babies need to feed at night and its important for maintaining a healthy milk supply. If you stop feeding at night, you may find your baby refuses the breast and you are not able to maintain breastfeeding long term.

I wouldn't do cc at this age, it's too early for your baby. I would however, look at safe co sleeping (assuming you are consuming tobacco, vaping, drugs/medication or alcohol).p

Not consuming that is !!!!!!

" I do think 6m is a bit young to be expected to sleep through."

Do you have ANY evidence WHATSOEVER to support that conviction?

"If you stop feeding at night, you may find your baby refuses the breast"

Yeah right. It will be snowing in hell when a baby who hasn't seen the breast all night will refuse it in the morning.

Nope just my opinion and (obviously) limited experience.

I disagree that every 6 month old can go through the night without a feed. The ISIS sleep project from Durham Uni has some useful info about typical sleep patterns e.g. https://www.isisonline.org.uk/hcp/howbabiesssleep/normalsleeppdevelopment/sleepandd_feeding/

I think it's reasonable to try other methods to settle the baby if it's been less than a certain amount of time since they had a feed (whatever you're comfortable with, so 4 hours, 5 hours or similar). Probably easiest if your DH does this to begin with as he won't have the association with feeding.

I would wait a bit. No evidence of harm from 7 months (though any evidence of harm is frankly not supported)
I always picked up and cuddled, and didn't go longer than 5 minutes. DS quickly self settled (had a little bedtime teddy that helps a lot!) He now at 15 months will go and stand by his cot at bedtime!

I've already said I'm not anti CC - it works brilliantly. No need to get your knickers in a twist.

We are in France, where each baby is followed by her own paediatrician. DD's paediatrician told us when she was 4 months old that this was the best time to sleep-train - there was no biological need to feed through the night at her age, and that it was habit waking her up every night at around 1-2 AM and 4-5 AM.

It was the single best advice I have ever had in my life, about anything. 1st night was awful, 2nd night was better, and she slept through on the 3rd night and every night since, except when sick or otherwise hurting.

"I disagree that every [normal] 6 month old can go through the night without a feed. "

Really? In which university have you done your medical studies?

I would like to compare your claim to authority with that of DC's paediatrician.

"No evidence of harm from 7 months"

Where is the evidence of harm at 6.months? Or 6 months?

And define "harm", please. I'm just curious because both DC who have been sleep-trained at 4-5 months are happy, healthy, high-achieving, confident, loving, and with no emotional issues.

Did you see the link about the ISIS sleep project from Durham University? Perhaps they know a little about typical baby sleep and night wakings.

Maybe they do. That page was about type of milk fed to babies and their sleep patterns, though.

We all know that babies wake up multiple times in the night. We also know that many of them take their sweet time getting out of that habit, some taking years.

The point here is that it is possible to change that pattern - stop night feeds, they increase their milk intake in the day, and they stop waking up in the night for it. Baby sleeps well, parents are rested, everyone is happy.

With respect, your DC's paediatrician is one professional, and doesn't speak for every professional. Otherwise, sleep training at 4m would be the advice given to every parent the world over. Just because others have different opinions doesn't mean they are wrong.

No, sleep training would never be given as an advice to every parent. Because not every parent wants to do it and it would be wrong to meddle in how families live and parent.

However, the question "Does a normal 6-month-old physically need to feed through the night?" has a right answer. And I would rather take that answer from someone who has been to medical school, specialised in children, and then practiced for +20 years. Not from someone who did none of the above but read a few websites and had a few kids of her own (like I did, too).

CoteDAzur breastfeeding is about far, far more than just milk.

Dropping night breastfeeds are not usually about denying calories. It's about denying comfort.

You seem to be missing the point. I sense a large dose of projection from your direction.

robyneHet, what are your DDs fine motor skills like? The ability to put her own dummy in (which is how she's likely to be able to independantly sooth) develops around 8-10 months old. Some practice you could do in the mean-time, so she can learn to independantly do it:

• place dumny dummy in her hand, let her out it in her mouth
• place dummy on the floor, within reach. Then she has to pick it up and put it in
• place dummy in her hand the wrong way around (ie the teat facing downwards), so she has to turn it around before putting it in
• place dummy the wrong way around on floor, in sight, but away from her hands.
• place dummy the wrong way around and out of reach, but in view
• place dummy behind baby, say near her feet while she is lying on the floor, so she has to spin her body around it get it
• place dummy out of view, see if she can find it

These are all necessary fine motor skills needed before baby can access the self-comforting of using her dummy.

"Does a normal 6-month-old physically need to feed through the night?" A breastfed 6 month old might need to feed once or twice throughout the night. Some might sleep through. It is absurd to suggest that all 6 month old babies must be exactly the same, and conform with the advice given by one single french paediatrician however many years ago, to one specific mother and baby.