6month old CC advise

[robyneHet]

Please help!
6month old DD2 is EBF. Always fed to sleep and would sleep 3-6 hourly until 4month sleep regression and it's all fallen apart!
So for 2 months now I have fed DD back to sleep hourly, all night long and I am feeling so sleep deprived and low in mood 😞
It has all come to ahead today when out of chronic exhaustion I reversed into the drive and ran over DS1 balance bike 🙈 resulting in irate husband and obviously upset toddler! Me sobbing and baby crying in the car
After lengthy discussions over the last few weeks DH and I (who is very supportive btw but obviously can't breast feed baby!) have decided enough is enough and we need to sleep train. So CC we thought would be suitable? DD takes a dummy and surprisingly she settled at bedtime in her own cot without much fuss!! Couldn't believe it...however...she has since woke hourly and the CC does not seem to be working? We are going in and replacing dummy, shushing/patting and offering reassurance every 5mins ...she goes back to sleep (after about 10mins) but then still wakes 10mins later and we have to repeat the whole process??
Is this to be expected 1st night? I think I assumed there would be a lot of crying at the initial settling stage but did not expect the 10min wakeups all evening. My plan is to feed 3hourly through the night (same as day) and DH settle with dummy at all other wakes.
Opinions/advise very welcome pls x

"CoteDAzur breastfeeding is about far, far more than just milk. Dropping night breastfeeds are not usually about denying calories. It's about denying comfort."

Oh is it time for the world's smallest violin?

Sticking baby to breast is not the only way baby gets comfort. Fathers can also comfort.

And anyway, what great and immeasurable grief do you think baby is battling with that he needs comforting in the night? It's all about milk and parent's presence. During sleep-training there is no milk in the night but parent is there.

Besides, it's just for 2-3 nights. You will see that baby doesn't really need "comfort" in the night as much as you think, once they learn to sleep through.

"I sense a large dose of projection from your direction."

Interesting. Do you sense the Force, too?

Please explain what sort of adult thoughts and feelings you believe I am projecting on to babies.

Assassinated - Nobody said all babies are the same. We all know that some drop night feeds at a few months and sleep through and some scream the house down for the bottle until they are 2 or 3.

The question is whether night feeds are a physical need or a a habit beyond the first couple of months. That is, will something bad will happen to a normal healthy baby physically (start losing weight, get malnourished, die?) if they don't have milk in the night.

Christ, I bet OP wishes she never asked.

Yep. Sorry OP.

We all know that babies wake up multiple times in the night. We also know that many of them take their sweet time getting out of that habit, some taking years.

Habit? It's an evolutionary trait that keeps them alive!!!!!

Sticking baby to breast is not the only way baby gets comfort

It's the way this baby is comforted. There are lots of other ways babies are comforted:

• sucking a dummy
• thumb sucking
• snuggling a comforter
• movement (rocking, bouncing, swaying)
• rhythmic self-movement (rocking back and forth, for example)
• parental physical closeness (cosleeping, cuddling in arms)
• parental physical contact (patting, stoking, tickling)

During sleep-training there is no milk in the night but parent is there.

During controlled crying, the parent leaves. Isn't there.

Please explain what sort of adult thoughts and feelings you believe I am projecting on to babies.

Your projection is parenting thoughts you are projecting on other parents, not the baby.

I can see that your feelings regarding leaving your own baby to scream would lead you to want to vehemently persuade others it's an ok thing to do. It would make you feel much better about your own decisions to do this.

I know you'll deny that though. It takes much self-reflection and IME some experience of seeing a baby learn independant settling without any upset (easily and from a young age) to realise there are better ways.

You are far too defensive to have reached that level of self reflection though.

Cote Just at your posts.

Would I trust a paed in France on this topic - not a chance!!

cote oxyticin and prolactin hormones are raised during the night feeds, to avoid these feeds reduces the general flow of milk and over time a baby may become fussy and may start rejecting the breast. As a result a mother that stops these feeds, may find her ability to continue breastfeeding long term impaired. If a baby is not waking for these feeds, clearly these babies don't need the comfort and nutrition however the original posters baby is waking and needing this. The op may still wish to do the cc, that is her decision but at least she is aware of the possible impact to her milk supply and she is making an informed decision.

For research, I believe these guys know their stuff : www.laleche.org.uk/reasons-night-waking-biological-norm/

It's abuse.

"Habit? It's an evolutionary trait that keeps them alive!!!!!"

Yes, no doubt waking up multiple times in the night and screaming until they get the boob kept babies alive back when pre-humans lived on trees and wild animals prowled around them.

It's not at all necessary in this day and age. It's not keeping them alive.

And yes, it is a habit. They are used to feeding at those times, so they wake up hungry at those times. The solution is to stop the night feeds, comfort baby some other way when he wakes up for a feed. Metabolism quickly adjusts, baby gets used to new feeding times, and starts to sleep through.

And surprise! Baby remains alive

No, nutty, it's not abuse. What you posted is pathetic and well.. nutty.

OP if you want advice, I suggest starting a new thread, or even PMing those on this thread who've been supportive. Hope you had a better night last night and things improve for you soon

You think it's a habit, other people disagree. Perhaps instead of a baby that adjusts, they have a baby that is miserable and hungry.

It's not at all necessary in this day and age. It's not keeping them alive.

Sadly biology hasn't evolved as quickly as society. (If you can call ignoring the needs of tiny babies in the interests of parents societal evolution.). So they still do it. Punishing them for it because it's inconvenient to you is pretty selfish unreasonable.

Would you be happy to switch to formula? Get the calories in throughout the day so baby is less likely to wake up at night. Breastmilk is full of good stuff but I personally think that switching to formula is kinder than CC.

Research has shown that formula doesn't prevent night wakings and baby biology doesn't care about calories over the day - it wants them spread across 24 hours.

I have heard about the reasearch, but I know a lot of parents with babies and only the breastfed ones wake hourly. I think BF is great but the OP has done it exclusively for six months and needs a rest. Even if it doesn't change wake ups at least her DH can help out. I couldn't bring myself to do CC, I'd try anything else first.

Her DH could also feed baby expressed milk if that were something the OP wanted.

Both extremes on one thread. We've had the leave-baby-to-scream, now for the equally as unhelpful breastapo

This has turned into the single most unhelpful thread I have read on the Mumsnet Sleep boards.

It's like unhelpful bingo.

Both extremes on one thread. We've had the leave-baby-to-scream, now for the equally as unhelpful breastapo

Brestapo?! For pointing out that formula isn't the only option?! Okaaaaaaaaaay.....

And now sunk to new depths with the use of the delightful phrase "breastapo"...

Op obviously it is up to you whether you continue with the Cc, I assume by now you will have had had some success, or not, as most people that do it seem to crack it in three nights, or the babies are still screaming after ten days (from what I've read on here......) I don't think it's recommended under 12 months though and 6 months seems awfully small to leave to cry. If you have decided against cc, I can highly recommend gradual withdrawal once she's a bit older. The hourly wake ups aren't necessary for feeds but imo some wake ups are. Have you tried cuddling back to sleep and feeding every three hours instead? Good luck and hope you weren't completely put off posting!