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Original poster

Night time 'bad habits' ... the independent baby sleep - support thread for anyone trying to break baby sleep habits

275 replies

Millipede170 · 07/03/2017 15:43

This thread is for anyone who routinely 'helps' their LO to get back to sleep when they wake in the night, would like them to start being more independent, but doesn't relish the thought of CC or CIO. Or maybe you've been there and are out the other side and can share your journey/pearls of wisdom (you could be my new hero). What methods have you tried or come up with? Please share ...

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Tabitha1983 · 16/03/2017 15:38

Hi all...sorry I've not been joining in...just managed to catch up with everyone!...think?! Sounds like coughs/colds and naff all sleep are the general theme 😕 These babies should come with a disclaimer...please note once you hit four months this baby will not sleep and pick up every ailment going...they are non returnable 😂
It's fun fun fun here...DD1 (3) has had scarlet fever! Coupled with a 5month old baby who is up to breast feed every 1-2 hours I'm on my knees 😣
...glad to read that the feeding to sleep can be solved at some point in the future...I just feel at the minute it's so hard to 'sleep train' when he will obviously still need to feed overnight (granted not hourly!) but probably once or twice I guess? I'll be back to work when baby is 9months (shifts) so I hope to wean him before then or it feels a bit cruel for him to be so dependent on my and then all of a sudden I'm not there! X

LotisBlue · 16/03/2017 15:42

Sounds like everyone had a bad night then? Ds was awful in the evening, kept waking up and crying and wouldn't settle. This morning I discovered two Shock brand new teeth poking out. He also took his first steps yesterday. It's a miracle he slept at all, tbh.

I do think most of their sleep is random. We like to tell ourselves that there's a pattern because it gives us a vague sense of control.

Original poster
Millipede170 · 16/03/2017 21:00

I always think if I could just work out what causes all the night wakings, I could 'fix' it. Get the nap pattern right, nail bedtime routine, night wean or whatever. Like all the books tell you (do x and your baby will do y). Sadly, it appears to be BS and I've just spent the last 10 months obsessing about it and beating myself up! Winner!!!

Good luck tonight folks xx

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SleepymrsE · 16/03/2017 21:07

I've come to figure out everything to do with parenting is guesswork milli. What works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. I gave up reading any books this time (although I must admit to dr Google in the early hours when desperate).

DD & DS finally asleep so I'm heading to bed now to try & get some sleep in early. Fingers crossed for good nights all round.

Original poster
Millipede170 · 17/03/2017 09:40

Hope you all had a good night.
Shocker here - the cough is getting worse not better. Not sure whether to take to the doctor, would they even do anything? Prob not. Anyway hours of hacking and crying here. Poor little sod (and poor Mummy if I'm being honest!)

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RubySlippers77 · 17/03/2017 10:26

We didn't have a bad night till OH woke everyone up at 5am going to work... the man is incapable of getting ready quietly!! But thank goodness both mine are now asleep and I can sit quietly with a coffee - they wouldn't nap at the same time yesterday Sad

Our internet is on the blink too but hopefully fixed later so I can catch up properly - sleep deprived people need broadband they can rely on!!

Original poster
Millipede170 · 17/03/2017 11:18

Urgh ruby my DH gets up a 5am for half his shifts, and gets home at 2am for the other half. It's a killer. He never gets out without waking the baby, and he really does try to be quiet...

Playing with fire here. After a rough night DS is still asleep 2hrs into his morning nap. I'll go and wake him shortly because we've got things to do, but I'm never sure whether to wake him from naps or not. Hmm

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scottishbride · 17/03/2017 12:54

Aaah Milli, that cough is being a bit stubborn!
Well done on the double napping Ruby, that is the holy grail of parenting 2 children!
I thought we were going to have a good night again last night, ds woke for the first time at 1, fed, then slept till 5.30, I fed him again and went to bed feeling smug that I can handle 2 wake ups a night - so much better than every 2 hours!! - but then he woke up again at 6, grrrrr!!

And talking of naps Milli, ds has fallen asleep in the car on our way home for lunch, so he's only had breakfast so far!! And this 2nd nap is a bit early really....... but as others have said, it might make no difference at all because I actually have no control over his sleep. I agree with whoever says we look for patterns to try to feel in control

LotisBlue · 17/03/2017 19:53

Urgh I think I would murder dp if he woke the baby up in the morning. Dd quite often does it by bouncing on the bed but she has the excuse of being 4.

We had a surprisingly good night and ds spent a lot of time in the cot, I had to go and check he was alive.

snoopyokay · 17/03/2017 20:36

We only had one wake up last night but then up for the day at 5:30!

haha Lotis I do that too when DD has a good night end up checking to see if she is okay so I'm still awake too!

Original poster
Millipede170 · 17/03/2017 21:10

Welcome back Tabitha - sorry just getting round to saying that. How goes the war against the scarlet fever?

Re weaning off the boob, I am back to work in just over 4 weeks. Having just stopped the night feeds I thought it was a bit tough to back off the day feeds too in preparation, but maybe I should start getting DS used to it too. A friend from ante natal says that her DD just doesn't expect milk during the day when she's at nursery, is happy with a snack (yoghurt usually) and a drink, but still breastfeeds in the morning and evening. Am I being naive to think mine might manage that too??

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LotisBlue · 17/03/2017 21:51

Milli neither of mine were interested in milk at nursery. Ds used to have a feed as soon as I got home but now he usually waits till bedtime. I had to express at work to start with though.

birchwoods · 17/03/2017 22:24

Hi, anyone else with a toddler still waking! 19 months and still night waking and the only thing that will do is boobSad

SleepymrsE · 18/03/2017 01:29

My sleep thief is very much stealing my sleep tonight. Awake since 11.30. Not sure if it's teeth or what but I've just taken us both into the spare room. I can't do another night cramped up in bed with her & DH. Probably a big downward spiral to finding myself & DH sleeping in separate beds from now on.

LotisBlue · 18/03/2017 08:21

Yep ds was up twice before I even went to bed.

You need a king-size bed, MrsE!

SleepymrsE · 18/03/2017 08:53

We already have a king size bed lotis but I still always give DD more room than myself so I end up really uncomfy. I can cope for a couple of hours but from 1.30 it was a step too far. Luckily after feeding DD she settled ok and we both managed a few hours sleep.

Hope everyone else fared a little better last night.

Good luck with the move this weekend milli.

Original poster
Millipede170 · 18/03/2017 09:32

Thanks MrsE. FWIW I can't get comfortable in the bed with both DS and DH either. There's no bed in the new nursery either so the early morning cuddly feeds in his room are coming to an end 😪

Have a good wknd everybody.

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LotisBlue · 18/03/2017 10:06

Oh, we can sleep comfortably with three in a king-size bed, it's when Dc1 tries to squeeze in as well that I wish we'd got a super king Grin

Original poster
Millipede170 · 18/03/2017 20:00

birchwoods we've got all ages here, some with older DCs too. Welcome. Do you want to tell us a bit more about your LO (e.g. Where he/she sleeps, whether you feed to sleep, nap timings, what you've tried up til now etc) and someone might have a bright idea?

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LotisBlue · 18/03/2017 20:11

Birchwoods ds is 16 months so not far behind you

scottishbride · 18/03/2017 21:00

Hi all!

Need some positive stories on this thread! But I know everyone is too tired.... We had teething here last night so a screamy wake up, settled with brufen but then boob wake ups too - I'm not sure I'm ever going to break these!

Milli how's it going? Are you moving far? Hope it all goes smoothly.

Hope you have a better night MrsE, or are you Sleepy today?! I remember my excitement when I woke up in bed with my DH for the first time in ages when ds was asleep in his cot when DH's alarm went off even though I had spent half the night "asleep" on the floor in the nursery

Ruby - if dh woke ds while I was still in bed there would be trouble!! (I think it helps that we have white noise in ds's room to try to stop this)

Fingers crossed for a sleep-filled Saturday night! DH is settling watching ds crawl around his cot ds for his first wake up (!) time for some Wine

Original poster
Millipede170 · 19/03/2017 09:10

Hi scottish

I think if it was possible I'd rename this thread 'horrendous sleepers but too knackered to break bad habits'! Or something. It is hard to make changes when you're exhausted.

But, stopping automatically picking my DS up out of his cot and feeding him in the night, coupled with him learning to crawl and burning more energy, has definitely made an improvement here. Now we are down to 2 wakeups usually (1-ish and 3.30-ish) and an early start (which is a bit of a blow - anything after about 5.45 is a lie-in 😴). I'm feeding at the 3.30 wakeup as he does want milk and still feeds well in the morning. I'm hoping when this wretched cold/cough finally goes we might even lose that 1am wake, but then something else will prob crop up, like another tooth!!

We're moving back into our house actually. It's had an extension while I've been on mat leave. Just put bub down for his nap so I can carry on packing and then get away. Bet you any money now he refuses to nap!!!

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SleepymrsE · 20/03/2017 07:52

Mornings everyone.

Hope your DS napped & that the move went well milli.

I'm really hoping you all had better nights than the one we had in our house last night. I saw 12, 1, 2 & 4 from littlest one. Managed to get her to sleep in bed with me at 4.15 and the biggest one woke crying after a big coughing fit. He came through to our bed so I moved DD into her cot. DS couldn't stop coughing but started to settle at about 5.30, which is when DD woke for a feed. She'd also leaked through her nappy. That disturbed DS who fell asleep at 6.15 just as the alarm went off! Argh.

snoopyokay · 20/03/2017 14:37

Sounds like you had a tough night Sleepy must be so much harder with 2!

We did okay ish last night, couple of wake ups but didn't look at the time until 5 when she came into our bed. Then after some protesting/scratching my back she fell back to sleep until 7am Grin. Although I was on the train to work by that point so didn't benefit me!

RubySlippers77 · 20/03/2017 23:28

How did the move go Milli? I hate packing and unpacking!!

MrsE, no wonder you are so sleepy Sad I feel your pain, with two it often feels like if it's not one, it's the other..... sometimes one of mine is fast asleep at 7am but the other one is bouncing around and denying me a lie in..... aaarrggghhh!

Mine are still up twice a night and having on average 10oz of milk each, which seems like a lot?! But they have plenty of food and milk during the day and don't go to bed hungry, I can only think it's because they're big for their age, as my health visitor suggested. DS2 hurt himself on Saturday - fell over at soft play, of all things! - had a big egg-sized bump and a cut on his forehead, I sobbed and told myself to count my blessings. I tried to remember that as they squabbled all day today and then I scraped dried custard off the kitchen floor once they'd gone to bed.....