Night time 'bad habits' ... the independent baby sleep - support thread for anyone trying to break baby sleep habits

[Millipede170]

This thread is for anyone who routinely 'helps' their LO to get back to sleep when they wake in the night, would like them to start being more independent, but doesn't relish the thought of CC or CIO. Or maybe you've been there and are out the other side and can share your journey/pearls of wisdom (you could be my new hero). What methods have you tried or come up with? Please share ...

Ha scottish I think everyone feels like that sometimes! Do whatever I don't do and you might be onto something. I've read every book, blog and study on baby sleep, I swear, and I can't get mine to f'ing well get with the programme.

Here's to a good night, mamas x

Naps are OK, he has one or two a day. On one nap days he's normally pretty grumpy by bedtime. He'll nap in a buggy, car seat or sling, and for dp he'll nap in a bouncy chair. At nursery he naps in a cot

Naps are OK, it's night time sleep which is a mess

Evening all. Both kids down & asleep so I'm heading to bed soon to try & get at least a couple of solid hours in! Regarding naps, DD tends to have a short one (about 30 mins) at about 9am which she has in her cot, a longer one about 12ish if she's laid on me (shorter if she's put down), and occasionally another short snooze about 4ish. DS was a rubbish napper until he got into the routine at nursery when he started having a solid 1.5 - 2 hour nap after lunch. We're only just starting to drop that nap now at 32 months.

Interesting what everyone's saying about naps - I know some people who say a nap routine made all the difference with the night time sleeping, others who said it made no difference! All I know is, DS2 is generally the better napper and generally the better sleeper - DS1 finds it hard to get to sleep both times - but tonight DS1 was ready to nod off whilst DS2 woke him up by refusing to go to sleep, bouncing around etc. Grrrrr! OH has taken over upstairs saying that (apparently) they behave better without me there - I can hear them howling now….. I reckon they just get bored of his company and give up

Did anyone read the sleep debate on the Cbeebies Facebook page? Some very smug people saying 'all you need is a routine and everything else will follow' and some saying 'it works for some of our kids but not all'!

Oh and neither of mine will nap in their cot during the day - not that I've tried very hard really - it's easier to pop them in the buggy or car and go, at least that way I (sometimes) get them both off together…..

Yes it is interesting. We sometimes have (what I would think are) great napping days and yet the night will be rubbish. Or crap naps followed by a surprisingly good night. There doesn't seem to be much rhyme or reason here. And my DS is amazing about settling in his cot day or night - he just can't stay down! They are funny little buggers.

Ummm .... anyone got any bright ideas about how to get a baby to nap when he's just learned to crawl? It's too exciting, he just won't lie down 🤔

Sorry Milli, this is happening to me every night and every wake up! I just put him in the pram and walk his naps- except now when I'm sat on the car on my driveway waiting for him to wake up- just been to lunch with a friend and he fell asleep on the way home!

From what I've read they just want to practise their new skill then go back to normal, we're on 6 nights and counting!! Although slightly quicker going to sleep last night so everything crossed for later - if he doesn't nap hopefully he'll be too tired to do it tonight

Not a lot to be done I guess! In fact I went up and laid him back down, he wailed for about 10 minutes and then went to sleep. For 20 minutes. Then the f*cking cough woke him up again. I feel like I'm going mad. I'm livid .... with a cough 😒

Wow ... baby learns to crawl, baby sleeps through til 5.30 ....

Wow Milli, similar here! He took a while to go down at 7, then woke at 11 and wouldn't settle for dh. I reluctantly went to feed him, ended up feeding him to sleep, went to bed feeling like a complete failure for (a) feeding before midnight; and (b) feeding to sleep
BUT, he slept till 6.30!! This has never happened and I've not even decided how or when to sleep train. I think the difference for me last night was food, I couldn't seem to fill him up yesterday whereas normally he just picks at stuff.
Some positivity for this thread, although I'm well aware he won't do it again!

Glad you both had a better night! Maybe crawling has worn him out Milli

We had one of the worst nights to date, up every hour crying and whinging and has now developed a cold. 2 lots of Nurofen and extra feed at 12am didn't seem to make a difference. Hope this phase passes soon as feel like I'm going backwards with her!

You must be really pleased Milli and scottish!! Any time after 6 feels like a lie in to me these days...!

snoopy, sorry you had a rubbish night. If your DD is suffering with a cold, have you tried the Calpol plug in things? Annoyingly the refills are almost as dear as buying a whole new set but they did help my boys, better than Snufflebabe/ Olbas oil (which of course are cheaper!). I plugged it in and closed the bedroom door for an hour or so before bedtime so it was potent enough to reach their blocked noses!

DS1 had a good night last night - frustratingly DS2 didn't, full of sniffles - he is a snot fountain today

I think that DS1 is lacking mental stimulation tbh, he loves books but his brother doesn't have the patience for them! Going to look for some more baby/ toddler groups to attend to keep him interested...

That's great milli & scottish, hope it's the first of many good nights!

snoopy, ruby, sorry it wasn't as good for you. Hope the colds pass soon. The last one DD had made her projectile vomit all her milk up during the nights as she'd have big coughing fits (so I also feel your pain milli).

I had a full nights sleep thanks to my parents having the baby for the night. It was bliss. Typically she slept well for them: 7.30-1am, bottle, straight back to sleep & then slept til 6am. Bet she doesn't do that tonight!

Oh wow MrsE you must feel amazing today!

Ruby we have the Calpol vapour thing, will get it out tonight most definitely.

Surpisingly feel okay today, must be so used to no sleep by now!

Hello everyone, sorry not been back for a while, had a busy week and then Ill! Such fun being ill with small children!

scottish and milli glad you had an improved night. Hello to other new people!

Just to comment on some ppls concerns on feeding to sleep - my ds was fed to sleep every day for 10.5 months (ebf) then we sleep trained him and he just didn't need feeding to sleep after that. I could then feed him and dh could settle him to sleep.
We just found we needed to wait until he didn't need milk during the night, then we could remove the milk/sleep association.

I currently feed 7mo Dd to sleep and will until I sleep train her. Especially with little babies if they like the comfort then I say give it to them! (Although I know that also means potential night time disaster! )

Basically I'm just saying you can fix it and just cos you have started feeding to sleep doesn't mean you always have to!

Ds is 2.9 now and sleeps beautifully, including self settling, he was a disaster as a baby would not nap unless in pram, comfort feeder, horrid 4m regression etc etc. But it is fixable!

Dd has been up and down, naps have gone wrong she won't go in cot at Mo, seems to prefer the car.
Nights have been reasonable, had a good couple of days where she did 4/5 hours which was brill. But then waking at 5.30 for the day. Argh!
Last night back to 2.5 hrs but I'm hopeful that she may improve gradually as it's in there somewhere!!

I agree with whoever said there is no pattern. She can have really good day time naps and have a horrid night or sometimes crap naps actually mean a better night sleep.

Also to pp who mentioned a hotel with roll top bath! I'd be happy with a hotel and sleep.
Imagine a full nights sleep...!!

Sounds like everyone is full of cold/cough/snot at the moment.

Totally agree that Calpol plug-in is awesome, but a) yes how the heck can they justify the price tag on the refills?? and b) they don't last all night IME so you have to replace early hours and c) why oh why did they put a livid blue nightlight on it?! Everyone knows that blue light is totally stimulating. And it's bright as the sun.

Rant over. I have made DS crawl all day to try and tucker him out again. He went out like a light just now so fingers crossed. Sending sleepy vibes to all the babies xx

And welcome back Chipmunk. Thanks for what you said about reversing the feeding-to-sleep and it being totally ok. I think you're abs right, you can change any ritual without too much drama when the baby is ready. I think the panic sets in because you just don't know how long it's going to take. DH is a particular one for "you might still be doing this when he's 3" 😕 and there's no answer to that really, except "yes, maybe". If only we all had a crystal ball and knew how long we were in it for!!

milli I think the calpol plugs ins are great too. Just bought a new one today so I have one each for the inevitable time they both need it!
Also agree with the refil price! Ridiculous!

I don't find I need more than one per night tho but I only switch it on about 10 mins before bed.

I have covered the stupid night light bit with a bit of paper and a load of brown tape. It still comes out a bit at the top but it's not like a night light now! And in fact the new one I got today looked to have a slightly smaller stupid light window which seems to have covered up more easily. I'll have to try it and see!

Would have been better to be able to switch the light bit off or as you say at least make it a yellowy glow not the awful blue!

Fingers crossed for good night's sleep all round!

Oh, meant to say. I think I'm only surviving with Dd because I know 100% that there is an end point! With the first, ppl tell you there is and you hope there is but until you have done it it's too hard and alien to be confident!

I'm riding out dds awful nights without stressing too much about fixing it yet because I know come 10 ish months I can sort her. And it might need to be after that for her because she is different from ds but I still know there will definitely, absolutely be an end.

Hang in there ladies! We can do it!

IamChipmunk - I must admit I've given up trying to break the feed to sleep thing... having read comments on this thread I'm starting to think that dd is still just hungry in the night and I'm a wuss anyway.

Onward like a zombie!

I totally agree LaP!
And after a rubbish night last night I think the amazing night was due to being totally full and satisfied! It seemed like I couldn't fill him up on the day he slept well cos he just kept eating, but yesterday I tried my hardest to replicate it but he wasn't interested! So several wake ups and 2 night feeds again last night!

Thanks Chipmunk, good to know these habits can be broken!

Did you get 2 good nights in a row Milli?

And MrsE have you got your sleep thief back now?

Ha ha scottish you jest. The night before last was clearly a "look what you could have won" situation. Last night wasn't completely awful - 2 wakeups. But he certainly isn't sleeping through!!

Moving house on Sunday anyway so there is mayhem to follow, not worth worrying too much about it!

Have a good day everyone x

Sound like we're all going to be sleepy today! DD slept 7.30-2.45 (I say slept, I ignored lots of whinges as she disturbed a bit), fed at 2.45 hoping that she'd sleep through til 6. Nope. Cries at 4, 4.30 & 5 when I eventually put her in bed with me. Cried at 6 which woke DS up and that's it for the day. She's had 2 x 30 min snoozes so far today.

Surprisingly I feel less tired today than I did yesterday after my full nights sleep. Not sure what that's all about.

Adrenaline MrsE. I've been on a cocktail of adrenaline, caffeine and despair for the last 10.5 months 😜

Dd was up every 3 hrs last night. Sadly I look on that as quite good!!

Although her first wake up at 9.20 took me about 4 goes to get her back to sleep, don't know what was up with her.

He cough and snot seem a bit better today though.

I like 'onward like a zombie'! Sums up the situation nicely!

Good luck with the house move milli I'm jealous. We want to move and have a new build reserved but they are going to take a million years to build it which is going to cause issues with ds starting school