(Not) surviving on 1hr sleep a night - HELP!

[Beachmum85]

DS is 1wk old and just doesn't sleep at night (unless on my chest). We have tried everything we can think of to get him down (warming the crib/ etc) but he wakes after a few mins demanding more boob (which are now so sore). I've been feeding him pretty much constantly since 4pm yesterday (that's 12hrs!) and I am beyond exhausted. Since he was born I have had one or two hours a night and I'm just broken.

We've tried co-sleeping but it hurts to lie on my side (due to CS) and I'm so worried about DS sleeping on his side.

Please somebody HELP ME!

It gets better. I promise.

My DS was the same. It lasted 2 weeks and then got better.

We took turns to sit up and hold him for the first week. I had to have hour breaks where he didn't feed to stop getting so sore and to get some sleep. It won't hurt him to not feed for an hour while you sleep if he has fed the hour before.

Is your milk definitely in and is he getting enough? Is he actually feeding or just suckling? Have you tried a dummy if he wants to suck all the time?

I was dead against using a dummy but it saved my poor nipples and saved breastfeeding for us. I would have given up if I didn't get the breaks the dummy gave me.

Keep trying the crib. Put him down in it day and night and let him go a little longer each time before you pick him up. We tried all sorts, warming it, swaddling, different mattress. In the end he just got used to it st 2 weeks and goes down no problem now. DS is 6 weeks now and I am still struggling with him waking every 90 mins some nights, but others he will go 2.5 hours so it does get better. You also get more used to no sleep and more able to cope.

If you have a partner on paternity leave st the minute with you make the most of it. Hand baby over for a hour at a time and get some sleep. He won't starve in an hour if you fed him before.

I found I have to get a bit tough with DS and make sure I got those hour breaks to sleep in the first 2 weeks. I am still a bit tough now and he has to sit in his bouncer while me and DH have dinner at night. If he cries I rock it with my foot but he doesn't get picked up until I've finished eating. Takes 20 mins max but it's important for my health and our relationship for us to have a meal at night.

They have a growth spurt around 10 days old, it usually gets better after that.
I can only really advise that you get as much rest as possible (I.e sit on your arse) during the day.
Says me whose been up since 4 wrangling with a 1 yr old that does not want to give up his night feed. No point in going back to bed now my alarm is going off in 15 mins for work anyway! Gaaaah.
You have my sympathies

Sounds like reflux
:-(

Speak to health visitor ASAP or the madness can go on forever!

I too have only slept for about 1 hour for the past 5 days. My twins are 10 months old and I haven't had more than a 3 hour stretch since they were born. They also spend the night latched on one after the other. I am extremely sleep deprived. Sorry not very helpful but I definitely know what you are going through! I'm hoping it will get better eventually for both of us

You poor thing my baby was the same. I swear to you one day it will get better..xx

At 1 wk old they may not sleep much at night, DD2 is now 4 weeks and just in the past week or so getting more awake in day time versus night

She also fed / suckled all night a few times, what I found helped was handing her over to DP who took her into the spare room to co-sleep / on his chest so that even if it was only 30 min I could get a break - it seemed to work, maybe she couldn't smell the milk(?!). I also napped a lot in the day

I find kellymom useful in the early days talking about building supply and cluster feeding

It's pretty normal - read up on the 4th trimester! Baby just wants to be near mum, it's a biological thing.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2012/11/04/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-baby-is-only-happy-in-your-arms/amp/

It is normal. But very tiring to get through. I found a combination of white noise, swaddling and buying a Sleepyhead worked.

Try a swaddle and dummy

Check for a breast feeding problem with a lactation specialist and/or swap to formula - the stuff isn't poison. Cluster feeding (for 2 or 3 hours on and off during early evening) is normal. Spending most of your day with baby to breast non-stop is not.

It is normal, depends on the baby.

Your baby is a week old, for 9 months he's been held, kept at a constant temp and all of a sudden he's in a different place with strange new sensations and the only familiar thing is his mother. Of course he doesn't want to be put down.

It does get better but you need to sleep as well. Is there no one who can take him for a long walk so you can have a nap? Also co sleeping was a life saver for me. I wonder if there was a way to prop yourself up so it doesn't hurt with pillows or something.

It does get easier, not that this will make you feel better right now! - DD was like this for the 1st few weeks - she had colic and very dramatic about it! Found slightly raising the matress so she wasn't sleeping completely flat helped (we stuck a thick book under one end of the matress so it was just tilting her head and chest up a few degrees) also used a snuzpod co-sleeper crib so we still had the closeness but without actually co-sleeping and made it much easier for my to bf during the night. At 6mths we are now in our big girl cot bed across the room and miss her being next to me so much!

The constant wanting to feed could be a trapped air bubble as the act of feeding creates counter pressure and relieves the pain - have you tried baby massage? Particularly pumping her legs worked wonders for DD - it just helped her move the air out - the farts produced were adult sized!

Hang in there - rest is just as important as sleep

Please do the following asap: Get baby checked for reflux. Get latch checked and baby weighed. Having baby attached to your boob for twelve hours is NOT normal. A baby that is not in pain (eg reflux) and well fed does not need to feed for that long, it will feed (which might take an hour or so) but then sleep. In the meantime, give a dummy as this not only satisfies their need to suck, but also helps with reflux.

Agree with scrumptious - that's not normal. DS fed all night on day 1 but that was before my milk had come in.

Is your milk in? Do your boobs get full? Can you see your baby gulping and swallowing? Is he having enough wet and dirty nappies?

I'd contact your hv today or local NCT bfing counsellor for advice and to have your latch checked.

Good luck.

For the first 2 weeks of ds life, dh and I took turns in staying awake as he would only sleep at night on one of us. It does get better! Sleep when baby sleeps in the day, don't worry about housework and limit visitors if they are making it more stressful for you. Good luck and congratulations!

We tried swaddling. Also try putting something you've worn into the crib with him. It might bring him comfort as it smells like you.

Also, I do recommend that you speak to your HV. You should have another appointment soon, or would have had one, to check his weight. It's worth checking to see if he's gaining, as it doesn't sound like he's getting enough milk. My son has tongue tie and was like yours where he didn't seem full. In the end, we went on formula, which I am grateful for as he is a very hungry baby and I didn't want him permanently attached to my boob :D

Killed me to stop bf and go into formula and I dunno why cos it isn't poison!....boobs were killing I couldn't take it no more! Baby would only sleep in arms, also living on an hr or so sleep, its absolute torture my heart goes out to you.....but formula definitely helped....I also gave a dummy after 4 days, and by day 10 it got slightly better, after a few weeks much better. I also used to cry when ppl said "in a few weeks it'll get better" cos when your that broken it's forever away. But honestly it does x

Lansinoh for your nipples (boots or Amazon, whichever is easiest for you). It can stay in through feeding, put it in after each feed and no need to wipe it off. They will get better much quicker.

I don't know why people are saying that it's not normal, cluster feeding is definitely normal and I had a 9hr stint once when my baby was newborn. It's all about building up your supply so baby is doing everything right. I know it's hard but it does get easier, and once you've been breastfeeding a couple of weeks and the cluster feeding stops, breastfeeding becomes so easy as you can feed any where any time. Hang in there and accept as much help as you can!

I second Lansinoh, I used to have 3 tubes on the go and would put some on before, after and in between feeds. At that age DD2 used to feed every 60-90 minutes round the clock, and only slept on my chest or lap. It's bloody hard work but it will get better, just hang in there, and congratulations

I can't give much advise on the feeding, but for your c section, I recommend lying on a hot water bottle. Have you tried letting him sleep in his pram? We don't this for the first few weeks with dd (midwife said it was absolutely fine) as she wouldn't sleep at all in her moeses basket.

It gets better I promise.

Thanks so much everyone.

The midwife weighed DS today and he's back to his birth weight, no sign of any reflux or anything like that. And tbh he's not fussy/ crying if he's feeding or on my chest.

My DD was the same for the first 2 weeks or so.

After one night of zero sleep for me while she slept on my chest I just decided to expect the worst every night.

Got DH to let her nap on him for the day and I slept as much as I could. Then set myself up with earphones and Netflix on my phone for an all nighter. Of course that was the night she finally started going in the cot for little stretches!

Good luck. It'll get better

One thing that helped my ds sleep and I have recently tried it again after him waking every 45 mins, was rolling up a long blanket and curl it round into an oval shape under their crib blanket so it cuddles them.
It helped him settle in hospital but it was difficult to do in his Moses, now he is in his cot it keeps him comfy.

DS did 2 x 1.5hr stints in his cocoonababy tonight! Yippee! Please be a sign of things to come. I just can't sleep otherwise and I'm a shadow of my former self

Doesn't help that DH is sound asleep all night and won't wake for nappy changes unless roused 3 or 4 times . Tempted to do it myself, but I'm so limited after CS and why the hell should I?!