Peaceloveandbiscuits update

[peaceloveandbiscuits]

I can't find my thread from a couple of weeks ago, but need some support tonight. You were all amazing before.

We went on holiday last week and I napped as much as possible so I'd be up for sleep training in earnest when we got back. Well tonight is the night. He had milk in a bottle downstairs before his bath, which I'll be phasing out after a week in favour of a bit of milk in a cup, or none at all. He's been screaming like a banshee for an hour now and has been sick twice. I was timing him and going in to resettle at intervals of 3 minutes, 5, 8, then going back to the beginning, but after the second vom bomb I'm sitting in his room while he screeches at me.

I will not give in. He will not have milk. He will sleep.

Ok. I think a lot of it is about us (parents) sticking with the techniques. Sounds good regarding getting rid of the negative sleep associations though. I've told my sleep trainer that I want to go ahead. We start in 2 weeks (as we are away etc before that and need to be in steady routine for training to work)
Veggie- how was last night?

Notta- the transition to their own room is a great chance to start afresh and clear out a lot
of old bad habits. You can start doing something different at the bedtime routine and create new associations- e.g. Book before bed etc and then the change in feeds can all be part of that. Have you decided not to drop night feeds (wasn't sure after your last post...)

Last night was ok, I didn't need to do any CC again! She woke around 11pm but just whimpering not crying, so I left her and after about 15 minutes she fell asleep and woke at 4am for a feed .

What kind of sleep consultant are you using?

So are you just keeping 1 feed per night?

I'm not sure what kind of sleep trainer she is- she was recommended to me by a friend who used her and said she was great. When I spoke to her on the phone she warned me there would be crying (!) and said it should take maximum of 3 weeks but probably more like 2. I'll let you know how it goes

Thanks angel I do want to stop the night feeds. I'm nearly 6 months pregnant a need a break. I just really struggle with the crying. I know hes going to complain when I stop bf at night though.

I am hoping to move his room soon i may need to skip loads of Husbands crap and will stop bf once that's done. Last night was pretty good, didn't wake til 2am (was 9pm the night before!!) and was fast asleep when Husbands alarm went off at 6. He did have a few 'feeds' between 2+6 though.

I think it's important to distinguish between angry crying (you're not doing what I want, give me my milk, let me sleep in your bed, I'm really angry with you) and sad/hurt/frightened crying. As long as your child is safe, warm, fed, and dry, you can be almost certain it's not the latter, and definitely the former.
Of course they're angry, they want to go to sleep and the only way they know how is by breastfeeding or being in your bed or being rocked, etc etc. They need to be taught to go to sleep without those crutches. There will be crying, but it will be angry crying.

And they do not remember in the morning.

Ds goes to sleep by himself at bedtime, in his cot, with me sitting outside the door so I know he can do it. It's just breaking the middle of the night habit. I'm am absolutely hopeless at coping with crying though, and he gets upset very quickly if I try to not feed him or take him.out of the cot. I've got to do it though, and hope it won't take too many nights.

You need to be strong and do the same routine as you do for bedtime, for every night wake up. It will take a few nights, but he can do it.

And he's not upset, he's pissed off that he's not getting what he wants.

I see he's 14mo. He doesn't need feeding in the night at all. You won't do him any harm at all by stopping them.

I know he doesn't need feeding, it's just been the easy option and tbf, I was OK with it until I became pregnant rather unexpectedly!

It's purely a comfort thing. It gets him to sleep very quickly.

I am OK with the moany tired/annoyed cries but he really does get upset, sobbing, and being ridiculously hormonal I just can't cope with it. Saying that, I put off the bedtime gradual withdrawal for ages and it wasn't anywhere like as bad as I was expecting.

Well when you're ready, I'll be here to cheerlead.

Thanks peace I'm sorry, I really am hopeless at this, I know I need to toughen up. I'm going to have an 18month and newborn!! Argh!

I'm wondering if I should actually just start now while semi Co sleeping?

I would start now. Jay Gordon says you don't have to stop co sleeping to night wean.
Personally we got tough. Staying in the cot and no milk before 5am. We did gradual retreat and comforted int the night but no getting out the cot! I couldn't cope being kicked and poked and crawled over. It was making me hysterical with tiredness.

HE SLEPT THROUGH!!! 7:45pm-7:30am I sat outside his room with the door slightly open. He could still see and hear me, but I wasn't in the room. When he fell asleep I went in and covered him up, removed books etc, and turned his night light off. I wonder if that made a difference as well?

I am so happy

Wohooo!!!
Well done you - and well done your son

I'm so very proud on your behalf of what you've achieved

Thanks! Everything crossed for tonight.

Well done Peace! Amazing, I can't quite imagine it. Did you sleep too?

Thanks Nano, I had looked Jay Gordon up before, and could give that a go. Husband is difficult shall we say, when it comes to this stuff. I think I might kill him if I try to stop bf while Co sleeping (he will huff and puff and piss me off hugely)

I was trying for a cot nap earlier, he walked into the room, started talking to ds, who immediately cried, then we nt to pick him up. Then stropped downstairs when I told him not to.

Just under four weeks later, DS is consistently sleeping through the night. He did wake up the night before last, because he was cold. I covered him up and he immediately said "night night" and went back to sleep

I hope this thread gives hope to someone else in the desperate situation I was in.

Wonderful news peace- well deserved!

Yippee!