Peaceloveandbiscuits update

[peaceloveandbiscuits]

I can't find my thread from a couple of weeks ago, but need some support tonight. You were all amazing before.

We went on holiday last week and I napped as much as possible so I'd be up for sleep training in earnest when we got back. Well tonight is the night. He had milk in a bottle downstairs before his bath, which I'll be phasing out after a week in favour of a bit of milk in a cup, or none at all. He's been screaming like a banshee for an hour now and has been sick twice. I was timing him and going in to resettle at intervals of 3 minutes, 5, 8, then going back to the beginning, but after the second vom bomb I'm sitting in his room while he screeches at me.

I will not give in. He will not have milk. He will sleep.

DH was stroppy this morning going on about being tired. No shit! Said we will swap tonight so he will do initial bedtime and we'll take it in turns from then on. See how he enjoys the 4am shift.

It is tiring for both of you - now he knows what you feel like every day!
Try not to argue when you're both exhausted (although I'm not good at following this advice!)
This is like ripping a plaster off. It feels awful but everything is better once it's done.

My thoughts exactly, it is shit for all of us but I know that next week we will all be getting lots more sleep thanks to this short term pain.

Just waiting for the bus home from our day out in London and he has bloody fallen asleep. Will have to put bedtime back an hour or so

Well done for not giving in and taking him to bed with you

You're cracking off the worst of it - it gets easier every time

Yes to a big fluffy blanket, snuggly socks - whatever makes you comfy

Good advice about beginning to move the chair slightly further away - very subtly and once he's better settled.

Life is going to be so different once this is cracked!

He went down like a dream tonight. I'm in bed already as I feel gash. I hope not to be updating this later, but let's not get ahead of ourselves

Thank you so much for all your support. It's just amazing and I couldn't manage this on my own.

Wow. So, some (or all) of it is behavioural as you have changed things. WELL DONE :) it is common to have the odd setback or even a whole night when it goes tits up . So don't bend if you have one of those.

Hope it all goes well.

MN totally sorted out my DD's sleep when she was 8 months or so. Paying it forward :D

DH did bedtime, apparently he just got up on his knees, slumped forward on his pillow, farted, and fell asleep

This is encouraging- thank you peace for posting this! I've been thinking about sleep training my baby for a few months now and keep chickening out. You are indeed giving me hope! Xx

How old is your baby angel? I found sleep training easy peasy when DS was 9mo, and he responded so well to it. But toddlers are a different beast entirely though they can still be broken, as we are finding out!

She's 8.5 months. She sometimes sleeps right through but other times wakes and won't go off to sleep again without milk. Milk is just the easiest way to get her to go back to sleep- but I know I need to knock it on the head!

Ahh yeah. It's a good age to do it. Does she eat well?

She does. She still has a dream feed at 10.30pm which means she wants very little, if any milk when she wakes at 7.30am, even if she's slept through. But for some reason she will down 6/7oz in the middle of the night?! She's also teething and has had several colds so it never seems like the right time to sleep train! Would you advocate no milk during teething phases or a cold too?

I wouldn't sleep train during illness. I agree the timing has to be just right, and it's a bloody pain waiting for the planets to align. At that age I gave him pre-bed milk downstairs, and that was the last milk he had until the morning (can't remember if he still had morning milk or just breakfast at that age). Then bath, pyjamas and stories in his bedroom, then into bed awake. He cried a lot. I would potter in and out of his bedroom, putting clothes away, tidying up, just busying myself, so I was still there, but I would be in and out of his sight. Minimal resettling and no conversation or eye contact. Super boring. If going in and out was antagonising him I would wait outside his room, time him for 1 minute, then go in and resettle. Repeat after 3 mins, 5 min, 7 mins, then go back to the beginning again and repeat (if he was still crying). More often than not he would fall asleep during the 5 minute gap.
That method isn't working anymore now he's a toddler, for some reason. But it worked fantastically well when he was 9mo. I took away his dummy at the same time because I was getting up in the night to put it back in his mouth so thought might as well kill two birds with one stone.

The first time you do it (especially when they're still babies) is fucking heartbreaking. You'll need to be very strong. We've got your back, though! And when they're babies it's much kinder to be consistent and carry on, rather than letting them cry and then giving in after a while, if that makes sense.

Thanks for that- so helpful! I'm going o do it. I was set on doing it from Thursday last week as my older DD was at the grandparents- but the baby didn't wake for 3 nights running!
I hope your night goes well- I'll be checking this thread regularly from now on

My HV ran a sleep workshop that I attended which really helped, and they offered support afterwards. Maybe give yours a ring and see if anything similar is available?

Think I'll have to do something- she's just been up now. She's so erratic. I walk around like a zombie after the bad nights. How's your night going peace?

Just up now for the first time. I remembered to flick the heating on before I came through

DH has taken over but he seems to think I will be doing 5-7am instead

Haha sleep deprivation is making him delusional!

Are the waking times lessening/shortening?

That was canny timing for him to wake at 3.50 so you get a short shift

Got him up at 6:45 and had some cuddles in bed and messed around for a bit. He's now having breakfast downstairs while I'm in bed with a migraine we're staying in today so I need to try getting him to nap without milk. Eek.

Oh and yes, he only woke once last night (at 3:45) so definitely lessening, and that appears to have been for less than an hour. He's definitely getting the message, it seems. I think he's probably feeling hungry by then, but hopefully after a few nights of not having milk in the night his tummy will readjust and not miss it anymore.

Peace- did you sleep train your DS at 9 months and then are having to do it again now? If so, curious as to why he needs it again...?

A combination of things. We got into bad habits when he was poorly or teething or on holiday and unsettled, the horrible 18 month regression, I have a long term illness that renders me incapable when it flares up.

Trying for a milkless nap at the moment and he's not having any of it. It's really hard because I'm on my own, and I know he would go straight to sleep for a solid hour and a half if I gave him a bottle of milk. I really need a lie down myself. Morning sickness is killing me this week.
Will try this for an hour and then he can get up if he doesn't settle. I won't give in.