Every night feels likes a lifetime

[ThursdayLastWeek]

DS is nearly 7mo and his lack of sleep is getting me down.

I feel like I have troubleshot everything, but nothing works.

Dummy worked for a while - no longer.
In cot/co sleeps - still wakes frequently.
BF or FF - wakes frequently.
In the last week I started to put him down on his front which worked for two nights (well he still woke twice for feeds, but that's good for him) but now that's stopped working too.

I'm really at the end of my tether. He's currently rolling around my bed, chewing the dummy and squealing. And I keep thinking 'I hate him' - and then of course I hate myself

I know people will say it will get better he won't be like this forever, but every single night feels like a lifetime right now. And I can't cope.

Also, have you given him cows milk? My ds 1 reacted very badly to raw cows milk (ie yoghurt and cheese were fine, but drinks of milk produced terrible response, poor sleep, tummy and griping pains)

It is horrendous.
His ears have been checked and were fine. He's been given reflux meds on the off chance its that but we see no difference.
He won't drink cows milk - or formula. He's a hardcore boob addict (I am trying to wean him off a bit with no success.) I gave up all dairy, soy etc for six weeks - no difference.
He will go to sleep at night ok - he just wakes constantly. Won't nap in the daytime. Very hard work...

Gosh Hubble I really don't know how you (and others) cope when they are like that. If nothing else, a 1 year old boy is not an easily portable thing. It's a tricky age anyway because they are still babies really, but so wilful and strong minded like 'real people' too.
Do you have support? Do you have other children?

No other kids - I'd love one more but think we will wait a bit! Hoping for a good sleeper next go around.
Dh is wonderful and incredibly good but works long hours so most weekdays it's just me. I live abroad so no family and alas no friends (not been very successful in that area since moving.) dh is often abroad for work too.
We manage, just, because I'm on mat leave. I go back after Xmas and I'm not sure how I'll cope. We may have to try cc again - I'm not against it in principle (a few nights of horror is better than months of exhaustion) but we found it counterproductive- he just got very upset , very afraid and developed a bit of a fear of bedtime.
I'm sure him wanting to breastfeed all the flipping time doesn't help either, but attempts at cutting down have been met with industrial action. He's stubborn as a mule.

thehubbles that is really tough. Are you feeding to sleep?

Yeah. And I know it's bad but he will not go down any other way. ..as in, screaming and screaming for the entire night.

We did have him in the cot sleepy but awake before six months but he won't do that now. Night wAke ups get one of us shushing/rocking/cuddling - leaving him or not picking him up =meltdown. He appears hungry roughly half the time and if he is nothing settles him except food. He seems to need to eat every 3 hours, or he gets in a state.

I suspect he suffers from low blood sugar and burns through food fast. Docs did urine dips etc but of course I'd just fed him 🙄

It's not bad to feed to sleep if it's what works for you Hubbles.
It might be worth going back through the the cycle and tying things again (if you can be arsed), because they become more receptive to things as they get older.

I think at a year old I'd be tempted to just book a room somewhere and let someone else deal with him for the night. I mean, can it get worse? And at least you'll have something to look forward to. I do understand that that is an easier thing to say than do.

I have a bit of a hurty boob today so am going to have DS all night in an attempt to drain it. He's so so so dribbly today, I've already given him brufen

Hello Hubble. I know what you mean about the screaming,if left in the cot, when sleepy. I've never been able to put my boy down without first feeling or jiggling him to sleep.
He's mixed fed, wants boob at night but mainly for comfort. At one point I thought he was hungry so started to make a bottle up around midnight but it didn't make him sleep any longer and seemed to make him windier, which woke him up more. I gave up on that idea. Sometimes he will go back to sleep with a jiggle, if he's recently been fed but the easiest and quietest way to get him to sleep is the boob.
Last night was another wake up every 1 1/2 to 2 hours. I gave up at 2-30 after he woke 1/2 hours after going off and took him in with me, again. The trouble with this is, the earlier I take him into bed, the earlier he wakes.
I've had him for 2 mornings in a row now so tomorrow I get a lay in again. Heaven. I think it's the only thing keeping me sane.
I don't know what I'll do if he's this bad when I go back to work, as I work weekends and my OH works weeks. There go my lay ins.
Good luck tonight all. I will be thinking of you all.

Sounds very similar imso - you have my sympathy - it's tough!

A night in a hotel sounds like bliss! Poor ds would be upset though - he'd miss the boobs... i can dream.

Dh has promised to take him out for a day trip tomorrow so at least I'll get a few hours to myself

Yeah we do keep trying stuff - you never know, it might click. I shall enjoy hoovering outside his door at 6am when he's a teenager

I want to go to sleep, but being woken by DS2 is somehow worse, even if he wakes at the same time IYSWIM.

Good luck tonight everyone x

Evidently I am going to be thinking of you all a lot more than I wanted to tonight. I'm getting about 1/2 hours sleep before he wakes me then takes 1/2 hr to get him asleep enough to put back. If he doesn't sleep for more than that in the next wake up in going to have to have him in with me again. My eyes hurt.
You have it worse than me Hubble. He sometimes does as much as 3 hrs in a row.
He napped badly today so that may be to blame. Daddy messed up his routine, damn it.

I fell asleep for half an hour and then he woke up and has been feeding for nearly an hour waaaaaah

An hour, Jesus Thursday, Your poor boobs!
I got an hour and a half sleep. Yay. It's chilly in here, just had to put the noisy heater on. I thought it was just me, as I'm normally on the cold side but little boy was colder than normal too. I feel bad for letting him get chilly.
I was dreaming I was in some sort of Hollywood blockbuster, superhero battle, before I was rudely interrupted. I'm dreaming even more than usual with all these short naps. I guess I don't get as far as the deep sleep. Anyone else finding the same?

Hello again - reckon we've been waking up every two hours tonight. Yawn.
11.30 (for over an hour), 3ish, and now 5ish.
I was sleepy in DS1room and I could really hear the cot rattling as he moved around - I thought that was the 9 mo regression! Too soon!

5.30 was up for the day apparently. I suspect no PB at parkrun today.

Morning all
Little rotter.
After 3 good nights of 1 or 2 wake ups we thought we were gettimg somewhere. we had 4 last night. Boo.

Rotter indeed!

DS2 went down for his first nap of the day at 7.15 FFS.

Good night here last night (and blooming excellent for me as it is my birthday today so DH slept on the couch and dealt with all wakings and left me to sleep until I woke up naturally about half an hour ago!)
DS2 only had one nap yesterday (for once was longer than 45 mins - was 1 hour 20 ). He then had 20ish mins in the car at 2ish. So bedtime was early again.
Bed 6:30
Wake up 2-3:20
Wake up 6
Up for day 7:45!!!

Sleep doesn't breed sleep in this household clearly! And only 2 get ups...dare I ask if we are passing through the worst...

Happy Birthday user1471. Glad you had a good night. Let's hope you are right and it's a sign of good things to come.
It's not unusual Thursday, for my little boy to go down for his first nap around then, if he's up b4 6. Always 1/2 an hour for the first one.
User1474 , sorry your LO decided to wake more. 1-2 wake ups a night sounds like heaven at the mo.
After being up and down like a yoyo, mini SoTired decided he would sleep for 1 1/2 hours a couple of times. Then I gave up and got him in with me at 2am. I dumped him on the OH at 6 and got an extra 3 hours. Yay.
So why do my eyes still feel like they are full of sand?

Tired I reckon it's because when you're running on empty you are really running on adrenaline. When you have a good sleep I think your body thinks 'great, do it again' and makes you tired so you will do it again (unaware that your baby may have other plans!)
Will be interesting to see what tonight brings. Today's been a more standard napping day - 2x45 mins, 1x30 mins, so we'll see...

Our day naps are an issue at the moment. Previously I'd had him on a 2/3/4 - I mean he didn't sleep for long but he was amenable to napping. Now he gets tired around 10:30 (having been up since before 5) naps for half an hour if I'm lucky then wakes. Then won't have another one but horrendously tired by mid afternoon and sometimes has a catnap about 4:30 which means he isn't tired at bedtime. I thought he might be moving tobone nap a day so tried that but was a bit of a disaster.
Very bad night last night. Bed at 6:30, asleep by 7, woke at 9, screamed until 5. Fun fun fun.

Have had a major emotional meltdown this afternoon over something trivial which is not like me at all. I feel mentally rather ill and unstable.

This does reverse when you start getting sleep, right?

Does he sleep in the car Hubble? I'm so sorry for you it sounds horrendous.

Happy birthday 1471! Out on the lash til the early hours tonight to celebrate? No...?

Not really. If he's tired he might drop off for a bit. But then twenty minutes later... I'm very tired and wary of driving as an answer. We get very hard winters here so driving through metre+ of snow/ice when groggy isn't a good idea.

He's full of cold tonight so I foresee a bad 'un

Happy birthday 1471 and wishing good nights for everyone

I have found 'quiet time' helps with poor day sleepers. If they resist the nap, put them in the pushchair laid back (ie so they can't look out and wave at people), car journey with no music, or just have cuddles in a darkened room. Even if it's just s few minutes, it recharges their batteries a bit and promotes the routine of rest/play/eat.
I do think it needs to be a full time project to enhance sleep. It has to be your focus I find, I will basically clear my diary and make it my mission - activities planned like swimming to wear them out, lots of fresh air, proper meal times. I know I am guilty of letting my whole life slide into weasel poo rat shit when I'm exhausted, but getting that routine sorted does help for me. I've had 3 dc and they've all been or become terrible sleepers, and with ds2 that's desire every effort for him to not be a terrible sleeper. I banned anyone from holding him to sleep from the day he came home from hospital, I made them wake him up and lay him down. And he's the worst of the lot.
I find the structured routines help me more than him I think!
He's at granny's tonight. I'm sharing a bottle of wine with dh and popping 2 nytol. Rock and roll eh?

That makes sense hubble I feel the same in mild Cornish winters!
I agree that maybe a sort of 'enforced' quiet time at around the same time each day might help everyone to chill out? Way easier said than done.

DS2 is at least good at napping now - I think both DH &I are getting better at spotting when he needs to go down and doing something about it. It does mean his bedtime is different every night though!

Colds here too. The baby is drugged to the eyeballs with calprofen and slathered in snufflebabe

Enjoy that nytol bear!