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Original poster

Arrrhhhhhhhggggggg! Every hour really???

34 replies

MBlackham · 30/08/2016 03:39

My 15 week old son will sleep 7-11 or 12pm but as soon as I go to bed (in the same room) around 10/11pm he wakes every 1-2 hours!!!!! I breastfeed him until he falls to sleep again and offer him both sides. I feed him plenty during the day also. I really can't take this much longer. HELP! 😭

OP posts:
fluffikins · 30/08/2016 05:48

Sorry, I think 7-11 is a good stint at 15 weeks and 1-2 hours was standard for us until about 11 months. Try going to bed sooner and making the most of the 7-11 bit when the sleep is deeper

jusdepamplemousse · 30/08/2016 06:10

He is still very wee but every hour is pretty grim. Every two hours is still grim but fairly normal from chatting to friends. But there are some things you can try to make things better (may or may not work).

Have you tried dream feeding at about 10pm? Might prolong the sleep through for another few hours.

If you've fed him and he's looking fed again an hour later - and you're fairly sure for comfort not food, try comforting with a tummy rub, or whatever chills him out usually (DD likes her nose gently stroked Hmm Grin). This can stop waking for a wee feed out of habit AND if you've someone else with you they can help. I know feeding to sleep is the easiest thing at the time though.

White noise machine?

Sleepyhead pillow?

Both of the above seemed to get DD sleeping better.

If all else fails know that sleep falls to shit at four months for everyone but you will not experience this as badly worst consolation prize ever .

Hugs. It's so so hard. Hang in there. Get help if you can.

KitKat1985 · 30/08/2016 06:15

You have my sympathies. DD was a lot like this. We found that playing her womb noise helped her settle for longer (you can get free videos of this to play on YouTube). It will slowly get better honestly.

I'd also strongly advise going to bed at 7pm when he does, and making the most of that solid stretch of sleep. I know it's crap to lose your evenings but it'll only be for a few months and it helped keep me sane.

Also have you tried expressing milk? If you could get your DH/DP to do one of the night feeds with a bottle of expressed milk it should buy you another hour or two's worth of sleep.

ElphabaTheGreen · 30/08/2016 06:22

Sorry, but both of mine were one- to two-hourly wakers from birth until they were about 18 months (yes, months) old. Some babies just are. It's fucking hard, but it's normal. Go to bed earlier and co-sleep. 'Tis the only way.

golfmonkey · 30/08/2016 09:20

I agree it's normal but also so hard. My 4.5 month old is still like this. Really loud white noise all night seems to be making things a little easier. I go to bed between 8-9pm to cope (we are up between 5-6am with both kids). I agree with jusdepamplemousse - you won't experience the 4 month sleep regression as you're having such a bad time of it anyway. My dd1 was really terrible at sleeping till 4 months, then still waking for 2-3 feeds till 8 months but has actually slept through mostly (bar a few weeks here and there) since 9 months, I think because she was fully weaned by then. It might get better soon or it might only get better a long time from now, but I think just trying to accept it and maximise your own sleep by going to bed early etc. Easier said than done, can't wait for the day when dd2 starts going longer!

Original poster
MBlackham · 30/08/2016 10:22

Thanks to all ❤️
I use White noise which helps.
I have a 21 month old also so really tough as she slept so well at his age. Just not used to it and I really struggle with lack of sleep. I am back at work in 2 weeks also! 😩 I am self employed so they is no chance of going to bed when he does. Wondering if it's me snoring or something that wakes him as he does so well when I'm not in the room. He won't take a bottle or dummy, plus I have no time to express. I know it's probably normal I just wanted a bit of advice and support really. Just really struggling at this moment in time and need support.
I might start with some baby rice? He gets so distracted with day feeds and it's not always possible to find a quiet place to feed with a toddler about.
I will try the dream feed also.
Thanks for the supportive comments.

OP posts:
ElphabaTheGreen · 30/08/2016 11:01

For an hourly waker? Don't pin your hopes on extra feeds or baby rice making one iota of difference. He's way too young for baby rice anyway. Boob is about so much more than feeds - it's support and comfort to get safely through the night. It's a hard-wired survival mechanism from when we lived in caves and risked getting eaten by wolves - he's not hungry. I could have fed both of mine three bowls of Ready Brek with bananas laced with Piriton at bed time and they'd have still been awake hourly for the reassurance.

At least I had two shit sleepers. It must be hard when your first has given you a stupidly high expectation of the harsh realities of baby sleep!

I worked full-time through most of my non-sleeping hell and managed not to kill anyone (I'm a health care professional). It's surprisingly doable, as long as you make close friends with coffee and chocolate.

For what it's worth, my champion non-sleepers are now champion sleepers at 4yo and 2yo respectively. Sleep is a developmental skill. Some just get there much later than others Flowers

fluffikins · 30/08/2016 19:59

Excellent post elphaba

Huishnish · 31/08/2016 18:04

Agree with lots of the other posts, my DS1 was much like this and I was also self employed and went back to work when he was 8 weeks. I think I aged about 10 years in his first! But... At 5 months we tried a different tactic which a friend recommended and it helped cut down the night time feeds to a more manageable 2-3. When we woke up instead of feeding him right away DH would cuddle him for 20 mins and then I'd feed him. It just seemed to break the association and in 3 nights he was sleeping much better. Worth a try maybe. Good luck. I remember how utterly desperate I was then for a bit of sleep. If it's any consolation he's now 2 and sleeps brilliantly. I'm now on to DS2 who I'm currently feeding to sleep Blush

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 31/08/2016 18:11

Basically what elphaba said.

7-11 is pretty good. Mine wakes at least hourly and he's almost 11mo. No sign of it getting any better and we've tried everything (really, everything.)

Co sleep, let him boob at will, and make sure you and dh are giving each other a solid block of rest every day.

oatybiscuits · 31/08/2016 23:46

Mine did this for months :/ without that first 3 hr stretch. His sleep went tits up when we started solids at 6m though, much much worse until his tummy adjusted. Foods not always the answer, sadly

LapinR0se · 01/09/2016 15:52

All babies wake very regularly during the night. However if your baby fell asleep on the boob that's what they'll want to go back to sleep again.

You need to feed and then put down awake and they will sleep but longer

ElphabaTheGreen · 01/09/2016 16:12

No, Lapin. They will scream and scream and scream until your eardrums bleed. They will most assuredly not sleep. Saying 'put them down sleepy but awake' to the parent of a sleepless baby is like painting yourself red and doing the bull run in Pamplona!

LapinR0se · 01/09/2016 16:24

That's not actually true Elphaba

Loraline · 01/09/2016 16:30

What elphaba said totally is true for some babies.

ElphabaTheGreen · 01/09/2016 16:37

If I had the audacity to put mine into a cot awake, they would go from zero to gagging/vomiting they were screaming so hard within a space of 30 seconds. I'm not exaggerating even slightly. 'Fussing' or 'whimpering' was not in their vocabularies.

ElphabaTheGreen · 01/09/2016 16:38

And no, they didn't have reflux/CMPI or any of the other myriad of sleep-stealing medical culprits. They just needed support to sleep.

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 01/09/2016 18:14

elphaba is right, lapin... ours goes from sleepy on the boob to defcon 1 off it in milliseconds. Hitting his head on the bars, drawing blood with scratching, gagging etc.

They are all different - but being put down sleepy but awake and then grumbling a bit and drifting off is just not happening for some. With a baby like that you just do whatever you need to to keep your sanity.

it's not down to anything the parent has missed in terms of 'doing it right.' Some of the little buggers just don't sleep. Something the consultant we saw this week was at pains to point out to us. Sometimes there's nothing wrong, you do everything right, and they still don't sleep.

My personal opinion is that sleep is a skill that needs both neurological maturity and practice to develop, just like any other skill. As with any other skill, there is avert wide range of normal, especially at this age. My 10 mo Ds is almost walking - the baby next to him isn't walking at 16mo...But sleeps like a log. All within the bounds of normal.

fluffikins · 01/09/2016 20:53

Same, mine goes from sleeping to screaming there is no in between and if I dare to place her back 'sleepy but not asleep' her head spins like the girl from the exorcist and she rages at me and then sobs her heart out within seconds. Sleepy but awake my arse!

LapinR0se · 01/09/2016 21:17

Yea that is because they've never done it and they and you don't believe it's possible.
It is possible but sadly a lot of people resign themselves yo bad broken sleep than far longer than is necessary.
This is of course excluding medical conditions such as reflux, CMPI and TT

LapinR0se · 01/09/2016 21:17

Yes not yea

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers · 01/09/2016 22:13

We have done it, lapin.
Ds was, after a ton of work, able to go down sleepy but awake. Until six months. Then he wouldn't, and we are still, almost five months later, working on doing it again. We have, after weeks and weeks got past 'The cot is evil and I will scream if you even show it to me.' We've then, after more weeks, got to, 'OK, I'll sit in here for five minutes' and now we are at 'OK, I'll go in asleep and sometimes sleep for more than an hour.'

This is the same cycle we had before. We will get there but it's slooooooow work. Ds isn't one of the nice placid decorative babies we meet at playgroup. He's got a will of iron and is pretty tough to deal with sometimes.
We will eventually get to 'in cot sleepy but awake' but it's just not a case of doing it and them putting up with it. To do that with ours we'd have to be very harsh and just leave him to it. I'm ok with the concept of cc, but not cio (that's my limit I guess...)

SleepFreeZone · 01/09/2016 22:14

Same happened here until he went into his own room 2 weeks ago. Now he wakes once in the night.

SleepFreeZone · 01/09/2016 22:15

He is 30 weeks btw.

ElphabaTheGreen · 02/09/2016 06:21

Lapin with respect, you have no idea what you're talking about, and obviously have no experience of a dedicated non-sleeper. I'm just re-quoting Hubbles here in case you missed it:

it's not down to anything the parent has missed in terms of 'doing it right.' Some of the little buggers just don't sleep. Something the consultant we saw this week was at pains to point out to us. Sometimes there's nothing wrong, you do everything right, and they still don't sleep.