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Original poster

So tired I actually don't think I'm safe to look after my children

134 replies

NoCapes · 31/05/2016 20:43

DS2 turns 7 months this week and his sleeping is just getting worse and worse as time goes on

He gets up around 12 times a night
There are nights when it's every half an hour or less
He is absolutely fine to settle and it doesn't take long to get him back off, he just won't stay asleep!

During the day I'm starting to feel really horrific now, I have a permanent headache, I take probably way too paracetamol/ibuprofens to get through the day
I'm in a permanent state of semi-spaced-out-ness, sometimes I'll drive and can't remember the journey home (I've stopped driving as much as I possibly can with kids in the car now)
The baby climbed out of his chair today and banged his head on the wooden floor, I was nearby but my reflexes just aren't up to it anymore and I wasn't quick enough to catch him

I just don't understand why he won't sleep
We've done everything we did with our other kids, revert thing is dark and quiet half an hour before bedtime, he has a bath every other night and the nights he doesn't have a bath he just gets into his pj's, we have a bottle, he falls asleep very easily
This has been our routine since he was about 8 weeks old
We've moved it earlier and later, tried giving bottle upstairs and downstairs, but nothing changes
He just won't sleep
But he is tired

Sorry for the ramblings, I need help
What else can I do?

OP posts:
Diddlydokey · 01/06/2016 16:12

No such thing OP. The joy of babies is that no routine is set for very long, hence why it all goes to pot when they're poorly or teething. Making adjustments to the feeding to sleep should see changes fairly quickly.

I can remember that my DS would often wake up and want milk but then wasn't actually hungry so would have an oz or so and then leave it. He was very happy to snack on an oz here or there given the choice

lenibose · 01/06/2016 16:40

My DS would have breakfast at 7, finished off by a top up bottle. Breast/bottle at 10:00, followed by a small piece of fruit, lunch at 12, followed by a breastfeed and then put down for a nap. Milk at 2 (breast or bottle), dinner at 5, milk at 6:30. So easily 4-5 bottles/breastfeeds in the day and then one more at night.

If he won't take a bottle after the nap, then wake him up fully, change his nappy, take him for a walk, and get him to drink. Also if you want to top up on his milk, offer that first, and then offer solids, perhaps?

JuxtapositionRecords · 01/06/2016 18:27

How have naps gone today op?

Original poster
NoCapes · 01/06/2016 19:32

Juxta really really well Shock
I did let him have his whole naps on me though
But he was up at 7am then napped at 9:30-11 and again at 2:45-4:20
He's just getting crabby again now so DP has gone to bath him (yes you read that right, he's doing something!) and I will put him down for 8ish

I've confused myself with feeds today and k don't think he's had enough but feeling really good about the sleep, I just hope it doesn't mean he wants to feed all night again though Sad

OP posts:
JuxtapositionRecords · 01/06/2016 20:31

Fab naps!! I really think your main issue is the naps + overtiredness. It ruins everything and becomes a horrible vicious circle of no sleep.

I would just say be careful of the 2-3-4 thing - 4 hours is a long stretch and it sounds like he has some sleep to catch up on so you may find he will go down for bed better at the 3 hour mark. Mine would never have handled 4 hours at that age.

Original poster
NoCapes · 01/06/2016 20:42

Oh I'm glad you said yours couldn't handle 4 hours Juxta, he was asleep after 5oz before 8, he was just absolutely knackered and his eyes were going in the bath so I said we need to get him in bed before he's too tired to take a bottle
He really was ready for bed after 3 hours
I'll see how he goes but if he's doing 2:3:3 it's still better isn't it
He's in his cot snoring like a trooper atm Grin

OP posts:
Diddlydokey · 01/06/2016 21:05

That's an amazing turnaround

Original poster
NoCapes · 01/06/2016 21:10

Ha Diddly I can't help but feel it's a fluke and it'll all go to shit pretty soon
The daytime was just too easy (well I had to force him to stay awake in between his two naps at one point and he's barely taken any milk at all today, and I haven't got a thing done because he napped on me) - but I was just focused on that sleep so just cracked on with it

I think staying up with him last night made a huge difference in helping me really see what I was dealing with, I was going to try it again tonight but I am already flagging a bit

OP posts:
Diddlydokey · 01/06/2016 21:12

Oh no, just make your plan and go to bed, now!!

Salene · 01/06/2016 21:18

My son was exactly the same and from about 5-10 months woke every bloody 45 minutes at night

He is now 20 months and last night was up at least ten times with him

I've no answer for you but just to let you know your not alone

To make matters worse I'm 30 weeks pregnant and OH works away. I think after a year you just become used to being tired constantly and your body adjusts. I've not had more than 4 hours sleep in a row in nearly 2 years 😳

JuxtapositionRecords · 01/06/2016 21:24

Go to bed!!

FructoseTart · 01/06/2016 21:27

OP, is he weaned? I found my DD3 (1) slept much better once she was weaned. Her routine was
Wake up, 5oz
An hour later breakfast - porridge
About 10ish 5oz milk and nap.
When she woke lunch - yoghurt with a fruit pot
3ish 5oz bottle
Dinner - whatever we were having liquidised at 5/5.30
7pz bottle at 6.30 and bed.
She also sleeps with a bottle. Will not go down without one. The other 2 DC were the same. I didn't stop giving them bottles until DD1 was 4 and DD2 was 3. They never had comfort blankets or dummies so the bottle was their comfort.

CaitAgusMadra · 01/06/2016 21:36

Just to give an idea - my DC is also 7 months old and is taking 4 x 8oz bottles per day and 3 meals of solids. He doesn't feed at all overnight although he does wake up plenty of times just not due to hunger!

Original poster
NoCapes · 01/06/2016 21:43

He woke up, he must've sensed I was thinking about sleeping

Salene how are you even upright?! Shock you are superhuman

OP posts:
Choccybadger · 01/06/2016 21:48

Weaning was absolutely the key with my DD2. She was a terrible sleeper and I guess it must have been wind because as soon as she had something 'laying on her stomach' she was a different, much better sleeping baby.
You should try to get as much help as you can from friends, family, DP or a paid mother's help if you can afford it. You need proper quality sleep or you will be ill, physically and perhaps mentally.
As a mum of 3 and chronic pain sufferer I can completely empathise and I am praying for you to get some rest X

Salene · 01/06/2016 22:06

It's not easy I tell you that, we had no improvement with weaning I think some kids sleep others don't. I'm just praying when this next baby comes along he is a sleeper as I'm not sure I have another 2 years of no sleep in me. I hope you get some sleep soon and if you find a magical answer please make sure you tell me

Diddlydokey · 02/06/2016 07:12

How was your night Op?

CaitAgusMadra · 02/06/2016 07:48

Fingers crossed you had a better night. I do sometimes feel like I'm constantly feeding him but he seems quite content...

Bottle - 7 am
Breakfast - 8 am
Bottle - 11 am
Lunch -1.30 PM
Bottle - 3 pm
Dinner - 5.30 - 6 pm
Bottle - bedtime

Those timings are very approximate- for example if he naps til 4pm then he'll have the bottle when we wakes. I also have a 3 year old to work around.

I don't go with set nap times. He is only ok with a 2 or 2.5 awake time so he goes down for a nap whenever he's ready & I let him sleep for as long as he wants.

As he starts taking more solids he will probably cut back on his mid morning & mid afternoon bottles. He does take a lot of milk but is a big boy (98th centile). They need at least 18 - 21 oz of formula at this age so if he's getting that I wouldn't worry

poocatcherchampion · 02/06/2016 08:06

How are you op?
It is so hard to see through the fug isn't it?

Flowers
Original poster
NoCapes · 02/06/2016 08:59

Last night was a bit of a write off
I went to sleep, and then woke a few times in the night to baby in bed with me and empty bottles on the side, don't even remember getting up with him!
So no idea what times he got up, how many times he had a bottle, but he went through 3 so I can only presume I stuck one in his mouth every time he made a noise

Really really really struggled to get up this morning, my eyes just wouldn't physically open and my head is pounding

So basically if I try to sleep I literally don't function, not sleeping the night before was so so so much better, but how long realistically can I keep that up for?
Oh I could just cry, he was responding really well and I've just ballsed it all up again AngrySad

OP posts:
JuxtapositionRecords · 02/06/2016 08:59

Hope you had a good night Smile

Skiptonlass · 02/06/2016 09:00

Hope you had a good night!

salene weaning made no difference to ours either, unfortunately. For some kids it does I'm sure, but not all.

Diddlydokey · 02/06/2016 09:04

Are you making the bottles up before you go to bed? Maybe stop doing that so that he has to wait for one to be made up

Original poster
NoCapes · 02/06/2016 09:06

Yeah we started making them in advance when he started messing and having dribs and drabs of them and we couldn't predict when he'd want the next one
That might be an idea actually, and if nothing else it'll make me fully wake up if I have to make a bottle

OP posts:
CaitAgusMadra · 02/06/2016 09:44

It's too hard to try this when you are so sleep deprived. You need your DP or somebody (sister, mother, good friend...anyone) to let you get some sleep either at night or during the day. It'll be so much easier to be consistent & strong when you have a few good hours of sleep under your belt. Can you and DP do it together at the weekend?