Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

[Purpleboa]

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

Dd has developed this gut wrenching scream which she's utilising on a very regular basis. Had first resettle and she decided to adopt it to ensure I fed her. She didn't need feeding so I really need to just put up with it until she calms in my arms but it is a horrible horrible sound, I'd imagine the noise a dementor would make

Going to try and avoid co-sleeping until after 2am tonight but will see what the night holds.

Realised she's in a wonder week and teething so it's difficult to try to put anything in place when I'm not sure if she's in pain of not

Sounds like a good night star! Hope it continues

Fluff it's difficult isn't it when you don't know if they're in pain or not, I have that problem with ds

Still crap here although recently (touch wood) he hasn't been staying up, he wakes up screaming every 15 mins for an hour or so then settles for a bit then it starts over.

That's great Star!

Awful night here. Co slept from 10. I'm at my wits end. Really don't know what to do anymore. I haven't got the energy for any solutions. I just want it all to stop!

well my 'avoid co-sleeping until after 2am' thing didn't work. She came in with me at about 11 and slept like a dream apart from needing 2 feeds. I just couldn't get her to go in her cot at 11, tried for 40 mins but she screamed every time I put her in. I feel so torn - we all sleep better when we co-sleep but I don't want a 3,4,5 year old in my bed. I think I need to crack her sleeping in the cot all night, even with multiple wake ups but it's SO hard when you're knackered and feeling pissed off that DH is snoring next door and you're sitting in a chair trying to hold her to sleep so you can transfer her, trying not to fall asleep for ages.

She does have a cold though so not sure if I should just not bother with any attempt at routine until she's over that, but then there's always something isn't there?

Could have written your post Fluff! I'm the same. Yeah we get more sleep co sleeping but I don't want to go down this road! I want my bed back! Currently I'm in her room sleeping in the guest bed. It is far from ideal. I just can't help but wonder where it went so wrong? She was fine to be in her cot all night until Christmas, even if she did do multiple wakings!

I know what you mean about being so tired during the night. Last night I spent two hours getting her into a deep sleep...trying to transfer her...She wakes...repeat. I know some posters go on about consistency but I defy anyone to try that whilst permanently exhausted and about to snap!

I just don't know what to do. Plus I have a cold and feel utterly rotten. It sucks.

We coslept last night.

I know you're supposed to be consistent but meh.

Ds can sleep through, he has slept through a few times now, probably 6-7 times in his life! Amazing! Some nights he wakes and will resettle, some nights he just won't go back to sleep.

It difficult if you don't want to cosleep and you're not getting any sleep anyway by doing it.

Would you cosleep in your own bed with a bed guard so that at least you can go back in with your dh and be in your own bed?

Only other thing I can thing of is looking into some kind of sleep guru book to assist with some routine/sleep training type thing. Easier said than done I know.

I just can't get ds to stay in his cot all night, I simply can't.

I don't really know what more I can do, he eats and sleeps well in the day, I've night weaned him, he self settles in the evening, he has a dummy, he has a comfort teddy attached to his dummy to help him find it.

He still wakes up several times most nights, sometimes he's hysterical, sometimes it's just a constant moaning.

I don't really want to do cc because he's come so far in all other aspects compared to where we were 3 months ago.

I'm feeling very low now. Ds has been so tired rubbing his eyes and yawning, iif I put him down he screams to be picked up constantly. I have been trying to get him to sleep on and off for the last 3 hours he just won't do it at all. I'm so tired I don't even know how I'm staying awake... And my ass hurts from being sat here so long.

Giving up on sleep today already

Rant over.... Hopefully.

Can I just reassure everyone too I really hope this isn't patronising, not sure if any of you have older dc.

I've a 7, almost 8 year old. When I look at him the time has gone so quickly. It seems no time at all since he was tiny and I was worrying about what he ate and how he slept. I can tell you he would not want to sleep with his mum now, and actually things totally change, he was a great sleeper as a baby and toddler but struggles now to sleep, I can now pack him off to bed with a drink and a book

Well obv everything went out the window last night with 4 wake ups and I just decided to feed to sleep as I couldn't be bothered to rock. I have NO resolve!!!! Eurgh.

Totally agree pjyama - my first is only 2 but he's already a proper little boy. He really helps me to get thru all the challenging stuff with DS2 as I know it goes in the blink of an eye and without knowing exactly HOW it will pan out, things just DO change.

Meant to say pjyama you've made some amazing progress!! How did you night wean?

I'm not really sure I be honest. It's probably not really fair to say I night weaned because actually it all kind of happened by accident.

It had got to a point where milk wasn't even settling him, he wasn't eating enough in the day, he was waking up every half an hour. I was just so exhausted I ended up cosleeping with him and I found then when cosleeping he'd sleep through until maybe 4am without a feed. So I figured he couldn't really be that hungry at midnight.

I think we were cosleeping a lot around that time and he'd sleep right through some nights if in with me. I ended up saying I wasn't feeding him before 3am but I was bringing him into bed instead.

Then at some point I decided to pull the cot right against my bed after someone on here suggesting it, ds seemed to really like this. I started also bringing a bottle of water to bed and giving him a bit of that instead and somehow I just stopped feeding him at night.

From that he was taking more during the day and napping better.

He does sleep far better at night now but still wakes a lot too. Last night after the fourth wake up I bought him into bed and he slept until 6.15 so we all got avoid night.

I'm not going back to night feeds though as he's eating so well in the day now.

A good night that was supposed to say.

I know it's different for bf babies by the way.

Finally looks like we're on the last push on one tooth today, suddenly a lot of dribble and can see the tooth pushing through after ages of it just being under the skin although another 2 are close behind. She's also got a cold with a temp and persistent cough. Miraculously this hasn't woken her yet but she usually has a wake up at 10 so counting down to that now.

I've given calpol but the tooth + cough + wonder week means I don't think I'll be getting much sleep tonight or at least we'll be co-sleeping quite early

Ha! first wake up

Fluff have you tried nurofen? Works loads better for ds when getting teeth.

I am about to go crazy. We're on about wake up number 5. He's been up flr just over an hour and won't settle, he literally just started drifting off and it sounded like h was fucking drilling downstairs fucking drilling?!?! Wtf! Woke him straight up so tired.

Good luck everyone tonight

What was he drilling zombie?!

I had similar DH fuckwit behaviour. DS2 woke so I decided not to feed but the rocking caused so much screaming it woke DS1. How on earth DH 'didn't hear' a. The baby wailing thru the monitor or b. DS2 shouting and crying is beyond me. I'm feeding DS2 by this point but after 15 mins of listening to DS1 get more and more distressed I take ds2, stamp into our room and shout 'for fuck sake, can you see to DS1', which of course rouses DS2 and we habe tp start all over again. I was livid... Haha. Then DS1 wakes again and DH says... he felt a bit hot. A bit...!!! He had a raging temperature poor thing.

I was so cross. Anyway despite all this we had another 5am wake up then a lie in till 730

Hope all is well with the tooth, cough and ww fluff. Which ww are you on? We are 32 weeks but 2 weeks late so think we're coming into ww 37 which starts at 34. Clear as mud!

Bloody DHs

Well she woke up at about 11 and every time I tried to put her in the cot she screamed and screamed until it got so that she was coughing and making herself gag. I wasn't planning on trying cc or pupd but now I'm pretty sure that it just wouldn't work on her anyway, she's so headstrong! So she came in with us and had more screaming and eventually went to sleep and then slept right through needing no more feeds so now I'm just not sure what to do. I think the screaming is because she wants to co sleep so I'm probably making it worse every night. Realistically I think we'll have to wait until at least the cold subsides and try more with the cot. I'm going all guns with forcing the transitional object on her now too

Might try neurofen, last time it made her vomit up an entire feed within 2 mins of giving it so we're not sure if it causes it or it was just coincidence

Starfish I think the tiredness must affect them more than us causing all kinds of odd behaviour. Is ds1 ok today?

I have no idea what he was drilling, I text him, it went like this....
'Wtf is that noise'
'Wtf are you doing?!'
'You woke ds up as soon as he drifted off'

No reply but the noise stopped so I guess he got the message.

Fluff I found calpol doesn't really do anything for ds but nurofen is my god!

I think I cursed myself the other day by saying ds doesn't stay up at night anymore. He was up for a good while after I did that last post, then got him down. Then multiple wake ups (I lost count) then awake at 3.30 screaming and crying and wouldn't settle so I put him in with me, he still wouldn't settle. He would only settle if I say up holding him. I did that until around 4.45 then lay down with him in the same position which killed my arm, then I managed to get him lying next to me until 6.15.

I think DD is in the 'categories' leap. Let's hope this one is the one where she learns the difference between being awake and asleep and that night time is for the latter!

We are the same fluff.... I have high hopes for this wonder week!

Zombie that sounds like such a tough night. I wonder what it is that makes him like that when he can be so settled as well. DS1 is pretty ill.... raging temperature of 41 that won't go down. Gp said not to worry . DH goes to India for a week with work on Sunday. Brilliant.

Oh no star, any other symptoms? Hope he feels better soon. Calpol now bringing temp down?

I have no idea, ds can settle so well for a few days every few months then it goes back to normal he's been up a few times tonight, only short wake ups so far. He did have a massive poo that went all up his back before bed so I do wonder if there's another allergy. Will ring and chase his allergy appt Monday.

Have started a new thread, I can't link on the app! Have named it 'sleepless of mumsnet - am too tired to think of a good title' or something like that.... Too tired to remember the name oh god I'm losing it