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Original poster

Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

999 replies

Purpleboa · 05/12/2015 13:53

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

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Original poster
Purpleboa · 22/01/2016 09:14

Hi everyone! Sorry I've not checked in for a while. It's not because DD is sleeping better but it's been a busy few weeks. We're in the process of selling our house so very stressful. Then DD and I went to stay with my parents for a week. It was absolutely lovely. Mum and dad looked after me so I could focus on looking after baby. No cooking or cleaning! My definition of a good holiday has obviously chaneed!

DD still has her cold. The chesty cough keeps her awake, poor lamb. She actually slept Ok at my parents. A few hours in her cot then in with me, but we both did get more sleep than usual which was nice. Back to usual last night though, our first night back.

I'm feeling very guilty for co sleeping. But right now it's working for us. Am I making a rod for my own back? Should I be trying harder? It's just so cold and I'm so tired!

Scary about the monitor Fluff. Hope you get a better one. It does sound broken.

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Pyjamaramadrama · 22/01/2016 09:47

That's brilliant.

If I were you purple I'd try to get her in her cot initially at night and for daytime naps, but cosleep during the night if she won't resettle.

That's pretty much what I'm doing. Sleep is the priority you can work on the night later on.

fluffikins · 22/01/2016 09:52

I don't think you should feel at all guilty for cosleeping purple. We part time co sleep, she starts out in her cot then in with me at whatever point I get too tired to stand in the room with her. I know loads of people who said they co slept right up to when they were sleeping through and then put them in their cot. Also know people who say they still comsleep with 3 year olds etc. It's not ideal and not what I really want to do but realistically if it means everyone sleeps then actually, who cares?

Bugaboom · 22/01/2016 10:04

purple don't feel guilty. And don't be surprised if any parents you know whose babies sleeps in a cot right now, find themselves with a wriggly 3 year old climbing into their bed in the future glares at 3 year old ds

Original poster
Purpleboa · 22/01/2016 10:06

Thanks both! You're right, it's about getting sleep. I feel she's big enough for us to do it safely. We do start off with the cot so that's good. It is a bit annoying that she used to be able to do all night in her cot - wake ups aside - and now she won't! I think she wants to be sleeping on her side but can't get there on her own. Have tried putting her down on her side but she won't let me do it. Fluff, you use a sleepyhead grand, can they sleep on their sides in it do you know?

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zombiemeow · 22/01/2016 10:15

Ohhh fluff I would go for video if it was me Grin

Purple sounds like you had a lovely time, can I go next? Grin and don't feel guilty for co sleeping, if it helps do it!

We had an awful night. Ds hardly slept. In the end I was so tired I couldn't hold him any more so brought him in with me but I couldn't sleep as I was worried about him wandering off. Every time I went to move him into his cot he woke up. Eventually I got him in there and the minute I got into bed he started screaming again. I remember looking at the clock and it was 5am, then I think I fell asleep and he woke up at. 5.45 Sad

Original poster
Purpleboa · 22/01/2016 10:30

Oh Zombie. That sounds a killer of a night Flowers. You have earned yourself one stay at my parents' respite home for knackered mummies!

Do you have much on today or can you catch up on rest?

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fluffikins · 22/01/2016 10:31

Oh zombie that sounds rough :(

purple I am now using the grand, we reverted back to the deluxe for a few nights because she started rolling and waking in the grand but now she seems used to it. Yes, I do put her on her side, 80% of the time it's like a magic trick (as long as she's not hungry) and it means she settles really quickly. Sometimes I put her in so her back is against one of the cushions though so she's not in the centre of it i.e. so she can't really roll onto her back. I also puller her right over so her hand facing the ceiling is hugging the cushions, does that make sense? So if flat on her back is 6 o clock position and completely face planted into the bed is 12 o clock position, she's in a 9/10 o clock position.

I've found the BT 7500 for £99 which seemed like a good price as its £150 everywhere else. Website is probably highly dodgy but I've ordered it anyway!

Pyjamaramadrama · 22/01/2016 10:52

I got really told off by a nurse when I admitted we were cosleeping. She said I'd never get him out of the bed and I was risking squashing him. I left and cried. I wish now that is pointed out that he WOULD in fact get out of our bed because I've never heard of an 18 year old lad sharing with his mum.

My sister has also criticised me so I told her I'd give her ds for two weeks and see if she ended up cosleeping, as the alternative was staying awake all night.

I've tried cc but something always gets in the way like teething, ds doing a poo, a leaky nappy or him being sick.

He goes to bed in his cot and for naps so if he wakes up in the night for a cuddle is it so bad? He's in a position where he can't roll out and I shuffle down the bed so I can't roll on him then I sleep kind of holding his foot so I know he's there.

fluffikins · 22/01/2016 11:07

I'd say co-sleeping is far preferable to CC, I know I couldn't bear the latter. Co-sleeping lowers the risks of SIDS if done safely too, so don't really see the issue!

I just don a onesie so no covers, no pillows and we both sleep really well once she's in with me, even if she does wake for feeds.

zombiemeow · 22/01/2016 18:11

Haven't stopped today purple and didn't get everything done that I needed to. No naps either Sad he's decided he will only sleep on me again.

Pyjamar that's awful of the nurse! The few nurses I spoke to about it encouraged co sleeping.

fluffikins · 22/01/2016 18:38

Can you sling him zombie? I'm sure you've already been asked this!

Ok naps here although somethings off, possibly teeth. I reset my monitor today which apparently involved 6-10 hrs of it being unplugged Hmmso will see if it's fixed the sound issue in the next 20 mins.

zombiemeow · 22/01/2016 20:12

Hope the monitors sorted fluff! No he hates the sling with a passion, he loved it the first few days and slept all day in it but as soon as he got more active he won't go in it at all

Good luck everyone!

zombiemeow · 22/01/2016 20:36

2 wake ups so far. He's kind of changed what he's doing though, before he would usually be standing or sitting up crying, how he cries but stays lying down. It's almost as if he's still asleep. He has settled when I gave him his dummy the past two times.

fluffikins · 22/01/2016 21:06

Dd does that, kind of moans in her sleep. It's really difficult to know when to intervene

starfish12 · 22/01/2016 21:28

Boo to.no.naps zombie

DS just woke up crying... DH has gone to the rescue but I'm fully expecting to be summoned for boob via the monitor judging by the level of crying.Hmm

starfish12 · 22/01/2016 21:28

I meant coughing not crying

Original poster
Purpleboa · 23/01/2016 10:08

How's everyone today? How were your nights? Not brilliant here. I did manage to get her settled in her cot till 1130 (after a few wake ups) but then she was in with me. But wouldn't settle - poor thing kept coughing, it's a real chesty cough and my heart goes out to her. I just want this cold to bugger off!

Feeling surprisingly Ok today though. Meeting friends for lunch without baby, very excited! Also, DD is 7 months today. I'm partly happy, partly sad the time is flying, but also very 'she's 7 months and still not sleeping or eating and still bloody breastfeeding!' Ah well. Hoping it's all moving us forwards to happier days of sleep for all...

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Original poster
Purpleboa · 23/01/2016 11:48

Bah, gutted! I'm having to bring DD along to my ladies lunch. DH too busy doing stuff round the house. It's not the end of the world and I'm sure my friends would like to see her (although they're not the most baby friendly) but I was SO looking forward to a sproglet free lunch. I'd put my best non booby access dress on and packed my new designer bag. Now it's back to am old dress and my trusty nappy bag. Was just really looking forward to some me time. I know I sound selfish but hopefully you all know what I mean - when you have a breastfeeding co sleeping baby, me time is last in the agenda! Ah well. I'm sure we will have a nice time and at least I don't have to worry about rushing back for her feed...

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zombiemeow · 23/01/2016 13:03

Bad night here and I feel horrible, ds woke a few times before I went to bed, when I went up I was exhausted. I had a dream ds was screaming and I couldn't tell where it was coming from, I woke up to find h sitting with him and he was screaming. He said he'd been doing it for 15 minutes and I slept through it all Sad I feel so bad. He was right next to me how could I miss it!? Ds could barely breathe he had been screaming so much. The second I took him off h he calmed down straight away. He had another wake up or two after that.

zombiemeow · 23/01/2016 19:02

So far tonight I got ds to sleep, put him in the cot, when I got to the bottom of the stairs he woke up crying. He was stood up. I lay him down and just lay on the bed and he sat there for a while then went to sleep, the second I go to move he wakes up Confused I'm trapped! And seriously about to piss myself

zombiemeow · 23/01/2016 21:08

Sorry to keep posting.... We're on our 6th wake up Sad I'm so worried about him and me. Surely this can't be good for him.

starfish12 · 23/01/2016 21:30

zombie - is there a chance there is an issue with his adenoids/tonsils? Ive heard that can really affect sleep until they get them sorted? Just a thought... hope you escaped and are drinking wine.

purple hope you had a nice lunch in the end and dd let you catch up withyour friends.

My ds keeps coming out in rashes on his face and his cheeks burn up. No idea what thats from.

Hope tonigjt is good for everyone x

zombiemeow · 23/01/2016 21:57

Starfish what are the symptoms? He has had his throat checked a few times but my Drs are pretty useless Angry is your ds teething? My ds gets a rash on his cheeks (aswell as redness) and chin when he's teething because of all the dribble.

fluffikins · 24/01/2016 06:29

Sorry to hear about wake ups and allergy symptoms Sad

We have had lots of trouble settling last night. Gave up settling the 3rd wake up and brought her in with me at 2, then she woke at 5 screaming with wind. Is that normal? She's doing it most mornings, it sounds like she's in agony Sad thinking of trying probiotics on her???