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Original poster

Sleepless of Mumsnet - join us if your LO consistently laughs in the face of sleep!

999 replies

Purpleboa · 05/12/2015 13:53

Hi everyone. I thought I'd create this thread when I saw that there were quite a few of us lingering on the 4 month regression thread, with babies that clearly didn't get the memo about things getting better!

I've seen another thread for parents whose children are long term poor sleepers but I think it's been relegated to zombie status. So I hope nobody minds if I start another one! If your LO consistently struggles to sleep, whether it's down to diet, night terrors or just sheer bloody mindedness, please pull up an armchair and join in! I'll supply the espressos, hugs and chocolate, wine and tears served after 4pm.

I'll start: my DD is 25 weeks. She's gorgeous, adorable and the absolute light of my life. Unless it's between the hours of 7pm and 7am! She's struggled with sleep always. I thought things would improve following the 'fourth trimester' but she got a cold, reacted badly to her jabs...and before I knew it we'd cruised into the 4 month regression. Which she's either still in, or she's teething, or developing, or wonder weeking, or fck knows really!

The past two weeks have been particularly painful and I feel I'm reaching the limits of my endurance. I love being her mum, I love spending time with her...but not sleeping makes it oh so very hard.

I have found Mumsnet to be a wonderful source of support during those dark and lonely hours when you feel like you're the only person in the world going through this. So I wanted to give back and support others too.

I'll put the kettle on...

OP posts:
Original poster
Purpleboa · 16/01/2016 15:34

Can I get advice on here from breastfeeding mums? On the advice of my friend whose baby is breastfed and was also a non sleeper, I've started to try and stretch feeds to every four hours. Food or drink will be offered in between but not the boob. My concern is that DD is too little for me to do this yet - she's 7 months in a week. Also, she's a slow starter with the weaning and acts like I'm offering her poison when I bring out the formula, so I'm concerned she won't get enough to eat? DH is all for being tough and sticking to it, but I am worried it's too soon. It did work wonders for my friend though. Any thoughts much appreciated!

OP posts:
starfish12 · 16/01/2016 18:24

Hi purple. In a perfect world our day would go something like this:

Milk at 7, 11, 3, 7, and all night long
Food at 730, 12, and 5pm.
Over time, snacks would replace the 11am and 3pm feed.

I did this with both my boys. DS1 I did BLW and he didn't eat much however he was taking 4 x 9oz bottles by 7 months.

DS2 is still breastfed but I'm doing purees. I feel like he's hardly getting any milk at all and I'm actually a bit worried in case my supply runs out as he won't take the non dairy formula.

So like everything else I guess it just depends on the baby... I would just follow her lead. She will take what she needs. My DS1 survives on fresh air he's such a crap eater. Hope that helps a bit x

Bugaboom · 16/01/2016 18:37

I didn't try this with either of mine. Can't really remember specifics with Ds but he was a very good eater and took a bottle of formula before bed. With dd I actually tried to bf more in the day in the hope of filling her up would reduce night feeds. Didn't work! I think whatever you try you need to be committed to the change as it is always going to take a few days. I also think it would be good for you to have some time out for those four hours if dh is there. She's more likely to take food/formula if breastfeeding isn't readily available

fluffikins · 16/01/2016 19:26

No idea on the breastfeeding. But I'd get her weighed now and that way you can see if there's any drop off. Maybe pump until you're sure so your supply is maintained as before?

thinkfast · 16/01/2016 19:58

Not sure what best advice is re breastfeeding purple but if you're trying to get more solids into her have you tried something ready made like Ella's kitchen? My ds adored those and we were out all day today and I forgot to bring dd some purée and bought an Ella's pouch and she was wolfing it down. Couldn't get enough. I had to stop and distract her with something else in the end as thought she'd be ill. She's never like that with my cooking except for just pear purée

fluffikins · 17/01/2016 07:42

DD was up every 2 hours feeding. I think this is what she's been doing when co-sleeping but it wasn't as noticeable as I could just haul her on. Now she's in a different room I spent quite a lot of last night on a chair with her. Brought her in with me at 5am but it was so cold that sleeping with no duvet from the waist meant I was ice cold, uncomfortable and achey so didn't get much sleep. DH having another lie in now (because I don't know why - maybe he imagined he was the one who got up every 2 hours?? or maybe he's just an arse) as I've got up with DD at 7.

Any tips on reducing night feeds? I already feed her frequently in the day and don't want to switch to formula as that neocate stuff sounds rank.

starfish12 · 17/01/2016 11:07

Do you think she's waking because she's hungry fluff or just waking at the end of a sleep cycle and needing to feed back to sleep because that's the association she has?

We are in the latter camp and I'm hoping it will just change. He's definitely going longer now... maybe 3-4 hrs between 'feeds' not sure if that's developmental or because of solids....

What's her appetite like during the day?

zombiemeow · 17/01/2016 11:10

Purple how did last night go?

Fluff that sounds rough.

Dm had ds last night. I had chance to sleep, but no. I went out and got blind drunk stumbled in at 2am, eat a minging take away and rolled to bed around 3.30. Had to be up at 7. Utter fail! Grin

fluffikins · 17/01/2016 11:23

I think she can go through sleep cycles as she did 3-6am the night before last and I thought a sleep cycle was about 40 mins? and she's doing 2 hours on the dot. Most of the time she does take a long feed, sometimes she just needs picking up, 20 second of nipple action and she's off again. I think weaning is causing her wind (really need to stop giving her cucumber as I think this is the culprit), she's also teething but not visibly distressed by it. Her feeding during the day is ok - I've tried to feed her every 2 hours this morning but she's not interested and only had 1 and a half feeds really since 7 (it's now 11.30).

zombiemeow · 17/01/2016 17:33

Not looking great here tonight.

No naps at all today. He has been utterly miserable Sad just trying to got him to sleep now. Way too early but he's just screaming and throwing massive tantrums as he's so tired.

fluffikins · 17/01/2016 18:15

Oh hopefully he'll sleep really well
Web he does go down zombie a he'll be so tired.

Naps awful here too. Had to go to inlaws and got there right at the end of her wake time but they didn't let her nap so she was up for about 6 hrs in total Confused and then napped late so will probably be a pain to get down. Trying her with the sleepyhead grand today for the first time, she's been in the deluxe up until now, so will see if that improves anything. She's very tight in the deluxe now so maybe she just needs more room?? (Praying that helps!)

zombiemeow · 17/01/2016 18:28

Really hope the sleepyhead change works fluff. I hate going to in laws as it means ds doesn't get naps!

He went to sleep at 6 in the end after brushing teeth etc. He woke up at 6.25, just trying to settle him Sad

fluffikins · 17/01/2016 18:34

My inlaws can't understand why she doesn't just go down for naps in a bouncy chair or in a crib. Ha! They look at me very oddly when I've had to strap her into the sling and March off for an hour when we've been there for too long and she's screaming.

zombiemeow · 17/01/2016 18:48

My mil is much the same Angry she says that her daughters dc will sleep at her house for a nap easily, her daughters dc is 3 years old. When she was the same age as ds sil had gone nc with her so she wouldn't have a clue what she was like then!

Ds will not nap at all anywhere apart from home Sad if he gets really really tired he will sometimes nap at dm's but that's quite rare

zombiemeow · 17/01/2016 20:24

3 wake ups so far Sad

Original poster
Purpleboa · 17/01/2016 20:39

Hi everyone! Hoping the night improves. Settling in for a rough one myself. Last night DD was burning up, and today she has a bad cold. Poor thing is so congested and dopey. I know from her last cold though that she won't sleep in her cot. At all. And I have a three hour drive to do tomorrow morning! Great timing.

Tried settling her in her cot but on second wake up so far. Eek.

Fluff we've also purchased the sleepyhead Grande! Out of desperation. No improvement yet but unfortunately it's coincided with her cold. Fingers crossed it works for us both cos that is one expensive item!

OP posts:
fluffikins · 17/01/2016 20:41

We're on 1 and she'd only resettle after a small feed (don't think she really needed it) and being put on her side. I suppose I should be brave and try to just pick her up and not feed but then I think if I'm up I might as well feed her as it might stop her waking with hunger later?? Although I suppose I should at least try it, might work out better than expected

zombiemeow · 17/01/2016 21:37

Does anyone else find their dc have a 'good night' before getting ill?

Ds slept well the other week which was shortly before he seemed to have a whopper of a stomach bug.

Purple fingers crossed the sleepyhead works, have you used one before?

zombiemeow · 18/01/2016 08:02

I'm actually really worried about what happened last night.

Had a few wake ups before I went to bed. I went up and went to sleep. I didn't wake up until 5 am. Ds monitor had been turned off and was beeping, I only ever do that if I get him out the cot to hold him but I have no memory of the night at all. I don't know if I just forgot or if I did some crazy sleep walking stuff. I have no idea Sad but it's really worried me.

fluffikins · 18/01/2016 08:21

I've had nights like that Zombie when she was in the same room as us, like I wake up in a panic that she's on me but I've put her back in the crib and she's all safe - I have no memory of it whatsoever.

Last night was atrocious, a few wake ups before we went properly to sleep at about 11, then she woke up at 12 and 2 and then at 3 I heard her on the monitor and saw that she was standing in her cot so went through to resettle and of course it was party time for an hour including a dirty nappy, long feed, blowing raspberries, huffing into my face, then finally screaming. Tried to bring her in with me but she carried on screaming, woke DH up apparently so he couldn't sleep for the rest of the night (really don't need his guilt trip on top of being so tired tbh!) and eventually I took her upstairs to our other room that DH had been sleeping in and co-slept with her in there from 4.30-6, but it was FREEZING.

Feel exhausted I just don't know what to do for the best. I think the party time episode was due to the poor inlay-related napping so going to try better today. I wish I had a strategy or something to implement but I don't want to put her on formula or try purees so I guess until she starts eating more then she's probably going to be waking for feeds all night Sad

starfish12 · 18/01/2016 11:26

Was he ok this am zombie? I have done that too where I wake in a panic thinking he's under my duvet. Hope you had fun on your night out btw... you deserved a blow out!

How was the sleepy head purple?

fluff why don't you want to try purees? I'm doing both... filling him up on puree and giving him food to eat himself as well like toast, broccoli, roast veg. I did only BLW with DS1 and wish I'd done puree to get volume and range of food in him. He's a really crap eater... altho that may always have been the case I'll never know. Was your DD dropping weight with her cmpa? That's another reason I wanted to do puree. One month in and he's jumped from 50 to 75 centile which I'm chuffed with.

We have a hacking cough here which keeps waking him tho we did have a good stretch of 430 to 730am. Tho DH decided to get up for work, have a shower, come back to bed as was ill, get up to get his laptop and generally not let me get back to sleep from when his alarm went off at 6am Angry

zombiemeow · 18/01/2016 14:06

Glad it's not just me fluff, it really shook me up. Sorry you had a crap night. Ds went through a stage of night poos which seems to make everything worse as it wakes them up good and proper. And Angry at your dh, I think they all feel very sorry for themselves!

Stafish, he was fine. I think I got to the bottom of it, h said he heard the alarm on the monitor going off and ds talking to himself so he must have been standing at the end of his cot. He said he heard me get up so I must have lay him back down and gone back to bed without switching the alarm back on. Hope your ds is feeling better very soon, we had the cough here the other week, first me, when I coughed I kept waking him up, then ds got it and was waking when he coughed. Was a nightmare!

fluffikins · 18/01/2016 15:03

Well, I'd read that if you combine BLW (where they learn to chew first) and purees (where they learn to swallow first) you increase likelihood of choking as they might try to swallow the lumpy stuff, having had the puree. I'm also not sure if it would help as don't like the thought of pureeing carb stuff and can't see how fruit and veg puree will get her sleeping any better than breastmilk (?)

I've decided to try her with a fleecy sleep suit under her gro bag tonight, just in case it's a temperature thing (even though it's been going on for weeks!) worth a shot I thought.

fluffikins · 18/01/2016 15:06

A friend of mine suggested to me today that I should stop feeding so near to bedtime - at the mo I feed, then pop her in a cot and sing a song, sometimes she's awake during the song, sometimes asleep. She said do the last feed an hour before bedtime, but my question is how on earth do you get them drowsy without a feed??

zombiemeow · 18/01/2016 15:33

I managed to do it fluff, it does make settling them a bit harder though. I give him his bottle then brush his teeth and let him stay up for half an hour or longer, then hold him and eventually sometimes with a big fight he goes to sleep. I found it did improve his sleeping but it seems like it was just a temporary improvement. When I started doing that was when he had the really good few nights. Hopefully it will improve again Hmm