Anyone on for another 4 month sleep regression hand-holding thread?!

[uppereastsidemom]

DD2 is 16 weeks and had been doing 7pm - woken up at 11.30ish for a feed - 5 or 6am. Happy days.

She is now waking up anytime between 7 and 10pm, going back down but reliably waking up for 2-3 hours between 3 and 6am. It is torture. I know this is a predictable phase that will pass, but christ it is miserable.

Waiting to see what tonight brings . I know there had been an active thread that seems to have died - hopefully meaning that all those babies are now sleeping beautifully

A better night for us! Woke at 10 and 3. I think there might have been a wake at 1 but I really cannot remember. Co-slept from the 10 o clock wake though. I"m not sure how I feel about co-sleeping. It's working as she sleeps better, but worried I'll create some habit for her when I really want her to be in a crib. gah.

Good news about your night fluffi!
I worry about that too, but i've decided that while he wants to feed every half hour-2 hours, I will make half hearted attempts to get him into the cot I between feeds, but will work on the cot properly once he's waking up only once or twice a night.

I think that's a good way of looking at things. I think I read too much online and end up in a baby whisperer paranoid mess in my head about what I should be doing

Are any of you managing to get other halves to do bedtime? We tried as we tend to do a bottle then she uses BF to sleep. Spectacular fail

I think it's easy to panic about so called bad habits (I do!). But when you think about it if we could just lay our babies down to sleep for 12 hrs in their cot we would be doing it!! So it's not a bad habit, we're just doing something that works... them when it's time for something new we'll replace that behaviour with a new behaviour. Babies love to learn and everything is an evolvement over time rather than a bad habit that's ingrained forever.
I'm totally panicking about my DS2 feed to sleep habit but I had a word to myself today and thought he's not going to be doing this in 2 yrs time so something will have to change. .. so easy to get sucked into googling tho!!

Yes yes yes starfish. That is right.

Ah the feed to sleep guilt! I think I'm over it now but then I'll randomly get worried about it again!

And no lilipot, Dh has never done a bedtime as dd refuses the bottle and now I do bedtime before he gets home anyway. He's also sleeping in a different room now - waiting out the chaos

Oh yes I know the feed to sleep guilt! But I honestly can't see a way round it. She won't drop off 'drowsy but awake'. Sometimes I think it's ok, we're just doing what we need to, but other times, like now, when we're both awake and tearful, I feel terribly guilty that I'm failing her. She's been awake since 11.45. Tried co sleeping but no joy. Took her downstairs and read for a while out of desperation. Now feeding her and hoping she'll sleep. I don't get it. She's been awake for ages, it's dark, she has her sleepy clothes on...what more does she what? I'm worried she's not recognising the difference between night and day. She'll be 5 months on Tuesday, and I can't believe she's still so shit at sleeping. I hear about these babies that do 12 hours, and I wonder where I went wrong??

DH helping at night not an option. Became she won't take a bottle. So he could take her between feeds but really, what's the point? I'd only be getting woken up. He might as well get rested for work.

Sorry for negative rant but I feel so low. It's going to be another exhausting day, plans cancelled cos we're both so tired,DD crying and miserable. Happy days.

Hi Purple
If it's any consolation we are in exactly the same boat. My DS is now 5 months... I've been up since 420am (yesterday 4am). The only way to get him back off at this time is to get up with him for an hr then put him in the carrier for his final bit of night sleep. I mean how fucked up is that?!

He also refuses a bottle (and is fucking allergic to milk anyway. DH decided to 'test' him again over the weekend and sure enough cue awful wind and vomiting)

Don't cancel your plans... plough on thru the tiredness as getting out and doing something normal even if it is thru bleary eyes is about the only thing that will keep you sane!!

Oh and you haven't done anything wrong. I've mentioned before my first son was sleeping 12 hrs and cot napping beautifully by now. I beat myself up for doing it all wrong this time but it honestly just shows they are all different.

They WILL get there in their own time. How did the room move go? I'm gonna start weaning this week.... he's starving!!

Thanks Starfish. Why are we being made to suffer like this??

I can't even get my head round how awful last night was. I've had an hour's sleep. When DH got up at 6, he didn't even offer to take her. I'm so furious at him, I actually hate him right now. I'm lying in bed crying, with DD beside me bloody cooing away. Why the fuck does she not need sleep??

I have no idea how you cope with two. And a dairy allergy!

We're doing the room move this weekend. Might try sleep training too. I'm desperate enough.

Meant to be going for a walk with a mum friend but can't face it - her baby (same age) has STTN from pretty much day 1, and doesn't she love to remind you of it! I can't bear to hear that today, at best I'll burst into tears, at worst I'll punch her! As for the class I was going to, can't bear to be around smiley happy mums and babies while my tired baby cries.

I hate this.

Sounds like a night and day to write off purple. Stay in and keep warm instead and eat chocolate. Shame we cant all meet up and be miserable together. Hahaha. I'm sorry you are having a crap time too. In fact I'm sorry for all of us, BUT they are sooooo worth it when their little faces light up when you smile at them.

Oh purple I really feel for you. I'm on my way out but read what an awful night you'd have and had to type a quick reply.

Stay in today if you can catch any sleep at all do it.

You will get through this.

Thanks for the suggestions fluffikins. I have been trying the pantley pull off recently. At first she got quite upset when I did it (and I thought 'no cry solution-really'?!) but got used to it fairly quickly. And now she will often take herself off before totally asleep. So I guess it's worked! Hasn't really reduced the no. of night wakings in my experience although I guess she could be waking up more if I hadn't tried it. I haven't tried a dummy as put off the thought of weaning her off it. Elizabeth pantley suggests extending naps by going to them as soon as they start waking up and feeding, rocking, whatever you need to do to get them to sleep. Apparently it takes about a week and they should then start sleeping longer. I've been trying with feeding her for first morning nap. So far no signs of going longer without needing a feed but I shall perservere. Someone on the forum posted that they did this using shush pat for all naps for a week and it worked for them so might give shush pat a go too.
Really sorry you've had a bad night purpleboa. I'm not sure if I read it in Sarah Ockwell Smith's book or blog but she said that the 4 and 5 month stage for all 4 of her babies were the absolute worst for sleep and she was miserable. So I know it's tough but I really think things will improve for you soon. Hang in there, you're amazing. And have a word with your DH about how you feel and make sure he steps up to give you a break when he's home and some sleep on days when he's not working.

I'm so bad with naps. She sleeps on me and is fed to sleep. I don't really know how to change this. Do people do nap routines? she's very unimpressed with shush pat attempts.

when she was little we always made the point of being noisy during naps with tv on. Then for some reason we were so paranoid about naps that we started being really quiet. Now we've worked out she naps better with the tv on!

Just tried sssh pat for her 2nd nap of the day and omg it seems to have worked. I should probably add that I haven't been brave enough to leave her on her own in her crib for a nap yet but I have started to lie her down on our bed between me and the crib for the first nap of the day instead of her sleeping on me. She's accepted it, probably because that's how we sleep at night. The long term plan is to slowly move her towards her crib, although by the time she gets there she'll probably be too big for it!

Worked for 7 mins until she started rooting then screaming for a feed!I guess 7 mins better then nothing.

maybe I should try it properly then and try not to be so scornful about the baby whisperer. I can't get my head around doing it with them on their side. Are you supposed to then flop them over onto their backs if it works?

DD is nearly 6 months and has outgrown her snuzpod. The larger cot won't fit in our room so I'm having to face the thought of trying to settle her all through the night soon. I can see me spending all night sleeping on the floor or in the chair in her nursery :(

Purple and for you. I have read that making sure they get plenty of daylight in early afternoon helps with day/night confusion. The weather isn't very conducive to it though.
My DD takes a bottle much better off me than DH, I did get him up this morning though as she was going berserk. We tried calpol as she has a cough. She did eventually go back to sleep.
I'm not sure if she's waking every sleep cycle just because or if a cough is waking her. Unavoidable really with a toddler and I'm needing her in nursery to allow me some rest on a couple of days a week! Plus she gets to see her little pals.

It is a really hard age this one. I had a proper meltdown at DH about how hard I am finding it. He tries and actually got a really fab bedtime routine with our eldest, it's just that both of ours have these LONG phases where only mummy and her boobs will do, and it's bloody exhausting!

We have started weaning too. Not made a bit of difference to sleep, it's only made her poo again in the night which she thinks is fab as she grins at me when I change the nappy. I find that less fab at 3am
But she is liking the food and sitting up with us at teatime.

Purple your friend will most likely be finding other aspects of parenting hard and just not telling you. I also think a lot of folk don't tell the whole truth about sleep.

I out the boy in the cot twice last night and it took a while for his noises turn to shrieks. I count this as progress. We still co slept, and he woke every half hour or so from 5am, and we were awake from 2, but he didn't hate the cot.
Little victories eh..

I've not read the baby whisperer fluffikins. I just improvised and patted her on her hip while she was lying on her back. Is there a specific technique then?

Hi All,

Can I join? My DS is now 23 weeks, and has been in a regression for about a month.
He is BF (boobs mornings, evenings, and weekends, and bottles of EBM during the day). A few weeks back, he was sleeping relatively well, waking up once during the night. A few nights, he didn't even feed - but this was making it more difficult for me to pump at work, as I felt I wasn't producing enough milk. So I was actually quite happy to go back to feeding once during the night.

However, we are now at a stage where he is waking 5-6 times per night. He goes down in his cot, but then ends up spending most of the night with us in the bed. Meaning that we get little or no sleep.
I am exhausted... in some ways I find it easier to just pop him on the boob and then he eats a bit and falls asleep. But I know that I can't keep on like this for much longer, as I am just sooo tired.

We have also started weaning a couple of days ago.

Any advice or suggestions would be much appreciated!!

(I will also read back through the thread to get some ideas)

Thanks

I think weaning is linked to wakefulness isn't it? As their bellies suddenly have to deal with lots of different foods.

I'm very tentatively thinking things have got better here after about 6-7 weeks. She's napping more again and not waking up as she has been 20 mins after I put her down and is 'only' waking up at 10, 1 and 3. If I could knock the 3am feed on try head is be ecstatic. However she's co sleeping all night and not sure how much of it is due to that. I really want her to sleep in her cot so going to try that tonight and hope it doesn't ruin the progress!

The no cry sleep solution suggests having a deadline - baby stays in cot until x time then you bring them in with you. Moving the time later and later. Means you make progress with the cot but hopefully don't have a week of no sleep at all!

DD is 6m now and hasn't slept for more than 2 hours since the beginning of Sept. Except last week when she had a 4 hour morning nap, just to prove she could do it if she wanted to. How I laughed

How is everyone?
Went to a bf counsellor Thursday who suggested a shallow latch might be accounting for the frequent night wakings. So we're trying to improve e that.

Someone hold me. I don't know if I have the worlds most difficult baby or its a 4 month thing.

Baby always woke up 2-4 times a night... fine as he's breast fed but its become 4 times a night consistently. What's weird is his bottom burps are endless and two of those wake ups are him crying to fart. Its killing us all :-(

As for napping... gah. Maybe 20 mins morning, midday and afternoon. So an hour in total. Again the farting wakes him.

Will this ever end. Ever :-(