CC - please share your experiences!

[ToonLass]

If you have done CC could you please share your experiences - good and bad.

I don't want this to be a debate - I understand why people are really against it but I also understand how it feels to be utterly desperate.

Bump and following. I too am utterly desperate and considering something I always said I could never do, CC. Be interesting to hear peoples experiences.....

I've just started doing it with my 9 weeks old....I've been absolutely slammed for it, because she is apparently "way too young for any kind of sleep training" ...."If she is crying then she needs you" - No she doesn't. I feed her (she usually take between 4 and 5oz of formula), change her nappy, wind her, settle her in a dark room, with some white noise and ewan the dream sheep. Baby monitor on. Leave the room. The first time she kicks off, leave her to cry for 1 minute, then go back in, dummy back in, a bit of shushing, leave the room. The next time she kicks off, leave her for 2 minutes. Go back in. Dummy in. Leave the room. Next time, leave her to cry for 3 minutes etc. Keep going, adding a minute each time until she gives up the ghost, realises that mummy isn't going to pick her up and goes to sleep. People say that at 9 weeks old she "can't learn bad habits"...well let me tell you, she most definitely can!! She will scream her little lungs out, and then as if by magic, the moment she gets picked up: silence. She knows that if she makes enough noise, someone will pick her up!....Well not anymore princess!! I've never had to get past 4 minutes so far!

Done it when ds was 8 months old. He had not slept through once for more than a 4 hour stretch. Took 3 nights , it worked ! He was ready for it I think...

We still hAve some bad times due to illness or teething of course. ...

My dd is nearly 1 and currently lying screaming in her cot as I'm trying cc for the first time. I'm not desperate but want her to know how to fall asleep ready for when I go back to work. I'm feeling dreadful listening to her cry. Is this really ok?

We've been going for over an hour now with me going in to calm her down every 5 mins or so. She's still crying. I really don't like this. I'm only doing it so when the gp's look after her she goes to sleep easily. (I hope). As they pull faces about me rocking her to sleep. This feels so cruel though.

Well they say for nap times if it doesn't work after half hour then give up and forget about that nap. I'd do that-maybe she's not tired enough? Give lunch then try again? I know it's unbearable -it did it with mine at around 8 months and it took around 1 hour crying (at night) and that was it. We've occasionally had to repeat after periods of illness.

Its a while ago but I did it with mine at about 6 months, it worked in three nights with both of them. DD went from waking twice to sleeping through 7.30 to 5.30. Ds went from horrendous multiple waking, screaming, constant feeding to again mainly sleeping through. Its saved my sanity and probably my marriage, I have read more about attachment parenting since and have worried occasionally if I was a little harsh but I do have two happy well adjusted pre teens and I am still married!

ShipShape if you don't like doing it then don't. There are other ways, maybe have a read of the no cry sleep solution if you'd prefer to use gentler methods. These methods generally take longer to implement and aren't a quick fix like CC, but are easier on the parent as child. Why distress yourselves if there is another way?

As for sleep training a nine week old, even advocates of CC don't recommend this. Sometimes a small baby cries for no other reason than they want a cuddle. Nothing wrong with that, they are barely out of the womb.

And actually cloudy after rereading your post, you sound like you are enjoying being cruel to your baby. You are disgusting.

I did it when my baby was 1yo and i was desperate. It was heartbreaking but now my dc is a good sleeper and i have no doubt that it was the right thing to do.

ShipShapeAhoy I was like you at first...couldn't bare to hear dd cry, and would go in and pick her up everytime....but she learned that if she makes enough noise, I would go and pick her up! The first few times is the hardest, but now I have no trouble leaving he for a few minute intervals before going in and settling her. This morning, she feel asleep around 10:40 after a 5 ounce feed, a few gigantic burps and a massive poo, slept for 20 minutes, then woke up screaming. I went upstairs to check on her. She wasn't hungry, nappy was dry and empty, her temperature was fine, so I plopped her dummy in and left. Cue the full on horror film screaming! Just to make sure I wasn't missing something, I picked her up, and she instantly fell silent. And guess what? She's still screaming her head off now. Every time I think "oh maybe there is actually something wrong" and pick her up, she falls silent. I tried letting her sleep on my chest, but she is trying to lift her head up and look around - eyes red, she's yawning and rubbing her ears, she just won't give up the ghost!! It's as if she's scared she will miss something if she goes to sleep! Driving me insane. I'm actually starting to not want to be anywhere near her. I'm so sleep deprived, I function like a zombie everyday. I'm up most nights 3 or 4 times for at least an hour and half at a time with her screaming. She's at the point now where she's so overtired that she doesn;t want to be picked up, she doesnt want to be put down. At the end of my tether, and CC is the only solution I can see. I've exhausted every other sleep method.

OMG. "and then as if by magic, the moment she gets picked up: silence. She knows that if she makes enough noise, someone will pick her up!....Well not anymore princess!! I've never had to get past 4 minutes so far!"

cloudy you do know that babies need to feel loved and comforted, not just fed and clean. You are not dealing with an unruly employee fgs. Shocking.

Babies as young as cloud's dc need the affirmation to develop a strong emotional bond which underpins all future learning, not just social skills but all learning. What cloud indicates in her post is cruel, outdated and unnecessary.

A strong emotional bond is fostered by baby learning that its needs (emotional and physical needs) are met and that baby is loved. if you ignore a crying (young) baby, it will give up an learn that it doesn't matter. Not what any loving parent would want for their dc, surely?

More evidence-based info:

www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/building_a_happy_baby.pdf

www.unicef.org.uk/Documents/Baby_Friendly/Leaflets/caringatnight_web.pdf

When every other method suggested by a sleep expert has been exhausted what do you suggest then? Dryingmylaundryoutside - DD cannot be held all day everyday. I'm well aware that "baby's need affirmation to develop a strong emotional bond" - but I am also aware than babies are not stupid, and learn very quickly what gets them attention. She needs to sleep. She is chronically overtired. I will use any method necessary to make her sleep.
That does not make me a bad parent, as your post seems to suggest.

Just in case cloud can't be bothered to click the links above:

Evidence shows that:
??MYTH:
Babies become spoilt and demanding if they are given too much attention.
REALITY:
When babies’ needs for love and comfort are met, they will be calmer and grow up to be more confident.
This is promoted by midwives. cloud it sounds like you need help with your parenting in the nicest possible way. I do hope you baby gets lots of cuddles during the rest of the day, when you are not trying to get her to sleep. Maybe you should contact your health visitor for some help with the sleeping. Best of luck to your dc.

Cloud We all make mistakes when parenting, I know I do. However, what you describe is not good and I understand that you feel at your wits end, i'm sorry you are going through that. But letting your lovely dc cry it out at that age will cretae problems further down the line. I am not a 'fancy' parent and pretty down to earth but research tells us that it is better to comfort a crying (young) baby. As I said, could you contact your health visitor?

CloudyWithAChanceOfInsanity

9 short weeks ago your baby was inside you.

She didn't have any concept of hunger. She didn't know what it felt like not to feel secure, nurtured, comforted. She was never hungry or thirst. She didn't have any understanding of a single need not being met. You met every need she had 9 weeks ago when she was inside you.

Your 9 week old is in the fourth trimester.

She is not independent and cannot be independent.

Your delight in the cruelty to your 9 week old newborn is disturbing.

I should add for ToonLass though - that comparisons and discussions regarding CC in an 8 month old and a 9 week old are very, very different discussions. It would seem that your thread is being de-railed because while there is a debate to be had in using CC at 8 months, there really is no debate to be had at 9 weeks old.

Well I always picked my baby up when he cried. For daytime naps he slept on me in a sling for the first six months of his life, and at night we co slept. Apart from a very small blip around four month regression time he has slept very well and still does now at 13 months taking all naps in his cot and sleeping through the night in his
Cot too. Go figure.

fate you put it across much better than me I hope cloud takes notice.

Cloudy-put her in a sling in the day..she clearly wants to be with you and that's normal..you can then carry on with your activities and she can sleep when she wants. If she's less over tired she should sleep better at night. She stops when you pick her up because she wants to be near you..also it might indicate stomach problems if she's not happy lying down ..the first 6 months are about sacrifice everything for babies needs..not about you

Well thank you for your input oh mighty perfect parents. Thank you for making me feel even more like crap, and even more of a failure than I already do.

• and just for the record DD is not left to cry for hours on end as you all seem to think. I leave her for a few minutes at most. Like I said up thread - I have never got past 4 minutes before she sleeps. We co-sleep at night, have lots of playtime together when she is awake, she is fed, clothed and loved.... so she is hardly the victim of "cruelty" as you so dramatically put it! Like I said before, I have already been slammed for using CC - but after shelling out a small fortune for help from a sleep consultant that did not help at all, it is my last resort! And is working.

She also does spend time in a sling, but tires of it very quickly. I can usually get maybe 2 or 3 items of clothing ironed before she kicks off and wants out. She will only sleep of her tummy - we tried putting her on her back like all the guidelines suggest but she wasn't sleeping at all - I'm talking, waking every 15 mins...so sleep consultant and HV suggested putting her on her tummy. Now, after 3 minutes being left to cry, dummy in, a quick cuddle...she is sound asleep.

To be honest I don't understand why you felt the need for a sleep consultant when your baby is 9 weeks old. Young babies wake a lot, that is normal. Instead of seeing it as something you need to fix just go with it and be there for your baby. The fact that she only wants to to sleep on her tummy and screams otherwise could be an indication of reflux though, so you should get that checked out by your GP.

I haven't claimed to be perfect, I've made plenty of mistakes believe me. My son is my second child and It's been a steep learning curve, I regret some of the ways I parented my first so have done things differently this time around.

Also, stop bloody ironing! You have a nine week old, everything else goes on hold for the first few months otherwise you will run yourself into the ground.

cloudy I think your baby has wind. If she is doing that full-on horror screaming thing - that's often wind.

Took me a lot longer than 9 weeks to figure that out with my dd2 :(