CC - please share your experiences!

[ToonLass]

If you have done CC could you please share your experiences - good and bad.

I don't want this to be a debate - I understand why people are really against it but I also understand how it feels to be utterly desperate.

She does have reflux - she's on medication for it which has helped a lot. I totally get that at this age babies wake a lot - and when she's hungry, I feed her. When she's wet/dirty, I change her etc. But when it comes down to her showing all the tell-tale tired signs she just fights sleep!! That's why I tried a sleep consultant. She told me that my baby is chronically over-tired, and is in "sleep debt" so needs to catch up on all the sleep she has missed out on.
Sorry for getting snippy and making the "perfect parent" remark...I literally don't know what else to do. I've exhausted every method going and nothing works I feel guilty waking DH in the night to see to her, because he has to go to work and I don't - but I think I really need some help.

I'm sorry too for being so harsh on you, it was just that your first post sounded so gleeful, but I can now see you are under tremendous pressure and need some help. What is she on for the reflux? I have no direct experience of it but have read many a post on here during my night feeding times to know that you sometimes have to try other medications and really push your GP for the big guns stuff. Might be an idea to put a post out on the subject of reflux, see if you can get some advice from someone who has been through it.

Thanks for sharing Cloudy.
I think I have always done a bit of cc- never rushed in always calmed down without picking up and I have a really good sleeper. She is a really happy baby, I'm a really happy mum and I'm not concerned about our emotional well being.

And what sling are you using? Can sometimes be trial and error to find one that you and baby find comfortable. I'd recommend finding a local sling library so you can get some pointers here as with the reflux wearing her upright as much as possible will help so persevering with a sling should make things easier.

She's on baby Gaviscon - that's all the GP will prescribe, and it seems to be doing the job.

I'm most definitely not gleeful about it at all - it breaks my heart to hear her really going for it, but its the only thing that works. More often than not, I end up crying along with her because I can't see an end to this vicious cycle.
I need to get this sorted soon DH is in the armed forces, and is going away for 4 months soon. I'm terrified of doing this by myself.

I did click the link to read the info but it's advice- I can't see any link to the evidence.

Oh cloudy, the rule book goes out the window for reflux babies. Believe me. DD2 was/is a reflux baby and it's just totally different. Nine weeks was hell on earth! GP advised me to only medicate if it got really bad, and I was so much in a fog I couldn't tell whether it was really bad or not, so never medicated apart from the odd Gaviscon...but I should have. So do push for a closer examination.

Fuck the ironing and get your dd into a wrap sling ASAP. Yes, you may need to walk a lot and jiggle a lot and drop everything else, but it will work. Swaddle her if you need a break and want to lie her down, that can help, and the dummy should help too eventually.

Just saw your last post. It WILL get better. Babies grow out of reflux eventually even with no meds, so it's just a matter of surviving until she's a few months older. You're in the hardest bit right now. How does she get on in a moving pram?

Greenstone I only put Gaviscon in her bottles if she's having a particularly "sicky" day, and it works a dream.
The sling I've got is a wrap-type one, and she is quite happy in there when we are out and about, just not in the house for some reason!!

I know you say the gaviscon is working but if she's still screaming so much perhaps she is still in pain and you need to go back to the GP and really push for them to try something else. I'm no expert on reflux though I'm afraid, maybe do an advanced search of the site to see if you can find any tips/advice.

Good advise from Greenstone. I'd only add that frequent, smaller bottles are better than large quantities less often. Especially for reflux babies.

Go for 2 hourly feeding through the daytime, however much baby comfortably wants at those two hourly feeds. Rather than bigger bottles every 3 or 4 hours.

Over-feeding with big quantities can make posseting (bringing up milk) more likely, which is painful for a baby with reflux.

Yes, I actually found Gaviscon to work pretty well too, though for a lot of babies it's not enough. I just couldn't be fucked using it every single time because I was breastfeeding and had to syringe it in, couldn't put it in the bottles.

Are you using normal formula?

Look, 9 weeks is so hard even without reflux. For some reason babies are much better outside than in the house, so do try to just close the door behind you even if the house is a kip and get out. It doesn't matter!
I am also a huge believer in pram naps for little babies, because at least that way you can feel a bit more human and can safely sit and drink a coffee while jiggling the wheel with your foot.

To answer the OP, we initially used the No Cry Sleep Solution at 7 months. It didn't fully work for us but I did really like the way it helped us build a peaceful bedtime routine that was the same every night. It helped my DD understand that bedtime was imminent.

This method didn't solve the settling herself problem so we tried CC. We did the routine and put her in the cot awake. We left her for 4 mins then 5 mins etc. It was really hard the first three nights but then she got it. I'd definitely recommend trying No Cry method first as it sets the scene for bedtime really well and hopefully it'll work for you as it is.

We've had blips here and there due to teething and colds etc but on the whole it's been a success. She's now 19 months and goes down in her cot awake and happy and sleeps 12 hours a night. I never thought we'd get to this stage.

CC isn't for everyone...I completely get that but it did work for us. DD is a content and secure toddler and 8 would use the method again if necessary for her future siblings!

CC worked wonders for me when DS was 9 months. I paid to have a consultation with a sleep advice so we could discuss in great deal all the problems I was having with DS and she came up with a very regimented bedtime routine (made a lot of changes to what I was already doing) and I followed her instructions to the letter.

Prior to doing CC I was surviving on 4-5 hours broken sleep a night, DS didn't nap in the day, would only be fed to sleep at night and would wake up at least three times overnight. He could never self settle, it was just a case of continually feeding him in the hope he'd fall asleep. Sometimes he'd be awake for over 2 hours at a time

My life was hell and I spent many days and nights in absolute tears because of how frustrated and exhausted I was. It also got to the point where I started resenting DS and not enjoying him

Within 3 nights of following the specialist's instructions DS was sleeping 7.30-6am and having two regular naps a day.

He went from having maybe 10-11 hours sleep in a 24 hour period to then having at least 14. There was a huge improvement in his behaviour and demeanour because he was no longer exhausted and I finally started enjoying him again.

The Specialist did say to me that she wouldn't recommend CC to anyone whose baby was under 8 months though and that there were far more appropriate techniques for younger babies.

How old is yours?

Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences.

DD is 8 months old and has never been a good sleeper. Over last 2 months it is getting gradually worse. She feeds a lot during the night as it's the only way to get her to sleep.

I'm tired, I'm sore and I'm fed up.

I've tried other more gentle approaches but DD just gets so worked up. She doesn't want picked up, doesn't want put down, she won't take a dummy etc etc.

I never wanted to do CC, although my sister did it with both of hers at 6months and they have been amazing sleepers since.

We both need sleep though, we are both grumpy during the day and my patience is dwindling. I'm back at work soon too and I'm terrified.

I'm still not ready to do it,if that's the route I go down, but something is going to have to change soon!!

Toon, hope you don't mind but I've pm'd you

Nine WEEKS? A sleep consultant at nine weeks? That is fucking awful. At this point your baby needs a cuddle - yes, she might be dry, fed etc but she's still adjusting to life outside the womb and is probably wanting human contact.

I am not perfect, I have nothing against cc and have done it myself but nine weeks is way too early.

Agreed, I came on here to sing the praises of cc but I suppose that's the problem - it is latched onto and half understood, then used incorrectly and results in a poor 9 week old being left to scream.

I never thought of it as cc - I was just clear that I was not going to be up and down all night seeing to a one year old who was warm, fed and dry.

I hovered, went in if it was blood curdling and otherwise left her to get on with it. Luckily it worked and was fairly pain free. I now have a two year old who happily sleeps all night and stays in bed on her own.

Of course some children will be more difficult to settle, but going into them at every murmur isn't the way forward (once older).

Agreed, I came on here to sing the praises of cc but I suppose that's the problem - it is latched onto and half understood, then used incorrectly and results in a poor 9 week old being left to scream.

I never thought of it as cc - I was just clear that I was not going to be up and down all night seeing to a one year old who was warm, fed and dry.

I hovered, went in if it was blood curdling and otherwise left her to get on with it. Luckily it worked and was fairly pain free. I now have a two year old who happily sleeps all night and stays in bed on her own.

Of course some children will be more difficult to settle, but going into them at every murmur isn't the way forward (once older).

toon - I know what it's like to feel 'not ready' to do CC and I think it's something that can only really work if the parents have that moment where they think "Enough is enough!"

I remember my 'moment' hit when DS had been awake from 2-5am one night and absolutely nothing I did would get him back to sleep. I started crying desperately because I was so, so tired and my DH came into us (he was in the spare room) and I thrust DS into his arms and screamed something along the lines of, "Just take him away from me, I don't want to be anywhere near him anymore, I've had enough of him!" amongst my tears and then I ran out the room. I kept crying and saying, "I just can't do this anymore," over and over again. My DH eventually managed to soothe DS and when he came to look for me he found me curled up in a ball on the floor of the nursery in an absolute emotional mess.

That was our breaking point because I just physically and mentally couldn't cope anymore.

If you ever do decide the time is right then feel free to PM me and I can share with you done of the advice that the Sleep Consultant told me

Thanks writer.

During the night I often feel ready for it, but many morning I have a new sense of positivity! That is going to run out (soon) I think.

Hi Cloudy, my baby had reflux and it really is a nightmare. Reflux babies prefere being upright or with their head slightly elevated when laid down....maybe that's why she stops crying when picked up? Also, my dd used to take 6oz bottles, which th Dr said was too much, sometimes babies eat thru the pain. It's really difficult trying to get to know ur babys needs when they have reflux. Please don't just think it's a pointless kick off session from ur baby. I certainly did things wrong in the beginning (and am still doing so!) best advice I found helped was to change to Dr brown bottles, so wind wasn't a problem on top of reflux, prop one end of her cot up so her head is higher, try keeping her upright for half an hour after feeds...and plenty of kisses and cuddles to ease the pain!! U can always sleep train in a few months time. Im not underestimating how sleep deprived u are at all, it's the hardest thing I've ever been thru, and I have my sympathy. Good news is dd was much better around 5/6 months old. Best wishes

Watching for help with my baby, as she's still not sleeping!

Toon I feel just like that - desperate in the night when DD (8 months) wakes for the ninth or tenth time when I think "right, that's it, CC!" then in the morning feel weirdly ok and more optimistic that things will get better on their own. We had a sleep consultant booked but postponed as I just don't feel ready. I need to get her in her own room first. I managed to get her out of my bed and into her cot which at one point I feared might never happen!

My concerns are around hyperventilating and vomiting if she puts up a big fight (she's pretty wilful...). And will she become more clingy in the day? Do you have to go through it all again if they have a teething/illness set back? If anyone can shed light I'd be really grateful.

Also I only seem to hear people saying "it was tough but it worked for us", not from those where it didn't work - or does it work every time if you are committed to going through with it?

My DD is also very wilful and that's my concern. Going in to check on her, but having no contact, will not settle her. If anything it'll make it worse!