4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

sycamore that's great! I would consider that a brilliant night! Hope it lasts for you.

Wishing restful nights all round

Hi all, checking in with mixed news!

So last Friday I had a horrendous horrendous time settling her and we decided that night to do No Cry Sleep Solution.

We thought there are two main issues : settling her and the hourly night wakings!

We decided to try working on the settling her first, and, for the most part....success!! I was really militant about naps, didn't care how or where she got them as long as she did. So I've been marching the streets of my hilly town with the buggy in this heat every day! Also instituted a proper bedtime routine and every night so far (bar tonight) she has gone down easily with no crying.

Yay!

But....the night wakings continue to be AWFUL. So we are working on those from tonight. So far.... ARGH!!!

NCSS reckons you can train a baby out of wanting to feed to sleep all the time, which is what DD does- wakes for milk. You're supposed to gently remove the nipple from their mouth right before they go to sleep and then put in cot awake but on the verge of sleep.

Tried it and went down like a bloody lead balloon! Had to feed again three times to calm her! Got there in the end but feel like I've blown a hole in our lovely new bedtime routine.

Oh well. I am going to persist with it and also no more taking her into our bed. Which we have been doing just to get some rest. I'll feed her but then it's back to her bed and no lying there with nipple in mouth. Time to get tough!! [serious face]

Hi revoltingpeasant! Glad to hear about your good news, not so much the shitty nights!

DD doesn't feed to sleep any more hasn't done for a while and takes quite a while to put her down now. I know it's what she needs to do- to learn to fall asleep without the bottle but when she just won't fall asleep I'm like 'c'mon!!'.

Is she genuinely hungry? Last week and the week before DD woke pretty much hourly for a feed but she really was hungry, it seems she was going through a growth spurt as she's now feeding far less.

Thanks so much hazel I really appreciate the kind words! I do feel like a weight's been lifted now I know DD is doing ok despite it feeling like she never sleeps!

Yeah like you said, you actually get used to the crap sleep, I think it was the anxiety over DD that was the main problem.
I really felt like I wasn't providing her with the right conditions or opportunities to get enough rest...sounds a bit ridic now I guess.
And I've caught up on sleep a bit as DH had a couple of days off, what a difference!

I'm carrying on with bedtime routine, cos that seems to make sense for us all, and just being led by DD the rest of the time.

I do feel there's light at the end of the tunnel (even if that is only at 6mo, in the form of solids!)
Completely agree about the growth spurts, so much to learn in a short time, grasping and rolling etc, looks exhausting doesn't it.

Sooo glad to hear you've had a couple of good nights, longer naps are very encouraging, and a 4h chunk of real actual sleep is bloody brilliant!!

Thanks sycamore too, yeah it's good to get reassurance isn't it, sometimes feels like everyone else's baby is sleeping for hours ha!
Sounds like you had a pretty good night there, that's 2 wake-ups?!! Yay!

Go RP it sounds like you're on the way to cracking it, good luck with the night wakings tonight, I admire your perseverance!

it sounds like you're doing all the right things and unfortunately DD just has to work her way out of it.

Yes, what a difference it makes when your DP takes some time off! I've found this too!

DD was awake after just under 3 hours last night and took 8.5oz! then was awake another 4 times. Far from ideal but that's half the amount she woke up a week ago!!! Was quite hot in our room again last night.

Hope everyone had a good night

Hazel , hope you had a lovely day out ? Sorry to hear you had a rough night !
Well I think I spoke to soon . DD was up about 4 times last night ! I was feeling so much better but now ache with tiredness again . I bumped into a mum I know yesterday , she has three girls and her youngest dd us 12 weeks , she said the sleep always got better at six months with her girls ! Fingers crossed eh x

Hi sycamore, we had a wonderful day yesterday thankyou! My mum really enjoyed herself. Roof top hot tub, 2 hour top to toe massage, birthday cake and takeaway it was bliss! I felt like they fixed my body after feeling like it was falling apart! After getting home and trying to put DD to sleep I soon felt back to falling apart haha. It was so nice to get a break.

sorry to hear you had a rubbish night. I've now heard several people say how bad last night was for them even when their LOs have been sleeping better lately I was reading yesterday how a parent with 5 kids said their children all slept better at 6 months.

Isn't it strange how we all have girls?!

Hope you manage to get some rest today.

Oh that sounds lovely Havel , you totally deserved it!
I think by six months they can comfortably cope with not having night feeds and are able to go through for six hours .
Yes it is funny we all girls :-) my ds is now singing to himself and dd is having her first nap of the day ! That's always an indication of how bad the night was !
Need to go concealer shopping today as my dark circles are getting worse , oh joy !
Have a lovely day xx

Sorry I meant to say he sings when he wakes up ....

Thankyou

Aww that's adorable! Happy chappy. DD is on her first nap too, we're off for a long walk in the woods today and hopefully for a little paddle in the stream. Let's get the coffee out and have a good day!

Will check in later

Evening all,

Hope everyone has had a good day.

We walked for miles in the woods with DD in the baby bjorn which she hasn't been in since she was a few weeks old. She loved it as she was front-facing and saw the world from a new perspective! She was awake 2 hours as she was too interested in her surroundings to doze!

She had a 30 min nap at home, followed by a 1.5 hour at home, then 30 mins in the car and 1.5 hours in the car...amazing!! She's been mega hungry today and has had 3 mini meals with all of her bottles and a 8.5oz for bedtime. I've put her to bed with no white noise as I forgot to put it on so she's gone cold turkey I'm a little scared for the implications of her usual loud noise machine!

Hazel -sounds like you have had a lovely day . I will try dd forward facing , she doesn't seem to like the inward facing anymore. I imagine she loved being in the woods , so relaxing.
DD didn't do badly re naps today . She had a good one on the way to a friends BBQ , managed to stay there for two hours until she needed her next nap .
Weirdly , I didn't feel tired at all today , I wonder if I am just getting use to poor quality sleep ?
Hope everyone has a good night today !

Good night . I can't type , maybe I am very tired after all !

Hahaha! Sounds like you've had a great day too. Great day for a bbq!

I didn't think DD would support herself enough to be forward facing but she was absolutely fine and loved it. Yeah maybe give that a go, she might love it too.

I know what you mean about the sleep- some days I think oh my god I've only had 2 hours sleep how am I so perky?! Hope you can still get a good night, I'm sure that would do you the world of good!

Hey, not checked in for a couple days, have been so ridiculously busy!
Whereismy - sorry to hear you had a bad time recently. I can totally relate. You just feel like your doing something wrong hey? As your HV said, the short naps are fine, some babies are just cap nappers. My DD is a classic example, and has only just (at nearly 6 months) started taking longer naps!
I'm all for doing whatever it takes to get baby to sleep at the moment, whether it be rocking, feeding, or taking an hour long walk! It will all fall into place eventually and your DD will find her own. You are doing great. Remember it.

RP - well done on the NCSS! I'm not entirely sure on the principles as I havent read the book, but I have heard good things about it. I do think a lot of it is about persistence - once you decide how you want things to be, you have to follow it through. Unfortunately that is so hard to do! And I admit, I havent been successful! Hows the NCSS been the last couple days?

Sycamore - it sounds like things are on the up! Again, dont stress on the naps, I know they say sleep begets sleep, but you cant force it! and there certainly isnt any point wasting anymore energy on worrying about it. I would just try to keep the bedtime routine up.

Hazel! - how lovely that your DD was so engaged in the woods! sounds incredibly sweet. They take in so much dont they? Im not surprised she didnt sleep! It too sounds like things have been a little better for you? Less night wakings is always a winner. Your spa day sounded lush. As the girls said, you totally deserved some you time. When you mentioned about feeling "fixed" I giggled, thats exactly how I feel when I have some time alone, its nice to feel like you again isnt it.

Well, things have improved again, slightly.. past 2 nights, less wakings again and she is getting really good at self soothing during the night. However at 3am onwards she struggles, so I have to rock or co sleep from then. But she has been going through til 6am. Last night though, bloody hell did you hear that thunderstorm? Everyone slept through it in our house bar me.. I had just fed DD and she drifted off then I heard the most horrendous crash and saw about a million flashes! It kept me up as I was petrified for over an hour! lol. Then DD woke as it stopped.....typical!

Today, DH surprised us with some tickets to a festival- it was so nice to be out and not be thinking about bed time.. I forgot about it all and felt so refreshed when we got home.

Sycamore - do we get used to bad sleep? YES definitely. Where before kids I needed a solid 8 hours.. now I can get by on half that!!

Hope the nights good for you ladies x

Also, DD was in bed at 6.30 tonight as she was so shattered from the day out. She didnt take much milk before bed and has already stirred twice, but gone straight back off with a couple pats. Im getting really unsure on how much she should be drinking through the night now. Does 2 bottles seem a lot through the night at 6 months (almost)

So last night was shit..... utter shit. DD woke multiple times before I went to bed. She fed an hour before I got into bed so I thought id atleast get abit of sleep.... nope... she woke again soon after and was
reluctant to go back off. By this point I was
already shattered. So once again she ended up squeezed into bed with me - and still woke 3 times. I couldn't tell you times as I stopped clock checking at midnight.
Ive had enough, 2 months of utter crap sleep now and im beyond exhausted. Something has to change :(

mariloulou I'm sorry you had such a shitty night once DD is 6 months could you not try something then?

We had a bit of a crappy night. luckily DD gad a full 4 hours before her first wake up which was lovely. however she then woke another 4 hours after. Despite the fan being on her and sleeping in a vest she was still hot. I still think this heat isn't helping!

Yes hazel I need to try something but unsure what? I feel like ive given it enough time to see if it sorts itself and its clearly not. Her sleep is so up and down it actually feels worse being teased with a good night then a horrifically bad one! Im sorting out her room this week in the hope to have her in it next week. Not sure if its a good thing but have to try something! The more I think about it, I really don't want to do CC... what would you try ?

4 hours uninterrupted sleep sounds amazing! Id be lucky enough to get that if I went to bed when she does! She sleeps well for the first part of the night, the 2nd part is usually worse. Yep its still very hot, our room was 28c again last night xx

Wow I imagine that wouldn't have helped her. Could you not try something once it's cooled down a little bit? it could be simply because of the heat, and whatever sleep technique you try now might not be as effective as you'd like as DD might not settle still due to the heat. I totally sympathise though that you want to try something, I would too by now if I was you. Type in to Google 'Barts Health sleep training techniques' then click on the pdf which I think is the first result. It's a PowerPoint on different sleep training techniques and could help you to decide which is most suitable for your DD and yourself.

I wish we went to bed the same time as DD last night but 6:30 just seems too early haha.

We too are getting DD's room ready to move her in to there and she's younger than your DD. I feel she's ready though and it may help her sleep is she's not disturbed by us constantly turning in bed!

Another shit night here ! Just as I was in a nice sleep she woke up ! She slept well from 730pm until 11pm and then it all went wrong. To be honest I am not expecting it to get better until I do some sort of sleep training and she doesn't need night feeds. I read sleep training doesn't work before six months as they don't get what we are asking them to do. When we disappear they literally think we are never going to come back :-( the dummy will have to go too as that is causing more wake ups. She napped well yesterday so I don't think it's over tiredness. The room was much cooler last night . I know cc is not everyone's cup of tea but I think going in every 2-5 mins is fine at six months. Totally sorted out my ds sleep and he was so contented once sleeping through . Remember we are doing if for them too ! Have a good day xx

Think you may be right about cc sycamore, I dont want to do it but I wont rule it out. I guess I need more insight on how to go about it. When I start something I want to be fully comfortable so I persist with it!
how did you do it with your ds? How long did it take?

I feel weird joining this thread at this stage, but I wanted to try to give some hope to some of you. I've posted on other threads about my DS's awful sleep regression, and how it drove me to feel almost suicidal with sleep deprivation between four and six months. The week he turned six months, someone gave me some really good advice about sleep training, which we took, and it literally changed saved my life.

After months of him waking every hour and taking at least 45 minutes or rocking and feeding to resettle, I was basically at the end of my tether. I'd always sworn I wouldn't do any kind of controlled crying, but we dcided we'd have to try it. It took one night. One night - and by one night, I mean he cried for 25 minutes in total with us going in every few minutes, then he slept for ten hours without a murmur. He's now 7.5 months and he's slept through every night since then. He goes down by 7.30pm and gets us up by 5.30am but that's it. Very occasionally we hear a squeak but we never have to go in to him, he just resettles. He cries when hes getting into his pjs after his bath, but then he calms whole we read his story, and then goes down without a murmur. He has two or three naps a day, and usually grizzles for five minutes after we put him down in his cot, then sleeps for about an hour each time.

I know some of you won't want to do cc, and I get all the arguments against it. And it isn't recommended for babies younger than six months. But it took 25 minutes of crying for us, one night, and now he sleeps through, and I no longer want to die. Those of you thinking of trying it, I'd be happy to answer any questions you have. Good luck ladies, I really hope you have good nights tonight I hope I don't see,s smug, I just want to say there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Mariloulou - which ever method you choose I think you have to be consistant . We did it for every wake up during the night and bedtime . It took three nights and he was sleeping from 6 pm until 6am. It was so hard hearing him cry and not be able to pick him up but it was def worth it . I felt so desperate as i had got to breaking point with sleep deprivation and rubbish naps . He was also very grumpy ! I gave him a comforter when he started and he used this to self settle by cuddling it !
Starling - thank you for your message , time is really helpful . I am so pleased all is well. I totally get why people end up suicidal as sleep deprivation can cause depression. Sleep consultants say when parents approach them they are usually depressed and desperate and it really shouldn't get to that point .