4 month sleep regression- oh.my.god.

[hazel88]

So my DD has just hit the 4 month sleep regression hard. It sucks. It really sucks. for a short while she had been doing 6 hour chunks for the first part of the night followed by 1 or 2 wakings after. On the rare occasion she would just wake up once for a feed then that was it. BLISS. She's now waking up more times than I can count and I'm wondering if she'll ever sleep better again. I know about the 4 month sleep regression inside-out but would really appreciate experiences from others who have either gone through it or are going through it. I need some sanity restored...please?!

Sycamore, so glad to hear you've seen an improvement. What a shame you haven't managed to managed to make the most of it yet though! Is it likely you can have an early night at all?

Mariloulou that must be so frustrating after its been so much better for a while. I actually find it harder sometimes if you've had a good night for it to be followed by a shitty one! That does just sound like a blip to me. When you consider how difficult your LO found it before to suddenly sleeping so well I would expect the odd crappy night at the moment. I imagine this heat isn't helping. I'd try not to get too down about it and just keep doing whatever you have been. it'll come right again soon.

And yes she did go back to sleep until 11.30. She's not interested in her first bottle today, it's one extreme to the next with feeding!

That is so true Hazel , the nights ( before the regression ) when dd skier from 11-6am I would feel like a zombie.
I really need to get dd in her cot for naps. Ds keeps waking her up ! Argh!!! Currently rocking in car seat ... ....

I'd definitely recommend going with the naps in the cot. Then she knows THIS is the place for sleep.

Well. I was just reading an old thread about the regression and someone suggested gently encouraging self-settling if possible. I'm against forcing DD to self-settle as, in my eyes, she's too tiny and just needs Mummy or Daddy during this tough time for her. But she explained how shush/pat worked well for her LO. I was really skeptical as my 17lb DD has ALWAYS wanted to be rocked to sleep....right?! I thought about it and maybe she doesn't, she has kicked, punched and hit me while screaming lately as I've tried to settle her by rocking. But I thought I'd give it a go as it couldn't go any worse than how she's been settling lately. I cuddled her and gently rocked while shushing just for maybe a minute, I then put her down and shush/pat while offering the dummy. She was too busy talking and then crying so when it got to a proper upset cry I picked her up, a super - quick shush and rock then straight back down to shush/pat. She went in the cot awake and after about 5 minutes she was fast asleep with no dummy! in total in took less than 10 minutes, and although she did become upset it wasn't as much as through the rocking, and even if it was I'd still keep doing this now as she is able to drift off eventually and I don't know about anyone else but my back can't take many more days and nights of rocking!

I know this time could have just been a fluke, but I saw that she CAN settle this way and I'm not denying her my presence or touch. She knows I'm still right there. I will definitely be using shush/pat rather than rocking from now on!

Well done Hazel ! I need to try this. Had a terrible nap day today . She has only beed napping for ten mins and is then wide awake. I am expecting epic meltdowns later ! Feeling quite low today , when does parenting get easier ? I wouldn't want if any other way but it is so hard . This is the first time I have sat down today . Ds is constantly melting down as he is tired , I don't think he slept very well last night due to the heat !

Oh sycamore that sounds tough

has there been any improvement since?

No but at least one of them is in bed ! She had a huge meltdown and is constantly trying to bite everything so I think the poor thing must be teething . Got her down at 630pm but she is awake again ! How was your day ?

Awww poor love it's awful seeing them in pain. What do you think of amber jewellery? I used to hate the idea and don't personally believe it works, but when I suspected DD was teething last week my friend recommended an anklet and says she swears by it. I was desperate and it was £10 from Amber Pumpkin. DD wears it round her pudgy little ankle and only takes it off for a bath. I'm still not convinced but as I said, I was desperate!

My day has been ok thankyou. the shush pat has been bloody amazing today. For one of the naps I think I was in and out of the room in about 2 minutes...no seriously!! She was dropping off on the bottle so I kept her awake, burped her then took her up, in to the cot with shush pat and white noise and boom! It's never happened like that! Still short crappy naps but hey its saved my back and some of my sanity!!

How are you feeling today? Do you have a good support network?

Hazel it sounds like your doing brilliant with the shush-pat method. Did it work throughout the night? I have found it quite effective at times but only when DD is very drowsy. If I do it from wide awake she gets
all fussy and won't let me pat her!
Scyamore im too worried about the heat. How bloody hot was last night? Our room was a mere 26c at 1am this morning! And it seems my nightmares are coming true! Last night was even worse than the night before. Slept well until 9.30pm then after that she just wouldnt go to sleep. She would start drifting off then 2 minutes later wake and cry. I left her and watched her self settle 4 times! But each time she woke
few minutes later. I know its hot but this is one extreme to another. How can she go from doing so well to waking constantly again? Im feeling so utterly fed up this morning. I felt like things were getting back to normal! I felt so good last week with the extra sleep and this week im just miserable again. I saw every hour multiple tinesy on the clock until 2.45am when I thought oh sod it she will have to come into bed with me. Even that took some doing! She was sleeping in a long sleeve vest and a 1.0tog bag. I checked her a lot and she didn't seem overally hot but maybe it was too much clothing?
Her naps were really good yesterday too! ( for her) a 45 min in the morning. A 1hr in early afternoon and a 1hr 25 in the afternoon ending at 3.45pm. Perfect I thought? Nope... so she can self settle... her naps are better... she is taking more milk and she STILL wont sleep. I just dont know what to do now.

mariloulou I'm sorry you've had such a crappy night it must feel so disheartening after you get on a roll with the good nights. It was insanely hot last night wasn't it? I didn't see how hot it was in our room but DD only wore a sleeveless vest with no blanket and was still too hot. Some of the heat played a part in her lack of sleep I think. I know you must have lost hope that things will get better now, but I honestly think they'll come right for you again real soon after everything you've said. I think it's easier to look from the outside in with more reason rather than when it's happening to you you're convinced this is it and it won't ever get better. The shush pat didn't work through the night I just had to wing it with whatever worked, including a lot of hot and uncomfortable Cosleeping. Just tried it again though for the first nap and she went wild but settled so much quicker than through rocking - phew!

Last night was a bit of a blur. DD went to bed at 6.45, was up at 9.15 for a small feed, then at 10 or 11 ish I think, 1, 2.30 where she stayed up until 3.15, 4.30 then up at 5.30. When she woke at 2.30 I then couldn't get back to sleep as it was so bloody hot was also then thinking about the shopping list I need to make for a bbq party we're having, a great time of night to be thinking about how many corn on the cobs you need

Hope others had a better night!

Mariloulou , so sorry to hear about last night . I really do think it's got something to do with the heat. It was so hot last night. I have a feeling when the weather cools she will go back to normal!
Hazel , sorry to hear you had a rough night too , I couldn't sleep either as I was so hot. BBQ sounds fun :-)
I tried shush pat last night but dd just thought I was playing and started smiling ? I need to make sure I am doing it correctly. She slept ok last night as I had a fan on her and it's quite loud , I think she liked the white noise ? She just had a nappy on and swaddle sheet . She woke at 130am and 5am and even went back down until 7am. I kept checking her as I was worried about her overheating!
Hazel . I have a bit of support but not huge amount . I am lucky as ds is in nursery two days a week. Dh is stressed with work and I am tired so we are not getting on very well which is making me feel quite down . Hopefully things will improve soon . Hope you have good days ladies xxx

It's so testing on your relationship isn't it I thought our relationship was strong but I've had moments where I've felt like giving it all up. It will get better remember.

That's good your night wasn't too bad, although a bummer that you didn't get much sleep as it was so hot!

Maybe try shush pat during the day? DD won't have it during the night. She's just gone crazy again when I did it, but I'm still certain it takes her less time to settle and it saves my back! in the end I had to put my pyjama top in the cot which she's currently sucking on!

If you don't use white noise it might be something to consider. DD loves it. You can get apps on your phone, the one I used is White Noise Baby, but I then bought a machine as I wanted my phone back!

Thanks Hazel . Yes it certainly is testing . We are both very tired abs rarely get a break so not a great combination !
I will def try white noise again , I did try it when she was tiny but it didn't really settle her then .
Think she is def teething . Ten minute naps again (apart from first one very early at the park ) she was really crying , tried teething powders and teething gel but nothing worked so gave calpol and she is having a good nap now .

Poor thing, teething is a bitch isn't it!! We bought DD a teeny teething ring from Boots as all of the others in shops are too big. She doesn't really hold it though so we've also used cold raw carrot in little stick for her to chew on! At least if it's teething hopefully it won't be long before you can return to a good night's sleep!

Oh meant to say i will try the amber stuff . Well she slept better last night but maybe exhaustion as hardly napped yesterday . Hope you have a better night !

Having kiddies can definitely throw a spanner in the works! But if you compromise, share the work load and be honest about everything I think it helps!
must say im dreading tonight. Already shattered. The heat is ridiculous and DD2 has struggled all day with it. Shes so grumpy and hot bless her. Currently on 4th
nap technically. 2 have been 35 mins. I don't know what to dress her in. A sleeping bag seems to hot but just a vest seems to little! I want her to feel snuggled but not sweltering! Probably aiming for a 7.30pm bedtime at this rate, the aim is to have her sleeping a little longer than 9.30pm as its our anniversary and would like to finish our meal and film for once, ha! Heres hoping....

Happy anniversary mariloulou! hope you get a chance to enjoy the evening.

I feel the same way about wanting them to feel snuggled. It felt wrong putting DD to bed in a sleeveless vest and no blanket but it was far too hot in our room.She was even hot just in that. I've been offering her plenty of water as I'm worried she'll end up dehydrated.

I doubt any of us are likely to see much improvement while this heatwave is about - it's hard enough for us exhausted mummies to sleep let alone the poor little ones. Here's hoping to a better night though eh!

Happy anniversary Mariloulou , hope you had a lovely uninterrupted dinner !
What a night ! The room as 28, so uncomfortable. DD ended up just sleeping in her nappy and was awake every hour from 11 wanting a feed as she was hot and thirsty .
So shattered. Didn't hear from poor ds . He must have been boiling too. So tired .... Hope you guys had better nights ..

28 oh my goodness, no one can sleep in that heat :( how's the teething?

We had a mixed night. DD eventually went to sleep about 7 after a battle, then was up an hour later, then an hour later again. She wasn't hungry she just wouldn't settle. in the meantime the cat nearly collapsed and was straining badly to poo, then threw up everywhere. Gave him some water as we suspected he was dehydrated and he threw that up too, was awful to watch Poor thing. Had to phone the emergency vet. Then ran back upstairs as DD still wasn't settling and took my Mum's advice to lay her on our bed as she may be too hot and the bigger space may be better for her. So after checking her nappy and trying to feed her I rocked her for a bit then laid her on top of our duvet and put my hand on her until she was asleep. I pointed the fan in her direction. I put pillows either side of her and she slept from 9.45-1:30!! The longest she's slept in ages. She then went back to sleep until 4.30 where I fed her and she exploded with poo so was wide awake and hasn't gone back to sleep.

Throughout this I slept on the couch with the cat and legged it upstairs whenever I heard DD. So glad she slept a bit better, I think that proves this heat is just too much for her. If she won't settle again tonight I'll be doing the same again just to make sure she has a good night. Hoping it cools down soon!

Oh girls you poor things! The heat was bloody unbearable, our room also never dipped below 25c despite all windows being open and a fan on full wack!
sycamore - nope DD woke part way through dinner/film, took a while to go back off too! Also didnt hear a peep from my eldest, her room was boiling too, poor thing, but she sleeps through anything!
Hazel, poor LO and kitty! Sounds very stressful being worries about both of them. Just makes you realise how dangerous the heat can be. Hope the kitty is feeling bettertoday?
Sounds great that your DD slept over 4 hours though! Was your DH in bed with her? I agree it was probably much cooler on a duvet for her with the fan. May try that tonight too though the heat it letting up a bit tonight.
Not a great night here also, as expected! She woke 9.30-12-3.15 and didnt settle again til 4.30 then up at 5.45am. She slept in a vest and seemed cool but the room was sticky. She didn't drink as much during the night but seemed happy. She self settled at 4.30 eventually which is positive though I don't know why shes so wide awake for so long?
The 3 hourly wakes are so exhausting still because I'm not sleeping in between. The heat, the snoring, and DD stirring and making noises in her sleep is keeping me up. We are thinking about trying her in her own room in a couple weeks. This would stop me intervening with settling her and would be much quieter for her. We shall see. For now... get through the day! CBA if im honest!

Mariloulou , sorry you didn't get to enjoy your dinner , that is a shame .
Hazel , sorry to hear about your cat! Poor thing ! How is he/she doing now ?

Good idea re putting dd in a bigger space , sounds like she was comfortable to get a good four hours .

DD sleeps in her sleepyhead but I may try her in the cot tonight , couldn't swaddle either and she just had a nappy on all night . Really hoping for rain so I have an excuse to stay indoors today as feel shattered .
Hope you all have a good day xx

Thanks ladies, cat seems to be a little better today but keeping a close eye on him.

sycamore I would definitely try the cot tonight as well as a fan, the bigger space might actually be some relief to her right now, and let's face it- what have you got to lose?!

I'll be putting the fan closer to DD tonight right near her cot so hopefully she'll stay settled in there.

Mariloulou what a shame you couldn't enjoy your evening. But what a blessing your other LO is such a good sleeper! We too are considering putting DD in her own room soon. We all disturb each other too much and, like you, I leap up the moment I hear her wriggle to try and stop her from waking up! Yeah DP was next to DD last night in bed but I kept them apart with pillows. Will try the same again tonight if needed and I'll sleep on the couch. You'd think that would be uncomfortable sleeping on the couch with the cat but after many nights co-sleeping with DD it was actually quite comfy and peaceful despite having the monitor next to me!

DD took a 1.5 hour nap yesterday- bliss! She's currently on her second nap today as she was up at 4.30 but has just gone past an hour so far, let's hope for better naps instead of the shitty 30 min ones!

Evening all, been awol as I got completely a bit overwhelmed! Ended up phoning HV team and having a big cry , my HV was out so they sent a lovely paed nurse out who gave some good advice and reassurance.

Basically we're stuck with the short naps and night-time wakings, but she said DD is getting enough sleep, and more importantly, short 20/30 min naps are actually fine in terms of her getting enough rest for her development etc, which I'd been v anxious about.
I've eased up on the 1.5 hourly naps - I kept reading everywhere that it's so important, but she said although it's good in theory, DD likely doesn't need to sleep that often, so leave her much longer, there will be less fight, or she'll fall asleep by herself when she needs to (can't quite believe this yet but apparently at this age they're incapable of 'keeping' themselves awake) - and it won't confuse her to nap where she falls occasionally, instead of always napping in cot/dark room etc.

All sounds a bit obvious now, but I was so sleep deprived I couldn't see any way forward except plouging on with naps and it was getting pretty miserable. We've been out lots the last 2 days and I've just let DD get on with it, and actually she has napped - not much, but tbh her overtiredness/bedtime meltdown wasn't any worse.

Anyway, that was rather long, but hoping some of it might be helpful to anyone!

Sorry to hear of more crappy nights. This heat is terrible, poor babies. And if they're struggling in the day it's bound to lead to disturbed night. Really hoping that's the case with your DD mariloulou and once the temp falls she'll be back on track. Like you I have a problem not sleeping between wake-ups which is really frustrating. I think it's because I'm a bit tense waiting for the next one, when DD is more settled and I can trust she'll go a few hours then I'll relax more?!

hazel how's your cat? As if you don't have enough on your plate!! Must be awful under all that fur eh, poor things
Great to hear your DD had a good rest, I think you're onto something there.

Hope you got some rest today sycamore

Fingers crossed for a cooler night for everyone!

Whereismy I'm so sorry to hear you've had such a rough time. It really is tough, and so draining of all of your energy. You must feel so low, I hope you have a good support network. We're always here to listen too

I've been on my knees at times, this sleep regression has come on gradually since 13 weeks, DD is now 18 weeks. At times I've thought I just can't go on any longer, I can't physically give anymore after having 2 hours sleep a night then being on my own with her all day. Those shitty naps aren't enough time for you to get your head down either to catch up. I've tried napping when DD does but my mind won't switch off and then she's awake again.Ive tried so hard to remain positive throughout this. I've found that always thinking to myself 'this won't last!' really does help. Although my DP has said it to me before and I've snapped saying 'it might not but I can't survive with it just for now!!'.

I don't know about you but as awful as every night is, I find myself actually starting to get a bit used to the shitty sleep although I still long for just a few hours sleep in one go!

The past couple of nights have been better for us than what they have been in ages and what a relief, I think the slight drop in temperature has helped. DD has gone from waking an hour after being put to bed and on average about another 7 times after that with difficulty settling each time and feeds all over the bloody place, to Wednesday night having a 3 hour chunk then up about 4 times after, and then last night a 4 hour chunk then up about 3 times after. She's woken up at 4.30 ready to get up but after a lot of rocking (she won't allow the shush pat at night) she's eventually gone back to sleep and had a lye in until 6 this morning woohoo! She goes to bed around 7ish. She's been easier to put down and the past couple of days has had a 1.5 hour nap amongst all of her 30 minute ones. What have I changed? Nothing apart from letting her sleep in a sleeveless vest with a thin blanket and the fan on full directly on her as I remember reading that a baby's room should be cool to get them to sleep. She just seems to be sorting it for herself.

We may well have a shitty night tonight but after just 2 good days and nights I feel a lot more positive. I always thought that it would be my baby who doesn't go back to sleeping well. But try your best to stay relaxed and not go mad making lots of changes and things will naturally get better when your LO isn't so busy doing all of this growing and learning. I've lost count the amount of growth spurts she seems to have had lately and new things she's picking up- she's just started rolling over all over the place and now wants to sit up! She's pulling herself over in the cot and has changed so quickly just recently. You can almost see the cogs turning in her brain sometimes where she's trying to get herself to sleep but she just can't as she's so busy in her little head!

Things WILL get better, and you WILL get through this. As I said, just try to relax and not fret about not doing things as you should be or about your LO getting enough rest. You're doing just fine, go with the flow and LO will naturally go back to sleeping when they're ready and not so busy growing as lightening speed! it won't last!!

Always here if you need a chat (sorry about the long post! ) Hope you're feeling a little better today and managed to get some rest last night

Whereismy - so sorry to hear you have been having a hard time . It's very difficult . I too have been stressing about crappy naps but read a baby sleep site which reassured me as it says catnaps are totally normal for this age group . Now I have been trying to get her to sleep more frequency which has helped with over tiredness . Yesterday she was so tired I out her down at 6pm and she didn't wake until 1045pm. Then she woke at 3am and up for the day at 6am . This is such an improvement for us ( others may think it's a bad night ) :-)
Totally after with Hazel , it will get better for you .